Chapter 12 #2
He seems frustrated. And I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of the day without exploding.
But I manage to pull myself together, and I make a sale in the latter part of the day.
It's a big sale, too. Enough to make up for the fact that I'm not in the store today.
The sign on the door says where we are, but still.
All my inventory is at the store, so I'm very impressed.
But not happy enough to make up for what I witnessed earlier.
"You mind if I go grab a bite to eat now, Lennie? " Buddy asks.
"Sure. Go ahead."
That's when he walks by. I try to avert my gaze, but he catches the fleeting look on my face, which I try to replace by pasting a smile on. "What's going on?" He asks, concern registered all over his face.
I have to lie. "Nothing. It's just been a long day."
He stands there, looking at me, and he swallows. "Not buying it. I've seen you after a long day and that's not what it looks like."
There are no words.
"Something's wrong, Lennie. I know it." He says, coming closer to me. There isn't anyone in the tent. It's just us. "Tell me who hurt you."
"Nobody hurt me. And I can't talk about it right now."
"Do you need me to stick around?" He asks, voice low, as if he's ready to kill if necessary.
"No. No, it's nothing like that."
He searches my eyes. I can't look at him. Not now. Not with knowing how much that I'm going to have to hurt him by telling him what I know. "Fine. I'll stop by at closing time and give you a hand with all this stuff."
"You don't have to do that. We can grab one of the hands at management."
It's like he doesn't hear me. "Lennie, it's killing me that something's bothering you. To see that look on your face, knowing that something's wrong, it's killing me."
Someone walks into the tent, breaking the tension. "Not now, Levi. I'll see you later."
He breaks the intense look on his face as the patrons walk past him. A smile is pasted on as he tips his hat to them and to me and walks out.
"I have a question." The lady with the floral hat says.
Yeah, so do I. How do I tell the only man on earth that I've ever loved that he's been had, without breaking his heart?
The last of our gear goes into the trailer.
Buddy gets into his truck and takes off, leaving me with Levi.
He takes the hint that I've got business to tend to before we can talk, and he follows me to the store, where he proceeds to help me and Buddy unload.
"You sure Billy doesn't need you?" Buddy checks.
"Naw, everyone's pitching in. They know that you two haven't got anyone else to lend a hand."
As the last of the stuff gets put away, Levi stands outside of the store, pacing. "I'm heading on home, Lennie. I'll see you tomorrow." Buddy states.
"Yeah, I'll see you. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
I watch Buddy salute Levi before hopping into his truck, confused as to why he doesn't have more words for him, seeing as Levi hasn't left yet and I'm still here.
And I'm wondering if Levi has told him that there's something amiss with me.
After I lock up the store and arm the security system, I walk out of the store.
Levi is chewing on the pad of his thumb, still pacing.
He looks at me and we both know that words need to be said.
But I don't want to say them here. And not in my store, either.
"Why don't you follow me to my place, Levi? That way we can do this in private."
"I'll follow you."
As we drive to my place, I get a whole ten minutes to decide how to tell him. But as soon as we pull up to my house, I can't remember a single damn thing that I came up with. "Your place is sweet." He comments, looking around.
"Thanks. It's small, but I like it that way. Big houses do nothing for me."
"Same here. Quaint is key."
"Exactly." I give him a weak smile as I unlock the door and disarm the security system.
Again, he looks around. "This is so you."
"Is that good or bad?"
"It's good." He sees some of my paintings and my portraits lined on the wall in the main hallway. They're a progression of pictures in black and white of my folks as they grew up to when they got married and so on. "That's really sweet. Never seen that before."
"It took some doing to dig up all those photographs. Some needed to be retouched."
My living room and dining room has hardwood flooring throughout.
Dark maple, with cream furniture and black accents.
Punches of color are in the couch cushions, the area rugs and peppered throughout the walls with some vibrant photographs.
But most of my photography is black and white, especially in the hallways.
I don't dare show him my bedroom. "Do you want some sweet tea?
" I ask but regret it the second that it comes out of my mouth.
I don't want to give him something that he can use as a missile and shoot across my living room.
"No, I'm fine, thanks."
Thank God.
He starts pacing again, and I get nervous. "Why don't you tell me what's going on, Lennie?"
"Please sit." I ask him.
He takes the proffered seat on the couch, and I sit across from him, dragging a dining room chair over.
His gaze is on me and I couldn't feel worse about it.
The only thing that I can do to help ease the pain that I'm about to inflict on him is by taking his hands in mine.
"Levi, I need to tell you something very difficult. "
The muscles in his jaw are working. He says nothing and waits patiently.
"Please don't think that I'm nuts for doing this, but I did a little digging when we first met and you told me you had a girlfriend."
I pause.
He's just blinking, waiting for the punchline.
"I crept on your social media and found a picture of Shelly."
His eyebrows wrinkle. "Okay."
"So, therefore, I know what she looks like, even though I've never met her before."
He nods, but I can tell by his eyes, that he's confused.
I lick my lips, still holding his hands. "When I was at the Hoedown today, I went over to the food truck and sat by the water. I saw Shelly with a friend sit down and start chatting."
"Uh huh."
Another swallow. "I was there, eavesdropping, when you came by and offered to get her something to eat."
He's still so discombobulated. "Okay."
"When you gestured to your belly and left, I saw her tell her friend that she's not pregnant."
His face drops. He sits back and his hands naturally release from mine.
"It's all part of some scheme to get at your money. I saw her say that she's done this already to some guy named Gary that she was married to. That's why she had those rings. She cashed them in for money."
He makes a fist and touches his lips with it. It's like he's trying to find the words but can't.
“I’m so sorry, Levi.“
He looks away from me, glancing sternly at the wall. I don’t know what else to say to him. I get the feeling that the more I say the less it will help. Finally, after a beat, he exhales sharply and rises. “I’ve got to go."
I know that he’s upset, but he’s not shaking mad. “Are you okay to drive? I can give you a ride home."
He looks at me for a quick second and blinks.
"I’m fine. I just, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you.
" Is all he says. He’s not shouting, he’s not throwing things, he’s not spitting his words in anger, so all I can do is take his word for it and let him go.
I have no idea where he’s going, or what he’s going to do, or even if he believes me.
But in the next few hours, I’ll find out.