Chapter 1
Brooks
Two Weeks Ago
I open the pasture gate when my Buckskin mare, Shine, turns her head. Her ears pricked forward toward the house. I follow her gaze, eying the dust as it climbs up the horizon.
When I picked my plot to put a house on, we reworked some of the gates, creating an easy path between my homestead and the main house. I’m close enough that I can grab a side-by-side or horse to be in the hub of the ranch quickly, but far enough from town that I don’t get many visitors.
Especially when I’m not expecting someone.
And I’m not. That cloud of dust tells me I have an unwanted guest coming up my driveway.
I finish turning my favorite horse, Whiskey, out into the pasture.
His bright white mane flies behind him as he chases his girl around.
Hanging his halter in the barn, I make my way toward the house.
My gated backyard isn’t much. A small patch of grass that leads to a concrete deck where I have a patio set and hot tub. There’s not much for landscaping around here. I tried my hand at it a few times, but all the plants I got in the ground died from being ignored.
Deciding to greet whoever has come to infringe on my sanctuary and solitude without giving them the option of coming in, I walk around instead of through the house.
When I turn the corner, I see a brown, rusted-out Sedan, the front bumper hanging on for dear life. A donut of a tire on the back; the front door panel caved in like it got head butted by a buffalo.
Jet black hair and sunken eyes turn toward me with a paper-thin smile. There’s makeup on her teeth, and I shudder when she pats her hair down, like she’s worried she won’t impress me.
She doesn’t.
“Damnit,” I grumble. I was having such a good day.
I went to check on a friend, who’s more like a brother, only to find my sister was secretly at home sharing a cabin with him.
The last time I saw Clayton Traeger looking well rested, he was sneaking into her bed, and we all pretended like we didn’t notice.
Like we had no idea that Leni was the only thing helping him sleep after his first tour as a Marine.
We had a bet running that they’d end up together once she turned eighteen, but it’s been ten years since we’ve seen them in a room together. Guess that streak is over now.
I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose as I try to prepare myself for whatever my hurricane of an ex-fiancée has to say. I’m about to open my mouth when I realize there’s a car seat sitting on my porch, a grocery sack next to it. A little hand sticking out, fingers twirling in a sunbeam.
“Kate,” I bite out her name. My tone brooking no question of warmth or familiarity.
“Brooks, hey.” Her voice has always been one of my favorite things about her. She has a slight southern drawl that’s both sweet and sexy.
“What are you doing here?”
“I need to ask you something.” She flinches, bony shoulders curving in.
This isn’t the villain I’ve built up in my head over the years.
That Kate is larger than life, and as destructive as a tornado.
This Kate is wrecked, small, and helpless.
A twinge of guilt surges through me before I remember all the shit she put me through.
“The answer is no, Kate, whatever it is.”
“God, you’re such an asshole.” She rolls her eyes, then shoves the car seat aside to sit on the porch.
The baby inside doesn’t make a noise. Kate’s long legs stretch out in front of her.
They’re bony and bruised, pockmarked and sickly white.
I take in her emaciated frame and wonder how I ever found her attractive.
Of course, she wasn’t always an addict. She wasn’t always like this.
“You won’t even listen to what I have to say? ”
“What could you possibly have to say, Kate? I told you last time I never wanted to see you again. I thought I made that pretty clear.”
“I know that, but things have changed.”
“Not that much.”
“Brooks, I have a daughter.”
“Congratulations,” I deadpan.
“I need you to take her.” She shoves her fingers into her pockets, gnawing on the side of her cheek. “I got sober for the pregnancy, went cold turkey, and it nearly killed me. But I’m not a mother, Brooks, you know that.”
“That’s not my kid.” I jab a finger at the car seat that’s still sitting on the porch by itself.
“Obviously.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m not cut out for this, Brooks. And you’re the best person I know. She’d have a better shot at a good life with you.”
“Where’s her dad?”
Kate drops her eyes, looking down at her dirty tennis shoes. “I don’t know. I don’t even know who he is.”
“Fuck,” I mutter, rolling the brim of my hat between my hands.
I told myself I was done cleaning up Kate’s messes, but this mess doesn’t just affect Kate.
There’s a baby in that car seat who needs care and love.
Two things Kate is incapable of giving to another human being.
“What the fuck, Kate? You think you can just pull up here and drop off your kid? Like I’m a fucking daycare? ”
“No, I know you. I know you won’t take her unless I give her up completely. So, call Ethan and write up whatever you want. I’ll sign over all my legal rights, put it down in writing that I’ll never come back. I just need you to take her.”
“I can’t just take your kid, Kate. There are laws. It takes months to adopt a child.”
“You don’t have to adopt her, Brooks. I put your name on the birth certificate.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” I scrub a hand down my face. What the hell did I ever see in this woman? “Get in the house, Kate.”
She shrugs and ambles her way through the front door, leaving her infant on my porch.
I pace back and forth, gravel crunching under my boots as I stare at my house. My safe haven. My one place that I can drop the facade that I’m fine.
I drop my gaze to my boots, toeing the dirt beneath me. This is the spot where I brought Kate when I proposed. We camped out in the bed of my truck and planned a life together. I used to sit here, in a camp chair, picturing exactly what the house would look like.
I pictured Kate, glowing as she stood on that porch, barefoot, and pregnant.
I pictured little dark-haired children running around, screaming, and laughing.
God, there wasn’t anything I wanted more.
I nearly broke my back paying for the house, for all the upgrades Kate said she would need if I moved her so far away from town.
She lasted two weeks here. Two weeks before, she started driving into town for parties. Staying with whoever would let her crash. Sleeping with whoever happened to be around.
I excused it all. I gave her second chances, time and time again. I don’t even know how many times I got a call from a friend or the hospital. How many times I had to bring her back here and help her through a hangover, or the withdrawals when she’d try to get clean.
I had a whole fucking protocol to deal with Kate. Going through the motions, because I was clinging to that dream in my head.
The dream I had all but given up on.
I learned a long time ago that I don’t get the girl. I don’t get the cozy family life I once thought I’d have.
“You can’t love me the way I deserve,” she spat out that final night. “Don’t you get it, Brooks? You drove me away. You’re the reason I had to go looking for more. You and this stupid fucking life in the middle of nowhere. You were never good enough for me. You have nothing I want.”
I drop to the porch steps, head falling into my hands as I struggle to breathe past the ache in my chest.
My entire life, I had a plan. I was going to take over the ranch, marry my high school sweetheart, and be the unicorn couple that I see in my parents. Build a family. Have a life.
All of that shattered the second Kate first put a needle in her arm, and I’ve been running from it ever since. I don’t do failure. I don’t make mistakes. Not anymore.
A little squeak from my left has me looking over at the car seat.
One little hand is lifted up again, fingers still twirling in a sunbeam.
I hook a corner of the seat and turn it towards me, peering down at the sweetest little face.
There’s a wisp of red hair on her head, big blue eyes staring up at me, and stubby little fingers reach out to touch my beard.
Shit. I breathe out. I will never have the life I planned for with Kate, but this little girl won’t have any kind of life with her either.
Not one I’d wish for anyone, especially not someone so tiny and vulnerable.
Her little head cocks, a tentative smile crossing her face.
She doesn’t fuss, doesn’t try to get out of the battered car seat she’s strapped into.
Staring up at me, those blue eyes seem to take in everything. I stroke a finger down her cheek, her smile blooming wide, nose scrunching. I know then, at that moment, I’m not letting her leave here. Not with Kate and not to go into foster care.
“Holy shit.” I blow out a breath, fishing my phone out of my pocket to dial Ethan’s number.
“Hey,” Ethan says, shuffling something around in the background.
“You home?”
“Nah, just packing stuff up at the office.”
“What paperwork do you need to sign over your rights as a parent?” Ethan’s side of the line goes so quiet I can practically hear the gears in his brain moving.
“I beg your pardon?” Leather squeaks, and I’m almost certain he had to take a seat.
“I’ll explain more later. For now, I just need to know what’s needed.”
“Family law isn’t exactly my area of expertise.” I hear his computer booting up in the background.
“Give it your best shot then.”
“Uh, sure. We’ll have to file a petition with family court, and you’re gonna need cause.”
“Well, she’s a drug addict who doesn’t want the kid, so I think we have cause.”
“Fucking hell. I knew she was going to come around. What the fuck, Brooks?”
“Don’t get your panties in a twist. I didn’t invite her here.” Big blue eyes widen when my voice raises, her little body shrinking back into the dilapidated car seat. “Hey,” I lower my voice, crooning like I would at a scared horse. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay.”
“Please tell me you’re talking to a colt,” Ethan groans in my ear.
“Nope, not quite.”
“Fuck. Listen, I think we can get the process expedited, but adoptions take time.”
“She put me on the birth certificate.”
Silence. Then, he blows a breath out loud and obnoxious in my ear. “Of course she did. It’s not yours?”
I laugh a dark, humorless noise.
“Right,” he sighs into my ear again. “I’ll text Judge Reinhardt and see if he’s free tomorrow.”
“‘Preciate you.” I loop my arm through the carrier, then opt to just scoop it up from the bottom when the handle pulls clean off.
I leave the plastic bag and whatever she has inside it on the porch.
Not at all surprised when I find Kate going through the fridge, probably looking for alcohol.
Sucks to be her, though. I gave that shit up when she left.
“I see you’re just as fun as ever,” she spits, leaning back against the counter with a can of soda in her hands.
“What’s her name?”
“Dunno, I never gave her one.”
“How’d you file the birth certificate?”
“It just says Baby Girl Kane.” She shrugs like this is a totally acceptable answer.
“How old is she?”
“Eight…nine months maybe? I don’t know. I took the pain meds at the hospital, and that was that.”
Meaning the second those drugs left her system, she went looking for another high.
It’s a wonder the baby even lasted this long.
I don’t know the first thing about babies, but she’s tiny.
The tiniest little thing I’ve ever seen.
Ignoring Kate, I pull my phone back out and shoot a text off to Pa and my foreman, Destin.