Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Gavin went through so many different emotions during the long night that he thought if Kari did write him into one of her books, she should write him as some twisted character who didn’t know his own mind.
He felt elation and desire when he thought of Kari and especially the kisses and closeness they’d shared, and he felt guilt when he realized that twice now he’d put his own wants above Austin.
Austin had given him that cute speech about how if he married Kari it would just mean more love for him, but what if it meant Austin got shunted to the side?
Gavin was an all-or-nothing kind of person.
He’d loved Janielle so desperately, it had taken a long time to get over her deception.
If he loved that deeply again and Kari wasn’t interested in the long term or being an adoptive mother to Austin, or if she left Arizona for this beautiful valley that was freezing nine months out of the year, or a hundred other things that could go wrong, how would he survive another heartbreak?
Already he could feel that Kari had the power to capture him much more deeply than Janielle had, and he’d known her for a matter of days.
He knew some of his siblings had fallen for their spouses or fiancés quickly, but that wasn’t him.
He was slow and steady, like a sluggish turtle.
He woke at five a.m. the next morning, answered a few pressing emails, and then started on his workout.
Austin came in, blearily blinking his eyes, at six a.m. Gavin was so grateful that Austin lived with him now.
It made him feel like the king of the world, being this kid’s dad.
If only he could find a way to tell him the truth, without damaging his happy, carefree world.
“What the crap, bro?” Austin gave him a saucy glare. “You start without me?”
“Yeah. I needed to do a little extra this morning.” Otherwise he would end up banging on Kari’s hotel room door and begging her to kiss him again. She was leaving this morning. The thought made him sick to his stomach. What was wrong with him?
“Okay.” Austin was never one to stay upset for long. “Let’s work out hard so I can shower and we can go say goodbye to Kari. Are you going to ask her to come back?”
“I thought about seeing if she’d come for the weddings.” Gavin focused on his lateral raise so Austin wouldn’t see how deeply invested he already was.
“Cool. Everybody would like her a lot.” Austin set up a box for box jumps. “Is that, like, serious … bringing a girl to a wedding?” He leapt onto the platform, performing a deep squat and then hopping back off.
“Maybe.” Gavin lowered the dumbbells and met Austin’s eyes in the mirror. “Do you like Kari?”
“Of course. She’s awesome.” He jumped onto the box again.
“Do you like her enough to have her be your mom?” Gavin’s eyes widened as he realized his own blunder. He’d spent so many years being careful, convincing everyone that Austin was only his brother. He needed to tell him at the perfect moment, not just let it stupidly slip.
Austin put a hand on the box and gave him a questioning glance. “I already have a mom. But another sister would be way cool. Especially since she’s hot like Hottie Hazel.” He did his adorable wink that was more like a blink and then hopped onto the box again.
Gavin let out a breath of relief and focused back on strengthening his deltoids.
Austin believed firmly that he was his brother too.
That was good. Yet part of him wished that he’d already told the secret.
Mama and Papa had given their blessing for Gavin to share whenever he thought it appropriate.
How he’d love for his son to call him Dad or Daddy or whatever name Austin came up with for him.
Austin was so easygoing and happy. Gavin was ninety percent sure he’d take the news like a champion.
They ended their workout early, showered, and drove over to the lodge.
It was only six-fifty, but as they walked into the lobby Kari was already there with a suitcase and a carry-on.
She had her coat and purse over her arm and a conflicted smile on her face.
Her gaze met Gavin’s, and his blood ran hotter.
All he could think about was kissing her last night, and how he was ready to do it again.
But not with Austin here. It probably wouldn’t matter to Austin either way, but Gavin wasn’t ready to be kissing a woman in front of his boy.
“Hey,” Austin called out.
“Hi,” Kari replied.
Austin ran to her and gave her a quick hug. Gavin loved the image of his son hugging the woman he was falling for. Kari was beautiful, tall, and blond, and Austin was so cute with his thick golden-brown hair and his dark brown eyes.
“We’ll miss you,” Austin said. “Goodbye.” He darted back to Gavin’s side, and Gavin gave a surprised grunt of laughter. “Your turn,” Austin said in a too-loud whisper.
Gavin wished he could be as impetuous as his son—more, actually. He slowly walked to Kari. Her blue eyes bewitched him—they were only one of the many reasons he was so taken with her. He couldn’t find his tongue to say much more than, “Hey.”
“Hi.” She smiled up at him sweetly.
Gavin took her suitcases from her hands, feeling a surge of energy as their hands brushed. “We’ll walk you out,” he said quietly.
“Thanks.”
He waited for her to fall into step with him. Austin sort of danced by her side.
“What time’s school, big man?” Kari asked.
“It starts at nine but we leave at eight-thirty cause I like to be early and hang with my bros,” Austin explained.
Gavin pushed the door open with his shoulder, letting Kari and Austin walk past. Kari gave him a look that was so seductive yet innocent, he was lucky he was standing still so he didn’t trip on his own feet.
She glanced up at him from beneath her dark lashes, and her lips were all pouty and beautiful as she said, “Thanks.”
Gavin couldn’t even stutter out a reply. He followed them down the stairs. They reached her silver Camry rental, and she pushed a button on a key fob that opened the trunk. Gavin easily lifted the suitcases into it, and then he walked to where she and Austin were standing by the driver’s side door.
When Austin asked innocently, “So you coming back for the weddings?” Gavin felt like he had a mouth full of peanut butter.
Kari glanced at Gavin, and he shrugged stupidly. She focused back on Austin, clinging to her purse and the coat she hadn’t put on. She must be freezing, but maybe she didn’t want to have a reason to linger. “I don’t want to impose.”
Austin wrinkled his nose. “I don’t even know what that means, but you gotta come. Everybody would love you, and Gavin wants you there. Please.”
She looked at Gavin again. He said a quick prayer for the right words and heard himself admit, “We’d love to have you as our guest.”
Her beautiful smile lit her face, and the early-morning air was suddenly warm and crisp at the same time. “I’d love to be your guest.”
Gavin smiled sappily at her for a second until Austin said, “You look funny, bro.”
Gavin wiped the smile off and pulled his phone out. “Can you give me the name on your passport, and your birth date?”
“Why?” Her smooth brow wrinkled.
“So I can set up your flight. You’re our guest. I don’t want you paying for anything.”
Kari put a hand to her heart. “That’s too much. You hardly know me.”
“We like what we know,” Austin said loudly, doing his adorable blink/wink.
Gavin cracked a small smile. “Definitely.” Having his son around was almost always a bonus.
Yet it meant Gavin wouldn’t be stealing another kiss from Kari before she left.
Two weeks would be a long time. He imagined this might be how an alcoholic felt when he had to dry up.
Gavin had only tasted Kari’s sweet lips last night, and already he was addicted.
She granted them that beautiful smile of hers and said, “Kari Lynn Love, with two n’s. April 26, 1992.”
He tapped it into his phone.
“Don’t you need my number?”
“It’s on file.”
“Okay.” She sounded disappointed with his answer, but he wasn’t sure why.
He tried to think how one of her heroes in the books he’d been reading late at night would’ve responded to that, but she moved to open her door. Gavin hurried to beat her to it. She drew back with a cute little, “Oh,” and a flutter of her eyelashes.
Gavin wanted to pin her against the car and kiss her until Austin had to go to school. Austin. Only sheer willpower and his son grinning at the two of them gave him the strength to step back and murmur, “We’ll see you soon.”
He could see the disappointment in her blue gaze. It made him feel bad, but it also made him happy. At least she was disappointed that he couldn’t kiss her. He hoped she understood why.
“Bye, Kari,” Austin called.
Gavin waited with Austin as Kari climbed into her car. Gavin shut the door, giving her as big of a smile as he could under the circumstances. She started the car, waved once, and then she was driving away from them.
Austin looked up at him. “Why do I feel all … empty inside?”
“I feel the exact same, bud.”
“But she’s coming back.”
That was a light at the end of the tunnel, but suddenly the next two weeks seemed very, very long.
“You know what we need?” Austin asked.
“No.”
“A Mama hug and some Mama rolly cakes.”
“Good plan.” Gavin wanted to hug Austin tight to him. That surprised him; he loved to hug the little guy, but Austin usually initiated it. “How about a bro hug first?”
“Yeah!” Austin rammed into him, and they hugged.
Gavin picked him up and held him on his hip like he was two again.
“I’m too big for you to carry.”
“You are big, but not too big to dump in the snow.”
Austin shrieked and giggled as Gavin ran to the nearest snowbank, flipped him upside down, and let his hair and forehead touch the snow. Gavin flipped him back up and set him on his feet.
“I love you, Gav,” Austin said. “Thanks for being my best bro.”
Gavin ruffled his hair. “I love you too, bud.” After the weddings, he was going to tell Mama that he was ready and beg for some advice on how to proceed. It was time to tell his son the truth.