Don’t Quit The Day Job (The Annoying Hot Bosses Club #1)
Chapter 1
Chapter One
M ax
"We have two drink specials tonight, sir." The sultry blonde stares at me as she pushes her perky breasts toward me. She almost purrs as her green eyes attempt to seduce me. "Would you like to hear what they are?" She's leaning down so low that I can see she's not wearing a bra under her silver sequined top. The sight of her jiggling, glittery breasts should arouse me, but I'm frankly not interested in what she has to offer. Which is why I think that, of the three of us men sitting at the table, she's spent the last five minutes trying to garner my attention.
"Not particularly." I shake my head and stare back down at my phone. The blonde is attractive, but I'm not interested in any dalliances tonight. "I'd like a whiskey on the rocks."
"I wouldn't mind hearing." My law firm partner and friend, Remington Parker, leans forward with a flirtatious smile and the blonde turns her attention to him. I watch as she takes in his handsome face, tailored dark gray suit, black Italian leather shoes, and the $150,000 Patek Philippe watch that hangs nonchalantly on his wrist as if it were a five dollar shell bracelet he'd picked up on a beach in Bali.
"So the first drink is a special that I helped to name," she says proudly as she perches on the edge of the seat. Her eyes are bright as my other partner Kingston Chase also leans in as if she's about to impart the secrets of the world upon our trio. I tap my fingers impatiently against my phone screen as I wait for her to leave. The three of us are here to discuss business over drinks, not flirt up a storm with a sexy waitress that looks like she'd be happy to go home with any one of us.
"And the names are?" My tone is blunt, and I watch as Kingston and Remy exchange smirks. "We don't have all night, Ms...?"
"My name is Kitty." She throws her head back and runs her fingers across her lips in an attempt to be sexy. I try not to roll my eyes at her obvious attempts to bed one of us. "But I let my friends call me Pussy Cat."
"I bet you do," Remy chuckles and loosens his silky red tie. "I wouldn't mind calling you?—"
"Remy, really?" I raise an eyebrow at him. "We have some cases to discuss," I remind him. As partners at one of the preeminent law firms in New York City, we always have work to discuss, but tonight is more important than most because I've been given notice that the Governor himself is paying close attention to the work that we did. Which can only mean one thing: he’s eyeing one of us to be nominated for a judgeship. And if I have anything to say about it, it’s going to be me.
"The cases aren't going anywhere, Max." He shrugs and beams at Kitty. "Don't mind my partner, here. We're lawyers at a firm and he's eager to get back to work. You know what they say, you can take the lawyer out of the courtroom, but you can't take the law out of a lawyer’s head."
"Ooh, lawyers." Kitty's eyes look like she just won the jackpot and I watch as she shifts onto Remy's lap. "I love lawyers."
"The name of the drink specials?" I clear my throat and remind her.
"Oh, yes." She giggles, running her hand up and down his thigh, and then, because she didn't seem to get the hint, she uses her other hand to rub my thigh. "The first special is called a cockwarmer."
"A what?" Kingston sputters on the water he's drinking and I can't help but smirk. Neither can Kitty. She knows what she's doing.
"A cockwarmer." She grins. "It's named after one of my most favorite activities as a submissive." She giggles and bats her eyelids. I have no idea what she's talking about, and while I'm curious to know the answer, I don't want to get into a discussion with her about it. I have no patience for inane banter and I certainly don't want to give her the impression that I'm interested in continuing the conversation. "It has tequila, and let's just say when you've had two of them, all you can think about is having your?—"
"Three whiskeys on the rocks," I say firmly as I remove her hand from my thigh. My phone beeps and I see it's a message from my assistant. "Gentlemen, we really need to get down to business."
"You work too hard…" Kitty turns all of her attention to me. "You're too handsome to spend so much time focused on work. You need a lil pussy...cat to help relax you."
"And I'm guessing that pussy cat is you?" I lean back and look her over. The pouting red lips, the long blonde hair that screams of extensions, the green eyes with the heavy mascara, the glitter all over her cleavage. She was practically begging me to take her home for the night. And maybe if I were younger and less focused on the job, I'd give her everything I had for one night, but I’m just not interested. I've had enough meaningless sex to last me a lifetime. Not to say that I’m a monk or anything. I have three or four women on rotation that I call up if I’m feeling particularly horny, but I haven't actually gotten laid in three months. Not since Vanessa, an accountant I slept with a handful of times, told me she loved me and burst out crying when I told her that I wasn't going to fuck her without a condom. That incident had made me take a step back from casual sex. I really didn't need the drama.
"Let's just say that my mouth and my kitty make great warmers." She winks at me and I feel her hand moving up my thigh toward my crotch. She frowns as I grab her hand, push it away and jump up.
"I'm headed for a piss. Be a dear and grab the whiskeys." I turn around and head to the restroom, opening the text message from my assistant on the way. I've been waiting on her to get back to me for over two hours. She hadn't come in to work today and I’m in need of some memos being typed up and some discovery sent to opposing counsel for a case. I stop outside the door and lean against the wall, ignoring the sounds of people laughing and talking. I normally enjoy hanging out at The Owl and the Pussycat, but tonight I’m stressed out. A part of me wonders if I should bang Kitty just to release some pent-up energy, but I don't want to spend half the night listening to her talk before I get some. My hand can do just as good a job as her mouth in about a quarter of the time.
" I quit. Effective immediately. "
"Fucking stupid," I mumble under my breath as I see my assistant’s text of resignation. "How unprofessional." I grip the phone and let out a deep sigh. I'm tense and I can feel the anxiety rolling down my back. I run my fingers through my silky hair and close my eyes for a few moments. I cannot believe that yet another assistant of mine has quit. I know I’m a difficult boss, but it’s because I have goals. Though, sometimes I wonder if my goals are dictating my life. My eighteen-year-old younger sister, Marie, sure seems to think so and loves to tell me so at every opportunity. She thinks that I’m boring and wasting my life away and she wants to go to college in New York so she can live with me and try to set me up. She loves to boss me around like she’s the sibling that is seventeen years older than the other.
I take a deep breath and head back to the table. I'm glad to see that Kitty has left the group, but the knowing glances on my partners’ faces as I approach the table has me steeling my spine.
"Before you say a word, just know that my latest assistant just quit and I'm not in the mood."
"Shit, another one? Already?" Kingston raises a dark eyebrow. "What's that now? Five assistants in six months?"
"Something like that." I growl as I sit down. "Your last assistant quit as well, so it's not like you're batting any better."
"Mine quit because her husband got a job offer in Iceland." He smirks. "Yours quit because why?"
"Who knows?" I shrug, annoyed as I look around. "Where the hell is my drink?"
"You scared the poor kitty cat away." Remy chuckles as he pulls out his phone. "That's why you both need to get an assistant like mine. Dowdy and only interested in her dogs, or cats, or rabbits or whatever."
"He scares them away because he—" Kingston starts and I glare at him.
"I don't scare anyone away. I'm a great boss. It's not me, it's them. I didn't realize I had to nurture these assistants like they were plants. But now that I do, I can guarantee that I will never have another assistant quit. It doesn't matter who they are. I can take anyone and teach them to be an amazing assistant and ensure that another one never quits."
"Never?" Remington laughs loudly, slapping his hand down onto his thigh. "Wait until I tell Gabriel." Gabriel is the fourth partner at the firm. Even though he isn’t a named partner, he still has full equity.
"If HR had informed me they were hiring snowflakes, I would have?—"
"Let's make a bet." Kingston grins as he opens up his cognac-brown leather wallet and pulls out a stack of hundred dollar bills and places them on the table. "I bet you a thousand dollars that your next assistant quits within one month."
"Oh, you're on..." I smirk.
"Wait, I'm not done." He grins. "You say you can take anyone and teach them to be an amazing assistant, right?"
"Yeah, don't you know who I am?" I nod slowly, wondering what I'm getting myself into. Kingston loves to bet about everything. If he were anyone else, I'd be worried he had a gambling problem, but I've known Kingston Chase since the first year of law school and the only issue he has is with commitment to anything other than work. In fact, all of us partners are dedicated to the law. That's why we all came together to start a firm a few years after we graduated law school and that's why now, seven years later, we have one of the most successful firms in the city. The law is our life and very little comes before our jobs.
I know none of us have great work-life balance, which Marie says will lead to an early grave, but right now, all that matters to each of us is becoming the best law firm. Forget Skadden, forget Latham, Chase, Parker, and Spector are here to dominate.
"You're the Max Spector." Kingston winks at me. "Valedictorian of his high school class, graduated with a 4.2 GPA from Vanderbilt University, editor in chief of the Harvard Law Review, order of the coif, top ten sexiest single lawyer in New York City..."
"I'd say top three." I can't help but laugh.
"Perhaps, behind me and Remy..." He chuckles while flexing his biceps in a way that would make most people think he’s a douche. "And I'd say Gabe comes before you as well."
"So I'm fourth then." I shrug. "I'll take it."
"So, Mr. Hot Shot, I say you have to hire the first person you meet tomorrow that comes to the job fair HR is holding tomorrow." He grins. "You can't look at age, gender, or experience. If you're so brilliant, any one of them will do."
"Is that it?" I shrug. "Anyone coming to a job fair at a law firm will have the requisite experience. And yes, I can turn any of them into the best assistant the firm has ever seen." I hold my hand out. "You're on. You may as well give me that grand now."
"I think not." He smirks. "They have to last at least a month before you see this cash."
"Are you going to hire the first person you see as well to be your new assistant?"
"No, I'm not crazy or full of myself." He smirks and his smile widens as he looks ahead of us. I turn to see Kitty sashaying back to us with a small tray filled with three glasses of whiskey. There's a thin smile on her lips as she makes eye contact with me and I can see that she’s pulled her top down to expose even more cleavage. I can practically see her nipples. If she thinks that's going to make me want her, she really has never dealt with a man like me. I like the chase. The easier they come, the less I want them.
"So we're on?" Kingston offers his hand and we shake on it. "First applicant you see tomorrow is your new assistant."
"You're on." I lean back into the chair and try not to think of all the work I have to do later tonight. "You'll all be begging me to train your assistants next. Once you see how I can churn out the best assistants in the world."
"From the worst to the best." Remy shakes his head. "Now this I gotta see."
"Trust me when I say, my new assistant will be the envy of the legal community." I take my glass of whiskey and nod my thanks to Kitty before taking a long gulp.
I watch as a group of women to my right start singing and dancing to the pop song that is blasting out of the speaker behind them. They look as if they haven't got a care in the world as they shimmy their behinds and giggle. For a moment, I think about jumping up to go and dance with them, but I stay seated. As I always do.
Unbeknownst to everyone in my life, even Marie, there is a part of me that wants to be a bit more carefree, but that part never comes out. I don't have time to throw caution to the wind. I have a carefully planned trajectory for my life and I cannot let anything upend it.