Chapter Twenty-One
“I’ve always been here.” Ryker placed his hands over mine as I held his face.
He was here. He was real; all of what he just told me was real.
He’d always been there from the start, and I hadn’t even known. He’d read my books, bought my books, and had a whole library dedicated to them. Had them signed. Played all of my games, even my first one. Who was this man, and how had I not seen him sooner than this?
I hadn’t because he hadn’t wanted me to. He kept his distance. He saw me from afar and was there for me without me ever asking him to be. A part of my heart ached knowing that I could have had this man in my life for years, but instead, I didn’t.
Even with all of this new information, I couldn’t help but have a nagging feeling. He’d been at the Gamer Awards.
“When you saw me in New York, you knew who I was.” I pulled away, meeting his eyes. It was a statement, not a question.
“Yes.”
I sat back on my heels, searching his face. “You only ever did award ceremonies in person on special occasions, according to articles.”
“That’s true.” Ryker smiled at me, one of his hands running over the top of my thigh. “It was a special occasion because you also don’t do many award ceremonies.”
“I don’t.” He was right. But why now? Why not sooner so we could be together longer? “But why now?”
“I was ready not to show up, but something snapped in me when my parents told me they were looking to sell the café, and it was announced the awards would be dedicated to you. I no longer wanted to be a fly on the wall in your world. I wanted so badly the chance to see you, meet you, to go as myself, as Ryker, but had no idea how to do it. So, I formed a plan with Beckett so that I could just be me for one night. I had no idea if I’d actually see you, but I wanted the option to let it happen. And it did.”
“It did.” A smile spread across my face at the memory.
That first night played in my head in extreme detail: how Ryker was dressed, the stare he gave me through his mask.
How he looked when the mask came off. Like I was all that mattered, and now knowing all of this, I could see why.
Those moments I’d written into my book, him being my muse, were in fact me being his.
I mattered to someone.
I mattered to him.
We sat together, silence settling between us.
“Is there anything else?” I finally spoke up, unsure if that was everything he had to tell me. It felt like, with the way he was sitting, that he wasn’t quite done yet, but I had no idea what else there could be.
Ryker’s hand stilled on my leg where it had been rubbing back and forth. He looked down at his hand and then back up at me.
“One thing.”
One more thing.
I sat up straight and braced myself—if this was what he was saving for last…
“I said I drained almost every last penny into my gaming setup,” Ryker started. I took a deep breath, and his eyes met mine. “Once I had money steadily coming in from streaming, I started investing the rest of my pennies in you.”
What?
My eyes went wide, and I sat there, not sure how to respond. He invested in me.
“I’ve been backing your games for the past three to four years. Even League of Warlocks.” My mouth fell open at that statement. “I wanted my name to remain out of everything, so it’s under CR Enterprises.”
My palms rubbed against my thighs as I processed what he was saying. Ryker had put money into my games, into my career. Including my new game, which was still in testing.
The realization hit at the name of the company.
“CovertRetriever,” I whispered, my eyes welling again at the thought of what he’d done.
It had been there all along. The large anonymous donor who showed up one day to my team and started providing us money not just to create amazing games, but to upkeep them, and pay everyone a reasonable salary to get amazing content out to gamers.
This man hadn’t just bought my books and gotten them signed.
He essentially made it so I could continue doing what I love in life.
Create worlds for others to get lost in.
“I’ve been working with your team to make sure this is the best game launch you’ve ever had.
I’ve also been a part of the testing and demo team while it’s been worked on.
The team has no idea who I am, as everything is listed under the enterprise.
I’ve tried to help as much as I can without giving it away that I was the one working with them. ”
“Ryker.” This was too much. Supporting me from afar with my books and playing my games was one thing, but investing in me was a whole other level. I had no idea how to repay him, to thank him for all he’s done for not just me but my team over these years.
“Odette.” My name from his lips sent me over the edge.
I felt the tears on my cheek before I even knew they’d spilled over. Ryker’s hand reached out as he wiped them away, but not as fast as they were coming out. I took a deep breath, trying to breathe through the emotions that were filling me.
“Baby,” he said, the word strained, but I could barely see him through the water filling my eyes again. My body was heaving as the next wave came through. This was too much; what he was doing was too much.
I would never have asked him to do any of this.
“I didn’t ask, my love.” I sobered quickly at his comment and looked at him, not realizing that I was probably saying my thoughts out loud. “I wanted to do all of this for you.”
His words hung between us.
I wiped the rest of the tears off my face, drying my hands on my sweater.
This man cared about me, my dreams, and what I wanted out of life, and I never even asked for any of it.
He became part of my life, and I never even knew.
But here he was now, in person, saying that he did all of this, and damn, how good it felt to feel seen, taken care of, without the expectation of anything back.
And there it was. That feeling that I’d felt last night when I talked about Ryker with Jemma. That rapid beating of my heart.
“I think I love you, Ryker.” The words slipped from my mouth, and my hand moved to cover it.
I hadn’t meant to say it, but fuck, I felt it.
Like it was real.
Because right now, it was.
The look on Ryker’s face got serious. Far more so than through the whole conversation we’d just had, or even last night.
“I love you, Odette.”