14. Meghan
FOURTEEN
Meghan
A fter a day and half of shopping, pampering, and pep talks, Monday morning still seems to come around far too quickly.
I’m nervous and almost afraid to go into work this morning.
This is despite Alex getting ready with me, which I guess was to make sure I didn’t revert to my usual ways, and to give me affirmations and pep talks for breakfast.
Today, I’ve opted for a red ruched midi form fitting dress with spaghetti straps—when I say I opted, what I actually mean is Alex chose it for me.
We’ve paired it with Alex’s black Louis Vuitton Lockme Shopper Bag, a pair of five-inch black patent leather court shoes, and an oversized black blazer that I’m not allowed to put my arms in the sleeves of and I’m only to remove when at my desk.
Insert eye roll here .
I’m going to freeze my nipples off, but, according to Alex, fashion comes at a price—that price being no nipples, apparently.
My hair is down with my newly cut bangs parting like curtains and we’ve somehow managed to recreate the blow out I got on Saturday.
I’ve kept my make-up simple, but the new rose-gold creamy eyeshadow we picked up from Saks really makes my eyes pop. A dusting of bronzer and blush across my cheeks make my face look snatched, according to Alex, and accentuates my cheekbones.
We’re packed like sardines on the subway heading into Manhattan when Alex mentions Cooper. I can tell that she’s been thinking of a sensitive way to bring him up, the cogs of her mind clearly turning. With how close we’re stood, it’s been impossible to ignore the sound of her mind whirling.
Should I go back to calling him Mr. Jackson now? I guess I should.
Although I don’t want to talk about our situation, I know I’m going to have to face him soon and that I’ll need all of the encouragement Alex can give me, so indulge her.
“I’m glad you’re looking better than when I came over on Saturday,” she starts off tentatively, side eyeing me as she moves closer for more commuters to board the cart.
“I am. Thank you for taking me out. I needed it. Now that I’ve had time to reflect on it, I know I need to get over this silly crush and move on. Maybe find someone new.” I shrug like it’s no big deal and I’m not still crushing on my boss.
It’s not going to be as easy to get over him as I’m making it out to be.
“Are you sure?” Alex asks, one of her perfectly arched brows raised in question—sometimes I wish she didn’t know me so well. I’m certain she can see through my facade.
“I’m positive,” I reply with a wide grin that I’m sure doesn’t fully reach my eyes.
“Well, you need to remember a few things for today,” Alex states, lifting up her gloved hand as she ticks off her fingers.
“Remember, you are a goddess and it’s his loss.
” Tick . “Stop looking away from him because you’re a Boss Bitch and you should be using your eye contact to intimidate him .
” Tick. “He won’t ever get to have you again.
” Tick. “Own it. So what if you slept with him? You got your needs met and now you can move on.”
“I’ve got this,” I assure her as I take hold of her outstretched hand and squeeze it, letting out a low chuckle.
I don’t know what I’d do without her, because I honestly don’t know if I have got this.
Fake it til you make it, I guess.
We make it to the office in record time, which is just typical. When I’m wanting to drag the commute out or wish for a broken down train, the gods have different plans and get me to work early.
Stepping into the elevator, Alex takes advantage of the busy carriage by whispering words of encouragement in my ear. “Remember to keep your head held high, make eye contact, and don’t let the fucker get to you. You are a Boss Bitch , remember that.”
The elevator arrives at the twentieth floor and Alex steps out, holding the doors open as she turns to convey her message to me through her eyes—ignoring the glares of the passengers still waiting to get to their floors.
Stepping back, she lets the doors close and I drop my head, chanting her words underneath my breath while rubbing my sweaty palms on my thighs.
I’ve got this… right?
It seems to take an eternity to reach the thirtieth floor, but when the doors open, I step out and head to my desk, keeping my head held high as I sashay my way through the office.
Once at my desk, I set my belongings down before removing my jacket and hanging it on the coat stand. Okay, this is going well so far . Grabbing my mug, I make my way to the kitchen—I’m going to need a sugary treat to get through this morning.
I’m feeling good… confident even. With Alex’s words running through my mind, I feel like I’m going to be okay. It’s all going to be okay .
“Are you new?” A deep masculine voice asks. My back is to whoever has asked the question and I finish stirring my coffee before turning around with a smile on my lips.
“Meghan? Wow. Um, you look… good,” Alfie stutters.
I’ve never once considered Alfie as anything more than a colleague. Then again, I’ve been preoccupied with my stupid crush on my boss. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to flirt a little and put myself out there.
“Hey, Alfie. Did you have a good weekend?” I ask in my most sultry voice. It probably sounds creepy instead of sexy, but I’ve got to work with what I’ve got. I flutter my lashes at him, the lick of mascara I put on this morning having exaggerated them.
“Uh, yeah, it was good. I—wow, where—what—what did you do?” Alfie stutters.
Maybe it did sound sexy.
It’s almost comical how flustered he seems to be over my appearance. Tilting my head to the side, I look at him for a second before walking to the doorway he’s stood in, purposefully swaying my hips.
His eyes dart to my breasts before dragging down my body, watching the motion of my hips as I walk toward him.
Coming to a stop just slightly off to the side of him so I can pass by, I reach my arm out and rest it on his bicep.
His eyes flick to my hand before coming up to my face, his breath hitching.
I feel absolutely nothing.
No flutters.
No excitement.
No need.
Nothing.
“Nothing much, just a bit of shopping,” I say breathlessly before squeezing his arm and sliding my hand off of it. Running my tongue over my lips that look plump from the lip-gloss I’ve coated them in causes a flicker of need to light in his eyes.
Still nothing.
My body tenses as I get the sense of being watched, and it’s like every inch of my skin is on fire as it prickles with awareness. My gaze swings across the sea of booths and meets the stormy gaze of Cooper Jackson.
His jaw is clenched, the muscle in his cheek is ticking, and I can practically see the grinding motion of his jaw from my spot in the kitchen doorway. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he looks pissed off.
Why though, I’m not quite sure.
Tilting my head, I sweep my gaze over Cooper’s body before grinning up at Alfie as I say goodbye and sashay back to my desk. A triumphant smirk slips across my lips—maybe I have got this after all.
Suck on that, Cooper Jackson.