16. Meghan
SIXTEEN
Meghan
“ P lease, can we just talk about this?”
I stare at Cooper for a moment, taking in his features, the way his eyes are filled with apology and.
.. regret. Shaking my head, I tentatively make my way to the chairs, taking a seat in the one furthest from him—which was pointless since he steps between the two chairs and sits on the edge of his desk, his legs crossed at his ankles.
God, he’s so sexy—get it together, Meghan.
Today he’s wearing a navy-blue pinstripe suit with a crisp white shirt.
He’s gone without a tie and left the top two buttons open, exposing the thick column of his throat.
Just thinking about licking his neck and leaving little bite marks has my mouth going dry and me wriggling in my seat to ease the ache I feel building.
I’m instantly annoyed at myself for feeling this way toward him after last week. A low throaty chuckle sounds from Cooper, causing my eyes to dart to his.
Dammit, why does he always see right through me?
“I’m not sure what there is to talk about,” I reply, lifting my nose in the air. At my statement he looks away and I can see his jaw clench as if he’s annoyed that I dared to pretend everything is business as usual.
“Meghan,” he warns in frustration, his eyes begging me to defy him and see what happens. The brat in me wants to do just that.
Leaning back in the chair, I fold my arms over my chest, causing my breasts to lift and Cooper’s eyes to drop to them.
It’s not creepy like when Alfie did it in the kitchen or at my desk.
Instead, I feel empowered, like I've got this man's attention and he’s mesmerized by me.
For extra measure, I uncross and recross my legs, eliciting a barely audible moan from him as he shifts position.
“As far as I am concerned, what we’ve been doing should end—just like you said.
Before one of us... how did you put it exactly?
” I press my finger to my chin, pretending to think of what he’d said as if it isn’t playing on repeat in my mind.
“Aha, yes, that’s it. Before one of us forgets it’s only sex .
To be honest, Cooper, I’m not sure when I gave you the impression that I thought it was anything more.
” I tilt my head as I wait for his reaction.
But what he says catches me off guard.
“Is that really what you want? Because if it is, then that’s what we’ll do,” Cooper says, making me wonder what he would say if I asked him to be mine.
No, that’s silly. I don’t want him to be mine. Do I?
We stare into each other’s eyes, each trying to get a read on the other. His are showing me nothing. His face is a mask, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s being sincere. Is he just telling me what he thinks I want to hear so he can get between my legs?
I fear that what I want is written all over my face. The conversation I had with Alex over the weekend comes to mind—I need to stop putting other people before me, and I need to do what I want to do.
Right now, I want to keep doing what I’ve been doing with Cooper.
Well, not exactly that, because that just led to heartache.
With my mind made up, I sit up straighter and utter, “If we do this, we don’t tell anyone.”
For a split second, his eyes flair in surprise before he schools his features and I smirk at the fact I was able to get a reaction out of him. Even if it was only small and he recovered quickly.
He nods as he clears his throat and I take this as my opportunity to put down a few ground rules. Rules are good, rules will help me keep clear boundaries, because he was right; I probably would have forgotten that it was only sex.
I need to not have him treating me as anything more than someone he fucks occasionally. As a friend with benefits .
“I have some more rules, so we’re both on the same page,” I state, looking down at my hands, suddenly nervous to voice them.
“Go ahead,” he responds soothingly, as if sensing my nerves and causing me to lift my gaze to his own. His patience is evident and it gives me the courage to continue.
“Rule number one…” I’m truly flying by the seat of my pants, so I pause as my mind goes over options.
“Well, obviously, rule number one is that we don't tell anyone… and I mean anyone. I won’t tell Alex, and I usually tell her everything.” I pause, waiting for his agreement and take the time to think of the next rule.
“If that’s what you want, then nobody will know,” he agrees with a shrug of his shoulder, as if it’s no big deal. I guess to him it might not be. I mean, for all I know, he’s probably sleeping with half of Manhattan. Okay, that brings me to my next one.
“Rule number two…” I pause, unsure of how he’ll take this one. “Sleeping with anyone else while we are sleeping together isn’t allowed.”
“Agreed,” Cooper responds almost instantly.
It’s my turn to school my features as my brow pulls into a frown. I really did think that would be a deal breaker for him. My romance books have clearly skewed my perception of single billionaires.
“Good. Umm… Rule number three… we can date other people but see rule number two,” I state, thinking his answer will be a quick agreement again.
It’s not like he’s going to want to pin all of his hopes on me.
He’s still going to want to find a woman to marry and have a family with—someone used to fancy parties, penthouses and chauffeur driven cars.
His tone is commanding and I can see his shoulders tensing up as he speaks. “No. Not a chance. If I’m fucking you, you aren’t going on dates and kissing or flirting with other men. It’s just not happening, Meghan.”
“Why not?” I ask, my brow furrowing in confusion as I fold my arms across my chest. He’s supposed to be happy that I’m not expecting him to romance me, not looking like he’s going to hulk out and smash up the room.
“Because you’ll be mine and nobody touches what’s mine,” he growls, his cheek ticks as the annoyance rolls off of him in waves.
“If I can’t date other people, then the same thing goes for you. Are you okay with that?” I ask. A sense of triumph builds inside of me and I roll my lips together to hide my smile.
He probably didn’t consider that he wouldn’t be able to date either.
“I don’t care, you’ll be meeting my most basic needs,” he throws out casually and it stumps me because he’s right. If he doesn’t want marriage and kids, I’ll be giving him the only thing, other than companionship, that he could want or need.
“Fine.” I say, caught off guard. “Let's amend rule three then. If either of us meets someone else we want to date, this ends—effective immediately,” I compromise. I’m not going to put my life on hold for someone that’s essentially going to be a fuck buddy, especially when I’m a romantic at heart.
It’s just asking for more heartache and disaster.
I can’t fall for him .
If I see him as just a means to an orgasmic end then I can walk away when it’s time.
“Agreed,” Cooper breathes, his shoulders visibly relaxing.
“Rule number four… we don’t date. This is just sex. We don’t go out for dinner other than where work requires us to, we don’t see each other socially. If we want to see each other it’s just going to be to itch a scratch.”
“Okay.” He shrugs.
“Rule number five, in order for this not to become public, we should refrain from any intimacy at work.”
“Okay.”
“My last rule is that there will be no sleepovers. No matter how tired you may be, you have to leave afterwards, and I’ll do the same.”
“Fine,” Cooper grumbles, as if it pains him to not be able to hold me at night.
What a ridiculous notion.
He’s probably just thinking about all the morning sex he could have scored. Dammit , now so am I.
I really hope this isn’t a mistake.
“Well, I’m glad we got that sorted. If we think of any more rules, we can reconvene this. I’m going to get the Wilson file. You have some prep time blocked out this afternoon.”
Standing, I head toward the door, feeling his gaze on me as I walk across his office. It should feel creepy, but as with everything Cooper Jackson does, it just makes me feel sexy and wanted.