Chapter 8
Esther checked her phone for the hundredth time. Okay, maybe she hadn’t checked it quite that many times, but it felt like it. She didn’t know why she had expected Fred to text her today – he hadn’t texted her in weeks – but she had still hoped he would.
Maybe it was because he had always sent her an encouraging message on days when he knew she had something big going on. Maybe it was because she wanted to send him a message admitting to how nervous she felt right now.
He’d know what to say to make her feel better, just like he had on Monday when she saw him at The Baked Apple. The day when he had been chatting with Tiffany about some sort of plan they had for lunch. She’d dearly like to know what that was about.
She blew out a breath and peeked at the growing crowd in the gym while whispering a prayer. God help me find some calm.
“If it isn’t the prettiest teacher.” Steve came to stand next to her in the hallway. “Things are good down the hallway from all I saw.”
“Thank you for letting me know that.” At least, she knew that the before show things were going well.
“I’d like to give you a kiss for luck, but…” He looked up and down the hallway. “I know you wouldn’t like that.”
She smiled and then tapped her cheek. “If it’s quick,” she added. She probably shouldn’t allow it, but right now, she needed something – anything – that would help her feel calm. That would prove to her that there was someone who would accept her no matter what the outcome of this concert would be.
He gave her cheek a peck. “How daring of you, Miss Adams,” he teased.
She chuckled. “I’m not feeling quite myself, I guess.” She blew out a slow breath.
“Hey, look at me,” Steve said. “Someone is going to wave and call to their parents. Someone else is going to forget their lines. Another kid is going to break down in tears. That’s how these things go.
We all know it and love our kids even if they are the ones adding the interesting bits to the concerts. ”
She nodded. She knew it was true. This wasn’t her first concert. But... “And what if the teacher in charge faints or throws up?”
“She’s not going to.”
“I wish I could believe that.” She placed a hand on her stomach.
“The kids love you. You’ll be fine.” He tipped his head and studied her. “You know, Maddie gets anxious, too, and I always tell her to focus on helping others and she won’t feel those butterflies in her tummy. There’s always someone who might need us. Maybe that would work for you, too?”
Esther slipped her hand into his and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you for that reminder. This is why you’re such a great guy.” And she meant it. He was a caring man. She had known it even before she met him, just from how his daughter spoke about him.
“Five minutes Miss Adams,” Ms. Michaels, the principal, said as she made her way into the gymnasium. “Mr. White, you’ll want to find a seat.” She gave them both a pointed look that said they could have a private discussion on their own time and not during a school function.
And just like that, Esther’s nerves were taking flight again – though not for the same reason. The staff room whispers would likely increase after this. They were almost as bad as playground gossip.
“I guess if I don’t want to get detention, I should go find a seat as instructed,” Steve said with a laugh.
“And I should go tell the classes to start lining up.”
“Before you run away to do that, Maddie and I are planning to go out for ice cream or pie at the diner afterwards. Will you join us?”
“Sure.”
“There’ll be other parents and children in our group,” he cautioned before she could leave him.
“Oh, okay.”
She understood the implications of his word.
The parent’s circle of “news” would be set ablaze for sure if she showed up to meet him there.
But it couldn’t be helped if she planned to pursue this relationship until she discovered if it was forever or not, now, could it?
Part of her kind of wished that it could.
But another part of her wanted to just know right now if this was her forever or not.
That was the part she needed to listen to.
“Are you still fine with meeting us there?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” And with a full new set of nerves fluttering away inside her, Esther headed toward the upper elementary hallway first to signal that they should begin forming their processional.
It was always safer to have older kids ready and waiting first. They, for the most part, were better at being patient and not overly excited to be part of a concert. Some of the older kids were a problem for exactly the opposite reason. They’d rather be anywhere other than here tonight.
At the door to the hallway, she picked up the boxes of battery-operated candles that the students would carry as they sang their way into the gym.
“It’s time,” she said as she came to the first classroom door. “Do you still have students to hand these out?”
“Davie and Yasser,” Mr. Lively called above the din in his grade six classroom. “It’s time to light up the night.”
The two boys whooped and rushed to the door to get the candles from Esther.
“Carefully,” she said as she gave them the boxes she held. “One per student, and then, leave the boxes on Mr. Lively’s desk.”
“Yes, Miss Adams,” Yasser said. “Come on, Davie. Let’s do this.”
She watched them head down the hall to the next room.
“We’ve got this,” Mr. Lively assured her. “The other hall might be more of an issue.”
He stepped into the hall with her. “There hasn’t been a concert in all the years I have been teaching here that has gone off without a hitch.
And I’ve been here long enough to have taught you.
” His eyes twinkled with good humour, just as they nearly always did.
He had been one of her favourite teachers.
“You’ve got this, Esther. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about how new things make you nervous. Because I haven’t.”
She couldn’t help the smile that sprang to her lips. Mr. Lively had always been the best cheerleader for his students. He still was. “Thanks, Jim.” It still felt weird to call him by his first name. “You know you were one of my favourites.”
He chuckled. “I’d say the same for you, but we all know teachers aren’t supposed to have favourites.” He tipped his head toward the lower elementary wing. “It’s almost time.”
She hurried away from him and peeked in each classroom down her hallway to make sure that everyone was ready.
“Do you have another candle?” Mrs. Belanger asked when Esther peeked into the grade three classroom. “Or a battery? We have one dud.”
“Oh, yes, I have more in my room. Who needs a candle?”
“Jasmine, go with Miss Adams. She has a candle for you, and once you get it, come right back. Okay?”
“Okay, Mrs. Belanger. I can do that.” Jasmine smiled brightly as she slipped her hand into Esther’s. “Miss Adams?”
“Yes.”
“Is it okay if I pray for you?”
Esther sucked in a quick breath. These were not halls where prayer was the norm. In fact, several around the school would frown upon the activity. However, Esther was not one of those. “Um, sure.”
And as they walked, Jasmine prayed, “God, thank you for Miss Adams. Thank you for her gift of music and her willingness to share it with us. Please help us to make her proud. Amen.”
Tears pricked Esther’s eyes. It was such a sweet prayer, and it was an answer to her earlier plea of desperation for calm.
For Jasmine’s soft voice had ushered in a pocket of peace amid the activity surrounding her.
It was as if things slowed, though they hadn’t.
It was just her mind which was more still than it had been.
Gone were the whirling and spinning what-ifs, and in their place was an odd feeling of confidence.
It was as if God had reached down to her through the words of a nine-year-old and whispered, I created you for this.
“Thank you, Jasmine. That was exactly what I needed.”
“I know. God told me.”
“He did?”
She placed her hand on the velvety bodice of her frilly red dress. “Here. In my heart.”
“Wow. That’s so cool.” The frank and bold faith of a child – whether it was in their earthly parents or, in this case, a Heavenly Father – was something to behold. It was humbling.
“Yeah, it is. We’ve been learning about it at church. I think it might be my talent.” She shrugged. “And I want to use my talents for Him.”
Again, it was as if God was speaking to her through this young lady. She was here to use the musical talents God had given her for Him.
“That is a very good thing to want,” Esther assured her. “Wait here. I’ll grab the candle for you. If you come in and your sister sees you, it might be a problem.”
Twenty minutes later, Esther was still feeling that bubble of peace around her heart as the grade four to six students finished their dramatic reading of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.
Several of her students had waved and said hello to parents and grandparents.
One grade two girl had tripped going up the steps to the stage and had needed a bandage for a cut – and a packet of tissues for her tears.
And Esther hadn’t fainted or puked.
In fact, she was beginning to feel successful. All in all, the night was going just how every concert went. She sent a prayer of thanks to heaven and then rose to help her students find their places at the front of the choir for their big carol-sing finale.
When the students were all in place, she gave a nod to the person running the projector, and the words to the first song filled the screen that hung just behind and over the heads of the student choir. Two of the grade six girls came to the microphone.
“Thank you all for coming to our concert,” one of them said. “We hope that we did a good enough job to earn an extra treat in our Christmas stocking.”
The audience laughed as they were supposed to do.
“And thank you to Miss Adams for helping us put this all together,” the same girl continued.
Esther placed a hand on her heart and smiled while blinking back tears.
“Yes,” said the other girl. “Thank you, Miss Adams.”
“You’re welcome,” she mouthed to the girls.
“And, we hope you all…” She made a sweeping motion toward the audience. “… enjoyed this as much as we did. But before we go, we’d like to make sure you’ve had a chance to stir up your own holiday spirit by joining us in a series of winter songs.”
Esther gave them all a smile and two thumbs up. Then, she lifted her hand and when she lowered it, the gymnasium filled with voices joined in song, as David and Yasser were once again handing out candles, so that they could leave as they had come in.
“That was simply marvelous!” Ms. Michaels said later when she had finally made it to Esther’s classroom.
“You have a gift, Miss Adams. One that we will likely exploit at every opportunity. You have been warned.” She laughed.
“I have had so many happy comments from parents. Truly. This was one of our best concerts.”
“Thank you. I’m just relieved that it went as well as it did.” She gathered the few books that hadn’t made it back to the class library shelves.
“So, this thing with you and Mr. White is more than just rumour?” Ms. Michaels leaned against the teacher’s desk while Esther tidied the room.
“It is.”
“He’s a good parent. I don’t know him outside of school, but what I have seen of him at school has been impressive.” She tilted her head. “And he’s handsome.”
Esther felt he cheeks warm. “He is.”
Her principal chuckled. “If I were younger, I’d date him, too.
But I’m about twenty-five years past that as an option.
” She pushed off Esther’s desk. “Enjoy yourself, but remember, there’s a child involved here.
One who is among those we care for.” She had moved to the door.
“Neither you nor I would want any undue drama to cloud the school year.”
“Of course.” What exactly did Ms. Michaels think she and Steve were going to do? Have a knock-down-drag-out argument at school?
“Listen, Esther. You’re not the sort to stir up trouble, but there might be one or two amongst the parents who don’t mind a bit of turbulence.
And I don’t expect Mr. White to be one to air any breakup stories in the drop-off line – should something like that happen.
Just be careful.” She shook her head. “Not that you won’t be. I know you’re cautious. But…”
“You’re just looking out for the school’s best interests,” Esther concluded.
“I am, and that includes your best interests. Don’t forget that.” She gave the room a cursory glance. “All set for winter break?”
“I am. Are you doing anything special?”
Ms. Michaels shook her head. “Not a thing. I am planning to be as lazy as is humanly possible for a full week, and then, I’ll start thinking about the second half of our year.” She kept pace with Esther as they walked down the hallway. “Will you be spending time with your dad?”
“I will be. We always make it a priority to get together at least once during the holidays.”
“Is he still as busy as ever?”
“He is.”
“And is he still helping keep people’s houses cool in the summer and warm in the winter?”
Esther nodded. “He’s actually the head of maintenance at In Season Heating and Cooling now.”
“Oh, good for him.”
They had reached the front door by this point.
“Well, I guess I should go grab my coat from the office before I head out,” Ms. Michaels said. “Have a good time at the diner.”
She laughed when Esther looked at her in surprise.
“Maddie is rather excited that you are joining them. I’m pretty sure EVERYONE knows you’re going to be there.
” She gave Esther a pointed look that told her that this bit of information was what had prompted their discussion in the classroom.
“Tell your dad hi from me when you see him.”
“Will do.” And with that Esther pushed through the double doors of the school entry.
“Some more of that peace would be great right about now,” she said to God as she clicked to start her car while walking towards it. She wasn’t sure that she was ready to be known as the teacher dating Madison’s dad by everyone, but it seemed that cat was well and truly out of the proverbial bag.
After tonight, this relationship would be cemented in place, and a thought that had been circling in her mind landed with a thud. From here forward, if this relationship ended badly, there would be three hearts that would be broken. And one of those would be the heart of a precious little girl.