Chapter 3
3
Ticking off the order on her clipboard, Amber puffed out a sigh. It didn’t seem two minutes since Tyler had helped her uncover the outdoor seating, and she couldn’t believe another year was passing so fast. Summer was upon them, and she’d barely made a dent on her New Year’s resolution to kick this year in the arse. Now, with half the year gone, she was further away than ever. After Bradley had left, she couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t get the look on his face when she asked him the question out of her head. He didn’t even try to hide the answer that was written all over his face. His slumped shoulders. He looked upset, but his words said different. ‘I think I messed all of this up some time ago, Amber. The truth is, I’ve been trying to be the man you met, but I’ve done too much to pull it back. I’m sorry, you deserve better, you really do, but I can’t stop now. I’ve done too much to break away. Everything I have is on the line with the eatery.’ He’d sighed, a flash of pained resignation across his face. ‘I want you to have your dreams, Amber.’ He’d walked over to her, run his hand down her cheek. ‘I just can’t be the man who gives it to you. Not any more.’
So that was that. He’d leaned in, kissed her cheek, and left her standing there clad in a towel with tears streaming down her face. A whole year with a man she’d thought was The One, and he’d just stepped away without a fight. He’d taken all of two seconds to give her the ‘it’s me not you’ speech and click for an Uber. She wanted him to go to the mat for her. He hadn’t even bothered to don gloves. She had her answer. Now, she just had to deal with it.
When she’d finally slipped under her covers, she remembered something Sharon had said earlier that day. About someone loving someone enough to be there. Bradley hadn’t done that, he hadn’t in a while. Sure, he was full of plans but no follow through. It was all just crap, big talk.
She hadn’t even cried since he left. Since the few tears that spilled out when he basically told her he couldn’t change like she wanted. Wouldn’t try. She’d come to a conclusion when she’d woken up that morning. The tears she’d shed hadn’t been from the loss of Bradley; they had come from embarrassment. The shame of putting a man first who everyone around her knew didn’t do the same for her. Shouldn’t she miss him? Want to talk to him, to try to salvage things? She didn’t feel anything but shock. Not at him, but at herself. She had wasted time on a man that would never change. Bradley had shown her who he was again and again. She just hadn’t listened. He was a man who talked the talk and didn’t walk the damn walk. He was a magpie, obsessed with the shiny new thing, until he spied the next enchanting thing to chase. He’d been pulling away for a while, and she had clung to something that wasn’t there in the first place. Because she wanted to have the family, the dream life. Now, she would be seeing in her thirties alone, and no further on than she was the year before.
‘Way to be pathetic, Fitzpatrick,’ she mumbled to herself, just as Tyler appeared.
‘Coffee, madam.’ A reusable cup appeared before her pinched face, and she reached for it like a child would a lollipop. Tyler slid the clipboard out of her hand, glancing at the truck parked by the back doors and the barrel chute.
‘How much left?’ he said with a tip of his head.
‘Too much,’ Amber grumbled, her body uncurling as the hot coffee passed her lips. ‘Thanks Ty. God, I needed that.’
‘I know,’ he quipped, his lips twitching as he eyed her. ‘You’re like Satan’s meaner cousin before your caffeine hits.’
‘Says the John McEnroe of the kitchen.’ She took another sip, smiling as the delicious drink chased away her fatigue.
‘Touché,’ he rumble-laughed back. ‘It’s your fault I’m up anyway. Who texts people at 6a.m.? I’m pretty sure it’s breaking some kind of employer-employee etiquette.’
‘In my defence, I forgot it was early, and I texted Sharon too. I just wanted to get a jump start on work.’ The truth was, she’d been woken by the birds singing through her open window and, not wanting to dwell on her failed relationship, she’d decided to throw herself into work. Mostly to stop herself from texting Brad and telling him what a prize dickhead she thought he was. Hmm, anger as well as shock. I’m flying through the break-up stages of grief pretty fast.
‘Right.’ His tone was laced with scepticism. ‘Well, I’m pretty sure Sharon will have been laid face down in some bloke’s chest at that time or snoring in her pit.’
Amber pursed her lips, but she couldn’t argue with his logic. She was pretty sure he was right. One of the construction workers from the lunchtime crew had started coming in on an evening too and sitting at the bar. Earlier than when the rest of his mates rocked up. Amber just hoped Sharon knew what she was doing. These long-term construction types usually had someone at home waiting for them. Someone like me, probably. ‘Maybe.’ Tyler raised a sarcastic brow her way. ‘Fine. Probably.’ She smirked. ‘I’m pretty sure Sharon only thinks that there’s one six o’clock in existence, and it’s definitely not in the a.m.’
Tyler almost snorted on his coffee. The delivery driver and his mate rolled another barrel past, and he moved the clipboard closer so she could tick it off. ‘Sounds like a Sharonism to me. Why were you texting about the new specials that early, anyway? And why have you changed the lock-box code?’ His face darkened. ‘Wait, did someone try to get in?’ His head snapped up to the windows, as though he was suddenly expecting to see carnage.
‘No, nothing like that. Bradley used it. I didn’t sleep much, and I didn’t want either of you to be locked out. He came to see me late last night. I was in the shower, didn’t hear him coming in ’til he was in the flat. I almost battered him to death with a loofah brush.’
‘Almost?’ he checked. She thought she heard him say something that sounded like, ‘Shame’. Lower, under his breath.
She smiled then, thinking of Brad’s face when she’d run at him wet through and angry. It was pretty funny, now she thought about it. ‘It broke on his body.’ She smirked. ‘Anyway, the long and short of it is we broke up, so I changed the lock-box code. Not that I expect him to come back. It just felt right.’ She felt Ty’s eyes on her, his gaze burning a hole in her cheek. ‘I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s done.’
Tyler rolled his lips, dipped his head into a slow nod. ‘Fair enough. Do you need anything? Can I help, I mean?’
‘Nope,’ she huffed, feeling her shoulders tense up all over again. ‘Like I said, I don’t want to talk about it.’ I haven’t fully processed it myself yet. Maybe that’s it: I’m in shock. Perhaps that’s why I don’t feel anything. Tyler was giving her a look that she registered as concern. Pity maybe? She couldn’t bear it. Bradley might have been the one who did the dumping, but it was her ultimatum that had brought it about .
‘You sure?’ Tyler said softly. ‘You know you can talk to me, Amb. I’ve been there myself, remember.’
She did remember. When he’d first started working at the Slug, he’d told her that he’d been through a bad break-up. One of the reasons he’d moved out of London, though he’d never gone into detail. Just like she didn’t want to now about her recent dumping. It was too fresh, and she couldn’t hear the ‘I told you so’s’. Not yet. She held the pen out, ticking off the boxes of alcopops from the list when he brandished the clipboard her way. ‘Just the bitter now, and we’re done. I can take it from here. You didn’t have to come in this early. Sorry for waking you too. It won’t happen again.’ He didn’t move and, when she turned to him, he was already watching her. ‘What?’
‘You text me at the crack of dawn because you changed the code. I came because I was worried about you.’ He ran a hand over his stubble. He’d obviously missed his shave that morning, and she felt a pang of guilt that she’d ruined his morning over nothing. ‘You sure you’re okay?’ The clench of his jaw was hard to miss. ‘Did you have a fight or something? Do I need to go have a word with Brad?’
‘No,’ she replied a little too quickly, lifting the coffee cup. ‘I’m good, honestly. It was just a talk, and we’re done. No need to protect me, Ty. I’m a big girl. Thanks for checking on me, and for the coffee.’
He huffed in his usual gruff Tyler way before heading indoors. As she ticked the bitter barrels off, she could hear him muttering to himself all the way to the back door.
‘I can hear you, you know! I can read you like a book, Tyler Williams!’
He didn’t stop, didn’t look back. She didn’t miss the way his shoulders rose, though, the way his gait coiled a little. ‘If you could, Amber, we wouldn’t have just had that conversation. In fact, we wouldn’t be having a lot of the conversations we have. ’
She was still trying to figure out what he meant when Ben arrived for his shift. When the deliveries were done, she’d opted for burying herself in filing in the office before opening time, enjoying the peace and the sit down before the rush started. For a little pub, they had a lot of foot fall and a sturdy set of regulars who felt more like family than customers. Sharon walked in, no doubt tipped off by Tyler that she was in a funny mood, and why. One look at her friend’s face, and she knew she was being checked on.
‘You’re early,’ Amber drawled.
‘And you’re observant. How was your night off?’
‘Boring, then pretty eventful. I tried to decapitate Brad with a loofah. He surprised me when I was showering. I thought he was a burglar.’
‘Nice!’ Sharon tittered. ‘Foreplay gets weirder and weirder these days. I take it you didn’t hear him come in.’
‘No, I was in the shower at the time. He used the lock-box key.’ Hmm. Maybe Tyler didn’t spill the beans.
Her eyes narrowed. ‘Why did you change it then? I got your text.’
Amber shrugged. ‘We had a talk. I wasn’t expecting him to show up, so I kind of attacked him half naked.’
‘Promising,’ Sharon giggled.
‘Nope,’ Amber sighed. ‘It got worse from there. I spoke to him about how things have been lately.’
Sharon tutted. ‘I’m guessing from your mood that it didn’t go well. So did he come to talk too, or was it a pure booty call?’
‘Was what a booty call?’ Tyler asked, walking in brandishing some supplier invoices at the perfect wrong moment.
‘Nothing,’ the women said in unison. Tyler’s face darkened, and Amber looked away before she met his searching eyes. Kept her hands busy, taking the invoices from his grasp without meeting his eye. ‘Thanks for these. Kitchen ready? ’
‘Yep.’ When she kept working, he turned his attention to Sharon. ‘When’s your next night off?’
‘Why?’ Sharon fake flirted, batting her lashes at him like a pantomime cow. ‘Going to take me out?’
‘Funny. We have that thing, remember? Details need to be finalised.’
‘I know,’ Sharon trilled. ‘I’ll text you.’
‘Okay, but we need to get on with it.’
Amber focused on the filing cabinet as if it was the most interesting thing in the room, but she could hear them whispering.
‘Get on with what?’ she asked eventually.
The pair of them threw her a shifty look.
‘You two can’t whisper to save your life.’
‘Pretty hard to do, with those big, flappy ears of yours,’ Tyler smirked back. His phone beeped in his pocket. ‘Oops, saved by the bell.’
When he’d sidled off back to his kitchen, Amber turned to Sharon.
‘Spill.’
‘We have the bar to set up.’
Hmm. Now Amber knew something was going on.
‘You never say that, and it’s mostly done. What’s the tea?’
‘No tea. I’ll go finish the bar, but we are going to talk more about the Brad thing.’
‘Sharon! You can’t do that!’
‘Watch me. Bye!’ Her mate practically catapulted out of the door.
‘Nice. Now those two are being extra shifty. Just what I need.’ Shutting the filing cabinet and locking it up, she sat back at her desk. Checking the coast was clear, she brought up her bookmarks on the computer and began reading. She’d had enough weirdness for one morning. Time to have a little daydream about her someday plans before she had to go back to reality. It seemed everyone was getting on with life, and she needed to shake off the bad mood. She only had herself to please now. Nothing to wait for. Procrastination and break-ups didn’t mix. She had her answer on the man in her life. Now she was single, she owed it to herself to get on with it. What she didn’t want to do was listen to everyone whispering behind her back about getting dumped. If she was going to be the talk of Hebblestone, she might as well give them something to talk about that wasn’t Bradley bloody Sloane. The old-new Amber Fitzpatrick was all about living her life to the full and getting what she longed for. If people had an opinion, then she’d be far too happy to care, either way.
Flicking through the tabs she’d bookmarked was a stark reminder of how things had changed in the last twenty-four hours. She went through each one. Bride directory. Deleted. Engagement-party inspiration. Gone. She deleted half a dozen more, until she landed on one that made her pause. Something that she’d been looking into before she and Bradley had had the marriage and baby talk themselves, and she’d shelved the idea. At the time, it had seemed like a last-resort plan, something she’d stumbled upon one day. It had started off innocently enough. She’d been looking for wedding ideas, and the Internet algorithms had worked their magic. Sucked her into parenting websites. From there, it was a downhill slope into everything from sperm donors to tips for single working mothers. From there, it was only a hop, skip and a jump to the IVF clinic she’d saved. Sperm donors sparked in her mind more these days than the perfect wedding dress, that was for sure. After the past few months of being bailed on and playing phone tag with the man who’d once stopped her in front of the jewellers’ window and told her that, when the eatery was opened, the ring would be his next mission. Towards the end, she couldn’t even get a day date with him unless she showed up masquerading as a pot wash at Sloane’s. Well, not any more. It’s just me again. Typing 30 and single into the search engine, she baulked at the depressing reading it made for.
Turning 30? Things to do before you die.
‘What the hell,’ she breathed out in a mutter. ‘Early menopause – how much time do you really have to bag your dream man? Seriously, who writes this shit?’ On a whim, she typed in men turning 30 . ‘Aww nice. How to enjoy your prime years. Daredevil adventures to meet that milestone? Are you frigging kidding me!’ She stabbed at the keys, killing all the pages one by one. ‘I hate the Internet. According to this thing, I’m basically washed up. Thanks Brad, for wasting a year of my egg shelf life!’
So that was it, apparently. She was too late. Research told her that she might as well start waxing her chin and stocking up on retinol supplements. She’d missed the winning-at-life medal, simply by turning another year older and daring not to be settled down in every aspect of her life. If the break-up wasn’t depressing enough, the last half hour of surfing sure did it. Her biological clock was now giving Big Ben a run for its money.
‘I am so getting drunk for my birthday.’
Deleting a pop-up about egg freezing, she noticed an advert.
‘No way,’ she breathed. Clicking on it, she read further. ‘You can get it delivered to your door now?’ She skimmed the legal text but it was legit. A real firm delivering baby batter with your morning pint of milk. Well, not quite. It wasn’t exactly Uber Baby. ‘Interesting.’ She wouldn’t need a man to have a baby this way. It was cheaper, private. Discreet. I could just do it. I have no-one else to answer to. No-one else to think about. I have my savings. IVF is a fortune compared. Even if it takes a few times, this could be it. My chance. I could have a family of my ? —
‘What’s interesting?’ A deep, familiar voice rumbled from behind her.
‘Shit! Tyler, again? You scared me to death!’ She frantically clicked the tabs till her business plan was showing, just as Tyler leaned in to see what she was peering at on the screen.
‘Sorry.’ He laughed, putting a plate down next to her. ‘I brought you some breakfast.’ On the plate was an apple and cherry Danish, still warm from the oven. Amber’s stomach gurgled at the sight of her favourite sweet treat. ‘Glad to see you are back on your game.’
‘Game?’ she said, a mouthful of flaky, fruity deliciousness warping her words as she dived in for a bite. ‘Oh my God, these are even better than normal. You really are a god in the kitchen.’
‘Not just there,’ he retorted, his lips twitching as he watched her eat. ‘It’s nice to see you back at the computer, that’s all. You haven’t talked about your business plan lately. I see they’re still not doing anything with your gran’s old place.’ Phew. He didn’t see what I was researching. Explaining that to Tyler would not go down well. He was the protective bear sort of friend, at least around her. He might think she was losing her mind. It was a little crazy, thinking about it. Having a baby on her own would be beyond hard, but the more she turned it over in her head, the less far-fetched it felt. She was already considering it a year ago, right? It wasn’t some whim. She’d done okay without her parents, right? Sure, she would rather do the whole nuclear family, but maybe she didn’t need the stereotypical make-up. People had babies in all kinds of ways every day. Ty’s mention of the Arms, however, did summon up a stir of fear in her. That place was still the goal. One of the two things she couldn’t live without on her to-do list for life.
‘I know,’ she said between bites of deliciousness. ‘Breaks my heart whenever I pass the place. I just wish I had been in a position to take it on when she got sick.’
‘Well, you were looking after her, and then grieving, and you had this place to run. And with the overheads, it would have been hard, Amb.’
‘I know, my inheritance wouldn’t have covered it.’ It still won’t, even with the years of saving I’ve managed since. ‘ It was just bad timing.’ Her heart panged at her own choice of words. ‘Not that there’s ever a good time for your only remaining family member to pass away.’ She felt some of the cherry juice drip down her chin, and before she could reach for something to stem the flow, Tyler was handing her a napkin. ‘Thanks.’
‘No problem.’ His eyes shone with pride, and something else she couldn’t decipher. ‘You always tear into those things like you’ve never seen food before.’ His eyes crinkled at the corners. ‘In fact, with those panda eyes, you look like a wild racoon today.’
She balled up the napkin and threw it at him. ‘Very funny. It’s your fault; these little babies are addictive. I swear, you could do a mean side hustle as a takeaway bakery.’
‘Yeah, sure the brewery would love me dealing desserts out of the back door like some drug baron.’ He nodded to the screen again. ‘Care to share? I would love to see your ideas. I think I could help too, with the kitchen side of things.’ He threw her a cheeky wink. ‘Come on, you have to show me it sometime.’
‘No doubt you would have a lot to say, Mr Perfectionist.’ She ignored his eye roll. ‘I wanted to kinda go the traditional route, but Brad said no-one wants to eat old-style food any more.’
‘Screw Brad. Old-style food? What does he think you’re going to serve, turnip soup and soda bread? Let me have a quick look.’ He twirled the monitor to face him and her hand reached out to slap him away. ‘Hey! Come on!’
‘No,’ she protested, panicking as she tried to block his view. The company advertising sperm to your door was still bookmarked, and if he saw that, she would have a lot of embarrassed explaining to do. ‘It’s not ready!’ Which wasn’t exactly a lie. Her actual business plan wasn’t finished. She’d stopped working so hard on it when things had got serious with Brad and now she was too fed up to even look at it. ‘It’s also private.’
‘Private, eh?’ Tyler teased. He lunged for the keyboard just as she hit the close button for the browser. Tyler’s eyes bulged, and she stabbed at the power button on the screen. He went rigid at her side. ‘I know what you’re up to you know. You can’t hide things from me.’
‘You know?’ Jesus. He saw it.
‘Yep. Of course I do. You made it pretty obvious.’
‘I did not!’
‘You so did, looking all guilty when I walked in. You kind of gave yourself away. So, how long has this been going on?’ She studied his face, but he just looked oddly amused. Teasing. He can’t know; he wouldn’t be looking at me like that if he did, surely? If she played along, maybe she could test her theory without giving herself away in the process.
‘Nothing is going on,’ she hedged, keeping her voice light. ‘I was just looking, that’s all. People look things up on the Internet all the time; it’s not that radical an idea. I really don’t want people knowing either, Ty.’
‘Oh, I won’t be telling a soul, don’t worry about that.’ He laughed out loud. ‘You are a dark horse. I wouldn’t have pegged you for the type.’
Ouch. That stung . ‘Type?’
‘Yeah, you know. I just figured it wasn’t your thing.’ He shrugged with an ease she didn’t return. ‘It’s fine, it’s not mine either. It’s hardly realistic.’
‘I wouldn’t say that. I was always going to do it at some point.’
‘Do it?’ Tyler’s eyes bulged. ‘Really?’
‘Yeah,’ she bristled. ‘I’ve wanted to forever.’ She folded her arms, the pastry now a distant memory as a bad taste filled her mouth. ‘ You sound as if you think I might be bad at it, but it’s really none of your business. Besides, I was just researching. A little.’
Tyler didn’t answer for a moment, his eyes glazing over. When he spoke, his voice was deeper, almost rasping. ‘I don’t doubt you’d be good, amazing even, but the stuff in those movies is not real life. You don’t need to research like that. I mean,’ he ran his hand down his scruff, swallowing hard. ‘Having a bit of variety is good, but I don’t know. Some of it is just?—’
Hold the phone. What?
‘Movies? What the hell are you talking about, Tyler?’
He nodded to the blank screen. ‘You know, that. You don’t need to change, Amb. Any man who wants you to is an idiot. Is this about Brad? Did he say something to upset you?’ His jaw clenched. ‘Do I need to go have a word?’
‘Tyler, I have no idea what you’re going on about.’
‘I’m just saying.’ He shuffled from one foot to the other. ‘You don’t need to watch that stuff.’
‘Watch what stuff?’
‘Porn!’ He half shouted; his face scrunched up.
‘Porn?’ He didn’t see. He thought I was hiding… porn? She exploded with incredulous laughter. ‘Porn! You think I was looking at…’ His words played on repeat in her head. ‘You think I was looking at porn.’ The relief she felt in her hammering heart soon gave way to horror. ‘Ugh, Tyler! I was not looking at porn. Really?’
Tyler was doing his best impression of a fish out of water. ‘Er… no… well… I thought…’ His brows were like two caterpillars breakdancing as he reprocessed the conversation. ‘Well, it’s doesn’t matter what I thought. Sorry.’
She couldn’t help it. She wanted to be mad at him for thinking she was in her office looking at well-endowed wangs but the look on his face was making it hard. No pun intended .
‘It’s fine.’ She smirked, and when their eyes met again, they both snickered. ‘I can’t believe you thought that.’
Tyler ran a hand through his thick, black hair, sagging against the desk. ‘I am relieved, I’ve got to say. I thought Sloane might have said something to make you feel bad. I dunno. I thought I saw something. My bad.’
She winced. ‘Nope. Our sex life wasn’t what broke us up, Ty. Well, the lack of one maybe featured.’
Tyler’s jaw clenched, but he said nothing.
‘Thanks though.’ She grinned at him. ‘I needed the laugh.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He smirked, those brown eyes of his twinkling before he looked away. ‘Well, I’m glad we got that sorted out. I better get back to the kitchen before I make more of an ass of myself.’
‘I think that’s probably a good idea.’ He was halfway out the door when something he said replayed in her head. ‘Amazing, eh?’
‘What?’
She twirled around on her office chair, and she could swear he was blushing.
‘You said, and I quote, “You’d be good, amazing even.”’
‘Did I?’ He twiddled his hair between two fingers.
‘Yep. You remember? A minute ago, when you thought I was looking for sex tips on the net? You said I didn’t need to watch that stuff.’
‘Er… well…’ He looked away. ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’
‘But you’ve thought about it.’ She was enjoying this, teasing him back. It soothed the barb she’d felt in her chest when she’d thought he was talking about her being a mother. Pushed them back into their usual teasing banter. ‘My amazingness.’
‘I didn’t… er… I haven’t… not thought about it.’ His blush was practically crimson now. Brown eyes flashed to hers. ‘Haven’t you…?’ Shit. She was teasing, but now they were in new territory. What could she say? He was her friend, her best male friend, but he was also sculpted by the gods. The gods that made Vikings, lumberjacks, Norse Gods. The man was fit with a capital F. Add to that his surly, burly ways, the little things he did for her, and… well, a woman would have to be made of stone not to let her mind wander once in a while. She’d have to be dead not to notice him. He was always just there, it seemed. When she was struggling with a barrel, or hangry behind the bar. He’d just materialise from nowhere, fix the problem. Shove food in front of her when everyone else recoiled from her snarling form. If a customer gave her trouble, he was the one who just seemed to appear at her shoulder. One look from him and the problem just… went away. Sharon used to joke he was her bodyguard, until Bradley came into her life. He’d retreated then, but she knew he was always there. Ever watchful, as if he was waiting for her to need him for something. And she kind of did, even though it was in this moment that she was acknowledging that. They’d known each other longer than her relationship had lasted, and having a male best friend was a little weird to some people. Brad had even asked her a couple of times early in their relationship whether they’d ever dated. She’d been mindful of that ever since, and she figured that’s why Tyler had stepped back a little. It was nice to have him close again. Tyler Williams had this way of making her feel calm when her head was spinning.
She’d felt it the first time they’d met, when his deep-set, brown eyes had assessed her with that scowl he often sported on his face. She saw it, even now when he looked at her. His eyes were boring into her as if he wanted to stare the answer right out of her. She willed her face not to flush, remembering all the times she’d glanced more than once at his corded forearms, or at how the flannel shirts he always seemed to wear screamed with tension over his thick biceps. Oh yeah, she’d thought about it, but they were colleagues. If she ever crossed that line, the little things he did might get lost. The pastries full of cherries she loved, the way he always tried to push her to pull the trigger on her life. Before she’d met Brad, she’d thought about asking him to come with her to the Arms. To stay, work with her. But something had always stopped her from getting too close, like that. He was important to her, but she couldn’t say the thoughts she’d had about him were always on a friendship level. He didn’t even do relationships. The last one he’d had in London had wrecked him, from what little she could tell. So he’d become a friend, and one of her favourite people on the planet. Even if she had sometimes wondered what he would do if she ever tried to venture her fingers under that flannel…
Oh God, stop thinking about it now! Answer him! It’s Tyler, Amber. Tyler.
‘Answer the question, Amber.’ His commanding tone skittered her thoughts apart, and she didn’t give herself time to form a sensible answer before she was pushing words out on a slightly shaky breath.
‘I… a couple of times, sure.’ She felt her face redden, her mouth running out ahead of her. ‘Before Brad, I…’ You what, Amber? Wanted to climb him like a wildcat up a tree? Stop talking!
‘You have?’ His brows shot up to his hairline, his lips pressing together as his fists clenched at his sides. ‘In what way, exactly, and when did you?—’
Ben appeared in the doorway behind him. ‘Morning, boss!’ He saw Amber sitting at the desk, slack jawed and mind whirling. ‘Morning, big boss.’ Looking between the two of them with curiosity as they looked at each other as if he wasn’t there. ‘What’s up with you two?’
‘Nothing!’ Amber trilled in a tone far too high pitched, in the same second Tyler growled out a, ‘Leave’ without looking away. Ben’s brows rose and fell comically, his jaw bobbing as he looked from Tyler’s rigid back to Amber’s face. When she dropped her eyes back to Tyler, the look on his face made her stomach flip. The tension was radiating off him, and she knew Ben could sense it too.
‘I’ll er… just… yeah.’ He turned on his heel and headed to the kitchen, and Amber turned back to her desk with a spin that almost sent her careening to the wall behind.
‘I’d better get on?—’
‘Amber.’ His voice was deep, sultry, but she was already out of the moment. Whatever that moment was in the first place. Her palms were sweating, leaving little marks on the leather desk protector in front of her. ‘When?—’
‘Thanks for the pastry, mate. I’ll let you get on.’ She picked up some invoices for something to do with her hands and heard his irritated huff. When she finally looked up, he was still standing there. Watching her. She searched for something to say, but her words were stuck in her throat. She shouldn’t have said anything. Her relationship was barely cold. She didn’t want to lose any people. Not again. Tyler’s eyes roamed her face, and she felt bare before him. Whatever he saw looking back at him made his lips roll together.
He pointed at the screen before her. ‘It’s quiet out front. Use the time to get your stuff done. Worst thing in the world is waiting too long for something. Trust me. I’ll bring you some lunch later.’
She watched him leave, his whole body tensed up like he’d been stung.
‘Thanks,’ she called after him, but all she heard in response was the door to the kitchen slamming shut. ‘Shit,’ she sighed. She’d gone and done it now. Dropping the invoices back onto the pile, she brought the computer screen back to life. Why did I say that? She’d never meant to say anything to Tyler, but his reaction had stunned her. Did she imagine it? Had he been thinking about her that way? No. No way. It was Tyler; he didn’t date. He didn’t bother with women full stop. Sharon and her had teased him about it, tried to set him up. The guy wasn’t bothered. He was making a joke, and she’d blurted out that she’d thought about him. That way. The poor guy was shell shocked. That was all. The moment they’d imagined was in her head. The way he’d growled at Ben to leave, though. It didn’t make sense… unless. He was embarrassed. Oh Christ, I’ve embarrassed him. She’d been dumped less than twelve hours ago, and now he thought she was some desperate, porn-watching, horny singleton. He was covering for her because he’d thought Ben had heard their conversation. Her cheeks heated as she replayed it in her head.
‘Oh God,’ she groaned, leaning her head on the desk. ‘I’m such an idiot.’