Chapter Eleven #4
I guess if I’m doing this, then I’m really doing this. I’ve got to get used to these new sexual dynam—
“Wait, who were you calling doofy!”
“Don’t worry, it’s a compliment. It’s so exhausting being with someone who has to be perfect all the time.
Seven years, and that doofy seduction dance was the first time you’ve ever really made me laugh.
” Micah’s phone went off. He scooted out from behind me, picking up the phone as he winked and said, “Even with vomit on your pants, you had never been hotter.”
If I thought I was speechless before, it was nothing compared to the silence that just struck me dumb.
“Where’s Lily?” I heard Rhodes ask.
“Taking a bath,” said Alex.
“I’ll go check on her. Make sure she’s not playing swamp monster again.”
By the time I caught my breath, and my mortification, I realized Alex and I were alone—and there was something I needed to say to him.
“Alex?” I closed the distance, not stopping until the island stopped me. “Can you put the knife down? There’s something I need to say to you.”
“There’s nothing you have to say that I need to hear.”
“Wrong, bitch!”
Alex almost cut his finger off. “Excuse me?” he blared, knife shooting away. “What did you just—”
“You heard me!” I rounded the island—coming at him so fast he backed up into the fridge.
“I’m getting real fucking sick of your attitude, Montgomery.
I messed up, I know that. It wasn’t right for me to say one thing, and then do another.
But co-parenting is hard for every parent—even the ones who get along.
“If you don’t want me to do something with Nari, you need to talk to me and explain why. Don’t just bark orders at me, and then treat me like a monster for using my own judgment instead of blindly following yours.” The words shot from my mouth one after the other—pelting Alexander from all sides.
Even more wonderful than that... I was actually making sense.
“I completely understand your caution with Nari after she was grabbed by that piece of shit, but you need to hear me when I say that I love that kid,” I shouted at him.
Yes, shouted. I was on a roll and couldn’t seem to slow down or lower my voice.
“I love her, and I would never willingly or knowingly put her in danger.
“Courtney is my best friend. I trust her with my life and I trust her with Lily, but if you don’t, why don’t you stop being an ass for two seconds and just meet her! Get to know her and Taylor, and give Lily a chance to make a friend who isn’t her teacher!”
“Sue—”
“And another fucking thing,” I screeched, slapping the fridge door just to the right of his wide eyes.
“How flip flipping fucking dare you lock me outside with a bear! A bear, Alex! What kind of vindictive psychopath does something like that, and then turns around and acts like I’m the dangerous one!
” I shoved my face in his, swallowing his eyes in my narrowed ones.
“If you ever do anything like that to me again, you’re going to wish that car crash finished me off, because I’ll never stop coming for you, bitch! ”
A growl ripped from his throat. “What? Is that supposed to scare me? Is that supposed to be a threat?” He knocked his forehead against mine, shoving me back with his head alone. “I already fucking wish that car crash finished you off!”
“No, you wish you weren’t a lonely, pathetic, unemployed bitch baby with a shriveled-up, unsucked dick!”
“No more than you wish you weren’t a shit-peddling failure that the internet chewed up and spat out!
I’m lonely and pathetic? Ha!” he barked, making me jump.
“You’re the one with no friends, no job, no husbands, and no life!
The only one who can stand you is our kid, and even that biological imperative is wearing off fast!
Not even your own mother wants you around!
” Spittle showered my face. “Lord fucking knows why you’re hanging around until she croaks, because if my mother told me I was a worthless leech and her worst mistake that many times in a five-minute conversation, the only thing I’d be sticking around to do is piss on her grave! ”
“Make sure you pull down your pants and squat for that piss, bitch boy, otherwise that little guy will never reach!”
His face turned a dangerous puce. “You’re so fucking—! Argggggh!!!”
I blew back, then returned his bellow with my own. “Ahhhhh!”
Footsteps thundered down the stairs. Micah and Rhodes burst into the kitchen.
“What the fuck?!”
“What’s going on!”
“I’m done with him!” “I’m done with her!” we shouted at the same time.
“Can you be done with each other a little fucking quieter!” Rhodes blared. “Lily can hear you!”
That silenced me better than anything else could.
Alex and I flung away from each other, glaring at opposite corners of the kitchen.
“Look, guys.” Resignation laced Micah’s voice. “If you can’t get along for Lily’s sake, then—”
Sue’s phone went off, cutting off whatever Micah was going to say. I answered it rather than listen to another word about that asshole.
“Hello?”
“Good evening,” a light, cheery voice replied. “Am I speaking to Mrs. Kim?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“This is Christie Baudelaire, owner of Baudelaire Blasts and Celebrations.” I never understood calling a voice chirpy until I heard hers. “I’m calling to confirm our nine o’clock on Sunday morning?”
“Nine o’clock?” I repeated, my galloping heart still pounding on a heady cocktail of rage and adrenaline. “I’m sorry, what is this in reference to?”
She giggled. “Your wedding anniversary party, of course. In two weeks,” she added when I didn’t say anything.
“I am very excited, Mrs. Kim, as I’m sure you are.
No expense has been spared—just as you requested.
I’ve flown in five crates of Conti Grand Cru wine.
The linens are hand-spun silk. The aerialists arrive next week, and your dress— Ah!
” she screamed. “Your dress! Mrs. Kim, it is a work of art.
“Now, as you know, I need to get my crew into your lovely house with not a minute’s delay. They need to begin setting up the ballroom, double-checking the integrity of the beams, and of course, your final fitting!” She squealed again, clearly crushing on this dress hard. “So, can we confirm for—”
“No,” I sliced in. “There’s not going to be a party. This marriage ain’t anything worth celebrating. Cancel it. Cancel it all.”
“But— But, Mrs. Kim,” she cried. “I beg of you to reconsider. The invitations have gone out and several outstanding bills are still to be paid. Not to mention the refundable deposits you won’t get back, on top of the last-minute cancellation fee.
If you cancel now, you’ll have spent over sixteen million with nothing to show for—”
“Sixteen million who now?!” I shrieked. “Tell me that’s won. Please, tell me that’s sixteen million won and not dollars!”
“Um, Mrs. Kim... I don’t understand—”
The phone disappeared from my grip.
“Hello?” Alex said. “Hello, Christie, it’s me, Mr. Montgomery. Yes... No, ma’am, we’re not canceling.” He laughed a light, buoyant laugh that didn’t match the glower directed at me. “My wife was just kidding, you know she has a dark sense of humor.
“We absolutely want to celebrate seven wonderful and loving years together,” he said, his eyes pinning me to the spot. “We wouldn’t cancel this party for the world.”
Christie’s relief poured out of the speakers.
“Sunday at nine o’clock,” he confirmed. “Actually, come at eight if you want. We will be here.”
Click.
Ending the call, Alex took my hand and placed the cell on my shaking palm.
I looked from it, to Alex, to a silent Micah and Rhodes.
“I... I don’t get it. You just got done telling me how much you hate me,” I said to Alex, “and how much you two are only interested in me for my blowjobs,” I threw at Rhodes and Micah.
“So why would you want to throw a lavish and obscenely expensive party to celebrate a marriage that’s dead? ”
Alex looked in my eyes, and smirked. “Dead? It’s not dead yet, baby.”
“Hell no,” Micah breezed. “The old girl’s still got some kick in her.”
“That’s right,” Rhodes threw in, sharing a grin with his fellow brother-husbands that stood my neck hairs on end. “Can’t tap out before they call T.O.D. That would be wrong.”
“But when it is dead,” Alex whispered, his smile widening as he turned away. “That’ll really be something to celebrate. I promise you, my dear wife, that’s going to be the party you care about.”
My lips parted—I thought to ask what they meant, but they were gone before I found the words.