Chapter 14
Lexi
G rowing up, I never thought of myself as lucky.
In fact, I felt pretty sorry for myself a lot of the time—no family or real home, no best friends, not even a guarantee that I’d have a winter coat or rain boots when I needed them.
Now it seemed like the universe had decided to settle up with me.
That all the years I spent uncertain and lonely were the dues I paid to get to where I was now.
It sounded dismissive of my unhappy childhood to say it all seemed worth it from where I was standing, but it was the truth.
Sometimes, you appreciated things more because you never dreamed you could have them.
I figured it’s like if you grew up really poor and finally saved enough from your first job to make the down payment on a car.
Like, you grew up riding the bus or walking and a car wasn’t something you were used to having—it was something that your richer, luckier friends had.
But then you get one, and it’s not just a convenience, it’s like your own personal miracle.
That’s what Rafe and Leo were to me, my miracle.
So when Leo suggested we exchange rings, I thought it was sweet. A nice gesture, but one I didn’t really need. Still, when he said Pedro had the rings ready, I picked up a cake from the grocery store, and a bottle of sparkling wine just so we could celebrate, make it an occasion.
I kind of hoped no one read a poem or anything.
Because I loved the idea of the commitment, but I felt a little bit like Leo was making a big deal out of this for my benefit, like I needed a ceremony or a secret handshake to make me feel like I was part of the family.
I knew it deep down already. They’d kept vigil at my bedside.
They’d taken me to depositions and doctor’s appointments and taught me what it was to be supported and nurtured and wanted, really, deeply wanted.
The acceptance they’d shown me was unlike anything I’d ever known.
It came with a bone-deep trust I had in Leo and Rafe.
I could be vulnerable with them and silly with them and cuss a blue streak over Call of Duty with them.
So the rings were kind of an afterthought for me, a formality on top of all the more meaningful parts of the relationship we’d formed together.
When I got home, I showered and changed.
I felt the need to put on a dress. Not a wedding gown or something stupid, but a sundress with little yellow flowers on it.
I put the cake out on a nice plate and set the table with it in the middle.
I wondered whether I should put a candle on it, or three candles like one for each of us.
I decided candles were overkill. I wondered if I was fussing too much, but Rafe came in with flowers. They were pink roses, a dozen of them.
“Wow. Here, I’ll get a vase,” I said.
“I had the stems wrapped. I didn’t know if you wanted to, I don’t know, hold them or something.”
He shrugged, looking a little sheepish that he’d tried to buy me a bridal bouquet.
I smiled, touched by the thought, and kissed his cheek.
Then I got a jar to put them in and set to work cutting the ends off the stems. When I was done, I went to find him.
He came out of his room in jeans and a button-down white shirt, looking as dressed up as I’d ever seen him and handsome.
I held out a pink rosebud to him, “I trimmed it so you could wear it. Like, you know, a boutonniere,” I said shyly. He took it and thanked me. Then we both looked around and couldn’t find a pin or anything to stick it on his shirt with.
“Do you have a jacket? Like a suit jacket? That would have a buttonhole for it.”
“Nope. But I can find some way to stick it on here. Do you have one for Leo?”
“Yeah, I think the flowers are beautiful. I guess I’m getting excited. Is that dumb?”
“Excited to spend your life with us? No, I think that’s how you’re supposed to feel. It’s how I feel about it,” Rafe said.
I felt myself relax a little. It wasn’t weird to them that I was so happy, so enthusiastic about it.
The flowers weren’t too much. My feelings and my hope weren’t too much for Rafe and Leo.
I wasn’t going to be rejected or met with scorn.
No one was going to laugh into their sleeve because I wanted them to wear a flower or that I put on a dress or made a big deal out of things.
It was humbling to feel so accepted, to know deep down that they were never going to reject me or send me away when I’d had a life of nothing but that, a life of trying so hard to be perfect just to win approval, just to persuade someone, anyone to let me stay.
Leo came out of his room in a full-on suit like he was going to Sunday school. His hair was slicked back. He looked so dressed up and so handsome. I couldn’t help but smile .
“I didn’t even know you were home!” I said.
“Hell yeah. I took off half a day so I could get ready,” Leo said, “I ain’t half-assing this. You’re getting the whole ass.”
Leo grinned, his brash humor making me run to him and hug him. We all laughed, because he really was hilarious, but it was the warmth, the connection we all shared that really melted my heart.
“So I thought we’d stand over here by the window because it faces west and, you know, sunset,” Leo said.
“Really? I thought we’d go on the deck out back,” Rafe said.
I bit my lip. They’d both really thought about this. They took it seriously. Both of them looked at me.
“So, it looks like you’re the tiebreaker. Where do you want to have this?” Rafe said.
I shrugged, “I’m happy with either place. Whatever works for you.”
“Okay, traditional method of decision making deployed,” Leo said, his face solemn.
I had a fleeting idea they might be about to beat the shit out of each other in some ritual tiebreaker from their teen years. I didn’t know if I should intervene and make the decision to prevent bloodshed or if interfering would just annoy them. I waited for a second to see what they’d do.
“Fine,” Rafe sighed heavily, “Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!”
I watched, dumbfounded, as the two hottest alpha males I’d ever known reverted to a playground contest to decide the location of our commitment ceremony.
“Shit!” Leo said. “You always win.”
“Don’t you dare call me a cheater. We’re going to the deck,” Rafe said, “And never forget: Paper covers rock. ”
I snorted, failing to contain my laughter. I couldn’t help thinking no one could have ever had this much fun at a regular wedding. I gave my hand to Leo, took the arm Rafe offered and walked out to the deck. It was pretty, the golden sunset light bathing everything in a soft glow.
“Before we begin,” Leo said. “I have brought a gift for us all to share.”
“If this is some creepy dildo you saw on an infomercial, just know you are not sticking it anywhere near me,” Rafe grumbled as I stifled a giggle.
“No, it’s much better than that. It is a selfie stick,” Leo said.
He was serious. He pulled a selfie stick out of his suit pocket and brandished it like a weapon.
He attached it to his phone, held it at arm’s length, and we pressed our cheeks together, smiling partly because it was so silly.
He took probably twenty pictures before we insisted that he stop and put it away.
“I’m going to have a canvas of one of them—like an 18x20 so we can just relive this moment larger than life,” Leo said.
“I’ll give you a hundred dollars cash right now if you promise to keep it down to an 8x10,” Rafe said.
“No way. Size matters, no matter what the ladies tell you to make you feel better,” he teased.
I elbowed Leo, and he knocked it off.
“I want to start,” I said.
They both nodded. I took their hands in mine and swallowed hard.
“I never thought I’d be lucky enough to find one person to love, who would love me back.
So it’s unbelievable, magical to me that the two of you wanted me to move in with you and asked me to stay.
I can never thank you enough for the family you’ve given me, the acceptance and just the novelty of being wanted here and cared for. ”
“Baby, you know we love you,” Rafe said.
“Yeah, Mr. Paper Covers Rock here is right,” Leo said. “Neither of us ever wants to imagine life without you. We belong together.”
“I know that now. And I never imagined how much it would mean to me to do this, to take time to stand here facing you and tell you exactly how I feel. You’ve saved my life in more ways than you could ever know.
I love you both so much. More than anything,” I said, blinking back hot tears. One tear trickled down my cheek.
“You have made me feel so safe and so cherished. I can never find the words to tell you how much I love you,” I said to them. “So if I can have the rings?”
I released Leo’s hand and held mine out, palm up to receive the two rings for the men.
Leo reached in his pocket and took out a little velvet drawstring bag.
He emptied the contents into my palm. Light as a feather, they fell into my hand.
Three bands, each woven of three strands of metal—a copper, a gold, and a silver thread braided and twined to make a circle both delicate and strong.
I was strangely moved by the sight. By the three identical rings that were so beautiful and so perfectly matched.
I was overwhelmed. I heard a strange, squeaky noise and realized too late that it was my breath, inhaling on a sob and catching in my throat.
I pressed my lips together, squeezed my eyes shut.
It was all too much and too beautiful. I let go of Rafe’s hand and picked up the first of the larger rings.
I kissed it and slipped it on to Leo’s ring finger.