Chapter 4
FOUR
“Please tell me you’re not going to another club. Aren’t you getting too old for that scene?”
I chuckled as my sister’s voice rang out through the speakers of my car. Mari’s comments were familiar territory by now. Even though I was the older one by three years, my baby sister had always been the worrier of our family, desperate to solve everyone’s problems.
Chaos echoed behind her, children’s laughter and screams filling the hotel suite we were sharing for the weekend.
Not only did she bring her wife and my five nieces to watch me play, but they’d graciously offered to watch some of the other kids tonight so the players and their wives could celebrate a little longer.
As much as I loved my extended family, I sent out a silent prayer that they’d all be in bed by the time I came back.
Even though we had separate bedrooms, after a full day playing ball, I needed the rest, and the girls always woke up at the crack of dawn.
“No, Mari,” I answered as I hit the blinker, turning into the bar’s parking lot. “Just grabbing a quick drink with the guys. You don’t have to worry about your brother’s virtue here.”
“Ha!” Mari barked through the phone. “I’m under no illusions about your so-called virtue. That ship sailed a long time ago.”
I shook my head as I scanned the lot, trying to find a spot where my rental car wouldn’t get dinged. Exhaustion draped over me, my muscles aching after a long day on the field, but a bunch of the other guys had wanted to go out tonight, and I was a team player at my core.
Even though we only had a week break for the all-star game, I missed my teammates.
We spent almost all our time together, especially now that I’d been the captain for over a year.
The Hawks got together at least once a week for a team meal, and we spent a lot of time hanging out after the games as well.
Our families were so intermeshed, they’d all practically merged into one larger one—the Erie City Hawks family.
But here in Dallas, I only had a couple of the other guys from my team with me.
The league sent three of us this year, and I was beyond grateful they’d picked our third baseman, Parker Drobrek, and our new short-stop, Cam Seda.
Not only were they solid players, but they were also two of my closest friends, making the trip even more exciting.
“When are you going to meet a nice girl?” my sister asked, her voice tinged with disappointment. “Your nieces are dying for some cousins to play with. I met the sweetest woman in the stands today—”
“We’ve had this conversation a million times, Mari. Not gonna think about that until I retire.” I turned off the ignition and pulled the phone to my ear as I walked toward the bar. “Besides, I’ve already got my hands full with your crew. You guys are all I need.”
Mari ticked her tongue in agreement, even though she’d never admit it.
When she first married her wife, Angie, she said she wanted a large family.
Ten years later, they had five girls, their house a blur of chaos and love.
But as much as I loved visiting them, I couldn’t handle that right now, not on top of the team, all our away games, and trying to manage my sponsorship deals.
“And we love you too, D, but it’s not the same. What happens if you get hurt? I don’t want to see you alone just because you’re too focused on baseball.”
I paused, closing my eyes as I measured my next words.
Mari might have been there for the end of my last relationship, but she’d only seen what I wanted to show her.
She hadn’t experienced the fights, the guilt, all the things that fucked up my game more than I wanted to admit.
I’d tried like hell to make things work with Talia, but in the end, she still walked away, leaving my ring on the counter as she started a new life—one without baseball and constant travel and the fear of being moved to a new city at a moment’s notice.
A life without me.
After that, I’d sworn off relationships, not needing to go through that ever again.
“Mari, I promise, I’m fine,” I said. “Stop worrying about me.”
“Never gonna happen, big brother.” Something loud crashed in the background, and Mari swore under her breath. “The twins are terrorizing the villagers again. I gotta go. Love you.”
I clicked off the call, heading across the gravel parking lot into the bar’s front entrance.
Mari’s words flashed through my mind, but I shrugged them off.
Ever since Talia left four years ago, professional baseball had been my entire world, and it would stay that way until they dragged me off the field.
Too many people never got this chance, dreaming of playing under the lights until time or their bodies failed them.
I wasn’t about to squander this gift because my sister was worried about me.
When I pushed open the door to the bar, the air shifted.
All the patrons by the door turned, eyes widening as they took me in.
I’d been in the league long enough to be recognizable, especially after my years on the New York City Rebels.
Even though the Hawks had a smaller following, most major fans recognized me even off the field. Most of the time, it didn’t faze me.
But on nights like tonight, after spending a week playing nice with the press and spending time with all the fans, I was done. I just wanted to share a beer with my buddies, and their stares seemed invasive, like people wanted to cut out a piece of me.
A hand jutted out from the crowd, and I smiled, finding my teammates waiting at the bar.
It had been a long week, and we were ready to head back home.
At least the stress of the trade window was over.
Baseball teams constantly fluctuated, so the stress always mounted when it was open.
Luckily, while most of the Hawks survived the window, only a few of the guys running out of chances.
Before I left the stadium, I’d called the ones who’d been sent back down to the minors to make sure they were okay. Cam offered to stay behind with me, but I refused. As team captain, this was my burden to bear. Besides—he’d just gotten engaged and deserved to celebrate with his girl.
While I loved being team captain, some days, the weight of that responsibility felt like a thousand pounds on my shoulders.
It brought back painful memories, like this time last year, when our second baseman, Jace, got sent back to the minors.
After mentoring him for months, it killed me to watch Jace clear out his locker.
He’d been trying to outrun his demons since the day he’d walked onto the field, and they’d finally caught up with him.
At least the change seemed to benefit him.
He was thriving up in Maine, and there was talks about bringing him back to the pros.
But as much as I wanted that for him, the last time we spoke, he still had some issues handling the pressure.
I owed him a trip up to Portland, but right now, I had too much to do with the team, especially with playoffs coming up.
Shit, I needed a beer.
As I leaned against the dark wooden bar, Cam clapped my shoulder. “Hey man, how’re you feeling?”
“Like shit.” I raised my hand to the bartender, asking for the same beer as the rest of the guys. “Feels like I let the guys down.”
Cam shook his head. “You did everything you could, cap. They know it, and so do the rest of us. Hopefully, they’ll be back next season.”
I hoped so too, but I pushed the thought out of my mind, instead focusing on the group surrounding me.
The low pulse of a country song wailed through the speakers, and the air smelled of stale beer and popcorn.
It was a far cry from my usual haunts, but when the rest of the guys picked the place, I refused to complain.
Besides, Mari was right. I needed a break from the club scene.
I loved the atmosphere—getting caught up in the rush of dancing and lust in the air—but the last week had been exhausting, and my body needed rest, not another distraction.
My phone chirped in my pocket, and I smiled, seeing my five nieces’ faces smiling back at me. A message sat in the middle of the screen in all capital letters.
MARI
FAMILY DINNER WHEN WE GET BACK. NO EXCUSES.
I chuckled as I replied with a thumbs-up. My little sister was relentless. Hopefully, she wouldn’t bring another surprise guest like she had for the last few dinners, all available women, whom she sat right next to me.
For a moment, the idea of settling down crashed through my mind.
What would that even look like? The game would only last so long—I had only a few more seasons left before my body broke down.
This season, it was already getting harder to shake off the muscle fatigue and pain.
My right knee throbbed after every game, and my joints stiffened when I climbed out of bed each morning.
Shit, I was already maxing out on sessions with the team’s physical therapist. Maybe Mari was right, and I should think about retirement.
Fuck that. No way I’d leave my team anytime soon. We had too many games to play, and I had at least one more championship in me.
“Ah, shit,” Cam chuckled, turning around with a wide grin.
It didn’t take a genius to see where his attention had drifted.
His brand new fiancée, Hadley, had made an impromptu dance floor in the middle of the crowded bar, screaming the words of a classic song at the top of her lungs.
He turned over his shoulder, glaring at the bartender.
“Dude, I thought I warned you about the tequila.”
He just shrugged. “She tips better than you.”
Cam shook his head but didn’t hide his smile. He was so gone for his girl, it wasn’t even funny. “Your funeral. Next, she’s going to be up on the bar.”
I smirked as I sipped my beer. “You going to stop that?”
“Nope,” Cam said. “She’s having fun. I’ll intervene if any fucker tries to touch her, but Hadley can handle herself.”
Heart beams practically shot out of his eyeballs; he couldn’t look away as Hadley winked over her shoulder. I might have had my reservations about mixing relationships with baseball, but they were living proof it could work.
“Still can’t believe she said yes,” he muttered, smirking as he took another pull from his beer.
I clinked the top of my bottle with his. “Not surprised at all, Cam. That girl loves the hell out of you. Good thing she hasn’t realized she can do so much better than your cranky ass.”
Cam shook his head. “Don’t I know it.”
I laughed at his words, letting my eyes scan over the rest of the crowd.
Okay, a distraction for the night might not be the worst thing.
I might be determined to stay single for the foreseeable future, but that didn't mean I had to spend all my time alone. After all, what was the point of keeping my body in peak condition if I couldn’t use it occasionally?
Although lately, my one-night conquests had left me wanting. It probably sounded cocky, but I’d never had a problem finding someone for the evening. The issue was finding someone I wanted to stick around when the sun rose.
God, I sounded just as pathetic as Cam. I loved my life, loved all the perks of my career choice. The women, the money, the lifestyle—all of it was a bonus. I already got to spend my days playing the game I loved, which was more than most guys got to say. And now, being at the top of the pack?
It was a damn good feeling.
A couple of women snuck past our group, staring at us like predators assessing their prey.
The joke was on them; I played the game as well as the rest, but there was nothing meek about me.
After a decade in the league, I could sniff out a jersey chaser from a mile away, the ones who saw the dollars attached to our contracts and got gold bars in their eyes.
Another reason to keep that single box checked.
If I couldn’t tell a person’s intentions, I kept them as far away as possible.
But when a long-legged brunette peeked back over her shoulder, nodding toward the bathroom, an easy grin formed on my face. Okay, not a great idea, but I was only a man, and there was nothing like a quickie in a bar bathroom to take the tension out of my bones.
I downed the rest of my beer and followed, but my steps faltered when I took in the new additions to Hadley’s dance party.
Two of the women, I knew well—frequent guests in the outfield.
Ollie was Parker’s best friend, and all the guys on the team knew better than to mess with her.
As Parker’s girl, she was strictly off-limits.
Not because the dumbass had said anything about having feelings for her—he was too far in denial for that shit—but Parker was my friend, and Ollie was his everything, even if she couldn’t see it.
None of us would ever hurt our teammate like that.
The other woman was Cam’s ex, recently married to a movie star. Another in the no column.
As I moved past them, my mind was singularly focused on the sexy brunette waiting for me by the bathroom—until someone collided with my chest, small, petite hands grasping my shirt like it was a lifeline.
Hazel eyes widened as they looked up to meet mine, surprise coloring her cheeks.
Brianna.
My fists clenched at the sight of her, trying to ignore the pull in my chest. It had been over a year since we’d stood in the same space, yet it was still there, daring me to get closer to her.
Since the field day at her school, she’d become a regular member of our outfield gang, but I never let myself get too close, not with that wedding ring sitting on her finger.
I glanced down at her hands, still planted against my shirt.
No ring. Interesting. Her fingers toyed with the lines of my jacket, as if she needed the support to stay standing, and I took a moment to study her up close.
Brianna had cut her hair since the last time I saw her; now, it only dusted the tips of her shoulders.
It was sexier, edgier than it’d been before, and seemed to suit her.
When Brianna realized what she was doing, she pushed against me, giving us some much-needed space. My body still thrummed from her touch, and it was way too tempting to reach back out to her.
“God, I am so sorry,” she said, covering her face with her fingers. Her bare fingers. “I knew shots were a bad idea. Please ignore me while I go crawl in a hole and die.”
“Nah, Brianna, nothing to be sorry about.”
Her brow furrowed. “How do you know my name?”
I smirked, leaning in closer. “Am I that forgettable, Mrs. Collier?”