Chapter 20
TWENTY
Most team dinners played out the same: shit-talking, drinks, and more food than we’d ever need.
We’d spend hours around the table, some of us standing and others seated around the room.
Either way, we were all together, sharing tales of our start in baseball, the universal link that tied us together.
When we first started, only four or five guys showed up, mostly out-of-towners who had nowhere else to be that night.
But over time, it expanded, and now, we were running out of room in all our homes.
Drobrek’s was the largest, with an open concept that allowed for pockets of people to gather in different areas yet stay together.
It made it the simple choice when we had to decide where to go.
Plus, he loved having everyone over. The man lived to host parties, especially when it was our entire team taking up his space.
Tonight, there were more people than we’d ever had before. Almost every member of the team showed up, as well as many of the members of the front office. Russ, the team’s manager, sat in one corner, talking quietly with Melanie. Even Weber came, although he left as soon as they cleared the plates.
And most surprisingly?
Brianna stood only five feet from me, looking all too beautiful with her casual outfit, her hair slung back in a braid.
Pieces of it stuck out, the shorter strands not contained by the band.
For a moment, her hazel eyes met mine, but she shot them back down, returning her attention to one of the rookies, our new second baseman, Banfield.
My jaw tensed. It wasn’t like I had anything against the guy, but right now, I could have smashed my fist through his face and felt zero regrets.
Shit. What the fuck was happening to me?
I wasn’t a jealous guy. I never cared enough to be jealous.
But for some reason, Brianna had crawled under my skin, and I hated the idea of her giving her attention to anyone else.
I wanted to earn her soft smile, wanted to cause the sweet blush that filled her cheeks, wanted to be the man she sought when she walked into a crowd, knowing my eyes were always going to be searching for her.
As I downed the rest of my drink, someone nudged their elbow into my side. I glanced down to find Ollie smirking at me, a large margarita in a sippy cup clutched in her hands. “You’ve got a crush…” she sing-songed.
I rolled my eyes. “Ol, I’m almost forty. I’m way too fucking old for a crush.”
“Call it what you want,” she mused, “but you’ve hardly taken your eyes off Bri all night. Why don’t you go talk to her?”
I shook my head. “She’s not interested. Bri hasn’t said two words to me since she got here. Not gonna mess up her night any more than I already have.”
“Brianna doesn’t know what she wants.” Ollie shook her head and lowered her voice so only I could hear it.
“She’s spent too long on the sidelines, letting people forget her worth.
If you want anything more to happen between you two, you’re going to have to make the next move.
Show up for her. Show her she means something to you. ”
I lifted my gaze, finding Brianna’s eyes fixed on me now.
She ducked away again as soon as we connected, but I could see something reflecting at me: the same need, the same longing I was sure was etched into my features like a brand.
My feet longed to take a step, to close the distance between us, but something unfamiliar stopped me.
Changing the subject, I tapped the bottom of her cup. “I see Parker hasn’t forgiven you for ruining his new rug.”
Ollie rolled her eyes. “You spill one glass of wine, and suddenly, you’re barred from any open containers.” She took a long pull from the squiggly straw. “It’s fine. Drobrek might think he’s won, but I’m always going to get him back.”
“Where is your guy anyway? He’s been running around all night, and I want to thank him for hosting again.”
“Oh, he’s already getting all the thanks he needs.
” She nodded to where Parker was chatting up one of the front office assistants.
I wracked my brain for her name but came up short, only recognizing her because she’d set her sights on our third baseman early in the season.
Parker said something, and she swung her head back, laughing a little too loudly to be genuine.
Ollie scoffed, just as loudly. “He seems like he’s doing just fine over there without me. ”
“Maybe because the person he really wants doesn’t seem to have any interest.”
Ollie shot a glare in my direction. “Don’t start with me, D. We’re just friends and everyone knows it.”
Not even close. In fact, Ollie and Parker were the only ones who believed that lie. But even after questions from almost everyone on our team, they both failed to see the spark—the lingering search for more.
She whacked her hand against my chest. “Besides, this isn’t about me. You’re the one walking around like a kicked puppy. Seriously, go talk to Brianna.”
My jaw ticked, annoyed at her pushiness. “Why do you care so much, Ol? If Brianna doesn’t want to talk to me, I’m not going to force my way in.”
Ollie’s face softened, looking more vulnerable than I’d ever seen her before.
“Brianna is the best person I know. She’s been through a lot, and I hate that she let it cloud her perspective.
She deserves someone who is going to see her, the real her, and not be afraid to put in the work.
” Ollie nudged my side again. “And you might be that guy. Plus, I really hate her ex-husband, and I get immense joy imagining his face when he finds out you two are an item.” She took another sip of her drink.
“Think about it, D. If you two are good with leaving well enough alone, then ignore me, but I’d never be able to live with myself if I didn’t try. ”
I chuckled. “For someone who hates unsolicited advice, you sure love to dish it out.”
“All part of my charm.”
Ollie winked, and then someone else called her. She walked away after squeezing my arm, leaving the unspoken implications in her wake. But before I could think too deeply about it, I was on the move, ready to find the person who’d occupied my thoughts all night.
When I found Brianna, she was standing on Parker’s back deck, staring off into the night.
With summer in full swing, humidity still clung to the air, making it thick and sluggish.
Or it might have been the tension ricocheting through my bones.
I almost turned back around when Brianna peeked over her shoulder, shaking her head. “Should’ve known you’d find me.”
“Hiding from me, Bri?” I asked, taking the spot next to her.
“Not exactly,” she breathed. “Just trying to navigate how to be around you after everything.”
“I know the feeling,” I answered. A quip sat on the tip of my tongue, but I bit it back, enjoying the silence between us.
There was nothing awkward about it, even with the strange situation we’d found ourselves in.
In the past, there was always a line between the women I slept with and the rest of my world, but with Brianna, all of them had blurred, making her a consistent presence.
In the past, it would have bothered me. Instead, tonight, I soaked up her companionship, letting the subtle floral scent of her perfume override my other senses.
“I always thought I’d want to live out here,” Brianna said. Her voice was quiet, more to herself than to me. “But now that I’ve been in the city for a little while, I miss the noise—the constant hum of people.”
I nodded as I shifted my gaze, watching her bright eyes as she stared up at the sky.
While she stayed fascinated by all the stars circling us, she transfixed me, consumed by the peace written on her face.
She sighed, closing her eyes tightly. “Do you ever wonder if there is some pre-determined plan? Or if we’re all just winging it? ”
“Not sure,” I said gruffly, forcing my eyes away from her. “I like to think there’s some higher purpose, that we’re all working toward our end goal, but I’ve always believed our choices define us—that how we decide to live our lives matters more than any higher calling.”
“I like that,” Brianna smiled. As she opened her eyes, she turned back toward me. “You were watching me in the kitchen, while I was talking to August.”
“Yeah,” I admitted, not bothering to hide it with a convenient lie.
“Why?”
I ran my hand over my face. “Because you were smiling at him, not the wide smile you do when you’re uncomfortable but the slight one when you find someone funny.”
Brianna furrowed her brow. “You didn’t like me smiling at someone else?”
I reached out, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Not for the reason you’re worried about, angel.
I don’t care if you want to talk to anyone else.
We both know you’re too strong to be kept down.
But I didn’t like that I couldn’t talk to you, couldn’t show all the guys how much you mean to me.
” I grinned at her. “And yeah, I didn’t like Banfield shooting his shot with you. ”
Brianna shook her head. “He tried flirting with me, but I shut it down.”
“Why, Bri?”
“Besides the fact that he’s almost a decade younger than me?” She leaned forward, pressing her hands to my chest. “There’s this other Hawks player I can’t get out of my head.” Brianna sucked in a slow breath as her hazel eyes shone with vulnerability. “And I might not want to.”
I reached down, pulling her closer, eliminating the space that had been there all night.
Once Brianna stood cradled against my chest, that unease slid out of me, and I took the first full breath of the evening.
“I don’t want you to either, and if you can’t tell, I’ve been thinking about you nonstop, Bri.
I want more than a couple of stolen nights with you. ”
“So where does that leave us?” Brianna asked.
“We should explore this,” I answered. “Stop putting a timeline on our time together and just enjoy ourselves.” Brianna chewed on the corner of her lip, and I reached up, tugging it free. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I meant what I said—I’m not ready for a relationship. But something casual, I might…I might want to try that.”
The word casual sliced a wound through my pride, but I swallowed it down.
content for the piece of Brianna I had right now.
Ollie’s earlier words came back to haunt me, reminding me Brianna needed time and space to feel safe.
And right now, this was all she could handle.
If I wanted more with her, I had to let her set the pace.
“I’m good with that, Bri, but I have a couple stipulations.”
“Like what?”
“No one else.” Brianna tensed in my arms, but I continued. “I’ll agree to anything else, but if we’re going to do this, I want your word it's only us.”
“But what if you—”
I reached up, pressing my thumb to her lower lip. “Don’t even finish that sentence, angel. There has been no one else since that night in Dallas, and even more—I don’t want there to be. If you haven’t noticed yet, you’re more than enough for me. I’m not looking for anyone else.”
Brianna’s eyes searched mine before slowly nodding. “Okay. But you have to promise me if you find someone else, you’ll tell me.” I started to respond, but she silenced me with a shake of her head. “I mean it, Damien. The minute you want this to end, you tell me. No secrets, no lies.”
“Deal.” I leaned forward, running my fingers along her cheek. “Any other rules?”
“Just sex,” Brianna blurted. “We can use each other for pleasure until we decide to call it quits. No feelings. No jealousy. No one can know but us.”
I chuckled and nodded toward the house. “Ollie already knows.”
“She might, but I’m not about to give her any details.”
“Fine by me,” I said. “So are we really doing this?”
Brianna nodded, a wide smile forming on her lips. “Yeah, pretty sure we are.”
As soon as the words left her lips, I took her hand, tugging her back into the house and into one of the guest bathrooms. When the door locked behind us, Brianna paused, a question written in her eyes.
I stepped closer, dragging the tips of my fingers along the curve of her neck.
“Angel, you forgot you showed me part of your list. Don’t think I didn’t notice public sex on it. We’re crossing that one off right now.”
“We are?” she squeaked.
“Oh fuck yes,” I groaned. ”You’ve been teasing me with that delicious body all night. I’m not waiting another minute until I get to claim you again.”