Chapter Twenty-Three
Mei awoke the next morning feeling well rested for the first time in months.
She side-eyed her laptop, then snuggled tighter in her blankets.
Screw Livin. She relished the highlight reel of yesterday’s hike playing through her mind.
On the trail back, she and Alexandre had helped each other across muddy patches more than they needed to.
Mei could still feel the steadiness of his hands, the delicious energy flowing between them.
At the breakfast buffet, Mei surveyed the array of American and Japanese options. She filled a bowl with rice, tamagoyaki, and a piece of salted salmon, then plated a waffle and fruit. She found Alexandre at a table on the patio.
He greeted her with a hug. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did. You’ll be proud of me, too. I didn’t work last night or this morning.”
“That’s huge! I didn’t, either, and I’m not going to for the rest of the trip. You’ve got my full attention.”
Mei’s cheeks warmed. She pulled a stern face. “Good, because you need to captain our ship.”
Alexandre laughed. “If you say so.”
They were going kayaking. Mei had never kayaked before. She wasn’t a strong swimmer, either. Still, she knew she’d be safe with Alexandre, even though he’d only kayaked a few times. Mei ate a bite of her waffle.
“That looks good,” Alexandre said. “I’m going to get one.”
Mei watched him walk to the buffet. Yes, if she was ever going ocean kayaking, it would be with him.
She imagined kayaking with Joey—him belly flopping onto the boat, sending them both flying into the water.
Joey’s adoring eyes and lopsided smile floated into her mind.
For the first time since their last, awful conversation, instead of guilt, shame, or anger, Mei felt a hint of fondness. The beginning of closure.
Mei peeked over her shoulder. Alexandre was walking back, carrying a waffle topped with bananas and macadamia nuts. The sight of him quelled her runaway emotions.
· · ·
They set off in their rental Prius. The winding Pali Highway took them through the green Ko‘olau Mountains, until they reached the windward side of the island.
At the water sports outfitter, Mei and Alexandre picked up their kayak, a long, flat red plastic boat on wheels.
Alexandre removed his sweatshirt and placed it in their dry bag.
Mei was disappointed that he had on a long-sleeve UV shirt, though she liked how the thin material accentuated his shoulders.
She felt Alexandre’s appreciative gaze as she pulled off her own sweatshirt, revealing her yellow bikini top.
They wheeled the kayak to the launch point on Kailua Beach, stopping to admire the view. Soft white sand sloped into the bay. The clear, flat water shimmered in the morning sun.
Alexandre gave Mei a quick paddling tutorial, then held the boat steady in waist-deep water. Mei hopped onto the front seat. Alexandre jumped in behind her and passed her a paddle. “You set the pace. I’ll match your strokes and steer.”
The paddle felt heavy and awkward in Mei’s hands. Her strokes were choppy, but she soon got the hang of it. From the ease with which they cut through the water, Mei could tell they were paddling in unison. She looked back and did a double take.
“We’ve gone pretty far!” Kailua Beach was already receding into the distance.
They paddled past green hills, palm trees, and low waterfront homes. The shoreline transformed into another expanse of white sand.
“So that’s Ka‘ōhao Beach,” Mei said. Ali, Luc, and Kaia were meeting them there that afternoon.
“We can either land on the beach and hang out there, or paddle toward those islands.” In the distance, two small, rocky islands, Nā Mokulua, rose from the sea.
“Let’s keep going.”
When they neared the islands, Alexandre gasped. “There’s a turtle! Right in front of us. I just saw its head.”
Mei set down her paddle. They watched in silence. Gentle waves rocked the kayak back and forth. Just as Mei was about to suggest they continue, a turtle’s speckled head popped above the water, its glossy shell visible below the surface.
“It’s beautiful,” Mei breathed. “And so graceful. Kaia said that honu is the name for Hawaiian green sea turtles.”
They bobbed along, exclaiming in whispers every time the turtle resurfaced. Once it swam out of sight, they turned the kayak around and paddled to the beach. Mei sat down in the shade of a palm tree. A moment later, Alexandre joined her, bearing trail mix and water.
As she munched on the dried fruit and nuts, Mei realized she was on the most spectacular beach she’d ever seen. Her toes dug into the powdery white sand. The breeze rustled the palm fronds overhead.
She pointed to the two islets in the distance. “I can’t believe how far we went.”
“And we saw a honu!”
What a gift. In front of her, the sky met the ocean in a dazzling blue tableau.
Mei’s heart ached at the beauty, even as anger flared at herself.
“This trip is making me realize what a big, beautiful world this is. And how I’ve let my life become so small.
All I do is wake up, work, and go to bed. Every single day.”
Alexandre was quiet for a moment. “You weren’t always like that, right? What was your life like before Livin?”
Now Mei was silent. “It’s sad, but I need to think about it.
” How did she fill her days before Livin?
One thought came to her. “I used to cook. Not just dinner every night, which I never do now, but elaborate recipes like dumplings. Or croissants. Or pies with fancy crusts. Whenever there were holidays—” Mei’s mind flashed to Thanksgiving.
She took a breath, forcing herself to continue, “I was the one volunteering to bring something special. Like for your welcome home party, I probably would’ve made an icebox cake with ginger thins, homemade whipped cream, and berries.
And a chocolate mousse. And lemon bars.”
Alexandre eyed their dry bag. “You’re making me wish I’d packed some pastries.
” He turned back to her. “I actually have a major sweet tooth. I’m a pretty good cook, but I never learned many desserts.
Maybe when we’re back in New York, we could do dinner.
I’ll bring the savory and you bring the sweet. I make a mean roasted chicken.”
Was Alexandre just being polite with his vague invitation? Or was he proposing a pseudo date with an easy out in case she wasn’t ready or interested? Either way, Mei’s cheeks tinged pink at the idea of a future dinner with Alexandre. “That sounds like a plan.”
A content smile appeared on his face, sending a little thrill through Mei.
“I’m learning so much about you,” Alexandre said. “What else did you do?”
Mei picked up a stray palm frond. “I used to run. I’d do half-marathons and 10Ks to stay motivated.”
Alexandre looked intrigued. “You never mentioned that.”
“It’s been a while.” She’d run her last half-marathon in Brooklyn two months before starting at Livin. These days, she never made it to the gym.
“Want to run a race together this spring?”
Mei sipped her water. “I’d need time to train. I’m out of shape.”
That mischievous smile pulled at Alexandre’s lips. He arched an eyebrow. “I don’t know. You look pretty good to me.”
Attraction flowed from his gaze. His hazel eyes gleamed as they roamed her bare skin.
The bright morning sun highlighted the strands of gray near his temples.
Mei had a sudden urge to brush the sweat off his fine nose, to lean in and taste the salt on his lips.
She bumped her arm against his. “You’re not so bad yourself. ”
Alexandre laughed, then shifted so their shoulders touched. The heat from his body pulsed through her. She could say more. So much more. But not yet.
Instead, she rested her head against Alexandre’s arm. He leaned into her. Together, they sat in comfortable silence, relishing each other’s warmth.
· · ·
Back in her hotel room, Mei settled onto a plush easy chair with her phone. For the past few months, she’d pushed off Kathy’s invitations to chat. Now that she was on vacation, they’d set a time to talk.
A video call chimed. Mei clicked the answer button. “Kathy!”
“Mei!” Her best friend looked just as excited to see her. “How are you doing?”
“It’s been a rough few months, but I’m feeling a little better every day. I’m actually in Hawai‘i. That’s helping.”
“Amazing! How is it?”
“Just incredible.” Mei told Kathy about the stunning beaches and landscapes she’d seen while kayaking and hiking.
“You’re with Ali and Luc? And Kaia? She did all that?”
“They’re in Hawai‘i, but I went hiking and kayaking with Alexandre, Luc’s brother. He’s here, too.” Thank goodness her tan hid the flush rising to her cheeks.
“Oh right! I remember him from the bachelorette. He was really sweet.”
“He is.”
“I’m so glad you’re having a good time. You’re looking more like yourself.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know. Just happier. Less stressed.”
Mei’s smile faltered. Kathy’s words made her wonder. “Did I not seem like that with Joey?”
Kathy frowned. “You did the first time I met him, but not at the bachelor/bachelorette. You seemed kind of on edge around him.”
Mei hung her head. “What a disaster.”
“It’s okay! At the end of the day, Joey wasn’t right for you.
He wasn’t a bad guy. He just had some growing up to do.
I didn’t see that before the bachelor/bachelorette, but I’m glad I did.
I’m glad you did, too. It might not feel like it, but you saved both of you a lot of misery by breaking up with him when you did. ”
Mei let her best friend’s words sink in. She nodded.
“Have you thought about dating again?”
Her morning with Alexandre flashed through her mind. “No. Not yet.”
“Maybe you should.” The corners of Kathy’s mouth curved up. “I mean, you’re in Hawai‘i with Alexandre. He’s cute and smart and seems like your type.”
Mei tried to contain her smile. Of course her best friend picked up on that. “It feels kind of soon.”
“Do you still have feelings for Joey?”
Mei fiddled with a loose thread on her shorts. “No. Thinking about him makes me sad, but I definitely don’t want to be with him.”
“That’s okay. It’s fine to move on.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure how I feel about Alexandre. What if it all goes wrong again? Instead of just ruining our lives, I’ll also put Ali, Luc, and Kaia in the middle. I need to be a thousand percent sure.”
Kathy was quiet. “Remember when we chatted and you asked me how I was sure about Luis? And I said, ‘When it’s right, you just know it.’ At the time, you said you felt that way about Joey. I don’t think you were being completely honest, though.”
Mei looked away.
“Not to make you feel bad!” Kathy hurried to add.
“You weren’t being honest with yourself.
And maybe you’re not being honest now. Do you really not know how you feel about Alexandre?
You’re not just using Ali and Luc as an excuse because you’re scared of starting a new relationship?
Or punishing yourself for Joey? Because you don’t need to. You did nothing wrong.”
“Maybe.” Kathy might be right. It was all too much to consider, though. “I should get going. I’m meeting everyone for dinner soon.”
“Enjoy the rest of your trip! I want to hear more when you get back. And, Mei?” Kathy looked at her intently. “When you know, you know.”