Chapter Thirty-Nine
As if on autopilot, Mei woke up her laptop. Around her, people did the same. Nearly everyone on board was a colleague en route to Livin Forum.
Mei stared at the script she’d written for her presentation. She, James, and Erika had rehearsed and revised it several times. Mei just had to incorporate their edits into the final version, but her brain refused to work.
Alexandre was going to get the North Dakota job. And take it. Was there any point in pursuing a future with him?
She’d fallen for Alexandre the biology professor, who strove to help his students and had an active life outside of work.
If she were being completely honest, Mei didn’t know how she’d feel about Alexandre the research scientist. Mei couldn’t see him taking the job without falling back into his old ways.
With the pressure of tenure track, could Alexandre sustain a long-distance relationship?
If she visited him in North Dakota—or moved there—would he spend time with her?
Mei envisioned herself waiting around for hours while he crammed in as much lab time as possible.
He’d always be preoccupied with work.
Just like she was.
Mei inhaled shakily. She scrolled through her presentation.
Her title, “Onward and Upward,” had a double meaning: Livin’s marketing team would continue to push the boundaries—even in the wake of the layoffs.
First, James would highlight the marketing team’s recent wins.
Then Erika would get the crowd pumped about the latest campaign.
She’d welcome Mei, who’d speak about the holiday pop-ups, building projections, and drone art, as images, press clips, and social media posts appeared on the big screens.
Then Mei would introduce the brand refresh with the inclusive imagery.
She’d close the presentation by unveiling their new brand campaign hype video, which featured a soaring pop track and a montage of Livin members and locations from around the world.
I’ll finally get my moment in the spotlight. But what have I sacrificed for it?
Mei clicked on the goals tracker. Her workload was hilarious. Even if she worked every second of every day, her March numbers were impossible.
The flight map on her seat-back screen showed they were approaching the Midwest. Mei spotted North Dakota, making her eyes tear up. So much for their pact.
With a deep breath, she refocused on her laptop. Still, one question nagged Mei all the way to California: If she hadn’t been so consumed with Livin, would Alexandre be in North Dakota?
· · ·
The hazy Los Angeles sunshine and rangy palm trees were a welcome change from New York’s gray winter, but they didn’t help Mei’s mood.
She faked a smile while making small talk at the roof deck happy hour she’d planned for the marketing team.
Everywhere she looked, she saw loss. No Ayanna.
No Kaden, Bryce, or Tamiko. No texts or funny photos from Alexandre.
I chose this, Mei thought numbly. This was my decision.
Early the next morning, all nine thousand Livin employees filled the LA Convention Center’s stadium-sized auditorium.
Excited chatter rippled through the space, though Mei couldn’t help but think of the missing three thousand employees who had just been laid off over email.
As strobe lights flashed and electronic music played, Julian loped onto the massive stage.
As usual, his golden mane flowed and his green eyes glowed.
The yellow T-shirt under his expensive sport coat read “Livin Proof.”
“My friends. My Livin family.” Julian lifted his face to the crowd. “Welcome to Livin Forum! Who’s ready for a good time?”
Mei clapped along. Good time. Sure.
Onstage, Julian solemnly opined about how Livin employees had the unique power to help people fulfill their destinies. He bowed his head in reverence. His voice caught. He wiped away a tear.
Mei heard sniffles around her. Usually, she was reaching for tissues, too. Not this time. Was the man before her really a visionary? Or was he an actor? A con man? A billionaire laughing all the way to the bank?
For the rest of the morning, Mei allowed herself to see the hypocrisy she’d tried to will away: The all-white, all-male speakers talking about inclusion and belonging.
The overflowing trash cans, despite the vegan menus.
The exorbitance of flying in nine thousand people from around the world after laying off three thousand employees.
Kaden’s words rang through her mind. I can’t keep looking the other way here.
That evening, Mei stood on that giant stage as she, James, and Erika ran through their presentation. She blinked under the spotlights and tried to summon the feeling of all eyes on her, the roar of nine thousand people clapping and cheering.
The tech team played her campaign video. The uplifting music made her shiver. The sight of her work—the hard-won vision she’d crafted over the last year—on the colossal screens filled her with a strange mix of satisfaction and sadness.
At least I’ll have this, Mei thought, a lump rising in her throat.
· · ·
At six thirty on Thursday morning, Mei awoke to a string of texts from Erika.
Can you meet me now at the coffee shop downstairs? It’s urgent.
Mei threw on a sweatshirt and frantically brushed her teeth. When she reached the lobby café, she spotted Erika waving from a table.
“What’s this all about?” At least Erika didn’t have bad news. Her manager gleefully bounced in her seat. Somehow, even at this early hour, her hair was perfectly blown out.
“So I’m making a small change to our presentation. You’ve got to see this.” Erika thrust her laptop at Mei and hit play on a video.
A cool bass pulsed from the speakers. Words flashed on the screen: “Would you rather be LIVIN? Or DYIN?”
Mei pressed her lips together. Did they really need to evoke death?
On-screen, the video flashed through a series of contrasts.
Livin. A radiant blonde moving into a colorful Livin apartment.
Dyin. An overweight woman eating dinner in a drab kitchen.
Livin. A sunlit couple embracing outside a rustic cabin.
Dyin. A bespectacled Asian man bathed in the blue light of a computer.
Livin. A vibrant group of twenty-somethings toasting cocktails in a sleek lounge.
Dyin. An overworked Black woman sighing in her cubicle while her laughing coworkers file out around her.
A smooth voice asked: “You only have one life. Would you rather be LIVIN? Or DYIN? We thought so.”
The screen cut to black.
Mei blinked at the laptop.
“What do you think?” Across the table, Erika beamed at her.
“What is that?”
“Our new campaign video that we’re going to unveil during our presentation!”
“When did you make this? And how? Did our agency do it? Why didn’t you tell me?” Erika knew campaigns were her remit and that she managed their creative agency.
Erika laughed. “So this was a top-secret project I pitched to James. Remember how I said we could use AI to replace the people we laid off? This was a test. I worked with a generative AI agency to see if their technology could create a brand video as good as or better than humans at a fraction of the time and cost. If so, we’d feature it at Livin Forum to show where we’re headed as a department.
And we will! Onward and upward, right? I love the video and so does James. ”
Mei stared at her boss. “Yeah, the production value is high. But it’s not in line with our updated brand or our inclusive marketing standards.”
“How can you say that? We worked off the new style guide. The video has lots of diverse people!”
“All the ‘diverse people’ are in the Dyin parts! Everyone in the Livin parts was white, straight, young, and stick thin, except for that token Black model. There are also so many stereotypes.”
“Like what?” Erika looked genuinely confused.
“Like a sad larger woman eating a double cheeseburger. And a nerdy Asian guy alone on his computer. And a Black woman who has to work twice as hard as her coworkers—all while implying their lives aren’t worth living.”
Erika frowned. “I hear what you’re saying, but I think you’re reading too much into it. I don’t think your average person would feel that way.”
“I disagree. Can your agency cut a new version? Especially since they did it at a fraction of the time and cost?”
“No. Julian has already approved this. James and I rewrote our script and gave the video to the tech team. It’s all ready to go.”
An incredulous huff escaped Mei’s lips.
“It’ll be fine, Mei.” Erika softened, even as her voice remained firm. “Look, I know I kind of sprung this on you. But didn’t I tell you that if you stuck with me, I’d take you to the top? You’ll still be onstage at Livin Forum. Your first time, right?”
Mei nodded begrudgingly.
“What did I say when I started?” Erika continued. “We know what kind of people run this place. What kind of men. We smart women need to stick together. This is my first Livin Forum, too. I need to make a strong impression. I have your back. Now I need to know that you have mine.”
Despite the nausea rising in Mei’s throat, she nodded again.
“So we’re good to go with this video? I promise to loop you in earlier next time.”
Mei hesitated. “Yes.” Her voice sounded far away, even to her.
“Perfect.” Erika smiled. “I’ll see you backstage.”
· · ·
“You’ve got gorgeous tresses,” said the stylist in the hair and makeup room. She finger-combed Mei’s locks and reached for a curling iron.
“Thanks,” Mei mumbled. Her stomach roiled with dread. Disappointment. Shame.
As if sensing her emotions, the hairstylist clucked with concern. “Are the nerves getting to you?”
“A little.”
In less than an hour, she’d be onstage when Erika unveiled that campaign video.
In doing so, she’d be endorsing a shoddy video filled with stereotypes and microaggressions, negating all the work she’d done to make Livin a more inclusive company.
She’d be supporting AI as a replacement for her former teammates—her talented, creative, human teammates.
And she’d be aligning herself with Julian, James, and Erika in a very public way.
Maybe it was good that Ayanna, Kaden, Bryce, and Tamiko weren’t there to witness it.
The stylist gave Mei’s hair a satisfied fluff. A makeup artist took her place and examined Mei’s complexion.
Mei peeked at Erika, one chair over. Her boss’s eyes were closed, a relaxed little smile on her face as another makeup artist brushed eyeshadow on her lids.
She’s a snake. She’ll be charming to your face, then undercut you when you’re not around.
Now Ayanna’s words made sense. For all of Erika’s talk about supporting other women, she had no problem stepping on Mei when she needed to.
Out of nowhere, Mei heard Alexandre’s words from months ago. Don’t you think you’re worthy of more? Of a job that’s not a treadmill to death? With leaders who respect you?
Tears sprang to her eyes.
“Sorry! Is the eyeliner bothering you?” the makeup artist asked.
“No, I’m okay.” Mei reached for a tissue and carefully dabbed her eyes.
“Let me touch you up.” He reapplied the eyeliner and mascara, then stepped aside. “You’re all set.”
Mei stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders in shiny waves. Liquid eyeliner and smokey eyeshadow gave her a fierce look. She was the picture of a boss lady. A leader. She looked as polished and confident as Erika always did.
“You like?” the makeup artist asked, clearly pleased with her reaction.
She raised her chin. “I love it.”
“Go get ’em, sis.”
Mei flashed him a grateful smile. She strode out of the room, heart pounding, head high.
She found James and Erika in the green room. They both did a double take when she entered.
“Mei! You look amazing!” Erika said.
James lifted an eyebrow. “Nice shirt.”
Mei fingered the lace trim on her navy blouse. It was the one she’d worn to go out to dinner with Alexandre the first time he visited her in New York. She squared her shoulders. “I need to talk to you two—”
“James Smith, Erika Fairchild, and Mei Li, come with me. You’re on in five,” a stage manager called.
James and Erika walked toward the door. Mei hesitated. Had she missed her chance? She drew a breath, then hurried after them.
From the wings, Mei glimpsed Julian onstage. His amplified voice filled the space “…our community is the heart and soul of Livin. That’s why we lead with empathy and act with integrity. Everything we do is in service of building trust with our members—and one another.”
James nodded along coolly. Erika clasped her hands with a little shimmy.
Mei stared out at Julian. Then she faced her managers. “I’m not going on.”
Erika’s mouth fell open. “What?”
Beside her, James rolled his eyes.
“I’m not presenting. That video goes against everything I believe in and everything I’ve worked for. I don’t want to be onstage when you show it.”
Erika gaped at her. “I don’t know what to say. Did I not give you this opportunity? I’m planning to promote you. Don’t you want that VP title? More money? It’s all coming your way.”
Money. Mei froze. Could she stick it out a few more months? Just suck it up and present that damn video?
James leveled a cold gaze at her. “If you refuse to go on, think about what message you’re sending to the execs. Sure, Erika and I can present without you. But if you walk away from this, you can kiss any future at this company goodbye.”
Thundering applause rang out. Julian had concluded his speech.
“And now,” he announced from the center of the stage, “let’s hear from our marketing team! They’re about to show us the extraordinary heights we’re soaring to this year. Onward and upward!”
“Mei.” Erika grabbed her arm. “Why are you doing this? I thought we were in this together. What more could you possibly want?”
A company that’s not a treadmill to death, with leaders who respect me.
Alexandre. Mei could see his face so clearly, it took her breath away. I’m worthy of more. So much more. Finally, she knew it.
Mei drew herself up, feeling taller than ever in her five-one frame. She looked from James to Erika. “As your video said, ‘You only have one life.’ And I’d rather be living. Have fun onstage. I’ll send you my resignation letter this afternoon.”