Chapter Forty-Three
Mei hurried across the campus, past groups of students gathering in the chilly March air. She’d memorized the path from the parking lot to Alexandre’s office but frantically scanned each building to make sure she didn’t miss her destination.
It was empty. Mei stepped inside and glanced around, as if her presence would somehow conjure Alexandre. She peered outside. Still no sign of him. Maybe he was in another office.
Feeling a bit like a creeper, Mei walked the hallway, casually eyeballing each room.
“Can I help you?” a woman about her age asked when Mei peeked into her office.
Mei reddened. “I’m looking for Ale—, um, Professor Brodeur.”
“His office is down the hall. I think he’s with Dr. Johnson, though. They walked by a few minutes ago.”
Mei’s heart plummeted. She thanked the professor and slunk back to Alexandre’s office. Inside, she lowered herself into the wooden chair next to his desk. There was nothing left to do but wait.
A clock on the wall ticked off the passing minutes. Mei stared at it until tears blurred her vision. How had she let Alexandre slip away?
She fumbled in her pocket for a tissue. Her hand brushed something soft.
Mei pulled out Kaia’s lucky cat. She stared at its smiling face.
Sure, she needed luck now, more than ever.
But so much of life came down to the decisions you made—how you handled the situations you found yourself in.
Mei squeezed the lucky cat, then placed it back in her pocket. I’ll make my own luck.
Footsteps sounded in the hall, then stopped abruptly.
“Mei?”
She turned. Alexandre stood in the doorway, looking spooked. Mei’s heart hammered at the sight of him.
“Hi.” She took a step toward him. Alexandre’s piney scent filled her nose, tying her stomach in knots. His hazel eyes searched hers. His face mirrored her emotions. All the sadness and regret. “You’re probably wondering what I’m doing here.”
“I am.” Alexandre let out an incredulous little laugh. “Sorry, I’m kind of in shock. I’m glad you’re here, though. I need to tell you something.” He shut the door and gently led her back to her seat. He sat down in his own chair, so close their knees nearly touched. “Mei, I—”
She held up a hand. “I want to hear everything you have to say. But if I don’t speak now, I’m going to throw up, faint, or explode, and I don’t think either of us wants that. Especially in your office.”
The corners of Alexandre’s mouth curved up. He nodded at her to continue.
“Last year, when you moved back, I thought I finally had it all: an amazing job, financial security, and a beautiful apartment. Everything came from my hard work—or so I thought. Work was a drug for me, like it was for you. It made me feel invincible, even as it hollowed me out from the inside. Worse, work let me avoid the problems between me and Joey—and my feelings for you.” A flush rose to her cheeks, but she pressed on.
“I’ve learned that being strong isn’t about doing superhuman amounts of work.
It’s about facing reality, especially when it’s messy and uncomfortable.
I thought that getting promoted and speaking at Livin Forum was my dream.
But when I got there, I saw how much more I’d lose if I stayed. So I quit. Today was my last day.”
“I heard!”
“I don’t have another job. I don’t have that much money saved. I’ll need a lot of time and therapy to heal. But I do know one thing: I haven’t given up on you, or us. I care about you in a way that makes me believe anything is possible. Even if you’re moving to North Dakota.”
Mei looked into Alexandre’s intelligent eyes.
She drank in the angle of his jaw, the curve of his lips.
The faint lines around his eyes, and the rogue strands of gray near his temples.
Alexandre’s gaze caressed her face. Mei knew he could see the dark circles starting to fade below her eyes, the healthy color finally returning to her cheeks.
“About North Dakota,” Alexandre began. “I went there hoping it would be terrible. Instead, I was faced with every scientist’s dream. So when I got the offer, I accepted.”
Tears gathered in Mei’s eyes.
“Then I turned it down.”
Mei blinked in disbelief. “Really?”
“Yes.” Alexandre wiped away her tears. “Just now. I sent UND my resignation letter.”
“Why? How?”
Alexandre took her hand. “You made me see the error of my ways. When Luc told me you’d quit Livin, I was floored.
Then I saw that you were choosing yourself.
That made me think hard about my situation.
At SUNY New Paltz, I already have a job that challenges me, while giving me growth opportunities and work/life balance.
Plus, I get to live near the people I care about.
I was so hung up on UND being a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I didn’t see that I already had a once-in-a-lifetime job. ”
“You remembered what’s important in life.” Mei’s lips tipped up into a smile.
“Finally. I met with Dr. Johnson just now to tell her I’ll be renewing my contract here.
” Alexandre smiled, then his expression turned somber.
“I realized that I still have a lot of work to do on myself. I nearly lost everything to research, again. I lost you, Mei. I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I’m so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”
Mei let out a sad little chuckle as she recalled her state of mind during that disastrous dim sum. “Well, I wasn’t exactly honest with you. I hope you can forgive me, too.”
“I can. Always. I’ll do better for you, too. I emailed a few therapists to find one who can help me with chronic workaholism.”
Mei squeezed his hand. “We’ll do it together. Petit à petit.”
“Petit à petit.” Alexandre traced his fingers along her cheek. “I believe in us, too. I’m more sure about you than anything in the world.”
Mei leaned in and closed the space between them. Those lips she’d longed for were finally right where she wanted them. As Alexandre pulled her close and ran his fingers through her hair, Mei’s heart exploded with the warmth of a thousand dazzling suns.
This was love. The kind of love she’d never let herself dream of. A love she never thought she’d find, but one she now knew was possible.
A love she was worthy of.
Footsteps and laughter rang out from the hallway, making them jump.
“Good thing you closed that door,” Mei said. “What if Dr. Johnson or one of your students busted in on us? Kissing in your office is a pretty high-risk, high-reward move.”
Alexandre laughed, filling Mei with sunshine. “That’s a risk I’m more than willing to take.”
He drew her in, so close Mei felt his heart beating in time with hers. She smiled as their lips met. “I feel the exact same way.”