36. Asher
Asher
“You’d think you know how to throw a right hook as a hockey player,” I goad. Charlie glares at me, shaking his head.
“It’s different in the heat of a moment on the ice,” he grumbles.
Charlie asked about going to the gym with me, something we did when I was younger and first came to live with him and my sister. It was something he did to relate with me, to get my anger out, but also to diffuse any situation with Audrey when we would get into it.
He texted me out of the blue and asked if I wanted to meet him at the gym and I agreed. Though he didn’t particularly want to practice any boxing, I convinced him. He looks like he’s regretting it now.
“Doesn’t seem like you’re going to have a second career as a MMA fighter then,” I joke.
“I can’t say that’s in my five-year plan.” He shakes his head. “How’s your shoulder?”
I rub the area gently, glad it’s not giving me too many problems today. “It’s fine. Recovery is a bitch.”
Charlie nods. “Yeah, injuries as an athlete fucking suck.”
He looks like he’s holding back on wanting to say more to me. I wait while he stretches his arms one at a time across his chest. I don’t know if he’s going to want to move to another exercise or if he’s going to say whatever he’s thinking.
“What’re the other parts of MMA because I know it’s not just boxing,” he finally asks.
“Brazilian Ju Jitsu and Muy Thai, but you aren’t ready for those yet because I know you weren’t on the ice wrestling guys into submission.”
He snorts out a laugh. “You’re right about that.”
“I feel like Audrey could kick some ass, though, she’s always been a hard ass,” I comment and that has Charlie’s face turning a little more serious.
“Listen, I don’t want to come at you or anything but I’ve always wondered why you’ve given her such a hard time?” he asks gently.
I clench my jaw, knowing this was coming at some point. When I was younger he tried to be the peacekeeper, but now that we’re all adults I can tell it bothers him. I get it to an extent. I’d want to know why someone was treating Rae like I’ve treated Audrey.
“Because she only took me in when she had to,” I say simply.
Charlie looks confused. “She didn’t have to.”
“Oh right, it was take me in or I go to a foster home and she felt bad.”
“That’s not what happened at all,” he denies. But I don’t believe him.
“She doesn’t know even half the shit I went through, and doesn’t care to.
If she did then she would’ve met me sooner, but she didn’t.
” I feel the years of resentment building up again.
The shit I’ve suppressed since I left because there was no point in it.
What’s done is done, but he’s reminding me all the reasons Audrey and I have such a strained relationship.
“Trust me, your sister didn’t have the perfect life either,” he says gruffly, and I roll my eyes. She may not have, but she got away and it’s been pretty fucking perfect since. “Talk to her. You don’t have the full story, and you may feel differently once you do.”
I grind my teeth, already done with this. I didn’t come here to hash out the issues I have with my sister with her boyfriend. He’s always been nice to me, but right now he’s just pissing me off.
“We’re done here,” I grind out, turning to grab my shit and leave.
I get in my car, and want to get away from here. I don’t want to talk to Audrey, don’t want to confront anything having to do with my past. Right now I just want to run away.
Because that’s what I do.
The fleeting thought only pisses me off more. I don’t even think about what I’m doing and instead of driving home, I go straight to Rae’s house.
I’m let through the gate, and storm right up to her front door, knocking loudly. She doesn’t come right away, and I’m concerned, but I faintly hear the piano and lean back against the door, sliding down to sit while I just listen. It’s hard to hear clearly, and if she’s singing I can’t hear it.
I take in my surroundings, her property, the large rounded driveway, the trees that line the gate that surrounds the house.
This type of house was only something I saw in movies when I was growing up.
Meanwhile I was stuck living in a dirty trailer with my parents while they constantly fought.
I close my eyes as I remember all the yelling, the sound of my mom crying when my dad would be drunk and hit her before he turned his anger to me.
Then one day it was quiet. Everything was so quiet. I was eight when they both died, and thought that maybe my life would be better. I was a na?ve little kid. I went to live with my grandma, and thought maybe I’d have the life I saw on TV.
But I didn’t.
And I learned that was just fantasy. I wasn’t going to have one of those lives, they’re fake because real life is filled with pain. This type of life isn’t real, not for someone like me.
Which is why once my grandma died and I moved in with Audrey, I couldn’t accept any of it, because it’s not real.
None of this is real, not really. Not for me.
The door behind me opens, and I barely catch myself from falling backwards, and look up to see Rae standing there with a confused look on her face. She’s so fucking beautiful. Her soft red hair hangs around her shoulder, slightly messed up like she was running her hands through it.
As she stands above me, the sun isn’t particularly bright today, the layer of fog over the sky that indicates impending snow, but I swear with her standing like that above me she’s glowing.
She’s always like this, so bright. So perfect.
Too good for me, and we both know it, but I’m holding on with both hands as tight as I can because if I were to lose her then I would lose all the light she brings with her.
“What’re you doing?” she asks softly.
I don’t answer right away; instead I stand up, crowding her against the side of her house, and watch her chest rise and fall with rapid breaths.
“Asher?” she whispers my name, blue eyes wide with questions, but I don’t have answers. I never do.
I bring my hand up to her neck, sliding to the back and tangling my fingers in the hair at the base, tilting her head back enough to keep her eyes locked on mine.
My tongue sticks in my mouth at the thought of speaking.
I should tell her more, I should tell her more about who I am, where I come from, and why she should run away from me and never look back.
Go have a beautiful, perfect life with Grayson.
But I can’t.
And I can’t tell her how I feel when I’m around her. How she makes everything better, she pulls me from the darkness I find myself in. She makes me think that there could be more to my life.
Instead of saying anything and sounding ridiculous, I close the distance, pressing my mouth to hers and tell her through our kiss.
She may not understand it all, but it doesn’t matter.
I let my mouth move over hers and she grips my shirt in her fists, anchoring herself to me.
My tongue invades her mouth and she moans, melting into me.
I push my hips into her harder against the wall.
Kissing her has the other thoughts in my mind quieting, if only just for a minute. She kisses me back like she knows I need this. Like I need her.
I finally pull back, dropping my forehead to hers, but I’m still breathing hard.
“Come inside,” she suggests gently.
I don’t say anything, and don’t move at first. It’s not until she takes my hand in hers and starts gently pulling me toward the door that I follow. Wanting to laugh at myself that Grayson is her puppy dog, but right now I feel like it’s me.
And I don’t mind it because yeah, she does have me wrapped around her finger and I don’t see that changing.
She shuts the door, leaning against it as she turns toward me. “Is there a reason you were sitting on my front porch?”
“I knocked.” I shrug. “You didn’t hear me, then I was just listening to you play.”
She looks me up and down, and normally there’s heat in her gaze when she does that, but right now all I see is concern. I don’t want her to look at me like that.
“What’s wrong?” she asks gently.
I clench my jaw, snapping, “Nothing.”
“You know you can tell me.”
“I just wanted to see you.” Partial truth.
She sighs; I’m sure she wants more from me, but I don’t know what to say. This is what I have to offer her right now.
“If you did have something to talk to me about, you can.”
“Because you’re so forthcoming with everything?
Does Grayson still not know about the weird shit that’s been happening?
” My tone is harsher than I intend, but if she wants to push me to talk, then maybe she should do the same since I hardly know what’s going on. It seems like Grayson knows even less.
Her eyes flare and harden. “It’s nothing.”
“Right,” I say flatly, then step closer to her, our chests less than an inch apart while I loom over her. “Seems like we both have things we want to keep to ourselves.”
“I have nothing to share though,” she denies.
“Me either.”
We’re at a standoff, and neither is going to give in. Another thought comes to mind. Even if she doesn’t want to talk about it and admit that something is going on with her, I need to know she’s safe.
“I want to teach you some self-defense,” I blurt suddenly.
“You’re injured.”
“I’m fine.”
“So am I.”
I narrow my eyes at her stubbornness. Moving quickly, I turn her around, pressing her completely against the wall with my body.
“And what would you do if someone had you pinned like this?” I push.
She tries to buck back against me, swinging her arms, but I easily press her harder with my hips and take both her wrists, pinning them up on the wall with one hand. She lets out a frustrated growl.
“Now what?” I question.
“I wouldn’t be in this situation,” she snaps.
“You are right now.”
“Jokes on you because this is exactly where I want to be.”
Chuckling, I drop my face to her shoulder, nipping her through her shirt hard enough she yelps, but as she moves to try and get away her ass rubs against my groin, where my dick is already hard for her and I groan.
“Seems like you are too,” she sasses. “But someone is missing.”
I want to counter that she’s wrong, but I can’t bring myself to. She wants Grayson here as well, and maybe getting completely lost together is exactly what we both need. Especially since we’re both holding back. And if it’s just the two of us I may end up admitting more than I want to.
“Do you want him here too?” I ask.
Rae nods. “Yeah, but I was going to wait until I’m done with the song. Like a reward.”
I chuckle. “You can take a break. We’re your inspiration, aren’t we?”