20. Ink
INK
Maybe that came on a little strong, but he didn’t care. He had nothing to lose at that point. While he went to get the pizzas and make a plan, he’d realized a few things.
Naomi and Asher were his. He was going to do his damnedest to make them both realize it. Even if it meant moving into the apartment with them and camping out on the couch. It worked for his brothers, so why couldn’t it work for him?
Though, he wasn’t sure their women laughed at them like Naomi was. Not quiet chuckles either. Big, booming laughs that had Asher running over.
“Mama?”
“Mama thinks Ink made a joke, buddy,” he stated, boosting him into his lap when he tried to climb up.
“Mama laugh,” Asher beamed.
Ink wanted to roll his eyes, but he managed to keep his smile in place. “Yep, your mama’s laughing. She’ll calm down when she realizes the joy of what I said.”
That only made her laugh harder. Her head fell onto the table, her shoulders shaking. Okay, that was a bit much. He was starting to feel offended, but he held it together.
Asher giggled, crawling halfway across the table to pat his mother on the head. “Mama happy.”
“She is, buddy. She’s overcome with joy and happiness.”
Another snort.
Good thing he had thick skin.
Asher sat with him for another thirty seconds before he decided he’d had enough and headed back to watch his show. Naomi finally lifted her head and wiped her eyes as her chuckles subsided.
“Finished?” he asked, brows raised.
“You keep talking and probably not,” she rasped, pushing away from the table and getting to her feet.
“And just what am I saying that’s so funny?” He slowly got to his feet as she walked into the kitchen.
“Clearly, you lost your damn mind.” She opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.
Another snort slipped out when she looked at him.
“Everything in your power to have me? Ink, this isn’t some romance novel where you get to act all caveman and I fall at your feet.
Whatever fantasy you’ve got going on in your head, I suggest you find another woman to act it out with.
It’s not happening with me. I don’t trust you, and any crush I had on you was gone the moment that club girl got in my face and told me you were hers.
You might not want her, but you only want me because I’m a challenge and you have something to prove. ”
“That’s what you think?” It irritated him, but the rational part of his mind understood it. What else was she supposed to think? That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to prove her wrong.
“What else is there to think?” She sipped her water, watching him.
“You think I haven’t been around men like you, Ink?
That I don’t know that men see what they want, and when they can’t have it, will do whatever it takes to possess it?
I gave you a signal or something, in your mind, and you took it as a green light.
Now that you’ve screwed up, you’re going to work harder than ever to attain what you didn’t really want in the first place.
You didn’t even want me at that party, because if you had, you’d have asked me to go, and she wouldn’t have been there with full intentions of spending her evening with you. ”
He wanted to snap that she was wrong, but the truth of her words hit him like a gut punch. She wasn’t exaggerating. That mountain he was climbing to earn her forgiveness just got a hell of a lot higher and steeper. Good thing he was a determined man.
“I fucked up, Naomi, and I know it. This thing I feel for you? It’s messed with my head. I’m a bachelor. I’ve always said I never wanted to be with a woman for more than a night. But I was wrong. I didn’t want to be with the rest. They weren’t a possibility of more. With you, there is.”
“You’re going to make me laugh again, Ink. Do you hear yourself? Do you hear the bullshit coming out of your mouth?”
Irritation snapped to life, but he held it back. He never expected this conversation to be easy. “Fine, explain to me what’s bullshit?”
“You’re still a bachelor, Ink. I’m a woman who hasn’t fallen at your feet and given you the attention you’re used to. If I gave you a chance and slept with you, you’d walk away and never look back. You’d have achieved what you wanted.”
“No, I—”
“How do you know?” Her tone was logical, but he bristled anyway.
“I’m not saying that to be mean, but you said yourself you’ve never had a serious relationship, never wanted to spend more than a night with a woman.
Suddenly, you’re so sure you’re going to have that with me.
Patterns are there for a reason, and maybe you’ll change your ways now that you realize it’s something you want, but you won’t do that with me.
I’ll be the guinea pig to try things out with.
I’m leaving in five and a half months. It’s the perfect time to practice, right?
See what you think of it with Asher and me, and then you’ll frame your next relationship on what you did and didn’t like with us. ”
It sounded so cold and calculated. He hated it. That wasn’t him.
“I hate to disappoint you, sweetheart, but falling for the right woman out of nowhere is a tradition around here. Royal and Savage? They got together when he mistook her for her twin sister. She impressed him, and within a couple of days, she was living with him. Fury? He saw Esme and instantly went after her. Rogue? He knew Scarlett and the twins were in trouble, so he went after them hard. Razor, Code, and Jax? All the same. Every single one of them refused to ever settle down. Until their women walked into their lives.”
“And you think you’re going to be like them?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because from the sounds of things and the little rumors I heard over the last couple of weeks, you’ll screw any girl with a pretty smile and working parts.”
“Well, considering I haven’t been with anyone since you got here, that’d be incorrect,” he bit out.
Did he really have such a terrible reputation?
Guilt and discomfort welled. He stepped into her space, but not enough to make her feel crowded.
Still, her eyes widened, her shoulders tensed, and she tightened her grip on the water bottle.
“Since the moment I saw you, I haven’t wanted anyone else, Naomi.
No one else has made me look at them twice. Even if I tried.”
Wrong thing to say because it made her eyes shutter. Damn it. He was not good at this.
“So you tried, and because it didn’t work, you’re back to me to help you get past it.
” She shook her head. “You know what? I don’t need to get into this anymore.
I’ve had a very long couple of days. Thank you for the pizza and for spending time with Asher, but I’m done for tonight.
You can see yourself out.” She set the water bottle on the counter and turned away.
He grabbed her wrist, and she spun around, face flushing with fury.
“Look, I’m not going to deny I’m an idiot and an asshole.
I’m both a lot more than I am a nice guy, really.
Do you know how much it’s thrown me off, this attraction to you?
This need to see you? To be near you in case you need me?
Or if Asher needs me? Seeing you smile and relax around everyone?
Or when you’re working on the paperwork for the shop, and you bite your lip, and I can see that smart brain of yours working?
It’s all I’ve been thinking about since you got here. ”
A flicker of something flashes in her eyes. “And, what? You’re too much of a coward to face it, so you tried to sleep with a guaranteed option?”
“I didn’t sleep with any of them. If any of them approached, I wanted nothing to do with them. Whenever they touched my arm or hand, it felt wrong. I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t pissed off about it. But you can ask Ice if you don’t believe me.”
“Yes, because I’m going to ask another man whether you did or didn’t sleep with a woman.”
Her sarcasm was thick, but he ignored it.
“They’d all take great pleasure in throwing my ass under the bus if they got the chance.
And Ice is as honest as they come. He and Rogue are a lot alike in that way.
But none of that matters, Naomi. Do you know when I realized that we really needed to explore this?
Last night, seeing how terrified you were of me, it killed me.
I didn’t sleep. All I wanted was to make you and Asher feel safe again.
Knowing it was my fault? I never want to fucking feel that way again. ”
“Watch it. I’ve let the last few slide.” She gave a pointed look toward where Asher was still engrossed in his show.
He nodded. Yeah, he was going to have to remember to watch himself, but for them, he would. “I don’t want to ever make you feel the way I did again, Naomi. You or Asher. And I’ll spend the next however many months proving it.”
“Have you ever considered that I might not want anything to do with this? That it’s not all about how you feel or about trying to absolve your conscience?”
“Of course I have, but I don’t believe in denying or ignoring what’s in front of us either. Tell me the truth, Naomi. Do you actually not feel anything for me?”
“That’s not—”
“Naomi.”
Her mouth moved but no sound emerged. Then she looked away, and her face flushed. Maybe he was an asshole, but it made him feel a hell of a lot better. He could work with that.
Carefully, worried he might spook her, he hauled her into him by the wrist. She stiffened but didn’t pull away. He kept his grip loose so she wouldn’t feel trapped, and wanted to groan at the feel of her against him. She fit perfectly against his body, as if she were made for him.
He looked down into her blue eyes. They were wide, lashes fluttering, and pupils dilated.
She swallowed hard. It was a dagger to the chest, but he had to move past it.
He had to make her realize she was safest with him.
Then he saw the briefest glint of pleasure and desire.
She might not like it, but she wanted him.
He could work with that.
“This, baby, this is exactly what I’m talking about,” he murmured.
“Do you feel how perfectly we fit? How right you feel in my arms, looking up at me with those baby-blue eyes? All I want is for us to explore this—this chemistry between us. And I’m going to screw it up along the way.
I know I am because I’m an idiot on a good day, but you never have to worry I won’t try for you, baby. I want to give you everything.”
“Ink …”
He smiled. “I love it when you say my road name.”
And I’ll love it even more when you’re screaming it when I’m buried deep inside you.
She rolled her eyes, but it was the first real moment he felt he might be able to fix this. Somehow. Someway. He just needed her to give him a shot.
She sighed heavily. “I get the feeling people say it to you a lot, but not in a nice way. More like, you’re annoying, and I’m done with it.”
He chuckled and shrugged.
“Ink, you’re asking a lot of me one day after everything that’s happened. I need … I need to think. I need time and space. I need to process everything.”
He opened his mouth to protest but snapped it shut when she put a hand up to stop him then pressed back against his grip, forcing him to release her.
“The logical side of me knows I’m probably making a mountain out of nothing in this whole situation, but the emotional side says I’m an idiot for staying here, for keeping Asher in a place that could prove dangerous for him.
I need to work through that. And while I’ve let you in, listened, and see what you’re trying to say, it’s not enough to change my mind.
I don’t trust you enough, and I don’t trust your club either.
I can forgive you all for it if it were just me, but not when you put my son in danger, even if unintentionally.
“I’ll be honest with you, Ink, yeah, I did have a crush on you.
Probably still do, but it’s buried so deep under the mistrust and hurt that I don’t know that it’ll ever come back.
Chemistry is a biological response, not always conscious, and right now, I can logically rationalize that I’m still in fight-or-flight mode.
That will take time to get over. So, for now, I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I need to put a pin in this conversation.
Maybe I’ll feel something for you again as the days go on, but right now, that’s not happening. ”
The rejection stung, but the last part of that was enough to give him hope.
“Then I’ll give you some space, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying, Naomi.
Now that I know what I want, I’m going to be like a dog with a bone.
I won’t push too hard, and I won’t pressure you, but can you at least give me the chance? ”
“I don’t know.”
“Then I’ll go slow, starting with leaving you for the night and letting you stew on what I said.”
“You’re far too cocky with yourself to consider that I might sit and think about you all night.”
His grin was quick. “Baby, the ladies always think about me after I’m gone. You’re only getting a small part of my charm. You’d be a puddle if I really turned it all the way up.”
She scoffed. “Cocky and delusional. If you want some of the pizza that’s left, go ahead and take it. I’m going to get Asher in a bath and ready for bed. Oh, wait, actually, take Taz some pizza. He’s probably hungry up there.”
He wanted to say fuck that, but he nodded.
If it would make her happy, then he’d do it.
“Alright. I’ll be done at the shop by five tomorrow.
Want me to pick something up on the way?
Anything you’ve been craving?” She gave him a bland stare.
His grin widened. “You still have to eat. That’s not pressure.
That’s making your life easier after a tiring day. ”
“Good night, Ink.” She walked over and turned off the TV. Asher protested, but he didn’t fight as she picked him up and headed down the hall.
He stayed where he was, watching her. A part of him wondered if he fucked everything up, but then she turned and gave him a soft smile over her shoulder before shutting the bathroom door.
It was enough, and he left the apartment feeling far more hopeful than when he went in.
Instead of getting pissed at Taz for hitting him in the back with a rock from up on the roof, demanding to know where his pizza was, he just flipped him off and kept on walking. Like fuck he was giving another man pizza he bought for the woman he wanted to make his.