16. Dove #4
“I’m relieved he’s back,” I confessed, “but I’m scared he’ll leave again.
I’m scared he’ll stay. I’m scared we’ll start something we can’t stop, and it’ll consume us.
I’m afraid of what will happen when it does.
” I squeezed my eyes tightly to avoid the tears that pricked behind them.
“I don’t have much left to lose, but I’m scared of losing it anyway. ”
When I opened my eyes, Reverie’s own glistened wetly, shining from the streams of sunlight coming in through the living room windows.
“Oh, babe,” she breathed, engulfing me in a hug. I let her, burying my face in her hair as I sunk into her embrace. Gathered up close to my best friend, I felt safe and comforted, but it gave me the deepest ache for it to be my mother’s arms instead.
A sob broke from my chest, and Reverie rocked me, petting at my hair and shushing me.
“I’m not a mess, Rev,” I choked out. “I’m a full-on disaster.”
She pressed her cheek to the top of my head. “You’re going through a lot. You’re in the process of grieving . That would overload anyone, Dove.”
I sniffled against her and forced my tears to stop. I needed to pull myself together. Despite the last few weeks, I wasn’t normally this much of a leaky faucet. When they finally slowed, I leaned back, wiping at my face.
Contemplation crossed Reverie’s face.
“Some things are worth fighting for.” She rose one shoulder in a half shrug. “You have to ask yourself if this is.” She hit me with an intense stare. “If he is.”
I opened my mouth—to say what exactly? I didn’t have a clear answer. I knew what my heart wanted, but my brain knew better. Emotions clouded my judgment easily when it came to Josh, they always had.
Rev tucked a piece of hair that hang in my face behind my ear and smiled sadly. “You know it won’t be easy.”
She didn’t need to say why. There was a whole town filled with people and their judgements that explained why it wouldn’t be wise to start this. Two fresh graves and a handful of adolescent years raised together that outlined why it was a very bad idea.
I was aware of all of that.
“But.” A hopeful smile curled on her lips. “If he’s worth fighting for—and all the best things are—then fight for him .”
My eyebrows lifted, surprised by the sudden intensity in her voice.
“You said you’re scared he’ll leave,” Rev reminded me. “Let’s make sure he doesn’t want to.”
Reverie always had a way of pulling me in, intriguing me until I was indulging her. It’d been happening ever since we met. It was no different now.
All right, I’ll bite . “How do we do that?”
Reverie arms crossed as she leaned back into the arm of the couch, a manicured hand tapping thoughtfully against her chin.
It took her all of a minute before she was snapping her fingers. “Aha! His birthday’s soon, right?”
“Tomorrow,” I confirmed, surprised she remembered. I told her as much.
She waved dismissively. “It popped up on Facebook earlier, reminding me. Remember he has one from back when we tried to integrate him into the world of social media?”
A laugh punched out of me. Of course, I remembered. Reverie and I had plunked him down in front of my laptop and all but held him against his will as we forced him to peck away at the keys, creating a Facebook he’d only used a handful of times.
I should know, I’d checked it religiously after he left. There hadn’t been a fresh profile picture or a new post in years. All I’d hoped for was the tiniest of updates, something to go on, but all I’d gotten was an empty timeline and an even emptier heart.
Reverie waggled a finger only a few inches from my face.
“No moping,” she ordered. “We’re scheming here.”
I sighed, bending my arm along the back of the sofa to prop my head up on my hand. “No, you’re scheming.”
“Yes, I am.” She grinned. “And you’re my accomplice. Now, do you two have anything planned?”
I flushed at her suggestive tone.
“ No,” I said deliberately. “But Eddie came over and invited Josh out.”
Reverie’s face contorted into something painful before smoothing into indifference.
Eddie was Zeke’s older brother. I remembered a little too late that I shouldn’t have mentioned him.
Anything remotely related to Zeke was an instant trigger for her.
She’d had to move apartments once because her neighbor had a pet dog named Zee, which was what she used to affectionally call him while they’d dated.
“Shit, Rev, I’m sorry?—”
She waved it off as if anything Zeke-related wasn’t still the sore spot it was for her.
The gleam in her eye grew, and I watched as she worked her devious magic, likely coming up with a scheme grand enough to rival Ocean 8 ’s.
“I’ve got it,” she crowed triumphantly, a cunning smile on her lips. “We’re going to do what all the greats do!”
“What’s that?” I asked skeptically.
“A makeover.”
I was just about to ask her what that even meant when heavy footsteps fell outside on the porch and the front door handle jiggled. The noise had us turning just in time to see Josh striding in, his skin glistening, shirt plastered to his chest, face flushed from exertion and plain old sunshine.
Reverie hopped up from the couch as her eyes flickered subtly from him to me.
“I should really get going,” Reverie announced, sounding a little too cheerful and completely suspicious. I glared at her, knowing she was purposefully keeping me in the dark.
“Oh.” Josh paused inside the doorway, confused.
“You don’t have to leave just ’cause I came in, Rev.
I’m only grabbing something to drink and changin’ my shirt.
” He plucked at it, pulling it away from where it was plastered to his body.
I nearly choked. Thank God his attention was still on Reverie. “I’ll be gone in a minute.”
“That’s all right.” She crossed the living room to the front door, where Josh stood.
“I really should get going.” She patted Josh on the shoulder as she passed and then reached for the door handle, spinning to face me with a twinkle in her eyes.
“I’ll see you later, Dove.” With that, she slipped out the door, closing it behind her so fast I didn’t even have time to answer.
I scowled after her, sending telepathic rays of exasperation through the door.
Josh blinked, eying me and then the door, clearly clueless. “She left fast. What was that about?”
My heart leapt into my throat, but I forced my shoulders up into a nonchalant shrug. “Your guess is as good as mine,” I lied.
Josh shook his head with a chuckle and entered the kitchen, his boots thudding against the tile as he headed for the fridge. “Hasn’t changed much, has she? Still the same ole Rev.
“Yeah,” I muttered, trying hard not to stare at the defined muscle beneath his sweat-damp shirt. “Same ole Rev.”