24. Dove #2
“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “Caused a huge blow out. His parents disowned him and everything. Must be a theme around here.” Josh rolled his eyes. “If he wasn’t going to medical school, they wanted nothing to do with him. He was left with only what he had left over after buying the gym.”
“That’s sad.” Accidents had taken my parents from me. I couldn’t imagine losing them by their choice alone. My heart went out to him.
Josh gave a one-shoulder shrug. “I’m sure Ollie misses them, but he really didn’t want to be a surgeon. The kid fainted when he had to dissect a frog , for god’s sake, I don’t know who his parents were kidding thinking he’d willingly pick up a scalpel. Ollie’s happy being a gym rat.”
“You still talk to him?” I asked, curious.
Josh paused, but the fingers of his hand slipped under the hem of my nightshirt so he could rub the warm skin beneath, as if he needed the physical touch.
“That’s… actually why I brought it up. When Ollie found out what happened, I guess he felt a kind of kinship with me or something.
I was only at Eddie’s a few days when he offered me a job.
Other than Ed’s parents offering me a job at the restaurant, I didn’t really have any other options in town, and I didn’t really want to run into Gareth or—” He stumbled on his words, cutting off awkwardly. But I knew what he was about to say.
Or me .
I tried not to be hurt. I understood, in a way, how seeing me but not being able to talk to me would have hurt him. Plus, there was no way I’d have left him alone if he stayed in Haven. I would have demanded an answer from him, bugged him until he caved.
“ So, I accepted. Hitched a ride to Marleysville, where he’d set up his gym.”
“Wait.” My eyes narrowed dangerously as I realized what that meant. “You were in Marleysville this whole time?” When Josh didn’t say anything, I smacked his arm. “Josh that’s only two hours away!”
“I wanted to be far enough that I wouldn’t cause any problems, but close enough that if you ever needed me, I could be there for you.” His hands splayed wide over my ribs, his thumb just barely touching the curve of my breast. As if he hit some secret button, my anger dissipated instantly.
“I always need you,” I admitted brokenly, voice hitching as the prickle of tears threatened behind my eyes. To know he was so close this whole time…
I should have pressed Eddie more. I should have reached out to his other friends. If I had, maybe I would have found him before all this time had passed. I let my anger and pain get the best of me instead of taking action. I should have fought harder to figure out why he left and where he went.
Josh leaned his forehead against mine as he whispered back, “I know, baby. I listened to every voicemail, read every text. I know how badly I hurt you. But it would have hurt worse if you’d lost your mom and Gareth because of me. I couldn’t risk that happening.”
“That wouldn’t?—”
This time he was the one to cut me off with a kiss.
“To answer your original question”—he continued as if I hadn’t spoken when he broke away—“I was with a client when you called, and I let it go to voicemail like I always do. I figured I’d wait until after I was done to listen to it, but when I got that second call so soon after, I knew something was wrong.
Gut feeling, I guess. So, I excused myself to go listen to it.
I was on the second floor, which looks out over the main part of the gym.
I was leaning over the banister as it played and…
hearing the pain in your voice as you explained what happened, knowing I wasn’t there for you…
” He trailed off, as if he couldn’t find the words.
“I hadn’t even realized I’d dropped my phone until I was halfway out the door, no bag, no keys, just gunning it for my car.
Ollie stopped me. It must have been the look on my face that clued him in, because he made me sit down and drink some water, calming me down as much as he could before gathering all my stuff for me.
Made sure I was okay to drive first, but I promise, Dove, I was on my way to you as soon as I could.
Unfortunately, my cell was beyond repair the moment it hit the cement floor, and I didn’t even think to use anyone else’s before I left.
I wasn’t thinking beyond getting to you .
I wanted so badly to be there for you, for Josie, and”—his voice cracked—“for dad.”
My heart broke as he broke, and I pulled him into a hug. His face found the place between my neck and shoulder as he clung to me. A slight dampness grew on my skin, but I didn’t mention it, just held him tighter, running my hand in soothing strokes through the hair at the nape of his neck.
I wanted to be mad at Josh for not telling me how close he was, for being just out of reach, but I couldn’t. This situation had been hard on both of us, but Josh was the one who lost everything. His home. His only remaining parent. Me.
He’d also lost the ability to reconcile with his father.
Josh and Gareth got along about as well as oil and water, but so much of that had been perpetuated by Gareth due to the loss of Josh’s mom.
It had taken Josh years to figure out why his dad was distant and cold toward him, and even after he found out, he tried so hard to please his father—to follow in his footsteps, to be the kind of son his father could be proud of.
I never once heard Josh talk back; he always did as he was told, blindly following wherever Gareth led.
Loving me was the only thing Josh ever did for himself.
Under my shirt, Josh’s hand was a hot brand on my skin, but it might as well have been my heart.
I was his, wholly and completely. There was no way I was going to let anything—or anyone—tear us apart again.
I vowed that whatever challenges arose from us being together, we would face them just like that, together. Never again apart.
The loud caw of a bird had me blinking away the memory of last night, bringing me back to the sweet summer morning. Lost in my thoughts, my coffee had gone tepid, and the sun had crept a little higher in the sky than when we’d woken up, rested from our long chat last night.
We talked until our throats were hoarse, and we were forcing our eyes open where they were slipping shut.
It was like once we’d gotten over the speedbump that was Josh leaving, we could move full speed ahead.
We traded stories back and forth, updating one another on what we’d missed in each other’s lives the past three years.
I learned that Josh eventually moved out of Ollie’s and got his own apartment, but still worked at his Gym, Powerflex Fitness, the very one he’d been sporting on his shirt the other day.
At first the job had just been cleaning and doing secretarial duties Ollie tended to neglect.
Busy work, as Josh put it. Having access to the gym gave him something to do in his free time and kept him strong, just as he’d been from a lifetime of farm work.
I hadn’t been able to stop myself from running my hands appreciatively over the swell of his biceps.
He ducked his head under my attention and admitted that, eventually, a few members approached him, asking if he’d give them some tips, since they’d noticed his improvement in such a short time.
Before he knew it, he’d gained a small client list. Impressed, Ollie sent him to get certified as a trainer and allowed him to coach alongside his other duties.
It wasn’t a career I would have imagined for Josh, but when he talked about his clients, his smile grew.
He’d been a farmer because that’s what Gareth expected of him.
It was heartwarming to hear Josh talk about the new life he’d created for himself, even if it hurt not be a part of it.
Curiosity—mixed with the smallest bit of jealousy—had me asking about his dating life.
Josh had answered openly and honestly, explaining that he’d gone on some dates, but nothing had ever worked out long-term.
“No one was you,” he told me. I’d barely been able to hold back my pleased smile.
In return, I talked about my classes at community college—how I’d been going part-time, taking general education courses in the hopes of transferring to a college specializing in veterinary medicine.
They’d been going well until mom got sick and the reality of the situation hit me.
Classes were taking up too much of my time.
Plus, I wasn’t going to leave her, not when she was sick.
I couldn’t leave her, and I certainly wasn’t going to make Gareth take care of my mom and the farm by himself.
Regret filled Josh’s eyes, and we both knew that if he’d been there, I wouldn’t have had to sacrifice my education. Quickly, I raised a hand to cover his mouth, stopping the apology before he could speak it. We were past that now.
He placed a kiss to my palm, and we moved on from the painful topic.
All night we caught up and reminisced, trading kisses and touches back and forth between stories until finally we succumbed to sleep.
Last night had been the best night I’d had in a long time.
Smiling, I took a sip of my coffee, grimacing at its lukewarm taste.
Just thinking of Josh put a goofy grin on my face, like I was some middle schooler with her first crush, but I couldn’t help it.
Parts of last night had been hard to discuss, sure, but we’d come out better for it.
I felt connected to Josh in a way I never had before.
He’d eagerly invited me to come along with him this morning, but I elected to stay behind.
Josh would be traveling all over town, and I wasn’t in the mood to drive around today, especially after the almost-accident the other day.
There was plenty to do here, and we still had a lot to do in preparation for all the work we’d be doing soon.
Even if it would have been great to hold his hand on the drive, pretending we were just a regular couple running errands together.
Another reason I hadn’t gone, because as long as we lived in this town, we couldn’t have that. Not publicly.
A fact I was okay with as long as I had Josh.
Setting my coffee on the small table beside the porch swing, I stood up, stretching out my cramped muscles.
While I’d slept peacefully, I wasn’t used to sleeping curled up in someone’s arms. My back twinged in protest at being the little spoon all night, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
Being in Josh’s arms was exactly where I wanted to be.