28. Dove #2
“Uh,” I racked my brain for an answer, willing it to remember words.
My mind had been too busy replaying the way Josh had teased me earlier by mentioning there were things he’d thought about doing to me, while simultaneously supplying just what exactly that might entail.
In vivid detail. “I think someone included it on a list of Top Hidden Gems in Pennsylvania a year or two ago. Been crazy ever since.”
Josh blew out an annoyed breath. “I know it used to get some draw from the city, but this is insane.”
“Double-edged sword, I suppose.” I observed the endless line of brake lights in front of us. “Brings in a lot of revenue for the town, but kind of takes away from what it used to be like.”
“Guess all things change with time, don’t they?” Josh mused, his fingers absentmindedly stroking my skin.
“Yeah,” I agreed quietly. “I guess they do.” There might have been a touch of melancholy in my voice but damn it if I didn’t know exactly how much the hand of time could change things.
As if he heard the somber tone of my voice, Josh’s hand squeezed my knee.
His touch remained on me as we remained stuck in traffic. As we crept forward at a sloth’s pace, his fingers stroked a path up and down my skin that grew slightly maddening.
I grabbed his hand, holding it in my lap. Perhaps it was first date jitters, or the fact we’d have to act like we weren’t on one, but something was bothering Josh. I could tell. Normally he was levelheaded and patient . The fact he was up in arms about traffic, of all things, was odd.
“What are you looking forward to most tonight?” I asked in an effort to distract him, but I was also interested in his answer.
“Tonight?” he echoed with a quick glance over at me. “At the festival?”
“Of course at the festival, Josh.” I chuckled, throwing him a joking duh look. “Where else?”
He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “Right, sorry. I can’t seem to think straight with you sitting just a few short inches away looking so fucking sexy in that dress.”
My belly flipped as I blushed. His stare was a bright spotlight on me, making me want to put on a show, as long as it was only for him.
It had me rethinking our agreement to be on our best behavior and place his hand back on my skin, only a little higher this time.
No doubt Josh was a bad influence on me, but I couldn’t say I minded, not when I’d experienced some of the best orgasms of my life with him.
Slowly, I widened my legs. Marginally, just enough so I could guide his hand where I knew he’d be eager to explore. Under my lashes, I watched his Adam’s apple bob and his mouth go slack. His eyes were alive with hunger, a hunger I placed there. Seeing it never got old.
Josh’s fingertips grazed the fabric of my underwear, and he groaned, as if pained.
“Fuck, baby, you’re soa?—"
Someone laid on their horn behind us, causing us both to jump so badly we nearly hit the roof. Josh snatched his hand back from mine, curling it around the steering wheel as if he hadn’t been touching me at all.
Mortified, I realized the line in front of us had moved along and we’d been holding up everyone behind us.
Josh laid off the brake and coasted forward. “Fucking Teslas,” he grumbled, eyes glaring daggers into his rearview. I couldn’t help the tiny smile that cracked on my face at the irony of that statement, not when what he was driving blended right in with the cars around us.
The line of traffic steadily continued forward, and Josh’s hands stayed where they were, curled around the wheel. Slumped against the passenger door, missing the warmth of his hands against my tingling skin, I could almost feel the phantom touch of his?—
I glanced down.
No, not a phantom touch at all. Josh’s hand was back on my knee, a respectable distance from where it had once been, yet a weighted reminder that there was nothing I’d deny him, if only he asked.
But there was one thing he’d yet to ask me for.
He didn’t have to; it was already his. It’d always been his.
And tonight, I decided, I wanted to give it to him.
Just beyond the town square was a grassy lot where we were directed to park. It was so full we were clear back near the tree line, sun glinting off the rows and rows of cars stretched out before us. It was almost laughably easy to spot the locals’ rides in between the visitors.
A lady wearing white pumps, actually pumps, stepped out of the car beside me. Her kids jumped out dressed in matching outfits, looking like an Instagram ad for a high-end children’s boutique. She sneered down at the grass, scoffing into the phone held up to her ear.
“This parking lot isn’t even paved, ” she snipped in disgust, slamming her door.
“Why am I always left taking them to these things by myself?” She paused, listening to a reply.
“ You were supposed to bring them to this, David. You promised them, not me. I’m not the one who needs to try harder to be present for this family.
” The man on the other end of the line must have been defending himself because I could hear the buzz of his reply through her speaker.
“Then you should have told them to reschedule your meeting because you had plans. Boys!” She snapped her fingers at the giggling kids, who were crouched over, poking at a frog. “Let’s go!”
I shook my head in disbelief as I got out of the car.
“Yikes,” Josh commented, closing my door for me. He’d waited until the woman had stomped past before rounding to my side. “Looks like trouble in paradise.”
I watched the boys’ flounce along after their mother, who ended the call and shoved the phone into her oversized purse, until they disappeared amongst the maze of vehicles. “I think it’s kind of sad.”
“Sad?” Josh sounded confused. “Why?”
“Clearly she wanted him to be here with them.” Through the aggravation in her tone was clear disappointment.
I wondered how many times she’d been left to take her boys alone to these kinds of things, how many unfulfilled promises she’d been left making up for, how many times she’d been let down in the process.
A faint touch along my cheek had me turning toward Josh. His eyes were soft, crinkled at the corners. “My little empath.”
“She seems lonely.” I could understand that a little too well.
Josh’s dark eyes scanned my face, and like usual, read me like a book, down to the footnotes in fine print. His thumb brushed over the curve of my cheekbone. “You’ll never be lonely again, Dove.”
I laughed lightly despite the sharp pain that lanced my heart at his words. “You can’t promise that.”
“Watch me.” The sheer confidence in his voice had my stomach swooping and the strength threatening to leave my knees.
He didn’t give me a chance to reply before he took my hand and pulled me along behind him. The light fluttering in my middle was replaced by a curl of panic. I dug the heels of my wedge sandals into the grass and yanked my hand back. “Josh, we can’t.”
His grip stayed firm in mine as he locked our fingers together. “We’re too far back to be seen by anyone we know, and none of these people pulling in are from around here.”
Even though he had a point, I still hesitated.
He stepped closer. “Just let me hold your hand, baby.” The hint of a plea bled into his lowered voice. “Let us have this, even if it’s only for a few minutes. No one can see between the cars.”
My mind had twenty different ways outlined on why that was a bad idea, but my heart was incapable of denying this man anything.
Because the thing was, I didn’t want to say no.
There was nothing more I wanted to do than hold Josh’s hand—to cradle his larger palm in mine as we walked booth to booth.
To rub my thumb against his knuckles as we greeted people, making it obvious he was my man.
If we couldn’t do that, we could at least have this, right? Even if it was momentary, like he suggested.
I squeezed his hand, and he took it as the permission I’d meant it to be. The side of his mouth ticked upwards, that familiar glint growing in his eyes, and somehow, I just knew that if we’d been at home he would have leaned forward and kissed me.
“Let’s go.” This time when he tugged me along, I followed easily, allowing him to weave us between the parked cars, his hand a warm weight in mine.
My eyes flickered into every window we passed, worried, heart in my throat, that we’d encounter someone we knew. But as each car we passed remained empty, I allowed myself to relax and just enjoy this moment.
Letting myself be a woman holding the hand of a man she likes.
“I’m going to win you the biggest teddy bear they got,” Josh promised, dodging the side mirror of a spotless BMW.
I giggled, actually giggled . God, who was I?
“I don’t need a giant teddy bear,” I argued, my side brushing his as we squeezed between two cars parked too close together.
When the space widened out, I mourned the loss of contact, wishing he’d drape his arm over my shoulders and pull me in tight, just so I’d have an excuse to press myself against him again.
“That’s what you do when you take your girl to the fair. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”
My blood was replaced by sugary sweet tea at his words. His girl . That was the second time he said it today, and each time my heart sang.
I attempted to keep the dopey grin off my face. “Yeah?” I asked, feeling giddy and lightheaded and happy . “Who does?”
“You know what,” he replied after a contemplative beat, “I don’t actually know. But—” he hand-waved my question away with his free hand. “It’s just what good boyfriends do.”
If he didn’t stop, I’d have a permanent smile on my face that could rival the Joker’s and then there’d be absolutely no fooling anyone. Not when the hearts in my eyes for Josh grew with each endearing word out of his mouth.