31. Josh #3
“I don’t think that’s it.” His fingers crooked a little deeper, causing me to jolt, my eyes opening from where they’d fallen shut. “Give me the real reason, Dove.”
The truth bubbled in the back of my throat, but I clenched my teeth, creating a barrier. The truth was slightly embarrassing and too telling, exposing me for the love-sick fool I’d always been for Josh, even back when I hadn’t known he could have been mine.
At my lengthy pause, his fingers threatened to leave me, sliding out.
“Because I wanted it to be you,” I rushed out, needing his fingers inside me. I couldn’t take any more of his teasing, I couldn’t take him stopping. A half-sob escaped me, but before I could beg him to continue he was lunging back down.
I felt more than heard his praise as he mouthed it against me, his lips brushing my hot, needy flesh.
Good girl. I had no idea why those two words held me in an inescapable chokehold but hearing them caused my head to go staticky, my body to heat, and my heart to palpitate in my chest. I’d give him any answer he wanted so long as he kept his mouth right where it was.
He adjusted his position, pinning my thighs open wider with his broad shoulders.
A moan escaped me as his tongue swirled around my sensitive clit the same time his fingers moved faster inside me.
His other hand remained on my stomach, fingers splayed across my lower belly to keep me still, his large palm pressing down to the point I was nearly shaking as waves of pleasure started spreading throughout my body.
“ Josh —” My warning choked off as the oddest sensation began building inside me. I wanted to warn him, but I didn’t know what to say. The strange pressure didn’t feel quite like I was used to yet somehow still familiar?—
I tensed, embarrassment flooding me as I realized what I was experiencing and why it felt familiar.
“Don’t fight it,” Josh whispered, as if he could read my mind.
A moment later his teeth grazed the hood of my clit in a jolt of sinful pain.
I shuddered on his fingers, riding the wave that was sure to take me under.
I trusted Josh and resisted fighting the strange feeling that started to grow, instead leaning into it until I was rocking down on his hand wantonly.
His fingers were huge inside me, caressing that hidden spot mercilessly like it was his and his alone to own and abuse.
Honestly, it was. No one had ever given my g-spot the kind of attention Josh was currently bestowing it.
I’d had a few almost moments where clumsy fingers had skimmed it inside of me, but my encounters were often quick and hasty, with a side of disappointment.
A one-off fueled by heartache and spite with a lonely, passing-through trucker in the bathroom stall at Harv’s that honestly had gone farther than I’d wanted it to, and then just Torrance after that.
And with him, it had always been more focused on his pleasure than my own, which I hadn’t minded at first because I’d been using him to distract myself from the gaping hole inside my heart that Josh left behind.
But as time passed, it grew cumbersome and frustrating to pretend.
There was only so much fake moaning a girl could do before you started to sound like a broken porno record.
But every sigh, moan, and gasp that fell from my lips was real with Josh. He was always so focused on me that I often had to fight to get him to let me reciprocate. There weren’t many times I’d managed to get Josh off before myself. It was nice to be put first, especially in bed.
The pressure was unbearable at this point, so much so that it had me gasping, arching both toward and away from the pleasure Josh was wickedly gleaning from me, causing me to writhe against the blankets as I sucked in ragged pants of air.
I moaned when his tongue lashed against my swollen clit, his fingers keeping up their assaulting rhythm inside me.
“That’s it,” he coaxed, his voice a low, wicked purr. “Almost there, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
As if the sweetly purred pet name was a buzz word, that pressure inside me crested, his fingers massaging me over the mountain and into a full-body freefall.
My mouth fell open in a silent scream as my legs clamped around Josh’s head, the lower half of my body shaking like a leaf.
It was like everything inside me just… released.
My mind cleared, letting go of any stress or worry as my body relaxed from where I’d been drawn taut like a bow; everything ceased to matter as I was overcome with a white-hot rush of pure ecstasy.
It was the most wonderful, amazing, weird , overwhelming sensation.
When everything ran its course, I collapsed back onto the soft makeshift bed, hardly remembering my damn name as I lay there looking up at the twinkling night sky.
I barely felt the slip of Josh’s fingers as they left me, so damn easy with how wet I was, too wet, if I could get my brain to focus on anything other than the faint tremor that still coursed through my body. I had enough strength left to twitch as he placed one last kiss to my oversensitive clit.
Josh sat back on his knees, his mouth shiny in the glow of the fairy lights, shiny from my release. Oh, god. He looked soaked in it, and I wasn’t sure if the dampness under my lower half was from lake water or because I?—
I couldn’t even think it.
Heat consumed my face as I laid there, and as if he could hear my mortified thoughts, he stroked my side soothingly.
“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” Josh confessed thickly. “I’ve never made a girl squirt before.”
Cramming down my embarrassment at what I’d just done, I mustered up enough energy to ask, “Never?”
He shook his head, grinning wolfishly as his tongue swiped at his lips before he wiped the remaining mess off his mouth with his other hand. “You’re the only one, Dove.” His head shook again in disbelief. “God, baby, you came so good for me.”
Satisfaction curled like a nestling dog in my stomach at his praise, at the fact I’d been his only for something, when he was my everything. I may never get to be his first, but a selfish, possessive part of me hoped to be his last.
But what’d he’d made me do… I’d heard of it before, but I’m sure Rev knew more about it.
She was practically my sex encyclopedia.
Honestly, it was likely I’d heard about it from her in passing.
She was always calling me from L.A. after a night out, usually to go into graphic detail how disappointing the men there were in bed.
I’d for sure be sending a text to her later, demanding her to tell me what the fuck that was, because there was no way in hell I was asking Josh for details right now.
My body was still quaking with aftershocks.
I’d never had an orgasm that intense before.
Ever. And I’d fallen prey to that damn rose toy, which could nearly suck the life out of you in three seconds.
Josh’s grin stayed plastered on his face as he crawled up my body. He hovered over me, looking his fill, likely taking pleasure in how wrecked he’d made me; how debauched I looked from only his mouth and fingers.
My body was just beginning to regain function, my mind floating down from its hazy high, as he braced himself over me, his mouth hovering right next to my ear.
I took a subtle inhale of his pine scent mixed with the smell of fresh lake water, an addictive combination that had a comforting wave of nostalgia blanketing me with an undercurrent of want.
“For the record,” he confessed like it was a secret, his lips tickling the shell of my ear, “I wanted it to be me, too.”
Then his mouth was back on mine, devouring me, and my body sparked back into action as I reached for him, wrapping my arms around his giant frame as I moaned into his mouth, tasting myself on his lips. I tugged him down onto me, clinging to him as my tongue caressed his.
His body was a cool relief to my overheated one, his damp skin a balm to the flames of desire consuming mine. I’d just come the hardest I ever had, and it still wasn’t enough.
I needed more.
My hands slipped down his ribcage to curl over his hips, guiding them into place until he was right where I wanted him. Josh hissed as the head of his dick slid through my folds, teasing both of us, tempting both of us.
I nudged my hips further up until I could feel him right along my opening, where all it would take was one downward movement and he’d be inside me.
Josh pinned my hips down.
I nearly choked on a cry.
“Condom, Dove.” His voice was pained, and it brought me a slim amount of pleasure to know that this was hurting him, too. “I need to put on a condom.”
“I’m on?—”
He cut me off with a fierce kiss. “Don’t tempt me,” he whispered against them gruffly, an edge of pleading in his words. “Make no mistake, I want you in all ways, Dove, but tonight I want to do right by you.”
I can hear all his regrets in that one sentence, and while I thought our time together this summer had washed most of them away, I guess there would always be a trace of them that remained between us.
But I wanted to move forward and beyond the past. I wanted Josh to be my future, for us to build one together, and the only way to do that would be if we were both on the same page.
One day I’d get to feel him sliding into me, hard and bare, but not tonight.
I nodded in agreement, kissing him back.
Josh’s relieved breath ghosted over my lips, and he reached into the basket behind us for the condom he must have hidden in their depths.