31. Josh #5
The jolt of pleasure my body experienced at those words had me filing it away for later. We’d be revisiting that for sure.
Until then…
I let myself get lost in the sensation of Josh taking me. With each snap of his hips my back arched, the outward drag of him hitting that spot inside me just right it had my whole body tightening like a bowstring with a notched arrow, waiting for Josh to release me so I could fly.
His hands memorized my body, cradling my hips, caressing my ribs, cupping my breasts until all I could feel, see, hear, was Josh.
He was taking up and overwhelming every one of my senses.
I had never anticipated it could be like this, like two people clicking into place to fit into one whole, complete piece.
“Josh,” I moaned into his mouth, where he was leaving biting kisses on my already-swollen lips. Tilting my head back, he happily continued his descent, nipping at the flush, damp skin of my neck with fervor.
“God, Dove, you feel so fucking good wrapped around me,” he rasped into my collarbone. “Like a damn dream I never want to wake up from.”
His breathing grew heavier in the way I’d grown to know he was close, and I wasn’t ready for this to be over.
Was it selfish of me to want this to last forever?
My body craved release, but my mind and heart never wanted it to end.
And if it had to end, I wanted to keep every part of this moment locked up in my memory, down to the bead of sweat making its way down the curve of his handsome face, so I could always remember.
I love you.
I caught the declaration in my throat just in time before it slipped out, because in the heat of the moment was not the right time to say those important words, even if he already knew. Even if I’d already said it to him. This felt different. This was different.
This was a woman giving her heart to a man and hoping that man kept it safe forever.
We couldn’t rewrite our past, but we could build our future together, and I so badly wanted his heart in return. I needed to know Josh gave it to me willingly, and not just because he knew I wanted it.
Josh always gave me what I wanted.
But what I wanted was for him to want me . Irrevocably. Unequivocally. Indisputably.
So, I kept those three words to myself, but hoped he felt them in the way I clung to him, hanging on to every kiss he gave me like a starved woman.
As if sensing I was too far in my head, Josh leaned back on his heels, and the change in position had me shaking, the drag of his cock inside of me that much more prominent. His hand came down to clasp around my throat, and we locked eyes.
His were wild with passion, taking in the sight of me under him possessively.
His fingers tightened on the sides of my neck as he gave a hint of a squeeze before his hand forged a blazing path down my body, stopping to palm one of my breasts and thumb over a peaked nipple before it moved on until it met my throbbing clit.
“ Please, Josh.” My pleading echoed across the still lake as he circled my swollen flesh teasingly.
His thrusts turned into a gentle rocking, and my arms slipped from him as I fell back, melting into the soft bedding behind me as his hands worked in tandem with his hips to glean pleasure from my body, coaxing another needy moan out of me.
“That’s it,” Josh praised. “Give it to me, sweetheart. I want to see you come, want to feel you squeeze around my cock knowing I’m the first and last man that’ll ever make you fall apart this beautifully.”
Any doubts I had of Josh being mine before vanished as his words circled my heart like a manacle, binding us together. My mouth fell open in a soundless gasp as he applied more direct pressure to my clit.
“I’m yours.” Josh punctuated his vow with a harder thrust. “And you’re mine, Dove.”
A sob tore from my chest and I nodded, easily agreeing, reaching for him so I could pull him to me and press my words to his lips. “ I’m yours.”
Growling, he ran his hands down my sides until he could lift me up, clutching me to him in a passionate embrace, holding me to his chest as he thrust up inside me. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders and held on, unable to keep the desperate sounds held in as he rutted up inside me.
“I want the whole town to hear you,” he snarled, voice low and feral. “Who’s the one fucking you so good you can hardly stand it?”
“Josh.” His name came out in a hoarse gasp.
“ Louder ,” he demanded, one hand wrapping around my waist to keep a hold on me as the other went into my hair, pulling it so my head was tilted back instead of pressed into the side of his neck.
“ Josh!”
I came with his name on my lips and his heart beating in my chest, because after that there was no doubt it belonged to him.
I wanted him to have it. I’d given it to him all those years ago and he’d never known.
But now he did, and it beat frantically in my chest, excited I was in its rightful owner’s arms.
Josh cursed, thrusting up into me until he went still, holding onto me tightly as he came with several twitches deep inside me.
As our heart rates settled we both stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms, catching our breath, soaking up the moment, until Josh gently laid me back down and pulled out of me carefully.
I winced, feeling oddly empty, and he apologized.
Curled up beside me, he brushed my sweaty curls out of my face.
“Was I too rough? I tried my best to be careful since it was your first time.” He lifted my hand, kissing my knuckles.
“But I’ll be honest, Dove, you felt so fucking good.
” The words tickled the back of my hand and butterflies erupted in my stomach.
“I kind of lost it there toward the end.”
“So, you enjoyed it?” I tried for nonchalant, but I was desperate to find out how I compared to the other women he’d been with.
Josh propped himself up on an elbow, looking down at me. “Are you kidding?”
“I mean.” I shrugged my shoulders, self-conscious. “I’ve never done it before, so I was hoping it was okay.”
Josh laughed. “It was more than okay, Dove. You were—” He shook his head. “There isn’t even a word, baby.”
A pleasant warmth spread through me. “You were pretty good yourself.”
“Pretty good?” Josh scoffed, affronted. “That’s all I get?”
I rolled so I was on my side, closer to him. I trailed my hand up his chest. “We can go again if you don’t like that answer.”
“You little brat.” Josh descended on me, tickling me until I was gasping for mercy.
“Fine, fine,” I wheezed out. “You were amazing, spectacular, best I ever had . ”
“The only you ever had,” Josh corrected, hovering over me like he had earlier with his muscular arms on either side of my head. “You don’t have to goad me into a second round, little dove. I’m all yours, now. You can have me whenever you want.”
I want you forever.
And maybe now I could have him that long without worrying.
Wrapping my arms around him, I tugged until he reluctantly laid his body down over mine.
“I don’t want to crush you.”
“You won’t crush me,” I whispered, enjoying this moment. “I like it.”
Josh nuzzled my neck, pressing a kiss behind my ear. “I like it, too. Feels right.”
Yeah, it did.
He did.
More than anything else in my life right now, and I wasn’t going to let anyone, or anything, get in my way from having Josh this time.
He was mine to keep.