Chapter 30
Jess
Isaw Brodie standing by one of the tables talking to a couple of women. He was wearing long shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. He was so handsome it hurt and I still couldn’t believe that we’d pretty much had rampant sex all night. The kind of sex that had rewired me for ever.
I’d woken late and had been completely disorientated until I’d found a note on the side table. Morning, I don’t want to wake you, I’ve left some breakfast things for you, come down whenever you’re ready.
For all I knew he could have looked at me this morning and wondered what the hell he’d been thinking. I felt a little insecure to know he’d been up and I’d been in such a pleasure-induced coma I hadn’t noticed.
I’d washed and changed into a white summer dress – one of Tasha’s designs – with wide straps and buttons down the front. A belt. There was a quirky design of big, bold colourful flowers splashed across the fabric.
Brodie must have sensed me staring at him like a groupie because he looked my way and instantly my insides swooped and dived. Oh, crap.
He smiled and beckoned me over, and when I got close he held out a hand. I took it and he pulled me into him, giving me a slightly wary look. I felt wary too. As if a layer of skin had been removed. Would he be pulling me close like this if he didn’t have to?
The two women he’d been talking to melted away, but I didn’t miss the look one of them gave me – pure envy.
But I didn’t feel any sense of feminine satisfaction.
Brodie had only pulled me close to keep up the facade.
Yes, we’d had sex until dawn had risen, but it didn’t mean anything.
It was just sex. And this was just pretend.
I felt like running after her and explaining that we weren’t really together. That I didn’t want us to be together, because that way would lead to certain pain.
The kind of pain I’d been avoiding for years. And, what was worse, I had a feeling that the pain I had experienced had just been injured pride, because that guy in university had never made me feel like I was a sex goddess and on a permanent emotional rollercoaster. The ground was suddenly uneven.
‘Thanks for bringing my sandals back.’ I’d noticed them at the end of the bed when I’d got up. Reminding me of what had led to leaving them behind in that gazebo. Like Cinderella. Not.
‘You’re welcome. Glad I could rescue them before the foxes got them.’
‘Yeah, Tash would not have been impressed.’ And then, ‘I’m sorry I missed the scavenger hunt. You should have woken me.’
‘Don’t worry about it – it wasn’t that exciting. I didn’t even have to hide behind a bush this year.’ I coughed to hide a laugh at that.
He said, ‘Looks like she’s found someone new to fixate on.’
I followed his gaze and looked across the crowd of his colleagues to see Cecily with her hand on the arm of a man who was looking at her and then around him as if slightly terrified.
‘Should we save him?’ I asked. But as we watched, Brodie’s boss went up to them and caught his wife’s arm, pulling her away.
He looked visibly irritated. I said, ‘Maybe she was just looking for a way to get her husband’s attention. ’
Brodie shuddered palpably beside me. ‘See? Chaos and drama. No thanks.’
‘Not all relationships are like that.’ I hated that I felt the need to counter his cynicism.
‘Perhaps not, but I have no intention of finding out.’
‘So you’re just going to be alone, for ever?’
‘That’s preferable to what I witnessed, believe me.’
Why did I feel the need to counter Brodie’s entrenched mistrust of love? Since when had I become love’s great defender? I clamped my mouth shut.
When Brodie said, ‘Let’s eat some lunch and then we can get on the road,’ I just nodded, suddenly eager to get back to the city where things might feel a bit more normal again.