Chapter 10
After a full night’s sleep in the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in (who knew silk pillowcases were worth the hype?), I wake up expecting to be able to sneak up for tea before Gia or Allie descend on me with a full breakfast cart.
Unfortunately, I underestimate how serious the crew is about meal times.
Trudging up to the salon with my unbrushed hair and pajamas, I’m met not only with a full breakfast spread, but with a remarkably chatty Harry and Steven.
Jules’s hair is flawlessly blown out, despite the humidity, and she sips her oat milk latte from a lavender silk pajama set.
“Not an early riser, I see,” Harry greets me cheerfully before I can sneak back downstairs. He holds out an empty mug. “Coffee?”
I eye the impressive feast in front of them, wondering how Allie and Gia could have prepared it all so quickly. It’s even decorated with napkin animals that are so ornate, they may as well be in an art gallery.
“I hope you’re hungry,” Harry tells me. “Russ made cinnamon rolls!”
I smile and slip into the seat beside him where a plate has already been laid out.
Silver carafes of coffee, tea and decaf are surrounded by smaller cups of milk labeled “whole,” “coconut,” and “oat.” Tiny silver spoons with the Vela Bianca monogram are spread neatly beside gold-rimmed saucers (real, I’m sure) that are begging to be heaped with the colorful fruit that’s laid out in a perfect rainbow beside them.
Papaya, pineapple, watermelon… I’ve seen worse spreads at the Four Seasons.
And by Four Seasons, I mean the Minneapolis Double Tree.
“Wow,” I start to say just as Allie walks out of the kitchen carrying a tray of buttery, golden pastries. I can smell the sugar overload from here.
“Oh Stella, you can’t miss these,” Steven says. “The chef makes them fresh every morning.”
I drift forward like a moth to a flame as Allie sets them down.
For a girl who has subsided exclusively on Chex for breakfast for the last decade, it’s almost enough to make me forget my little altercation with Caleb.
Almost. Not even a lethal amount of sugary baked goods can wipe my memory of last night’s standoff with Captain tight-ass.
“Guys,” I say as I load fresh-cut watermelon and mango onto my plate. “I’m really sorry about yesterday. Honestly, I haven’t been that drunk since I was, like, twenty. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Oh, c’mon, no apology necessary,” Harry assures me. “I’m sorry we had to abandon you, but Jules assured us that shaking you awake wouldn’t end well for anyone.”
“She’s not wrong,” I tell him. “I’m a sleep-flailer.”
“More like sleep-ninja,” Jules says. “I’ve sustained at least two black-eyes over the years from making the mistake of trying to wake Stella up in the middle of the night.”
Harry chuckles.
“Well I hope you at least got something to eat.”
“Gia found me a little something,” I lie, remembering what Caleb said about this getting back to Harry’s parents.
“Seriously, Stella, don’t sweat it,” Steven interrupts. “We should have warned you—trying to keep up with Matthew isn’t for the faint of heart.”
As if on cue, Matthew appears in the stairwell, his face unshaven and his hair matted against his head as if he’s been sleeping for a hundred years.
“Look who decided to grace us with his presence,” Harry quips as his brother slogs towards the breakfast bar. “I haven’t seen you up this early since 2004.”
Matthew doesn’t respond, only grabs for the carafe of dark roast and pours himself a heaping cup.
“That looks like the face of a man who’s ready to see some coral!” Jules jokes as she hands him a pastry. Matthew waves her away.
“Coral?” I ask.
“An underwater menagerie!” Harry declares. “Today we’re going snorkeling.”
Matthew throws his slippered feet on the counter as he sips.
“Ya, I’m gonna go ahead and bow out of this one.”
“No spectators today, Matty,” Harry declares, smacking Matthew on the shoulder. “This is an all for one and one for all adventure! You’ve got the whole kayak ride to wake up.”
Matthew groans.
“Kayaks? Can’t we just take the tender?”
“I think we could use a little bit of exercise,” Harry says. “Some bonding time with nature.”
“My stomach says otherwise,” Matthew moans, grabbing for one of the muffins. His brother side-eyes him.
“Maybe you should have considered that before your fifth glass of scotch.”
So I’m not the only one who overindulged yesterday. Steven gives me a sideways look from across the bar. This is going to be a long morning.
“Ok,” Jules, ever the diplomat, stands up and claps her hands together. I take it she’s as eager as I am to end this episode of Family Feud. “I’m going to get dressed. Jim says the kayaks should be ready in ten.”
“I’ll go with you,” Steven and I say simultaneously, and he winks at me just as I shove another cinnamon roll in my mouth for good measure. Behind us, I can hear Matthew and Harry bickering about Matthew’s overly strong cologne.
It doesn’t take me long to prep for our morning snorkel sesh, but I’m so excited I forget to close my sunscreen and sit right on it, staining the back of my floral bikini bottoms zinc white.
After trying in vain to rub it off, I give up and throw on another big t-shirt over my swimsuit.
My phone buzzes as I’m about to head out.
It’s Marianne.
“Hello?”
“Bula, babe! How’s lifestyles of the rich and famous? Have you run into DiCaprio yet?”
“Sadly, no Leo,” I tell her, instantly relieved to hear her voice. “But plenty of entitled male energy to go around.”
“I take it things haven’t improved with Le Capitan?”
“He’s literally the worst,” I seethe. “He treats me like a feral raccoon. I wish I could put a curse on him.”
“Stella!”
“Not a real curse—just the kind where he’ll never be able to find two matching socks again. Or every water bottle he ever owns gets a tiny leak in it. Anything to wipe that self-satisfied smirk off his stupid face. ”
“I don’t know Stella. I haven’t heard you talk about anything this passionately since the last presidential debate.”
“It’s not passion,” I spit. “It’s rage. Caleb is a wealth-worshiping, entitled jerk who’d probably throw his own mother overboard if the Warrens asked him to.”
“Stella!” I hear Jules call from the hall.
“Shoot, I gotta run.”
“Enjoy your ragefest. If I see any voodoo dolls in the gift shop, I’ll be sure to send one your way.”
When I make it up to the swim deck, the rest of the family are waiting beside three spotless neon kayaks as Jim helps them in.
I don’t realize til everyone’s seated that the last empty kayak is, like the rest of them, a double.
“Uh, is this one for me?” I ask.
“Sorry, we don’t have any single kayaks on board,” Jim tells me. “Should be fine though, just a little extra exercise for ya.”
“You can follow us on the reef,” Harry offers enthusiastically. “We’ll have a triple safety team!”
I look over at my sister’s massive life jacket. If her swimming abilities are anything to go by, we’ll be lucky if we make it ten feet away from the kayak.
“Oh no,” Jules says, shaking her head. “We can’t force Stella to tag along with us slowpokes. She’s a crazy good swimmer. Jim, can you come out with us? Show us some of the better spots?”
“Wish I could—I have some prep to do before the rest arrive. But we’ll have eyes on you from here. As long as you don’t venture more than twenty yards from the shore, you’re perfectly safe.”
I grab my snorkel bag from Jim’s feet and climb down the ladder into the green kayak. The plastic frame is so polished, you’d think it’d never been in the ocean before.
Do the Warrens throw away their used kayaks after every trip? Donate them to poor starving orphans?
But just as I’m about to push off, Captain Caleb marches past.
“Caleb!” Jules shouts, lifting her arm out of the water to wave. For a moment, I think he’s going to ignore her, but when he turns around his face is plastered with the outlandishly charming smile he uses on everyone but me.
“Good morning, Jules.”
“Are you off to do something important?” she asks sweetly, and I swear I see her eyelashes bat. How Jules ever learned to be so charming when I turned into—well, whatever it is I am—is completely lost on me. I guess every family needs a bit of balance.
“Nothing as important as you,” he answers earnestly. “Can I help you with something?”
No—please no. I know exactly what my sister is doing, and I’m just about to protest when Matthew bumps into my kayak and knocks my paddle into the water. I scramble to pick it up before it drifts away.
“Stella’s kayaking solo. Would you mind coming out with her and showing her the reef?”
“Uh,” Caleb’s face turns sour. I can practically see the battle taking place in his head—defy his precious employers, or suffer through three hours of close-contact with his sworn enemy?
“I’m not really—“
“She’s much more adventurous than the rest of us and I don’t want her to be held back in the kiddie zone,” Jules flashes him one of her million-dollar smiles.
“Seriously, I’m fine,” I say, not wanting to make the situation more uncomfortable for both of us. I’d rather be keelhauled than spend the morning trapped in a kayak with Assy McAssface. “I’m sure Caleb has more important things to do than take me snorkeling.”
“Really, I’d love to,” Caleb lies, “But unfortunately I have to help Jim prep the upper deck.”
“No need, Cap. Remi and I can take care of it,” Jim chirps, cheery as ever. “You’re free as a bird.”
Dammit, Jim. I look down at my knees to avoid giving away my disdain. Please say no. Please say no.
“C’mon, Caleb,” Harry calls to him. “Take a load off and join the expedition! I insist.”
“Well,” Caleb stammers awkwardly, and I don’t think I imagine the glare he shoots at Jim. “In that case, I guess I can’t refuse!”