Chapter 16 #2
The memory of it comes flooding back. My dad, alive and breathing—lifting me over the edge of the dock to watch the purple sea jellies bob and sway.
The smell of pine and the sound of metal moorings knocking together.
The three of us, up past dark, playing cards in the little kitchen of our rented cabin by the light of a rusted oil lamp.
His pockets full of rocks and shells that Jules and I collected as we combed the beach that he never let us take home.
“These belong to the land, Stelly,” he would tell me, his voice as warm as the fire that awaited us inside. “Let’s paint a picture of them instead.”
“What does a Kiwi boy know about Canada?” I ask Caleb.
“The Vela Bianca was docked there a few years ago, back when I was still First Mate. I haven’t stopped dreaming about it since. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.”
“My first memory is in the Gulfs,” I tell him.
“At least, I’m pretty sure it’s my first. It was just the three of us—my dad, Jules and me.
We used to rent the same old fishing cabin for two weeks every summer.
There was this one bay he took us to that turned bioluminescent at sunset.
I remember my dad jumped in with me off the dock—I was so afraid—and then the world lit up like the night sky.
I felt like I was swimming through the Milky Way. ”
“Sounds like you were pretty close with him.”
“That’s an understatement,” I tell him. “The three of us were best friends. Jules and I basically worshipped him.”
What would Dad think of me now? Risking my fellowship. Bending over backwards to avoid my loser ex. I was the rational daughter- the one who always took responsibility when things got messy. But where has it gotten me? I’ve become everything I tried so hard to avoid.
“How old were you when he died?” Caleb asks quietly.
“Barely eighteen. How did you know about that?”
The captain’s cheeks flush.
“Patricia told us before we met Jules.”
I bristle at the thought of my father’s name in Patricia’s mouth. Not even his name, I think—just a conveniently forgettable chapter in her new daughter-in-law’s old life.
“I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you.”
“Thanks,” I say sincerely. “Honestly, it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.
People assume it was hard for Jules and me to grow up without a mom, but for the most part, I didn’t really feel like anything was missing.
I never felt any lack of love. He had a way of making us feel like we were the only people that mattered in the world. Like we were capable of anything.”
“You’re lucky,” Caleb says after a moment.
“Lucky?”
“Some people go their whole lives without knowing a love like that.”
I look over at Caleb as he pushes a leaning palm out of the way for us to cross.
“I take it you’re not close with your parents?” I guess correctly.
“Hardly. My mom wasn’t exactly a model parent. Half the time she was off on a bender with some guy she met at AA, and the other half she was working double hours at the cannery. Most of the time my brother and I ended up living with my grandparents.”
I try not to look visibly shocked. From the way he carries himself, I assumed Caleb grew up reciting Latin in boarding school and crushing it on the rugby team.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, unsure what else to say.
“Don’t be. She’s alright, now—four years sober this fall.
But she made her choices, and I made mine.
From the time I was ten, I knew I wanted to get out of my hometown and do something with my life.
Kids where I’m from don’t usually leave.
This crew is my family, now. And we get paid to travel the world. Not sure I can ask for more than that.”
He’s trying to make me feel better, but internally I’m cringing. This job is clearly so important to Caleb. So why would he risk it flirting with me?
A girl in every port, I remember Will’s warning from the day we arrived. Just because Caleb’s a person with depth (who knew) doesn’t mean he’s not still a total womanizer. Maybe this is his deal. Work hard, play harder. Or, more likely, he’s just looking for attention.
Whatever his game is, it’s not going to work on me.
We come to a break in the trees that opens to a clearing bordered by dozens of small houses, some with palapa roofs and some with corrugated metal. Chickens poke about in overgrown grass that sways beneath long clotheslines.
“Finally!” I say as we step out onto the grass. “I was beginning to think this place didn’t exist.”
“Take off your hat,” Caleb tells me in a low voice, “and whatever you do, don’t touch anyone’s head.”
“Why would I touch someone’s head?” I ask him.
He shrugs.
“Who knows with Americans. The Fijians consider the head to be the most sacred part of the body. It’s highly offensive.”
There’s not a person in sight, but as soon as we break into the clearing, a pack of brown and white dogs come charging towards us, their tongues lolling. They gather around our legs and I kneel to greet them, giggling as they lick my salty shins and elbows.
Caleb, however, skitters backwards, positioning himself carefully behind me. I can see his whole body going stiffer than it did when we ran into the Tiger shark.
“Caleb,” I ask, looking him up and down. Is he seriously—
“Are you afraid of… dogs?”
“I’m not afraid of them,” he protests. “They’re just—so—“
He loses his train of thought as a shaggy brown dog with a large stick in his mouth leaps towards Caleb, throwing his paws up towards his stomach. Caleb throws his hands up and steps back into a muddy spot in the grass that nearly knocks him off balance.
“Unpredictable.”
“You’re totally terrified!” I announce triumphantly. Finally I’ve found something to shake the formidable Captain Flawless. “I mean, I don’t blame you. Just look at this vicious creature.”
One of the dogs has rolled over onto her back to show her speckled pink belly. I scratch her chest and she bats one of her back feet like a rabbit, drunk on affection.
“Can we drop it, please?”
“You heard him, buddy,” I look towards the brown dog who’s now sitting politely with his stick, ready to play. “Drop it!”
The dog does no such thing. Instead, he noses Caleb in the knee, smearing mud over his tan swim shorts. Caleb’s frown deepens.
I snort with laughter and grab the stick from the dog, tossing it back towards the river bed. All five of them take off in pursuit, their paws kicking up grass and mud as they tear into the jungle.
“So, is it the chaos that offends you, or are you just allergic to affection?” I ask smugly.
We duck under a clothesline strung between two houses and head towards a group of girls sitting together in the grass.
“I’m glad you find it so amusing.”
“Sharks, fine. Tropical storms? No problem. But there’s nothing scarier than—“ I lose my train of thought. “Patricia!”
“Huh?”
I break into a run towards the young girls in the grass. Because seated between them on the ground, a half-finished shell necklace in her hands, is none other than Harry’s mother.
“Bula!” one of the littlest ones shouts to me as I approach.
“Stella!” Patricia waves as soon as she sees us. “Look what we’re making!”
She beams at me, holding up her necklace for us to see.
I barely believe what I’m seeing. Even more surprising than the fact that Patricia is sitting on the ground is that she looks like she’s actually enjoying herself. Her perpetually unamused lips are curled into a genuine smile as she lets the girls help her string the tiny shells onto the wire.
“We wondered where you’d gotten off to,” Caleb tells her as he saunters up. “Arthur’s quite worried, I’m afraid.”
“I told him where I was going!” she says. “I swear, that man has a memory like Swiss cheese. Adi and her sister found me on the beach and invited me to join them for some crafts. I just couldn’t say no to that face.”
The girl I take to be Adi smiles so widely I can see two missing baby teeth in the back of her mouth. I think we may have actually found the ice queen’s soft spot.
“I can certainly see why,” Caleb smiles. He bends down to a crouch until he’s at the girls’ eye level. “But we might want to get moving before they send out another search party.”
Adi tugs on Patricia’s silk sleeve.
“Can we finish the necklaces first?”
“Of course!” Patricia gushes. If she didn’t have so much filler in her face, I’d think she might actually be smiling.
“I’ll just radio the rest and let them know we’re coming,” Caleb tells her. “You’ve got quite the search party out for you.”
Caleb steps away and speaks into his walkie as I sit down hesitantly between the girls.
“You know Stella,” she says without looking up from her shells. “I was a little hesitant when you first mentioned this plan of yours.”
If by a little hesitant she means outright horrified, I agree.
“But the whole experience has been quite delightful. It’s good for Matthew to see how he can give back. It’s about time he put his energy towards something that doesn’t come clad in a rhinestone bikini.”
Hold the phone. Is Patricia, queen of callousness, sworn enemy of the progressive working class, actually… thanking me?
“I’m… so glad you think so,” I choke out. “I’m really impressed by everything Joanna and Chris are doing for the ocean and the community.”
“I agree,” she says. “What they’re doing here is very special.”
I’m actually speechless. Is Caleb hearing this, too? I look over at him, but he’s already smirking back at me, his expression soft, but not self-satisfied. Within his gaze is just a hint that, behind those milky blue eyes, Satan’s henchman might have something like a soul.
“You girls look so beautiful,” Patricia says as she ties off her finished necklace and places it over Adi’s neck. “Now, who can show me the fastest way back to the Marine Center?”