32. Declan
DECLAN
I think somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I knew I was going to break her heart that day.
That’s why I didn’t tell her I loved her back.
I did love her, of course. I’ve been in love with Skylar Galloway since the moment her eyes lit up when she thought I had never seen her favorite movies.
When she took my hand and led me to her house.
When she stole my first kiss. Subconsciously, I knew it had happened.
I felt different when I woke up on that couch.
Just like I knew the moment I pushed into her for the first time that I wouldn’t be able to keep her.
I still told her she was mine because she was.
She always would be. But I knew I couldn’t say the words to her yet.
I couldn’t say them when she barreled back into my life with a champagne bottle, demanding a cigarette, and I couldn’t say them when she offered her body to me again.
I couldn’t say them when she was dying in my arms in that car, confessing her own love to me, or when she couldn’t wake up in the hospital or even after she woke up but couldn’t speak.
But now? In our house, in our bed, as I watch her softly breathing, the scent of green apple shampoo grounding me, I can finally say it out loud.
I wait until her eyes blink open, a smile curving her lips as soon as she sees me sitting on the bed.
“I love you.”
A tear forms in the corner of her eye. “I know.”
Her voice is still scratchy. It’s been two days since she was released from the hospital, almost a week since the accident.
She was asleep for three days after surgery.
For three days, I went insane until those beautiful green eyes parted and everything made sense again.
She’s been sleeping most of the time since we got home, her body still recovering from the trauma and surgery, so we haven’t had a chance to talk much.
I want to know if she remembers the accident, why she was driving that road at night, or what she said to me in the car.
But I don’t want to force her to talk before she is ready.
And then there’s my mom. How did she know where Skylar was?
Was she involved in what happened? Her involvement is hard to imagine, but the situation doesn’t add up.
I’ve tried calling her multiple times, but she doesn’t answer.
Even Amelia, who came to the hospital the day after surgery, is in the dark because I don't want to involve her until I know what the fuck is going on.
I know I have to deal with this, but I only just got Skylar back, and all I want to do is hold her.
She reaches her hand up to graze my cheek. “I love you too.”
“I know.”
We haven’t had a conversation about what we’re going to do. About the marriage, the trust fund, any of it. We may be avoiding the inevitable, but it’s so comfortable here in the space where we don’t have to think or worry about any of it, where we can just be together.
I slide into the bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her as she presses her back to my front. My hand subconsciously drifts over her chest, her heartbeat soothing me.
She lets out a hoarse laugh. “You don’t have to do that.”
I rub my nose along her hair, inhaling her scent. “Do what?”
“Check to make sure my heart is still beating.”
“Was I?”
“You’ve been doing it every night,” she says.
“Oh.” My eyes grow heavy. I haven’t been sleeping at all. She’s right. I’ve been lying awake feeling her heartbeat and watching the rise and fall of her chest.
“Declan?”
“Yeah?” My voice is thick with exhaustion.
“I remember what happened.”
Those four words force the sleep from my eyes and they snap open. Gently turning her toward me, I search her features. “Before the accident?”
She nods. “Yes. It’s sort of been coming back in waves, so I didn’t want to mention anything, but then this morning it all…clicked.”
I sit up, letting the blanket slide off my torso. “What—”
“Before I explain, I have to tell you something else.”
My hackles rise a little, but I don’t let on. “Okay.”
“A few weeks ago, Emory mentioned something to me about your father. That I should be careful.” She sits up, mimicking my position.
“I started looking into him. I didn’t find much; just an arrest record, but it was sealed so I couldn’t get any information.
Then the day of the accident, I got a text.
It was from an unknown number with an address.
I went there and someone had left me all these papers—evidence—of your father’s firm taking advantage of struggling companies, essentially driving them to bankruptcy and then acquiring them and absorbing their assets. ”
Skylar moves her hand and I realize I’m holding on to it, squeezing so hard I might be hurting her. I immediately drop it like it's on fire.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to until I had all the facts.
” She looks down, fiddling with the locket I gave back to her when she woke up.
“There’s more. The arrest record was there.
The actual record.” She bites her lip like she does when she’s turned on or worried, and she’s definitely not turned on right now.
“It was domestic assault, Declan. I—I’m so sorry. ”
I don’t give her shit for apologizing because she’s not sorry for taking up space, she’s sorry that my life is so fucked up.
I obviously knew about the arrest record, but not even Nate could get the unsealed version.
I had a feeling about the rest. I knew he was up to something shady, but I didn’t know exactly what it was.
He hid shit from me when I worked for him.
I was specifically excluded from certain meetings and left off email chains.
He knew I would blow it up and use it against him.
He knew. This whole fucking time he knew I was better than him, but he tried to make me think I was the same.
Domestic fucking assault?
I swear to God, if he touched a hair on my mother’s head, I’ll fucking end him myself.
“Declan,” Skylar pleads, and that’s when it all clicks into place.
Skylar was looking into my father. Someone close to him knew and was trying to help her or set her up.
Either way, he found out. He found out she had everything needed to fuck up his whole carefully curated life and he…
I can’t even think the words, let alone say them out loud.
In one swift motion, I leap from the bed, pacing back and forth in front of it.
“Declan,” she says again.
“He—he…fuck.” I can barely force sounds from my mouth. “Skylar,” I try again. “Are you telling me my dad tried…”
“I got a text while we were sleeping that night. It was from another unknown number, but a different one from the first. It was from someone who wanted to meet, even go on the record about what was going on. They told me to go to the same address as earlier. I went to my office to get a recorder, and then I started to drive there.” The tears falling down her cheeks don’t soften my anger, they only fuel it.
“I know I shouldn’t have gone alone. It was so stupid.
I should have told you. I should have woken you up. ”
I sit down on the bed next to her again, cupping her cheek, attempting to communicate that my anger is not directed towards her. She melts into my hand, still speaking.
“There were headlights. They were coming straight at me. I had nowhere to go, Declan. I swerved and then everything went black. When I woke up, you were there, holding me.”
“Shhh,” I rub her back, her tears falling and staining my shirt.
“I remember everything. You held me, and I told you about the kiss and that I loved you. I meant every word, Declan.”
“I know, baby.” I slide a hand down her back and under her shirt, feeling the warmth of her skin on mine. “I know.”
My brain cannot physically compartmentalize all the information I just received.
My dad has been doing all kinds of illegal shit with his company.
He was arrested for potentially hurting my mom.
He tried to fucking kill my wife. Yet, at the center of all of it is the fact that Skylar remembered telling me that she loved me in that car.
That I was her first kiss.
That she was mine.
I have to hold onto that silver lining, because if I don’t, I’ll fall apart, and I need to be strong for her.
I’m not the broken kid I was six years ago.
I will fight back. I will make this right, but first, I’m going to hold Skylar until she falls asleep again.
I’m going to lay my hand on her heart, and I’m going to watch every single breath course through her body.