Chapter 14
Annalise
Walking into the second level of the paddock, I am relieved to see that no one else is in here.
There’s less than an hour before the Suzuka race and the drivers are in the middle of the driver’s parade.
I watched the crowd cheer as they all waved while rounding the track, but then I remembered all of the emails waiting for my attention and decided to do a little work before the start of the race.
At least, that’s what I tell myself. The other reason I decided to escape the chaos downstairs is because every time the camera panned to Max, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. All I kept thinking about is the feel of his lips moving over mine, four nights ago.
I haven’t talked to or spent any alone time with him since he stormed off after my harsh response to his unexpected kiss. And I can’t stop thinking about the spark that ignited in his eyes when I asked him what the hell he was doing.
It was almost … hurt?
No, that doesn’t make sense.
Max isn’t the type to get hurt by a little rejection.
He has too many women on his roster to care about one tiny repudiation.
Besides, I suspect the only reason he’s even trying to be in my space is to get to Travis somehow.
Maybe he thinks if I fall for him or something it’ll mess with my brother’s head, rendering him unable to compete to his highest potential.
Either way, that’s not going to happen.
Shaking off the thoughts, I open my laptop, taking a seat at the table at the center of the room.
There’s a message from Norm, who isn’t here this weekend.
It’s the first email I open, hoping he’ll have some news on the Luca Taylor situation.
Travis asked me about it just the other day and I had nothing to give him.
My stomach twists in knots as I skim over Norm’s email to see it’s in regards to a completely different sponsorship deal. Potential good news, but it still weighs on me that there’s no word from Taylor.
My fingers hover above the keyboard as I contemplate whether or not to go into the Taylor file and read over those emails again and perhaps send another follow-up email.
“Don’t build the wall.”
My OCD therapist’s words come back to me, reminding me not to feed a potential obsession or intrusive thought. At times, easier said than done.
I sigh and start typing out a response to Norm before adding to my to-do list to do some research on this latest company when the door opens.
“No, he doesn’t want to do it.”
My back goes straight at the volume of Edwin’s voice. He and I have crossed paths many times over the years, especially now that Max drives for Amato. It still grates on my nerves how loud he can be.
“Tell them to stop bloody asking,” he insists before hanging up the phone and tossing it on the table, startling me.
“Oh, Annalise.” His tone switches on a dime.
“Edwin, how’s it going?” I ask to be friendly. My attention returns to my laptop, trying to finish up before the race starts.
“Can’t believe the insistence of some people.” Edwin gestures toward his phone. “That was someone from the FIA. They’re calling to ask if Max wants to drive Severino’s old Amato car in Sao Paolo this year.”
I sit up straighter, taking my attention off of my laptop for the first time. “Really?”
“Right?” he huffs. “Can you believe it? He tells them ‘no’ every bloody year. They’re being insistent this year since he’s driving for Amato, I suppose.” Edwin sucks his teeth, shaking his head.
“That would be—”
“Embarrassing,” Edwin talks over me. “Exactly what I thought. Which is what I told them. Max doesn’t belong in anyone’s shadow. Not even the late, great Severino Ferreira.”
I flinch at the rather callous way he spits out Max’s father’s name. As far as I’ve seen, Edwin and Max are close … more than agent—or manager or whatever Edwin’s role is—and client. They behave more like friends.
Max has always been reticent in speaking in public about his father, sticking to brief comments on his legendary status, even when certain journalists probe for more.
“He would hate that,” Edwin finishes.
I quiet my thoughts and nod. It’s not my business. Edwin knows Max better than I ever will, so he must be speaking Max’s true feelings.
“I should get downstairs.” I close my laptop and start for the first level to be in position for the start of the race. As I leave, I get the strangest suspicion that there’s a pair of eyes on my back the entire time I walk away.
“There you are,” Alyssia says, smiling as I come up beside her. “Did you get your emails done?” She bounces Lucky on her shoulder, swaying back and forth.
I smile at my nephew before responding, “Some. I’ll get back to them after the race.”
She chuckles. “I tell Travis all of the time that his life wouldn’t work without you. I honestly doubt he would’ve won the championship if he didn’t have you in his corner.”
My smile widens but a weight settles just a little bit deeper inside of my chest at my sister-in-law’s words.
“Our lives,” she adds, looking between me and Lucky. “You’re a godsend to all three of us. I mean that.” The sincerity glowing in her eyes gave it away before her words did.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her in for a sideways hug before pressing a kiss to the top of Lucky’s head.
At the same time, I beat back the intrusive thoughts that try to tell me I failed to reserve the right tickets for Travis, Lucky, and Alyssia’s return flights and I need to run upstairs and double check before the race starts.
“You said you received the confirmation for the return flight, right?” I ask Alyssia.
The way her brows lift, reminds me that I’ve already confirmed this with her. Before she even left Monaco for Japan.
Alyssia knows how to respond when I start asking too many questions.
“Our guy’s starting.” She juts her head to the screen, gracefully ignoring my question and redirecting our attention.
A hush gathers over the crowd the moment the drivers are lined up. Travis is starting from the third place position. Max is directly behind him.
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the start of your Suzuka Grand Prix,” the announcer’s voice sounds over the crowd.
Breaths are held, fists clenched, ohs and ahs sound as the drivers at the front duel it out for first place. It’s tight and there are at least three lead changes within the first lap of the race.
“This is going to be an interesting one,” someone behind Alyssia and I say.
Knowing there are cameras and journalists roaming about, I work hard to compose my features and observe the race from a technical standpoint.
Travis is doing well, having just passed one driver to edge his way up from fifth place to third.
With about twenty more laps to go, if he can hold out, he’ll earn himself a podium spot.
My heart constricts when I see Max’s car easing up behind him.
“This could get interesting,” the English commentator starts. “Two teammates battling it out for third place. What do you think will— Oh no!”
The screen cuts out and immediately goes to another part of the track where other drivers are racing in order to cease filming of the crash that just happened.
Beside me, Alyssia stiffens. I sense the fear radiating off of her.
“They crashed into one another,” she says just above a whisper while the entire Amato garage and paddock is in a flurry.
Travis and Max just crashed into one another. It’s not until seconds later, once it’s been confirmed that both drivers are okay, that the screen replays the accident in full.
“Here, we can see it looks like Max was trying to slip through the hole Travis created on the inside, and he just couldn’t do it.”
The commentator’s words replay the events of the accident while I watch broken metal and parts break away and fly into the air. A pit in my stomach is the answer to the question of whether or not either car is drivable after that crash.
I’ve been around long enough to know how severe an accident is just from the sound alone.
This one ended the race for both Max and Travis. The absolute last thing any team wants to happen in a race.
“That motherfucker!” I flinch as my brother’s rageful voice fills the garage. “I had the position. What the hell were you doing?”
“Hey,” Drake’s voice interrupts what I suspect was going to be Max’s comeback.
Before I know what’s happening, someone’s stomping off angrily. The Amato staff are seemingly in shock at the explosion between the two. Shock mixed with extreme disappointment.
All the while, the large screen plays the accident over and over, from different angles. I watch as Max’s car comes up behind Travis’ who aggressively defends his position, but Max doesn’t let up.
He was as, if not more, aggressive in his pursuit of that third place position since the start of the race which he’d lost after a pit stop. If he would’ve backed off, the crash wouldn’t have happened, I reason, growing more upset on my brother’s behalf.
“I’m going to try to talk to him. To calm him down for a little while,” Alyssia says.
I nod. “Good idea.” She’s probably the only one who can reason with Travis right now.
I decide to make myself scarce, in part to hide my disappointment. Though I should be a good sport and stay to watch the remainder of the race, I head back upstairs. I’ll search out my brother later, since I know after Alyssia he’ll have to talk with his team principal.
“Oh,” I let out my surprise upon seeing Max alone in the upstairs room.
He’s pacing back and forth, shoulders hunched as he mumbles something to himself. A memory from nearly eight years ago resurfaces. Another accident he had with my brother.
He was responsible for that one too.
“You did that on purpose,” I accuse, slamming the door behind me. My comment an angry ball of flames hurled in his direction.
His vision lasers down on me. “What was that, princess?”
My teeth itch at his sneer.
“Travis had the position.”
One second Max is standing across the room, and the next, he’s directly in front of me. His gaze beating down on me, holding me in his snare.
“The position was mine to take.”
“You sideswiped him on purpose,” I accuse though I don’t know if I believe that.
“Maybe your precious brother just wasn’t good enough to hold me off.”
“Ha!” I scoff. “Or you were just being a dirty driver.”
His top lip jumps, revealing a flash of teeth. “Right, because I’m not good enough to earn this win. I’m a, what did you call me?” He snaps his fingers. “A waste was it?”
I’m shaking my head. “I never said—”
“Bullshit,” he cuts off. “I heard you. Two years ago, in Monaco. You called me a waste—”
“No,” I cut him off this time. “I never said that. I never would’ve said that,” I say louder when his lips part as if he’s about to call me a liar. “I know I didn’t say it because it’s not true. And I’m not a fucking liar.
“What I said was that your behavior is a waste of your potential. You’re the most technically skilled driver on the damn grid and yet you don’t act like it.
“You waste your time and talent staying out late, treating yourself and your career like it’s a big joke, but you’re the one who’s not clued in on it. You have the potential to be better than anyone out there. The talent is yours, but you lack the heart.”
I push out a harsh breath, remembering the very words I said two years ago to a friend while out at a club the night before the race. Max was also there and must’ve overheard me.
“That’s what the hell I said.”
By the time I’ve finished I’m breathing heavy, Max is breathing heavier, and an almost palpable energy coats the air surrounding us. It weighs on us, drawing us chest to chest. Max’s hand rests on my arm, and for the life of me, I can’t remember the moment he first touched me.
He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes do a lot of talking. I become mesmerized by the way they’ve darkened, giving off that golden shine that I’ve seen before.
I refuse to take my words back.
I meant every one. Even if it aches to admit how highly I think of him as a driver and it feels like a betrayal to say out in the open like this.
“Max, mate!” Edwin’s voice cuts through the tension. “That Townsend is a bloody wanker!” He bursts into the room.
I snatch my arm out of Max’s hold, and he takes a step back, allowing me the space to try to normalize my breathing. Edwin stops short, and I feel his eyes on me but I don’t look his way.
“I’m going to find Travis,” I say as if I need to explain myself.
I move past Edwin, who has remained silent, but keeps looking my way.
“Oh,” I say, finally pausing to look at Edwin, though I feel Max eyeing me. “Watch how you speak about my brother.” I glare at him before exiting the room.