Chapter 13
JORDAN
Saturday morning stretches ahead of me with the kind of emptiness that feels heavier than it should.
Henry sleeps on my chest, his tiny body rising and falling with each breath, while I drift in and out of consciousness on the couch.
It’s been over a week since Amy’s accident, and the routine Alexa and I have established has become the framework holding my life together.
But today she’s not coming until later. Today it’s just me and Henry, and the silence in the house feels oppressive in a way that surprises me.
I scroll through my phone with one hand, careful not to disturb Henry’s sleep. Social media updates from colleagues, news articles I’ll never read, email notifications I should probably address. Nothing that really matters. Nothing that fills the restless feeling growing in my chest.
The truth is, I’m lonely. More than lonely.
I’m surprised to find that I wish Alexa were here, and not just to help with Henry.
I wish she were here with her easy laugh and the way she makes everything feel manageable.
The way she talks to Ash like his opinions matter.
The way she looks at me sometimes, like she sees something worth looking at.
She’s smart, beautiful, and capable. The kind of woman I would have been drawn to, even before my life got turned upside down. But I can’t help wondering about Ash’s father. Where is he? Why isn’t he in the picture? Did he leave, or did something happen to him?
I want to ask, but I don’t dare. Because if I start asking questions about her life, she might start asking questions about mine. And there are things I’m not ready to explain. Things I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to explain.
My phone buzzes with a notification, and I see an event listing for a comic con happening in downtown Boston today. For a moment, I just stare at the screen, remembering the conversation at dinner the other night about superheroes, about Ash’s excitement when he talks about comic books.
Henry stirs on my chest, making soft baby sounds as he wakes up. His dark eyes blink open and focus on my face, and he gives me a smile.
“What do you think, buddy?” I whisper. “Want to get out of the house for a while?”
The idea forms before I can talk myself out of it. Alexa isn’t supposed to come over for another few hours, but maybe she’d want to do something fun with Ash. Maybe they’d want to come to the comic convention with Henry and me.
Or… maybe I just want an excuse to see her sooner.
I call her number before I can overthink it.
“Jordan? Is everything okay?” Her voice is warm but concerned, and for a second, I think this was a bad idea. It’s too late to back out, though.
“Everything’s fine. I was just wondering if you and Ash would want to go to comic con today. There’s one happening downtown, and I thought Ash might enjoy it.”
There’s a pause, and I can hear movement in the background, probably Ash getting excited just hearing the words “comic con.”
“That sounds amazing,” Alexa says, and I can hear the smile in her voice. “Ash is practically bouncing off the walls just from hearing you say the words. What time?”
“How about in an hour? We can meet at the car.”
“Perfect.”
After we hang up, I feel lighter than I have all morning. Something to look forward to. Somewhere to go that isn’t the hospital or the grocery store. A chance to see Alexa smile when Ash gets excited about meeting people in costume.
An hour later, we’re walking through the convention center, and Ash’s enthusiasm is infectious. He’s wide-eyed at the costumes, fascinated by the vendor booths, completely in his element discussing the merits of different comic storylines with anyone who will listen.
Alexa pushes Henry’s stroller while I carry a bag of comics Ash has carefully selected, and there’s something so natural about the four of us moving through the crowds together. Like we’re a family. Like this is what Saturday adventures always look like.
“This is incredible,” Alexa says, watching Ash pose for a picture with someone dressed as Captain America. “I had no idea these things were so busy.”
“They’ve gotten bigger over the years. The production value on some of these costumes is amazing.” I adjust the comics I’m carrying as we walk past a group of people dressed as The Avengers. “Some of these fans put more effort into their costumes than the actual movie studios do.”
“Do you ever dress up for these things?”
I laugh. “Not since I was a teenager. Amy used to convince me to go as Batman while she went as Wonder Woman. We thought we were so cool.”
“I bet you were. Ash has been begging me to help him make a Spider-Man costume for Halloween. Maybe you could give me some tips, since you have experience.”
“I’d be happy to help. Fair warning, though—Amy was the creative one. I was just the guy who wore whatever she put together.”
“I’m sure you’re being modest.” Alexa smiles. “You seem pretty capable at most things.”
The compliment makes me feel warm in a way that has nothing to do with the crowded convention center.
My phone buzzes, and I check it automatically, hoping for news from the hospital. Nothing. Just a spam text.
“Jordan!” Ash appears at my elbow, practically vibrating with excitement. “Can we go to the Marvel booth? They have actual props from the movies!”
“Absolutely.”
We spend the next hour exploring the different booths, and I find myself genuinely enjoying the experience. Ash’s joy is contagious, Alexa’s laughter fills the spaces between conversations, and Henry seems content to watch all the colorful costumes from his stroller.
I’m watching Ash examine a display of vintage comic books when I notice a familiar face across the vendor floor. Enoch Harrison, one of the radiologists from the hospital, is working at what appears to be a VIP booth for meet-and-greets with celebrity guests.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Alexa, then walk over to Enoch.
“Jordan! What are you doing here?” Enoch grins and gives me a quick handshake. “Taking a break from your time off?”
“Something like that. Hey, is that the VIP section you’re working?”
“Yeah. My brother runs the event-management company that handles the celebrity appearances. It’s pretty awesome.”
I glance back at Ash, who’s staring longingly at a poster advertising photo ops with the movie star Camden Qisha. “The kid I’m with is a huge fan. Any chance you could help us out?”
Enoch follows my gaze and sees Ash practically pressed against the display case. “He likes Ironveil?”
“Lives and breathes comics. This would really make his day.”
“Say no more.” Enoch pulls out his radio. “Hey, Tom? I’ve got a doctor friend here with a kid who would love to meet Camden Qisha. Can we work something out?”
Ten minutes later, I’m walking back to Alexa and Ash with three VIP passes in my hand.
“What’s that?” Alexa asks, eyeing the lanyards suspiciously.
“VIP passes. Ash is going to get to meet Camden Qisha.”
Ash’s eyes go so wide I think they might pop out of his head. “Are you serious? Like, actually meet him?”
“Actually meet him. Photo, autograph, the whole thing.”
“Mom!” Ash grabs Alexa’s arm. “Did you hear that? I’m going to meet Ironveil!”
Alexa looks at me with something between amazement and concern. “Jordan, those passes must cost a fortune. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I pulled some strings. A colleague of mine is working the event.” I hand her a pass, then lean in to whisper to her. “Besides, Ash’s reaction is worth more than whatever these cost.”
She bites into a smile, and a level of happiness I didn’t think was possible right now bubbles up in my chest.
The VIP area is cordoned off with velvet ropes, and there’s a much smaller, more manageable crowd. When it’s Ash’s turn to meet Camden Qisha, I’ve never seen a kid more excited.
“Hi there,” Camden says, crouching down to Ash’s level. “I hear you’re a big fan.”
“I’ve seen all the Ironveil movies like a hundred times,” Ash says, his voice slightly breathless. “And I have almost every comic from the Moon Tower storyline.”
“That’s awesome. Moon Tower is one of my favorites too.” Camden signs a poster and hands it to Ash. “What’s your name?”
“Ash. Well, Ashton, but everyone calls me Ash.”
“Nice to meet you, Ash. Want to take a picture?”
I watch through the camera lens as Ash poses with his hero, and I can see tears in Alexa’s eyes as she watches her son’s dream come true.
“Thank you,” she whispers to me while the photographer captures the moment. “You have no idea what this means to him.”
“I can see what it means to him. That’s enough.”
After the photo session, Ash is practically floating on air. He clutches his signed poster like it’s made of gold and talks nonstop about every detail of the conversation.
“Did you see how he remembered my name the whole time? And he said Moon Tower was his favorite too! Mom, can we frame this picture? Can we put it in my room?”
“Of course we can,” Alexa says, squeezing his shoulder. “This is definitely going in a place of honor.”
But I can’t stop checking my phone. Every few minutes, I pull it out, hoping for something. A call from Dr. Rockaway. A text update. Any sign that Amy’s condition has changed.
“Everything okay?” Alexa asks after I check my phone for what must be the tenth time in an hour.
I feel heat creep up my neck. “Yeah, sorry. Just… work stuff. You know how it is.”
She studies my face for a moment, and I can see she doesn’t buy my excuse. “On a Saturday? When you’ve taken a month off?”
“Medical emergencies don’t follow a schedule.”
It’s another not-quite-lie, but Alexa’s expression tells me she’s not convinced. Still, she doesn’t push, just nods and turns her attention back to Ash, who’s explaining the difference between DC and Marvel universes to a vendor.
The guilt sits heavy in my chest. I’m lying to someone who’s been nothing but kind to me, someone who’s helping me hold my life together while everything falls apart.
But I can’t tell her the truth. I can’t explain that my sister might never wake up, that Henry might never see his mother again, that I’m terrified I’m not enough to take care of a baby who deserves so much more than what I can give him.
So, I keep checking my phone, and I keep making excuses, and I hate myself a little more each time.
“Jordan, look!” Ash holds up a comic book featuring Iron Man. “This is the one where he builds the Mark 50 armor!”
“That’s a good one,” I tell him, forcing a smile. “You have excellent taste.”
And for a moment, watching Ash’s excitement and seeing Alexa’s proud smile, I forget about everything else. For a moment, this feels like enough.
Until my phone buzzes again and the cycle starts all over.
By the time we head home, I’m exhausted from the constant anxiety, from checking my phone every few minutes, from pretending everything is fine when everything is anything but.
“Thank you for today,” Alexa says as we pull into my driveway and Ash bolts out of the car and into his house with the poster. “He had the best time. This was exactly what he needed.”
“What about you?” I ask. “Did you have a good time?”
“I did. It was nice to see you relaxed and having fun.” She pauses, studying my face again. “Even if you did seem distracted.”
“Sorry about that. Like I said, work…”
“Jordan.” Her voice is gentle but firm. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. But if you ever want to talk about whatever’s really going on, I’m here.”
The kindness in her voice almost breaks me, and suddenly I want to tell her everything. I want to collapse under the pressure of keeping this secret and let someone else help me carry it.
Instead, I just nod and thank her again for coming with us.