Alex
Thirty-five
I wake before the alarm, stiff from a night spent on Eloise’s floor.
Once I got Anastasia out of my bedroom last night, it felt like about five minutes passed before Eloise appeared.
It’s not like her to get out of her bed, but she was rattled and said she’d had a bad dream, so I went with her to help her get settled again.
It seems that took long enough that I spent the rest of the night in her room.
Now the blanket is half tangled around my legs, and my shoulder protests when I shift against the wall.
I turn my head toward the bed and find Eloise still asleep, one arm wrapped around her Hello Kitty and the blanket twisted near her feet.
The sight steadies me in a way very little else can—especially once I remember Anastasia is still under my roof.
My mother is determined to insert herself into everything. Yet none of that reaches this room.
A rustle comes from the bed, and Eloise blinks sleepily toward me. She squints for a moment, as though trying to understand why I’m on the floor, and then pushes herself upright. Before I can say anything, she climbs down from the bed and shuffles across the small stretch of carpet separating us.
“Morning, bug.”
“Morning,” she mumbles, curling against my side. I slide an arm around her, and she leans into me with the complete confidence of a child who has never questioned whether she belongs. The familiar weight of her against me fills my heart with warmth.
For several minutes, neither of us says much.
“Daddy?”
I look down at her. “Yeah?”
She hesitates, studying the blanket rather than my face. The pause tells me she has been thinking about whatever she wants to say for a while.
“Why is my mom here with Gran?”
The question doesn’t surprise me, but answering it still requires care. Eloise deserves honesty without my baggage.
“Your mom came to spend time with you,” I explain.
Eloise absorbs that quietly, and she doesn’t react right away. “Just me?” she clarifies after a moment.
I nod. “She wanted to see you.” When she doesn’t reply, I smooth a hand over her hair and shift the subject slightly. “Maybe today should be about doing things you like.”
That gets her attention. “Like dance?”
“Exactly.” I smile down at her. “It’s Saturday, and you have dance.
Maybe your mom could come along.” Once again, I have no idea of the right answer here.
I don’t want to pick a fight with Anastasia or my mother, but Anastasia is a stranger to Eloise, and I won’t force my daughter into a relationship with someone she barely knows.
Eloise seems to consider that. I’m careful not to push. Yesterday brought enough to her plate without me trying to force another adjustment before breakfast. But I suppose I have to give Anastasia a chance, and Eloise needs an opportunity to decide how she feels about it.
She shifts beneath the blanket and leans more heavily against my side, though she doesn’t meet my eyes. “I’d rather Zara take me.”
The response catches me by surprise, though I make sure none of it reaches my face. “Zara’s pretty hard to compete with.”
Eloise nods, looking relieved that I haven’t argued with her.
“It’s just that your mom and Gran want to spend time with you today.” I keep my voice light. “Maybe we could all go together,” I suggest. “Then afterward you could have lunch somewhere with your mom and Gran. Maybe that tea place Gran likes.”
“I don’t like that place,” Eloise declares.
I bite the inside of my cheek and study the top of her head while she folds her arms across her chest.
This isn’t about having lunch or the tea place.
I tighten my arm around her shoulders. “That’s okay.”
Eloise remains tucked against my side for another minute, quietly tracing patterns across the blanket. I can almost see her mind moving on to something else.
“Daddy?”
I glance down at her. “Yeah?”
She tilts her head back to look at me. “Can we go to the vineyard later?”
My eyes widen. “The vineyard?”
She nods. “I want to see Josie.”
A smile appears before I can stop it. Of all the things she could have asked for… Some of the weight I’ve been carrying since yesterday lifts slightly.
“That’s a great idea.” That’s one way to find out what Josie is up to…
Eloise’s expression brightens. “Really?”
“Really.” I shift against the wall and look down at her. “Let’s do it.”
Eloise shifts upright and pushes the blanket away. “Can we get breakfast now?”
The abrupt change of subject makes me laugh. “Sure. That’s my girl.”
She grins and climbs to her feet while I gather the blanket from around my legs. As soon as she opens the door, I smell coffee and hear my mother’s voice.
She heads downstairs, but I return to my room to change my clothes and pick up my phone. When I do, there’s a message. Finally.
Josie: Sorry I’ve been out of touch. Lots of news. Hope we can connect today.
Me: Eloise and I thought we might come out to the vineyard this afternoon.
Before I can hit send on the message, I hear, “Allistair?”
My God. I can’t even think straight with all these people in my house. I scrub a hand over my face and shove my phone in my pocket. “I’m coming.”
I hear Eloise greet Zara as I head down the stairs. When I arrive in the kitchen, she’s standing at the island with a mug in her hands.
“Morning,” Zara says.
Eloise disappears into the pantry while Zara looks between me and the staircase. Before I can say anything else, footsteps sound from the hallway.
Anastasia appears a second later, seeming surprised to find the kitchen already occupied. “Well, you’re all up early.”
Mom walks in behind her and moves immediately to the coffeepot, pouring herself a cup.
Anastasia’s gaze moves from me to Eloise emerging from the pantry and then to Zara. She looks disappointed for half a second, though she covers it with a bright smile. “I was going to surprise everyone.”
“Should I be worried?” I ask.
Anastasia laughs. “No.” She waves a hand. “I was going to make my special crepes.”
“I don’t like crepes,” Eloise responds.
I lower my head and press my lips together. Across the room, Zara becomes very interested in rinsing the same coffee mug twice.
Anastasia pauses. “You don’t?”
“No.” Eloise’s answer arrives with complete confidence.
I look over at my daughter and immediately recognize the stubborn set of her jaw. Twenty-four hours ago, she would have happily eaten almost anything involving sugar. This has very little to do with what’s for breakfast.
“That’s interesting,” I reply.
Eloise narrows her eyes.
“Because you definitely like crepes.”
She shakes her head “I don’t.”
I tilt my head. “Nutella? Bananas?”
A tiny crack appears.
“Strawberries?”
There it is. A flicker of recognition. The child has been caught.
“You absolutely like crepes,” I say. “You just happen to like them with Nutella, bananas, and strawberries.”
Eloise shoots me a look so dramatic I almost laugh out loud.
Anastasia grins. “That’s exactly how I make them.”
Eloise freezes.
I watch the hope appear on Anastasia’s face and feel a complicated mix of sympathy and concern…and lingering amusement. She’s trying. Nobody could accuse her of doing otherwise. Now, at least. But there’s still the last seven years.
“Good.” My mother pats the table. “That’s settled.” Then she turns to me. “Allistair.”
“Yes?”
She offers a bright smile. “Why don’t you join me for breakfast at Paradise Hill?”
The invitation lands with all the subtlety of a freight train.
“Don’t you like crepes?” I can’t stop myself from asking.
Mom gives me a cold look. Across the kitchen, Anastasia is focused on the strawberries she is slicing. Zara looks down into her coffee cup. Even Eloise glances between us as though she senses something happening beneath the surface.
But the invitation feels uncomfortably close to disloyalty. I haven’t had anything to do with Paradise Hill since I started seeing Josie. Though that’s pretty ridiculous. It’s not like Josie asked me to do that. Paradise Hill may be her rival, but it isn’t mine.
Still, the discomfort remains. Perhaps I’m projecting my discomfort to our destination, when the bigger issue is whether I want to leave my child with her mother.
My mother studies me over the rim of her coffee cup. “Well?”
She wants me out of the house. Whether she’s trying to give Anastasia time with Eloise or engineer some other version of events, I’m not sure. But either way, Zara will be around.
“Eloise, would you be okay staying here while I go out for breakfast to talk with Gran? I’ll be back in time for dance.”
She looks between all of us as she steals a strawberry and eventually shrugs. “Sure.”
I let out a slow breath. “Okay.”
My mother’s smile widens. “Wonderful.”
This day is barely underway, and already it feels like I’m losing control of it.
Anastasia is pushing her way back into Eloise’s life, my mother is still pulling strings behind the scenes, and the morning is filling with plans I never agreed to.
But I keep myself afloat thinking about this afternoon.
Eloise and I are for sure going to get to Josie’s vineyard.