30. Jack
30
JACK
A shley was so pliable and eager to be near me that it was almost hard to fathom it. The storm of insecurity and hesitation lingered, but my desperate need to be buried inside her, to feel the sensation of connection that anchored me, persisted. It was the only time I felt like I was myself anymore, that my identity and hers had been merged and without her next to me, I was half the man I should be.
“Jack,” she whispered, her lips finding mine hungrily as my fingers untied the strings to her pajama bottoms. She held my face in a tender embrace and whimpered as I pulled away to slide her clothing off until she lay naked on the bed in front of me.
“So I don’t have to use a condom?” I asked. I let my shirt slide off my shoulders and fall to the ground and reached for my belt.
“Can’t get pregnant if I’m already pregnant.” Ashley snickered, and then she scooted up farther on the bed.
I dropped my pants and kicked them off. She was every man’s fantasy, the curves of her hips and her generous breasts fuller and heavier than before, nipples hardened to peaks begging to be sucked. I climbed onto the bed beside her and like a starving animal, I latched on to one of them, sucking greedily. She moaned and tangled her hands in my hair, guiding my mouth to the other breast. I took it in my mouth too, sucking and teasing her while flicking my tongue over her nipple until she was writhing beneath me.
“Jack,” she whimpered again.
I released her nipple and kissed my way down her stomach, trailing hot wet kisses over her belly. I imagined it swollen, full of the life she was carrying—my child—and it only made me want her more. It made me want her in my life every day, all day long. I wanted the sex, the companionship, and the love. But most of all, I wanted a family, something I thought I’d never get the chance to have.
Ashley gasped as I reached the junction of her thigh where I pressed an eager kiss. Her hands rested lightly on my shoulders as I teased and nipped. “Jack,” she moaned again, her voice hitching as I reached a particularly sensitive spot. I chuckled, continuing to tease her with light feather-like touches as her hips bucked beneath me. I loved the way she smelled so musky, so feminine.
“You like that?” I asked against her skin, lapping at a drop of dew that had formed between her folds. She was so responsive, so sensitive.
She whimpered and arched her back off the bed, exposing herself more to my ministrations. “Oh, God,” she mewled, “please don’t stop!”
I grinned against her hot skin and obliged, sucking and licking until she was trembling. Her hands held my head in place and her hips rose up and ground against me. When I slid two fingers into her and felt her heat envelop them, she whined and clawed at my scalp.
“My God, Jack, you’re torturing me.”
I growled against her core and continued the methodical torture, deliciously inching my fingers in and out of her. The rough patch behind her pubic bone was swollen and sensitive. She writhed at different angles, but my fingers evaded her maneuvers. I wanted to keep this slow and make her savor it the way I was.
“I need you,” she panted and again attempted to get me to touch the places that would push her to the edge.
“Do you?” I asked, looking up at her. Her chest heaved with her rapid pants and her eyes were heavy-lidded with desire. She was so beautiful, my heart ached looking at her.
She nodded frantically, nodding yes, pleading with me to touch her. So I gave in.
My fingertips pressed into her G-spot and rubbed across it with each thrust, and I lightly pinched her clit between my lips, biting down on them to add pressure. When I started sucking, her moans became more frantic, higher-pitched and louder.
“Oh, God, I’m so close. I’m so close.”
The waves built until they crashed and pulled her under, then crested and broke again and again. Her pussy clenched. Her hips rose off the bed. I pressed a hand on her hip bone to pin her down, and her thighs squeezed my cheeks so hard I thought I’d stop breathing. The bed rattled. her hips shook violently, and she started to cry, moaning my name and sobbing.
I pulled my fingers out of her, and she keened in protest, but before she had time to complain further, I was inside her, pressing against her core. She was so wet and so tight, as if she’d been made for me alone.
“Jesus, Ashley,” I growled as she wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me closer, impaling herself on my length. It had been too long since I’d felt this kind of connection with another person. Her tears were a powerful reminder of how intimate this act was. I leaned down and kissed them away, and she forced my mouth to hers as the sobbing calmed.
“Oh, God,” she mumbled into my mouth and arched against me again. Her nails dug into my back as I thrust deeper and harder, taking her as mine. “Jack.” Her quiet plea wasn’t for more sex or more passion. I sensed her hunger was for my heart, and she had it all.
“I am in love with you, Ashley. I don’t ever want any other woman again. You’re it for me. I want you, this, a family.”
“Oh, God, Jack,” she moaned as another orgasm rocked through her. I held her tightly against me, willing her to feel how much I needed her too as her head fell back and her lips parted in ecstasy. She was so beautiful, so perfect inside and out—the balm for the wound my soul incurred years ago. And had I not been so blind and hurt back then, maybe I wouldn’t have suffered for so long.
Her pussy pulsed around my dick, contracting and squeezing, and I slowed my thrusts to let her enjoy it all the more, pacing myself. It felt incredible to be in her unsheathed, her skin against mine, her moisture hot on my cock, puddling between us.
“You are so beautiful,” I whispered before kissing her jawline. I was getting close, and I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to stay with her in this moment forever and never wake up, never face the world or my insecurities or people’s opinions of us. It was just us, naked and honest, and I’d never been happier.
“Jack,” she cried out again, begging me now to come with her. I placed her right leg on my left shoulder, angling my pelvis to hit her G-spot again and again. Her entire body tensed, a delicious shudder coursing through her as she clenched down around me.
“I love you,” I growled out, my orgasm crashing against me in a wave of fireworks and light. I grunted and twitched and held myself up so I didn’t crush her with my weight. And when it was over, I collapsed onto her bed next to her and tried to catch my breath. We lay there, panting and sweaty, smeared with each other’s fluids as our hearts slowly returned to normal.
“I love you, too,” she whispered against my chest.
I kissed her temple and brushed a stray strand of hair from her forehead. “I’m glad you’re mine.” To be the man she wanted, the one she loved, meant more to me than she’d ever truly be able to understand. I had been questioning my own worth for so long, I’d forgotten what it felt like to feel good enough for someone. My past taught me that entrusting my heart to someone else meant always doubting whether they were honest, if they really wanted me. I figured I’d battle that the rest of my life, but there was no person I’d rather do it with than her.
“I am yours, Jack.” She turned on her side and propped her head up on a hand, and I matched her pose. Our free hands met on the comforter between our bodies and our fingers weaved together. "I've been yours since the minute you demanded I say that to you. When you told me you refused to share and my body was only yours. I meant that."
I wasn't sure how to respond because I had messed it up so many times now, and I knew how my heart had a tendency to go that direction. I knew I would probably make the same mistake of fearing she'd cheat again. I didn't know how to tell her that, how to prepare her for a life with a man whose heart had been so utterly broken that he might be limping the rest of his life.
And as if she could see the uncertainty in my eyes, she continued talking. "Jack, Sam helped me do some digging, that's all. I do not want him. I do not love him. I am not even interested in him at all. I am in love with you, and I want you to start trying to trust that. And any time you have any fear or doubt in your mind about whether or not that's true, I want you to ask me."
She pressed her lips together then licked them. "I know you will struggle, but I give you my word for now and for as long as you choose to love me in return that your heart is safe with me. I will never do that to you."
Reaching across her hip, I pressed my hand into her lower back and pulled her toward me. I needed to feel her skin against mine, so I nestled as close as I could to her and buried my face in her hair.
"I'm so sorry I didn't trust you, Ashley. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when you came out of that board meeting and you felt you had to turn to Sam for comfort. I wanted to be there, and I just didn't get there in time." Her hair tickled my nose. It smelled like jasmine and honey.
Ashley's arms wrapped around me, and she held me tenderly. It was safe, like a healing cocoon I knew would transform me, given enough time. I felt so weak, so foolish for having put her through all of that. A woman this passionate and caring deserved to be cherished and treasured, worshiped. I was ashamed of myself, and I knew Calvin was ashamed of me too. Neither of us knew exactly how amazing this woman was.
Thinking of Calvin reminded me that even if Ashley and I managed to work things out and find our way to each other forever, we still had a very angry father to deal with. He probably pictured his daughter marrying someone her age who would grow old with her and build a life. As it was, being fifteen years older than her made my life expectancy so much shorter. She'd likely spend her years of retirement caring for me the way most people cared for elderly parents until she herself was too old and ended up burying me. I didn't want that for her, and I was sure Calvin didn’t either.
"So, you told your dad?" My voice was muffled with my face buried in her hair, but she understood me.
"Yeah, after you snapped at me, I sort of had nowhere else to go. Julie was busy and I knew you'd never speak to me again if I even thought about talking to Sam. Besides, he's sort of a douche."
I chuckled, and then it turned to a laugh, then a deep belly laugh rumbled up out of my chest and Ashley laughed with me. After a minute, we calmed and she continued.
"When I told him, he was calm. He didn't freak out or shout at me. He said he had already figured it out, so I believe him. I know Dad, and if it had come as a shock, his reaction would have been different." Her fingers traced lazy circles on my back, and I soaked up the physical touch.
"So you don't think he's angry? Because he was pretty angry when he came to my house demanding I do the right thing by you because you were pregnant." I chuckled again as I remembered his stern warning and how I was so stupid I'd smashed a lamp.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry." I heard her wince as she spoke. I didn't have to see her face to know she'd done it. "He shouldn’t have done that."
"It's okay," I said, pulling back. I kissed her forehead. "He loves you. And he was right. And that's why I'm here now."
"God, Jack. I'm not some old-fashioned prude who has to be married off just because I got pregnant. This is the Twenty-First Century, you know. I could be a single mom if I needed to be." Her fingers stopped moving, but she didn’t pull away. She did, however, look straight into my eyes. She wasn't being harsh or rude, just asserting her independence.
"I understand that, Ashley, but when a man loves a woman, he does what's right." Something was rising up inside my chest, making me think insanely crazy thoughts. Or maybe it was the most sane, most rational thing I could do. I had demanded that she give herself to me fully, but without the reciprocation. I hadn't given my heart to her fully because I was afraid to trust, afraid to commit.
"So, you want to marry me because you knocked me up?" she asked with a smirk.
"I want to marry you because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can't imagine ever being away from you for a single day. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Ashley Sutton, and I want a family."
Her lips parted and her jaw trembled a little. The way her eyes searched my sincere expression left no doubt in my mind what she was thinking.
"Yes, this is a real proposal. I have no ring, but I have my heart, and I am willing to give every broken piece of it to you if you want it." I sighed, bracing myself for her answer. "Will you marry me?"