Chapter 16 #2
She sits at her once vacated seat, directing her full attention to me.
It’s just us now, the first time since leaving Joe’s Bar, that we’ve been alone together.
The gravity of where we’re alone right now hits me.
“I can’t say I blame you,” she laughs, absentmindedly grabbing her empty coffee cup and walking to the kitchen to refill it.
“Want some more?” she asks me, and I politely decline.
“I’m good. Thanks, though.”
It’s been so long since I’ve had a woman in my home that I forgot what it felt like. But Juniper’s presence is easy here. I like that.
I wait for her to return, fully expecting her to pack her things and leave, but she doesn’t. Maybe she wants to stay. “So, how’s she doing?”
It takes me a second to realize what she’s asking. “Oh. Better,” I exhale. “Much better, actually. The meds seem to be helping. I know I was hesitant about starting them, but we’re finally seeing real progress at home and at school.”
Genuine happiness radiates from her. I can feel the tangible joy of her smile from here. “I’m so happy to hear that, Crew. That’s all I could ever hope for as her doctor.”
I black out because I feel warmth on my skin. Juniper’s words are just a simple instrumental in the background to the zapping at my temples. She’s touching me. Touching my forearm, and has yet to pull away. “Has Addie mentioned how she feels taking them?”
I shake my head, refusing to move an inch. She still hasn’t let go. Her palm is soft and warm. My eyes meet her curious ones. “Just that she feels a little sleepy in the mornings. Usually thirty minutes or so after taking them.”
“That’s perfectly normal,” she reassures me. “As long as it’s not hindering her personality, which it doesn’t look like it is, there’s nothing to worry about.”
“I’m really sorry for ever questioning you, Juniper. I hope I didn’t make you feel inadequate. I just had hesitations about it all, and then discovering Dr. Wolk’s retirement only made me more worried. I just want to do right by her, you know?”
Her hand slips away, just enough to put us a few inches apart.
“Listen, Crew, I’m no parent, and I’ll never pretend I know what’s best, no matter how qualified I may be.
My advice is always from a medical standpoint.
But you are Addie’s father. You and her mother know best. Always. Trust your gut with that.”
Trust my gut? My gut says I should listen to every single thing this beautiful woman says and not ask questions.
I’m genuinely curious if her proposal from another man got lost in the mail or what? Who in their right mind would be foolish enough not to lock Juniper Wilde down?
Me, by the looks of it.
“I appreciate that. I’ve struggled with my role as a decent father,” I admit, exhaling quietly.
“I want to be more present. But between work and the restaurant, I’m hardly home, and I hate it.
We make up for our missed time together when I am home, but I know it’s still not enough.
I’m terrified I’m gonna miss out on the big stuff, you know?
I’ve already missed so many of the small things. ”
“So, I guess that means you’re still considering retirement?”
I nod. “More than ever. This will be my last season with the Strikers.”
“How do you feel about that?”
I’ve never had anyone ask me that. Most people just write it off in discussion, assuming it’s because I’ve aged myself out.
Which might be true, but I’m in shape. I take care of my body and eat right.
Playing the game has never been a struggle until my injury.
I’m confident that with therapy, even that can be sustainable.
“I have mixed feelings. The game has always been who I am. Before Addie was born, it’s all I had. Since I was a kid, all I knew was that I wanted to play baseball. There was never any other plan than that.”
“I’m so happy you got to do that. Not everyone can say they fulfilled their dreams.”
I appreciate the way Juniper views life. Like it’s fragile. Short. Fleeting. Because it is. That’s something I’ve realized more than ever this past year.
My eyes roam across the delicate features of her face. She doesn’t wear much makeup, aside from red lipstick when I’ve seen her dressed up. She doesn’t need it. Her cute glasses make her look put together without even trying. I can’t look away.
“Is that what you’re doing now, Doc? Fulfilling your dreams? Owning your own practice seems like a pretty big deal.”
Juniper looks to the side for a moment, lost in thought, before averting her eyes back to me.
“I like to think so. Moving to Atlanta wasn’t the plan.
It wasn’t in my plans. I wanted to graduate from med school, complete my fellowship in pediatrics, then move somewhere tropical.
Hawaii or Bali. Maybe even the coast of Greece.
All I knew was I wanted to help people somewhere other than my own backyard. ”
So, she’s got the travel bug…
I smile. “Last I checked, Atlanta is pretty far off from Nashville. I’d say you accomplished that.”
She tilts her head in bemusement. “Thank you, MapQuest, for your guided assurance. But seriously…” Another pause. “Growing up, I never really felt like I belonged. It’s such a weird thing to say out loud, but it was almost as if the physician delivered me and handed me to the wrong mother.”
I cock a brow. “What do you mean?”
“My parents are hoarders. Have been my entire life.”
“Oh.” That was the last thing I expected. “Were they good to you?”
Juniper blinks, blue eyes penetrating into me with an unreadable look.
“They were. The best, actually. Though some might disagree. Then my mom lost her sister, and everything fell apart. That’s when the hoarding really started.
I was around nine. They loved me well, but the grief became too much for her, and the hoarding took over to mask it, I guess.
I’ll never really understand it all. My dad just kind of went along with her, and the concern for the condition I was then living in was an afterthought.
I know it’s an illness, it just sucks it was never one they overcame. ”
“I’m sorry they hurt you in that way, but I’m glad you still felt love despite it. So, is that why you moved here? To escape it all? Seems like you really did need a fresh start.”
She takes a sip of coffee before exhaling softly.
“Mostly. All of the lead pediatric physician roles I applied for didn’t work out.
Either the position was filled, or they felt I wasn’t a good fit for the job.
My friend, Val, who’s an OBGYN in town, told me about Dr. Wolk’s retirement and felt I’d be a good fit.
I put an offer in on the practice, and the rest is history. ”
“And here you are.”
There’s something unspoken happening here. “Here I am.”
I almost reach for her, but stop myself at the vibration of her phone on the table. I glance down quickly, not missing the name connected to the message across the screen.
Nick
Can’t wait to meet you Friday night. Let’s do dinner beforehand. Your pick.
Juniper reacts quickly, reaching for the phone in an attempt to hide it. But it’s too late. What’s done is done, and whatever this reaction that stirs inside of me feels carnal. And severely unwarranted.
But then again…she also shouldn’t have reacted like it would upset me to see it. We’re both fucked.
“Hot date?” I speculate, unable to help myself.
She covers the screen with her hand before pulling back to respond. “I don’t know if I’d call mini golf hot, but sure.” I know the moment she presses send because her screen locks and her eyes lift to mine. “I’m trying.”
I wonder what she sees? Does she see how unsettled I feel inside? Like I’m teetering on state lines, in two places at once, trying to figure out where I want to be. Where I want to be kept.
“Is it serious?”
Her brows furrow. “Is what serious?”
“You trying.” I nod to her phone. “Nick. Dating. All of it, I guess.”
“Why do you want to know?”
I don’t overthink it, just answer honestly. “I just want to know about you, Juniper. That’s it.”
Silence stretches between us. “I’m ready to settle down.” She holds up her phone, turning the screen to face me. “This is me trying.”
I nod because I don’t know what to say. I also know if I say something out of impulse, I may regret it. “Any luck?”
“Does my excitement not tell you enough?” Juniper asks mockingly.
I shrug. “Seemed like you had a good thing going with Vance.” I cringe just thinking about seeing them together. Vance seemed decent. But nowhere near good enough for Doc.
“You would know, right?” She cocks her head, making me smirk. “I still can’t believe you did that. Do you interfere with all your other customers’ dates, too?”
“Just yours.”
“Lucky me.” She smiles, and I know it’s jokingly, but I find it to be true.
“His name is Vance. Hardly sounds like the name of a proper husband. Juniper and Vance. What kind of weird shit is that? His name fits better with a Helga or something,” I huff.
Juniper leans back in her chair, arms crossing at her chest alluringly. Her words strike me. Surprise me. Best way or worst way is yet to be determined. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sound like a jealous boyfriend.”
My confidence sticks to my throat. “And what makes you think that?”
She tucks the hair on her left side securely behind her ear, revealing not only a slender neck, but the daintiest tattoo.
A butterfly. It’s simple linework, looking very similar to the same butterfly she carries with her.
Is it a coincidence that my radiant daughter loves butterflies, too? Her room is covered in them. But how did I not notice that delicate ink all this time? Guess I need to watch her more intently, so I don’t miss a thing.
“Only jealous boyfriends care about those things.”
“Gonna need you to break it down for me, Doc.”
She ticks her lip. “Who I’m dating. Why I’m dating. The obvious.”
“Wrong,” I deadpan. “If I were your boyfriend, there would be no room for that because dating outside of me wouldn’t happen. It would be us and only us. I don’t share. One date or five. Never. Obvious enough for you?”
Her mouth opens and closes, seconds away from speaking before she stops herself. Just when it looks like she’s finally mustered the words to say, a knock resounds on the front door, followed by the door opening.
“Crew? Adeline?” Hilary announces, closing the door behind her and entering the kitchen.
Juniper panics, standing quickly to leave. But me? I don’t move an inch. I’ve got nothing to hide, especially because there is nothing to hide. “I should go,” Juniper rushes, pushing her chair in and leaving me at the table.
I turn my head just as Hilary comes into view, stopping short at the sight of Juniper in my home.
Trust me, Hil. I’m unsure about it, too.
“Dr. Wilde. Hi. What a surprise,” Hilary says, mouth gaped open as her head swings toward me for answers. I’ve got nothing in me but a smirk. Hilary knows better than to ask questions about my love life. It’s nonexistent. Which means, this—a woman in my home—is so abnormal for me it’s comical.
“It’s nice to see you again, Ms. Walters. I was just leaving.” She points to the front door, and I call out, “Later, Doc. You make a damn good pancake.”
Pretty sure she scurries faster. The door closes abruptly behind her, and Hilary’s declaration sends a buzz through my system. “Oh, you’ve got some serious explaining to do, Mr. Briggs. Doodle!” she shouts up the staircase. “Get your things, baby girl. And don’t forget Trolli.”
“Take a seat, Hil. Let’s chat. You’ve got roughly”—I glance at my watch—“three minutes before a very energetic six-year-old gets down here to get all your questions out, then I won’t hear a word about it ever again.”
Hilary tosses her bag on the kitchen island and stands with both amusement and excitement in her eyes. “Let’s get started then, lover boy.”