Chapter 5
5
MATT
Waking up on Jackson’s couch is something I haven’t done since before I moved to Boston, but the vibrating weight on my chest makes up for it. I crack open my eyes to see his adorable tortie queen, Bella, staring right back at me. As soon as she knows her minion is awake, her purring intensifies as she starts to knead at my naked flesh.
Wait a second… naked?
Shooting up, I displace Bella and receive a slight scratch and a disgruntled yowl for my disrespect. I pull the blanket away from my lap and am relieved to find that I am at least still in my underwear. Lord only knows what could be living inside of Jackson’s couch with the crazy parties that this piece of junk has seen. This thing could honestly be older than we are.
It takes me a few minutes to locate my clothes from last night since someone threw them in the wash for some reason. Most of the night is a bit fuzzy. Okay, it is a lot fuzzy. I remember two rounds of shots and a lot of heavy whispers between little Jace and Eli before they loosened up. We started dancing, and then it goes blank.
A knock at the door has me pausing with only one leg in my pants. Jax won’t hear a knock that soft, so I just keep quiet hoping they will just go away, whoever they are. One good thing about his living in this trailer is the fact that there are no more shared walls. His neighbors at the apartment he used to rent were loud as fuck all day, every day. And the lady upstairs liked to run her sweeper at three in the morning.
I’m still bent over with my ass toward the front door when I hear a chuckle behind me.
“Now that is a sight I did not expect to see this morning,” Eli says while I grab onto the dryer to keep from faceplanting when I trip over my own pants in my rush to pull them up.
“Jackson still asleep?”
I turn around as I fasten my belt and nod my chin toward the bedroom. Eli hands me a travel mug of what smells like the best coffee ever and turns for the door at the end of the short hallway. Setting down the mug of liquid ambrosia, I pull my button down out of the dryer and over my shoulders. I hear a grunt come from Jackson, whether it is pain or surprise I’m not sure I care, but right now I’m focused on trying to locate my undershirt. Digging through the other clothing in the laundry area, I can’t seem to find it.
“Dude, your shirt was a lost cause after that twink puked on it,” Jax mumbles with a yawn as he comes out of his room. Of course, the little shit is wearing the same pajama bottoms he wore back in high school. The guy hasn’t grown since the eighth grade.
“Your button down and jeans weren’t too bad, but we used my knife to cut off your undershirt so it wouldn’t get in your hair. Don’t you remember?”
I vaguely recall trying to help someone to the bathroom and the car ride home with my head practically hanging out the window. Bits and pieces are starting to come back to me, but I have never had this much trouble remembering before.
“It’s hell getting old, isn’t it?” Eli says as he squeezes past us to get to the living room. “It’s like you hit twenty seven and your body starts to slowly reject everything you reveled in for the last decade.”
Jax reaches out to slap the other man who dodges easily. I like to see the banter between them and it makes me really miss the friendships I had developed back in Boston. Actually, it makes me miss Sylvia. She and I had this kind of camaraderie. I never really got beyond acquaintances within our mutual friend groups though.
Sipping on the coffee provided to me, I watch as the two of them move seamlessly around each other to prepare a horribly greasy breakfast with eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and as Jax always insists, diced veggies. That man has been obsessed with vegetables since he heard they could help you grow taller when we were in high school.
“So, what are your plans for the day, Matt?” Eli asks me, placing a plate in front of me on the small island in the kitchen. “Gotta rush home to anyone?”
“Give it a rest, Eli,” Jax says as he clambers onto the stool across from me. “Mattie here is as straight as an arrow, and the only people he associates with are his students who are, according to him, off-limits for some reason.”
Eli only leans back against the counter with a bark of laughter. “Not looking for me, Jackie-poo. Although, I can understand why Lucky is always in a rush to get to school if the professors look like Matt here. Just trying to get a feel for your buddy here and what kind of complications might follow him here.”
I had been trying to tune the two of them out in favor of the delicious food in front of me, but something about what he just said is niggling at the corner of my mind.
“Following me here?”
Eli points to the door with his fork as he swallows before speaking. “The vacant trailer at the back of the lot. You said last night you were looking for a place to get off your mom’s couch. I told you all about it somewhere between the bear attempting to crowd surf and the pukey twink. I got in touch with the landlord this morning. You are welcome to it if you want it, but I gotta know by noon so he can place an ad in time to run in the Sunday paper if you don’t want it.”
I don’t even know where the fuck we are at this point, but I know it’s only fifteen minutes from my mother’s house based on how long it took Jax to pick me up. Plus, being neighbors with Jackson and from the looks of it, Eli wouldn’t be so bad. And Eli said he’s roommates with Jace, so that’s another plus for me in the friend category.
“Remind me again what the rent is?” I ask since I don’t remember any of the discussions after the second or third round of drinks. If it is reasonable enough, I can jump in easily and if it isn’t my cup of tea, I should still be able to get campus housing for next year if it comes to that.
“Well, it is a 1976 single wide model which claims to be a two bedroom, but in reality it is a single bedroom with a laundry room. Because of this, the landlord dropped it from the typical single wide rent. Jackson here pays nine hundred plus the three hundred for the lot fee. The unit you’d be getting would be seven hundred fifty plus the lot fee.”
Holy shit. For only a little over a grand a month, I would have my own place. I wouldn’t have to share walls, do the small talk in the hallways, deal with a malfunctioning intercom system… none of that. Plus, I wouldn’t have to lug my laundry to a dank basement or laundromat each week. I could maybe add a desk in the laundry room and have it be almost an office.
“I’ll take it,” I practically shout at Eli. He and Jax share a look and bust out laughing.
“I told you his response wouldn’t change when he was sober,” Jackson gasps out as he tries to get his breathing back under control. “Only person who might be able to change this one’s mind is his mom, but she won’t. ”
Chuckling along with the two jokers, we all throw on our shoes so that Eli can show me my new home and get some papers for me to sign. My heart aches as I remember someone else who could change my mind. Unbidden, I recall the last time I even came close to him. I want to remember the little boy he was, not the man his father forced him to become.
Eight Years Ago:
I’m just going to sneak into his room and leave the card. It’s the only thing I can do. Mom told me that I was expected at the graduation party, but then I got the email from Mr. Mendleton’s attorney. I am allowed on the property for one hour, during which time I am not to approach or speak to anyone but my mother. According to the email, my ban from the property was supposed to be forever and not just while I was in school.
After the fountain incident, Mom finally moved off the grounds. She had invested the excess money from my father’s life insurance policy and ended up with enough to buy a modest house about ten minutes away. I wish it was enough for her to retire and leave those assholes in the lurch without her.
“Eric is going to be so happy to see you, Mattie,” Mom says as she pulls into her spot behind the garage. She is so excited that I arrived this morning, but I didn’t tell her about the time limit. The Mendletons are shit people, but they pay her well even if she is treated like a second class citizen.
“Heaven forbid the staff cars be visible in any way,” I mumble as the car is practically enveloped by foliage.
I’m not quick enough ducking after rolling my eyes and feel the smack of my mother’s hand on the back of my head. Turning to the driver’s side of the car, I only see the door closing and I race to catch up. If I’m found anywhere but next to my mother today, Mr. Mendleton has already promised to sue me for the cost of my education and the “allowance” he granted me over those four years.
I know I have about twenty minutes until the family gets back to the house after their fancy dinner out with their business associates. Mom is going to set up the snack areas by the pool, but I have volunteered to drag out the cases of pop for the party. It gives me access to the house. It’s access I need to drop off the card to explain everything to Eric, why I broke my promise.
After dumping the third case of pop into the steel drum, I tell Mom I’m going to grab the bags of ice from the big freezer in the cellar. None of the staff look my way at all when I head for the servant’s stairs. Instead of heading down, I race up to the third floor where Eric’s rooms are. That jackass that calls himself a father put his son as far away as possible.
Spilling into the hallway, I look around to make sure I’m in the right place. Gone are the splashes of color and scuff marks that showed a child lived there. Instead, the hall is as cold and dead as the rest of the house.
This is not right. It CAN’T be right .
Eric is vibrant. He’s so bright it’s dazzling. The sun itself can’t hold a candle to him. He isn’t this cold and lifeless corridor.
I start throwing open door after door, heart pounding harder and harder, dread rising as I find no evidence of the boy I knew. His playroom has been replaced with a home gym. His “closet” is a guest room. My soul feels like it’s shattering with every opened door.
Standing outside of the last door, I am terrified of what I will find inside. Even when the staff managed to clean up the rest of the floor, Eric would never let them clean his room. He had this beautiful chaos about him that could never be tamed in his private space. This can’t have changed. It will destroy me.
I squeeze my eyes shut as I push open the door. I don’t want to look, but I know I have to. Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes and my heart drops to my feet.
Gray bedspread.
Cream curtains and pillows.
Bookshelves filled with business textbooks.
There is not a single sparkle or piece of glitter anywhere. There is no color, no flair. This can’t be Eric’s room!
I walk over to the desk to prove to myself that this room must be just another guest room now. I glance at the papers on the desk and choke back a sob. I can see an acceptance letter to the University of Pittsburgh School of Business addressed to Mr. Eric Mendleton.
My breath won’t come.
Can a person actually asphyxiate from guilt ?
I race into his ensuite bathroom to splash some water on my face. This has to be a dream. My vibrant little man was extinguished by his family. If only I had been there for him…
The sound of tires on the gravel outside tells me I’ve taken too long to “get ice” and I need to get back down to the party. The last thing I want is for my selfishness to get my mother or one of the other staff in trouble.
Dropping the card I prepared into the trash can in the kitchen, I head back outside to finish getting the party ready. If I can get out of here without having to face the embodiment of my crushing guilt, I will. I know I’m a fucking coward, but I need to remember the boy in the tablecloth ballgown not the man he’s been forced to become.
I never did see him at the party. I ran away. I faked an illness and hid on my mother’s couch while I booked my ticket back to Boston. I decided to stay away completely. My heart couldn’t handle the thought of running into Eric Mendleton, the business tycoon.
“Let’s go make it official, neighbor!” Jackson calls to me from outside. “Hurry up, Teach!”
Swallowing my guilt for the zillionth time, I force a smile to go check out my new home and prepare for the next chapter of my life.