Chapter 36
36
MATT
The look on Eric’s face has me almost snorting coffee up my nose. Taking pity on my cutie, I bring a cup of coffee over to him with a plate of my mother’s French toast. When the news this morning reported on Sylvia’s break in and Mr. Mendleton’s involvement, she rushed over here. Luckily for us, she texted when she left, so I had time to get myself up and presentable. I decided to let Eric sleep so that I could prepare her for him being here.
“Mattie, why is this poor boy half naked? Do you need me to do your laundry so that he can put some pants on?”
Eric starts to choke on his bite of French toast, and my mother absently pounds on his back without removing her glare from my face. I’m torn between laughing and running as far as I fucking can from this situation. This is not how I expected to be coming out to my mother.
“Well you see, Eric and I are kind of… together, Ma,” I te ll her and flinch in anticipation of the slap that I’m sure is coming. After a few seconds, I squint over at her to see a soft smile on her face instead of the outrage I was expecting.
It’s not like I ever thought my mother is in any way intolerant, but she has been constantly reminding me that all of her friends are grandmothers now. Not to mention, the age difference. I mean, he was barely out of diapers when she started working for his family.
“Is that okay with you, Ms. Sara?” Eric asks sheepishly. “I’ve always loved Mattie, and now he loves me back.”
The pain and fear in his voice breaks through my own nerves regarding my mother and I come around the counter to pull him into my arms.
“I’ve always loved you, Sparkles,” I tell him with a kiss to his turquoise bedhead. “It’s just the sexy stuff didn’t show up until last week.”
He lets out a soft giggle while my mother snorts into her coffee. “Seems you two don’t need my blessing after all, but since you asked, sweetie, I’m ecstatic you two found your way to each other.”
She puts a hand on each of our cheeks and gives us a smile before turning to put her coat on.
“Sorry I interrupted your little love nest and will give you more notice for my next visit. Eric, sweetie, let me know when you’re free and we can go out for brunch to catch up.”
Before she reaches the door, my brain catches up to everything that just happened .
“Don’t you have anything to say about me liking men?”
I don’t know why I’m so hung up on this, but I feel like I need to actually hear what she thinks about me not being straight.
“You don’t need to put on a label or explain it to me, Mattie,” she says as she opens the front door. “Love is what matters and you two have always had more than enough for each other.”
I sink down onto the stool my mother had vacated when I hear her car pull away from the trailer. That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. I expected something more. I never thought she would be one of those parents who disowned their children for being queer, but I expected at least some confusion… especially after being engaged to a woman for the last three years.
Shit, was it really that long? That should have been a clue.
“Penny for your thoughts, good sir?” Eric asks with a horrid cockney accent as he pokes me in the ribs. “What’s wrong?”
“She didn’t care,” I mutter as I get up to wash her dishes from breakfast. “I just came out to my mother, and she didn’t react at all.”
“I think she took it quite well, personally.”
“Yeah, but I expected more of a reaction. I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out how I could explain how I could make it thirty two years without even an inkling that I might not be straight. And she constantly mentions wanting grandkids, and now she won’t get them. I mean it’s not like I expected her to disown me or anything like your parents did, but I expected something. ”
Eric wraps his arms around my waist from behind me. Placing his chin on my shoulder he gives me a kiss to my neck for comfort while I finish up the breakfast dishes.
“I got a few things to say about that,” he says as he lets me go to lean against the counter next to me. “Number one, don't assume because your closet was in a different house than mine, it wasn't just as hard for you to come out of it. Sharing your authentic self is one of the hardest things a person can do. I’m proud of you for choosing to tell the most important person in your life your truth.
“Number two. If that woman wants grandkids, we’ll get her grandkids someday. I’m not sure how I feel about adopting a baby, but I’ve met my share of former foster kids at this point who could have used a bit more love in their lives. Let’s give it a couple years before we take that leap.”
Eric reaches over to turn off the water and pull me in front of him. “Number three. I don’t care what surprises you discover about yourself or when they come to you. I’ve always loved you and will continue to do so even if you find out you were switched at birth with an alien. You are mine, Lewis Matthias Barnes, the Second, and God himself could never keep me away from you now that I’ve found you again.”
All the pain and stress of the last few days rushes to the surface and I grab onto my boy like he’s the last lifejacket on the Titanic. It all pours out of me and I weep on the shoulder of my precious unicorn boy. The guilt, the shame, the anger that I’ve directed at myself for taking that deal…
“I’m so sorry, Eric.”
Pulling my face up so that he can see me, he whispers, “You have nothing to apologize for. You were a kid being blackmailed by a determined, crooked as fuck, asshole who wanted you out of the way.”
Reaching up to wipe my tears, he says in a way too casual tone, “I have no doubt if you hadn’t left on your own, he would have arranged an accident. I mean, hell, he managed to arrange an entire fucking relationship that almost ended up with you married to a fucking bigot.”
I step back from him feeling a lot better. Yeah, his dad really fucked with my life for the last fifteen years, maybe even longer if I try to think on it.
“At least tell me the sex was good,” Eric says and surprises a laugh out of me. “I mean, based on her personality and fashion sense, she has to have a golden pussy or something to keep a man like you tied down for five years.”
“Seven,” I choke out between breaths. “And no, it wasn’t that good.”
“Then why the fuck would you stay with her?!”
I finally get my breathing under control and step back into his space to wrap my arms around my cutie, my Sparkles, my unicorn boy.
“If I couldn’t be with you, it didn’t matter who I was around. I think my head accepted her because it knew no one would ever have my heart. I think I stayed with her because I was afraid of finding someone else who would take up your place in my heart, and I knew deep down she was no competition.”
“Super Mattie still got game,” he chuckles before he leans in to kiss me.
It looks like I’m going to be late again today.