Chapter 2
Notes:
Prepare yourself for the next Avengers Squad!!!! And be patient because it takes them a minute to assemble.
Milo
“That was magnificent, my boy,” Conrad said as he rushed—well, hobbled—to Milo, his walker rattling over the rough terrain.
His gray hair was a circle around his ears with the top of his head completely bald, the tufts barely shifting with the momentum he was able to accelerate at.
He had his hearing aid in his ear but was still yelling because the batteries had more than likely run out again.
“I did my best.” Milo smiled at Conrad when he tapped his shoulder.
“That will show them,” Ethel said, her lilac bathrobe swishing behind her like a cape as she approached and threw a knitted blanket over Milo’s shoulders. “Bit too short still…”
Milo watched as she busted out her needles and a gigantic skein of yarn, attaching it to the top of the blanket and adding bulk to it right there where it hung off of Milo’s frame. The needles swished and clicked in front of his face. “Ethel, I’d like to keep both my eyes.”
“Shut it, boy.”
“It’s also summer and really hot.”
She pointed a needle at him menacingly. “I’ll stab you with it.”
He clamped his mouth shut, letting her work him into a chained mannequin for her knitting project. It was usually best to just let her do what she wanted.
“Behave,” a third voice sounded and Glenn walked out, shaking his head at everyone. He was a distinguished older gentleman, dressed in a three-piece suit and holding a book under his arm. “We are in an upscale establishment and need to act accordingly.”
Milo looked down at his chains and then around the sad looking lawn.
Glenn was also pretty batshit crazy (not an official medical diagnosis, just an observation) and often lost track of where he was or who any of them were.
“There is nothing upscale about this.” Shelly arrived, glowing in the sunlight like a lava lamp.
She was dressed in about five hundred sequined skirts, with scarves wrapped around her neck and her curly hair pinned on top of her head in a wild bun.
Her earrings hung down to her chest and she had enough necklaces on to decorate a department store for Christmas.
She chucked something into the air and then bent down to look at it. Milo recognized her bone runes hiding around the hems of her skirts.
“We will need much more effort to be fruitful,” she said. “Dark forces are at play.”
“The dragon guy is an asshole, but I don’t think he’s a dark force.” Milo frowned at the sudden urge to clarify. “Definitely grounds for hatred, don’t get me wrong. Just…of the normal variety.”
“Whatever you say, son.” Clarence showed up with a cross in his hand and a rosary around his neck, holding a spray bottle of holy water above his head. “I don’t trust that man. Long hair. Scales. Snake eyes… Seems like the devil’s work to me.”
He gave the surrounding air a quick spray as if he could drive the very essence of dragon away from them and made a sloppy cross sign in the air with his other hand as he walked closer.
He proceeded to trip over Ethel’s basket of yarn and elbow Glenn in the ribs trying to stay upright.
“WATCH IT!” Conrad’s voice carried down the street, making several people turn to stare as if a man chained to a tree wasn’t enough of a spectacle without a screeching octogenarian.
“He’s a dragon, Clarence,” Milo said. “I don’t think divine intervention will get rid of him.”
“Well, nothing else seems to be working. Maybe if we all pray…”
He grabbed Glenn’s hand to start the prayer and Milo watched Glenn’s face light up with joy.
“Hello there!” he said to Clarence. “I would love to dance.”
He spun Clarence around, his steps precise and fluid like he had been a dancer his entire life when nobody really knew much about him other than the few bits they’d managed to piece together from a tiny stack of photos and a handful of letters signed by someone named Paul, no last name.
Clarence had been a librarian. Danced in his spare time.
And was apparently deeply loved. That was all they’d learned.
“The edge looks wonky, but it’ll be fine,” Ethel said as she finished off the last row and snipped the end of the yarn, wrapping Milo up in the now appropriately long blanket.
He was feeling like a steamed bun under it but didn’t dare say anything.
The woman was a vengeful hag wearing a cute grandma skin suit. Terrifying.
“Lovely,” Milo said. “Thank you.”
“Shelly, you saw the eyes, right?” Ethel asked the other woman.
Shelly nodded fiercely. “I saw them, all right. They have been following Milo’s every step for eons. Blinking at him from the dark. Waiting for him. Cold eyes. Invisible eyes.”
“I meant the dragon’s eyes,” Ethel said and Shelly screeched to a halt like a broken record.
“Um…he…sure had eyes…” Shelly pointed to her forehead. “Right here.”
“Oh, for fuck’s….” Ethel groaned. “The dragon was giving our Milo here some serious eyes.”
“Wait, what?” Milo asked. “What eyes? There were no eyes.”
“WHO HAS NO ICE?” Conrad asked.
“I once slipped on ice,” Glenn said, still dancing.
“We can pray for his soul to turn to ice,” Clarence suggested mid-spin/dip combination that had him near upside down, his rosary slipping into his mouth as he spoke.
“THERE IS NO ICE!” Ethel said. “I am saying the dragon looked at Milo like he found him attractive and that is something we can use to our advantage.”
Milo’s mind went blank. The rest of the senior squad stopped in their tracks.
“The fuck?” he asked, squirming a bit. It had not escaped his notice that Rowan was quite the specimen. And “quite the specimens” rarely glanced his way twice.
Ethel rolled her eyes. “You’re all morons. No wonder you’re single. The man was into you.”
“I was chained to a tree.”
She put her nose in the air. “I don’t kink shame.”
“I bit him!”
“Maybe he digs that.” Ethel shrugged. “Whatever the case may be, he was giving vibes and we are gonna use them.”
“How?” Shelly asked. “Nothing in my cards pointed to romance. And Milo’s heart line is just abysmal… No offense, dear.”
“None taken.” Milo scoffed. As if he had time for romance anyhow.
What with working five jobs, taking care of five deranged senior citizens, and trying to keep them all from losing their only home.
And even if he did have the time, he didn’t have the strength to put himself out there again after what his ex had done.
Andrew had swooped in and made Milo fall within days, only to turn out to be the biggest liar in the world with a whole other life, another boyfriend, and goals that most certainly didn’t include Milo.
So no…he’d take no offense to the mention of the very real tragedy that was his love life.
“Because it’s not romance,” Ethel said. “It’s deception. It’s manipulation. It’s the perfect grift to get us what we want.”
She let out an evil laugh and Clarence sprayed her with his holy water. Right in the face.
“Ungodly,” he said.
Milo’s phone screamed in his pocket. He was late for work.
“Come on in!” Glenn said cheerfully.
“We’re outside, dear,” Shelly told him.
“Get to work,” Ethel said. “I’ll give this some more thought and come up with a plan. I will have a detailed outline when you get back tonight.”
“I can’t leave!” Milo said, looking around at the empty site around their building. “What if they come back?”
“We’ll call you. We’ll deflect until you can reattach yourself to the tree.”
“But—”
“I doubt they’ll be coming back today, anyway,” Clarence said. “I will pray they don’t.”
“I’ll put a protective circle around the place.” Shelly pulled out a bag of salt.
“Again,” Milo said, “he is a dragon. Not a demon.”
“I see no difference.” She started the salt circle. “He’s trying to take our home.”
“Get to it, boy.” Ethel helped him unlock the padlock and lower the chains. “I’ve got it covered here.”
“Glenn’s pills—” Milo said.
“Are in the nightstand, to be taken at four.” She nodded.
“And Shelly—”
“Needs to be reminded of her ultrasound appointment in two hours.”
“I left—”
“Money for Glenn’s bus fare to the library in his jacket pocket,” she recited, pushing him away from the tree. “You do a lot, Milo, and we love you. But we can handle it for a little while. I promise.”
“Okay.” He nodded, handing her the blanket. “Can you put that on my bed?”
“You like it?” she asked, and he nodded, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
“Love it!” he called as he rushed off to catch the bus to work.
“DID WE WIN?” Conrad shouted behind him, and Milo couldn’t help but chuckle as he pushed down the worry and jogged to the bus stop.
He gave a hip-level middle finger to the billboard advertising a new scale-care product to “dragons who have lost their shine” and glared at the tail rest next to the seats at the station.
Fuck dragons, man.
Notes:
Literally.
Too soon? Okay, okay.