Chapter 43
Fern
I was used to people turning and staring when I entered the room.
Every time I walked into a ballroom or the drawing room of a neighbour’s estate, women flapped out fans and then whispered furiously as I passed by, casting me sly looks, then finished with a mocking snigger.
Men barely noticed me at all. They’d look from my sister, Rose, to me, expecting another beautiful girl, then frowned in disappointment when they saw what I actually looked like.
The men in the tavern stared now. When we walked through the door, the place was full of shouts and rollicking music.
Then the patrons noticed us. Head after head turned our way, conversations faltering, the music trailing away, and that had my feet slowing, then stopping.
The memories of what my suitors said to me arose unbidden.
If any of those humans dare disrespect you in such a way, Auren growled. I’ll burn the place to the ground and everyone in it.
I swallowed hard, then turned to Lance.
“Perhaps we should go.”
As he moved to take my hand, another man lurched from his seat and over to us.
“Gods above…” He was wavering a little on his feet and he reeked of ale, but his focus remained fixed on me. “Look at the tits on you.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Lance had the man by the shirt and was hauling him backwards, but his head popped up over the rider’s shoulder. A sloppy leer spread across the man’s face. “Care to dance?”
“Dance…?”
I’d barely whispered that when another man rose.
“Ignore Sam. Pisshead, he is,” he said, and it took me a moment to realise he was talking to me. A hand was extended and all five of us watched it reach for me. “I’m Jonas.”
“You’ll be drinking your beer using a bloodied stump if you don’t put that hand away.”
Lorien was all smiles when I talked to him, but I saw something far darker and more intent right now. His eyes glittered with a dangerous light, which had Jonas pulling away.
“Bloody dragon riders…” he muttered before returning to his seat. “Always get all the pretty girls.”
Pretty girls?
Another man, then another stood up, and that’s when Kael’s grip tightened. I let out a little squeak as he pulled me closer, plastering me against his side. Leather, smoke, and the unmistakable musk of a man filled my nose as he regarded the tavern.
“Sit down before me and mine put you down.” His voice rang out through the entire tavern. “Unless you’ve got a death wish, keep your eyes and your hands off what belongs to us.”
“Belongs…?” I shoved myself away, forced to straighten my uniform. “We’ve talked about this.”
That smile, sharp enough to cut, made clear what Kael thought about our previous conversations.
“Shame,” one man said, then took a long drink from his beer. “Comely filly like that? I’d give her the ride of her life.”
The men around me growled, even Dain, but before they could respond, I stepped forward. I looked the stranger up and down, watching his smile spread.
“To give me the ‘ride of my life,’ you’d need to be a stallion.” I cocked my head sideways. “And you look more like a gelding to me.”
Apparently, that was exactly the right thing to say.
The tavern was filled with noise again. First, a roar of laughter, then the musicians picked up their instruments and started a new song.
People turned back to their fellows and continued their conversations.
Kael took advantage of this, steering me towards a booth.
I was seated right in the middle, with two men sitting on either side of me.
“Maybe you had it right, Lance.” Lorien’s focus was on everyone and everything as he shifted in his seat. “This might not have been a good idea.”
“An opportunity to show our girl off to everyone we know?” Kael’s arm landed along the back of my seat, then went to curl around me. I shoved him off, but that just made him chuckle. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
His smug expression had my spine snapping straight.
“Using me as a means to swell your oversized head?” I shot him a dark look. “What a surprise.”
“Didn’t walk in here with you on my arm to improve my reputation.
” His smile widened. “It’s already formidable.
” As I rolled my eyes and went to look away, his grin faded.
“I’ve been coming here at the end of each week since I got the first hair on my balls.
” That sound of disgust escaped me without meaning to.
“First and only time I’ve walked in here with a girl on my arm was with you.
I wanted every bastard in the district to wonder how a man like me got a woman like you. ”
This had to be a joke. I kept waiting for the corners of his lips to twitch, then curl upwards into a mocking smile, marvelling at the way I was taken in, but instead those ice blue eyes held mine as the moment stretched on.
“Me too.” Lorien’s glance was far more circumspect, there and gone again.
“I mean, you can reject the lot of us soundly and we’ll still be drinking for free for months, but…
” His roving gaze finally settled on me.
“I’m hoping you don’t.” An elbow was shoved into Dain’s side.
“Him too, if he was even the slightest bit honest with himself.”
Dain grunted, then waved a serving woman over.
“Lieutenant?”
Kael was always making trouble and my cheeks flushed bright red at the imposition.
“Lance,” I said in a placating tone. “You don’t need to be drawn into this. I know—”
“That I’ve wanted you since the moment you appeared in Dragon Rest?” My back pressed against the booth, feeling Kael’s arm returning there absently. “Your hair was a tangle, and I felt this impossible need to comb it smooth.”
“Put her head in your lap and then work each snarl out as gentle as you can?” Kael asked him.
“No, no—” I said.
“Yes.” Lance gave me a pained smile. “Just like that. Fern, I never would’ve taken a position at the keep if it wasn’t for you.”
“But you love to teach swordplay,” I said.
“Maybe?” He shrugged. “Had no intention of spending a minute longer than I had to in the keep. The general had been after me for years, but I always said no, until you.” I went to assure him he needn’t stay on my account, but Lance forged on.
“When I realised that you’d be stuck at the keep for a year, I knew that’s where I needed to be.
There was no way I was letting you become a cadet without my protection.
” He scowled at Kael, whose grin got brighter. “I became a lieutenant for you. Fern.”
Told you. Auren’s voice echoed through my mind as I sat and stared at the tabletop. I told you that these males wanted to mate with you.
Her words, theirs, they got louder and louder, but remained undigested. That meant… When Kael… That time with Lorien… Which meant Lance…? I dared to look up and saw the man was staring at me fixedly, which meant I needed to respond. Say something, anything, I thought, right as the barmaid appeared.
“Five beers?”
With a nod from Dain, she placed them in front of us as he passed her some copper coins. The silence that fell over the table was quite different to one from before. Finally, I wrapped my hand around the tankard and took a sip. The bitter, hoppy brew helped clear my head as I faced them down.
“I don’t know what to say.”
That was honest, if inadequate.
“What you’re feeling.” Kael’s voice had become a low growl, his gaze intent. “That’s all you can say.”
Making me laugh was not what he intended, but it happened anyway.
“You do.” With little effort, I conjured quite a different memory.
Him striding up the stairs of the keep in front of everyone and laying claim to me.
“The rest of us?” My focus couldn’t help but shift to Lance.
The man looked positively stricken, perhaps regretting his words. “We aren’t so brutally honest.”
“Well, she’s got you pegged,” Lorien said, holding up his mug, then taking a sip.
“I was prepared…” I started to say.
Since coming to the keep, I barely thought of my home, my parents. Perhaps that was terribly disloyal.
You cracked from your egg, Auren said, her voice a warm, comforting presence. Now you’re learning to fly.
Baby birds, when they’re just learning, I replied. They fall from the nest, flap around inefficiently.
Until they learn how to become what they are born to be. As my bondmate, you are a queen too. These males, you needn’t give them another thought if they are unworthy. You and I, we’ll find our way to Blackreach.
But what if we don’t?
It wasn’t my lack of faith in her abilities, but something else that had me asking that.
What if…? My eyes were greedy, taking in the way Lance’s knuckles had turned white as his hands formed fists.
Lorien’s dagger was out again and flipped over and over as he waited me out.
Kael’s fingers playing with the tiny hairs at my nape again and Dain—?
“I need a piss.”
He got up and stalked off without even a sidelong look.
“I was brought up to follow the rules my mother and father set out for me,” I said.
“To learn all the pointless things a lady must to be deemed accomplished. I am very good with watercolours, can embroider passably well, as long as the design isn’t intricate, and learned all the skills I’d need to run my own household.
” I looked at each man in turn. “But I’m assuming that’s not what you want me for. ”
“I can cook, clean, and darn my own socks,” Lance replied. “You’d never have to lift a finger if you chose me.”
“Elsie made sure we’d never be a burden on any woman that took us on,” Lorien explained. “Just don’t let Kael in the kitchen.”
“I burned an omelette once,” the man in question spluttered.
“And the stew and the vegetables and even water, if you can believe it.” Lorien grinned when I let out an involuntary snort. “But I can cook. Growing up with seven sisters, they made sure I knew what I was doing in the kitchen.”
“But as for what we want?” Kael’s voice had grown low and throaty. His arm slipped down, wrapping it around my waist and pulling me closer so our thighs were pressed against each others. “I think you know. Your parents might’ve filled your head with silly things, but a woman knows.”
Did I? Was that why my heart was rattling in my chest, beating faster and faster? Was it the source of a nervous tension that had me fairly quivering? Not knowing was driving me mad. Just like when I’d fallen from Auren’s saddle, I felt I was spiralling out of control.
“Care to dance?”
Another brave soul appeared by the table, staring down at me, but before Kael or Lorien could respond, Lance was on his feet.
“Fern’s dancing with me.” He held out a hand, gazing into my eyes as he tried to gauge my response. “Fern…?”
Baby birds learn to fly by throwing themselves out of the nest, some instinct forcing them to ignore the massive drop beneath. Perhaps it was the same thing that had me sliding my hand in his.
“Dance?” It felt like I’d spent my life waiting for this moment and now it’d come? It was a million times better than the books I read. “I’d love to.”