Chapter 45 #2
Fern woke me up from a prophetic dream, but it was only now I worked out what it meant.
When I saw her about to walk into a place, I assumed it was some part of the Tomb of Terror that she was stumbling into.
Instead, she made her way down the end of the hall.
My room was on the opposite side. I chose it because being next to one of the guests rooms, it was away from all the noise and clatter of the children.
Fern putting her hand on the wrong door shouldn’t have been an issue.
I kept my room locked at all times. Children were curious creatures, and they liked to invade my space too often for me to leave it unlocked.
So Fern shouldn’t have been able to twist the knob and push the door open.
“No…” I hissed, the habitual fear of waking the household keeping me quiet. Then I saw her face. Eyes widening, a hand going to her mouth, I could just imagine what she was seeing. “No.” I was striding faster and faster, but she took an unsteady step forward. “Don’t go in there. No!”
Saving Fern from falling to her death, that was an aberration, because it was the only time one of my dreams failed to come true.
I was too late. Stumbling into the room, trying to understand the scene before me, it soon became clear why the door was unlocked.
Ivy, my sister, had obviously jimmied the lock, but that didn’t explain why she was lying on my bed in just one of my old shirts.
Her look of horror, then her grabbing my blankets to cover herself, was not part of my vision.
I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d foreseen this.
“You…” Ivy pointed a finger at Fern, her eyes flicking from the woman standing there and the same person depicted in all of the artworks pinned on the wall.
“Every single one of these drawings is of you.” Her blue eyes filled with pain as she stared at me.
I understood its nature, if not the reason for it.
“It’s her, isn’t it? Argent has found his mate and so she’s the one you’re meant to be with. ”
Time to tell your mate the truth, Argent said, and your sister.
“What the hell are you doing in here, Ivy?” Kael snapped, and it wasn’t hard to see the resemblance. Both bastard children of the old duke, though with completely different mothers.
“Kael!” Elsie appeared in the doorway, all bleary-eyed. “Dain… Ivy…?” Her face fell, her disappointment plain. “Oh, you silly girl. Get to your own bed, now.”
Ivy scurried out of the room, but that only resolved one half of the problem.
“What…?” Fern was turning in a circle, scanning the walls and that was wrong, wrong.
I didn’t show anyone my drawings, allow any of the family in here.
This was the one place in the world where I was free to let it all pour out.
The great roiling, thrashing sea serpent of emotion that threatened to swallow me whole. “What is this?”
Tell her. Argent’s tone was uncharacteristically soft. Brother—
Meet me on the roof, I ordered.
“Dain… Fern…” Elsie said.
“Be a good time for a cup of tea, I reckon,” Barry growled. “We can talk things through and…”
I’ll never know why my brothers tolerated my presence.
The reason why I was the last remaining member of my family was because I’d slipped over the wall and out onto the streets beyond before the fire took hold.
I’d run then, and I’d run now. Leg over the windowsill and then I was out and on the porch roof.
My boots clattered across the wooden tiles, right up until the point I leapt free.
Argent swept in, breaking my fall and flying off as I fought to pull myself into the saddle. I did it though, finally settling back as he flew over the trees.
We had our secret places, my dragon and I. Plenty of times the close atmosphere of the estate got too much for me and we’d come out here. This time it was the scant remains of an old ruin, situated up on a hill. Up here, it was like I could see every star in the sky as I jumped down.
Brother— Argent said.
No.
But—
No.
With a long sigh, the tension started to leave my body.
Trouble was shame had been waiting its turn patiently and now it took over.
The heels of my hands were pressed into my sockets, my eyes aching in response.
I wanted, needed, that pain. It competed with the ache of my own heart, beating too hard, too fast.
Make it stop. I fell to my knees before my dragon. His breath felt hot on my skin, tainted by the stink of rotten meat. Brother—
You know I can’t. We are brothers. His muzzle nudged at my chest. We are bound together until death. Perhaps even beyond that.
Then take this. My jacket was ripped open, my hand finding the secret pocket inside it, before I pulled free the journal. Destroy it, Argent.
No.
Destroy it! Just then I felt a flare of desperate hope. His eyes gleamed like twin pools of mercury, reflecting back the celestial glow of the stars. I could get lost within them, forgetting what happened, then my name, then all of the events of my stupid life. Destroy the journal, brother.
Because I had imagined the moment when Fern saw my drawings far too many times.
Over and over, I fantasised about finally meeting the other half of my soul.
She’d see my work and somehow know what it was, what she meant to me.
I’d look up, and she’d rush into my arms. Instead…
She stared at me with a look of horror. My eyes fell closed again, but this time the muscles weren’t screwed up against the pain.
I breathed through one wave, then the next.
Destroy it, please. If you love me at all—
You carry it close to your heart for a reason, Dain. It has taken on your soul’s resonance.
And that was the problem.
I snatched the book up, flicking through the pages, going to tear one free, then another.
I’d rip them into tiny pieces… Of course, I had to open it on that page.
A ruffle haired Fern when she first came face to face with Auren, the two of them teetering on the precipice of something, but was it greatness or destruction?
I could find out if I searched my visions long enough.
Opening myself up to the powerful tide that threatened to drown me, I’d discover what would happen. Instead, my hand whipped up, throwing the book out into the darkness, then I walked away before I even heard it hit the ground.
I’m going to sleep, I told Argent, doubting my words as soon as I thought them. And then in the morning, we’ll work out what to do next.
I’d intended to lie on the wet grass, but a wing went over me, shutting out the sky, the breeze, the cold, everything, reducing my world down to just my dragon and me.
Few humans can bear the weight of dragon sight and survive it. His head settled down beside mine. You heard my cries from inside my shell.
The night my parents died, I said, following the tracery of veins on the inside of his wing. And every night afterwards, until we were forced into the caves. Then you were nestled against my chest. My eyes rolled sideways to see him watching me with one eye. And we were bonded.
Dragon sight is a terrible thing, but like all weapons, it can be used for good or ill. Sleep, brother. My eyes fell closed despite myself. When you dream, the answers will come, whether you want them or not.
That was exactly why I fought sleep, tonight and every other night, but the exhaustion of half a day of flying and this evening’s insanity would not be denied. My breathing evened out, my body growing heavier and heavier until…
Fern reached for a glowing egg. This wasn’t a memory of Argent’s hatching, because the egg was far smaller than a dragon’s and cold and hard to touch. A Tanis stone… my dragon said.
What is…?
My words trailed away as the walls of the cave began to shake.
Pebbles dropped from the ceiling, then larger rocks, forcing me to move.
My arm went around Fern’s waist, dragging her limp form towards the entrance.
Slabs of stone were now hitting the ground, like knives aimed for our backs.
Dodge around them! I thought furiously. Run! Get Fern out of here. Get her…
The horrific sound of rock being torn in two had my internal monologue faltering.
I watched in horror, pinned to the spot, as a massive fissure formed.
Fern moaned in my arms, but I couldn’t focus on her, not now.
The shaking got more violent and that dislodged the wall of the cavern.
It fractured in more and more pieces, and that meant the structure could not be sustained.
My eyes went wide, aching as the whole cave collapsed.
“NO!”
I woke with a start, blinking wildly as I stared at the sky. My brain fought to recognise where I was. The ruins, the hill outside the estate and Argent.
Brother?
That’s what’s going to happen? There was a terrible finality about his voice. Then we must ensure it doesn’t. The only way we can do that is if–
We return to the estate.
Gods, perhaps last night was a boon. Fern had seen my shame, so there was nothing more to lose.
Throwing myself at her feet, begging her not to go to Blackreach.
The place was cursed by more than just the ghost of Drathnor.
Every single street, every house, every stone contained memories I didn’t want to revisit.
I should’ve known taking her there was a mistake.
We’d find other ancient dragons. There was supposed to be a massive ice dragon buried on the king’s estates outside the city…
Let’s go then, Argent said with a nudge.
Pulling on my jacket, grabbing my sword, I saw that more of my possessions had been placed beside me when I slept. I held up the journal and Argent looked away like a dog confronted with evidence of his destruction.
Was this you? I asked.
You can hide your heart, pretend it does not beat for your mate and your brothers.
You can tear out every page, but it won’t change things.
You could’ve burned that journal on a fire, tossed it in a dung heap, let it fall into the sea as we passed over the bay, but you can’t.
That silver eye peered at me more closely.
Any more than you can throw your own heart away.
That journal will always be a part of you and the pain you suffer will ease when you finally accept that.
Not today, I growled. As he rose to his feet, I pulled myself up and into the saddle. We need to get back to the estate, try and convince those idiots that going to the Tomb of Terror is a mistake.
Maybe Elsie will make her famous pancakes, he replied.
I shook my head, smiling despite my mood. My dragon knew his priorities and right now, that was food.
You’re only saying that because she makes you one the size of her head as a treat, I said.
And puts that sweet sauce on top of it. His wings flapped out and he made a run for the crest of the hill. If we get there early, I can pretend to be Brightfang or Slate and steal theirs.
He climbed higher and higher into the air, until I could lean over and see the estate in the distance. Comfort and shame were strange bedfellows, but I made room for both as we flew closer, knowing that only one would win out.