2. Paige
Paige
A round me, stacks of books sit dusty and untouched from where Hoc left them last. I ignore them just like I’ve been doing since the moment this office became mine two weeks ago.
Instead, I stare at the words on the screen until they begin to blur together into one indistinguishable line of virtual goo.
My head pounds, each beat of my heart like a heavy drum in my ears.
Removing my glasses, I pinch the bridge of my nose and breathe deeply, trying to find some semblance of sanity in the midst of the chaos my life has become.
A part of me is still hoping to wake up and discover that this is all some kind of twisted mind game. A test, maybe, to see if I’m ready to be a keeper rather than the role of head librarian I’ve been thrust into.
But each and every day I wake up in this living nightmare, I’m forced to face realizations I wish I could bury.
Just a few weeks ago, everything had been going according to plan. I was working as a soon-to-be keeper in the Athenaeum, a secret supernatural library hidden in the Earth realm, spending my evenings listening to spicy audiobooks and drinking wine.
I had Hoc.
My eyes mist, and I push to my feet to pace.
I can still smell him in here. The foresty musky smell that belongs to the troll who raised me.
Not to mention the hidden door to his private apartment glamoured over where it stands along the back wall, charmed against anyone else’s entry but his.
I’ve yet to go in there. It feels too personal, especially knowing he’s going to return. Because he will return.
He has to.
Hoc’s the only father I’ve ever known, and now…
my throat swells, so I take a deep, steadying breath, stopping to study a picture of the two of us he always kept on his desk.
In fact, this office is full of his personal effects that I haven’t removed despite the fact that it’s been two weeks and I still don’t know where Hoc is or whether he’s alive.
Two weeks since Constantine ripped away the only father I ever knew and changed the trajectory of my life forever.
True to her word, the Athenaeum hasn’t re-appeared. No matter how many times I call out to her. No matter how many different moments I’ve demanded she tell me how to summon the mysterious council…she remains silent and aloof.
If it weren’t for the memories she showed me, I would have wondered if I imagined all of it. Through Hoc’s experiences, I gleaned nearly all I need to know about the daily tasks of running this place, though I still struggle to keep up with the workload.
It’s as though he moved at twice the speed I can.
So, in spite of the nightmare my life has become, I continue to sit here day after day, attempting to run this place the way Hoc would have wanted me to.
It’s all I can do for him now, so I force myself to try. Even if my thoughts are always precariously resting on the edge of panic.
After re-steadying my constantly fraying nerves, I take my seat back behind Hoc’s desk and stare at the screen displaying a shelving request. The moment I do, the nausea I’ve been living with returns.
How to choose which books get shelved in our library was something Hoc never had the chance to show me, nor do his memories offer any insight, and the backlog as I painstakingly stare at each of the requests grows with every single second.
Dangerous books are a no-brainer. Magical novels that contain creatures who would otherwise cause death and destruction get locked down tight.
But how do you decide when the line is not so easily drawn? When it’s not black and white but rather a shade of grey?
That’s what I’m currently giving myself a stress migraine over. Playing eenie meenie miney moe seems a deadly game when dealing with magical creatures who could potentially destroy the world.
The door opens, and four male gnomes jump up onto my desk.
Ted, Ned, Zed, and Fred are identical in every single way, ranging from their matching white hair and long, white beards to the clothes that they wear.
Dark slacks and blue shirts that are made from light, breathable material and offer them freedom of movement—and believe me, they can move like acrobatic ninjas when they want to.
Key words: when they want to. They can also be insanely lazy and temperamental.
The four of them have been a part of the library’s defense system for as long as I can remember.
Apparently, gnomes age slowly and live way longer than any other creature I know.
Despite their mischievous ways, the quadruplets have always been there when I needed them.
Right now, all I need is for them to be somewhere else.
“What do you want?” I ask, snapping the words a bit ruder than I meant.
Ted narrows his gaze at me, and I note his pointed hat stained with something I’d really rather not know about. “You’re moody.”
“I’m busy. So, if you’re here to point out the obvious, see yourself out.”
“We want candy,” he says. “You haven’t fed us candy in weeks now.”
“I’ve been busy,” I repeat. “Get your own candy.”
“We can’t,” Ned argues.
“Then ask Blossom.”
“She said no,” Zed chimes in, pouting.
Something in me snaps at yet another person’s request. It’s all I do these days.
Focus on what everyone else wants. They want a book in the library?
Fine. They need to check a book out? Okay.
They want permission to browse the stacks?
Be my guest. The gnomes want candy? Well, they can get their own this time.
“Then what do you expect me to do?” I yell, slamming both palms down on the desk.
Irritation turns to anxiety in my chest, and I take a deep breath.
“I cannot do everything, and if you haven’t already figured it out, I have enough on my plate! ”
Ted stumbles back a step, his eyes widening as he stares back at me in surprise.
That surprise quickly turns to anger, though, and his little cheeks flush with color.
“You promised us that you would take care of us. Yet, lately, you work us even harder to make up for the fact that you’ve sent your other keeper on secret missions.
Now, you have the nerve to yell at us?” He looks to the other gnomes.
Frustrated beyond belief, I do the only thing I’ve managed to master as head librarian. I raise my arm and conjure a portal. It swirls into life before us, and the gnomes stare at it before turning to me. “Then go. There’s your ticket. Leave. Get your damned candy yourselves; then come back.”
“We can’t leave,” Ted snaps. “It’s against our vow. You know this!”
I lower my arm, disengaging the portal. “Neither can I.”
“Hoc always got us deliveries,” Zed pouts.
“Well, I’m not Hoc. Getting you candy is not an ability I have right now. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m barely breathing.”
Ted shakes his head. His expression is one of anger, but I can see the hurt lurking in his eyes. “We don’t have to take this. Let’s go.” He turns back to me and scoffs. “Rude girl,” he sneers as he jumps from my desk. The others follow.
“Rude?” I all but explode out of my chair. “I am working non-stop to keep this place running smoothly, and you’re in here harassing me about candy! As if that’s important!”
He glares at me. “To us, it is. And we used to be important to you.” Then they storm out of my office and slam the door.
I sink back down into my chair and press a hand to my heart. My chest aches, a constant pain I’ve grown used to. I wanted so badly to prove myself. To keep this place running smoothly so that, when Hoc returns, he’ll be proud of me.
Yet, here I am, failing every time I turn around.
The gnomes are pissed and overworked.
Blossom is handling the job of two keepers.
Mag is distracted, scouring the worlds for Hoc.
Aries is doing a job he never asked for.
Bingo is barely sleeping, constantly on alert.
And I’m stuck trying to decide which books are dangerous enough to need our protection while this supposed council that I’m not even sure actually exists anymore is MIA.
Looking up at the ceiling, I shake my head. “You made a mistake,” I tell the library. “And if you have the ability to, you need to summon the council here so they can help us fix it.”
The only answer is deafening silence.
“Fine.” I add two more books to the library, decline a third, and then switch back to my research on the council.
Why haven’t they shown up yet?
Is it possible that Constantine got to them, too? But even as I think it, I shove that thought aside. If he had gotten to them, the library would have simply chosen three new members, and they would have arrived already. That much I can see from Hoc’s memories.
My computer dings, letting me know that another request has come in.
But before I can even click on it, the door opens again.
Agitation creeps up my spine until my gaze lands on my dragon king.
Accidentally freeing Aries from his book was a mistake of the highest order according to the library’s rules, but it’s also the best thing I ever did because it brought me a love I only ever thought possible in fiction.
Besides, if Athenaeum was pissed about it, she had her chance to tell me.
The fact that she never mentioned it has made me bolder where he’s concerned.
Ten days ago, I made him an honorary keeper, and he’s been working here ever since.
My pulse quickens at the sight of him dressed in dark jeans, a tight white t-shirt, and an open leather jacket. Thanks to Mag and his shopping obsession, my dragon has been outfitted head to toe, finally wearing something more than the sweats I made him when he first arrived a few weeks ago.
Not that I minded the sweat pants.
“You look stressed,” he says, his deep baritone washing over me like a warm blanket.
“Gee. Thanks. You look great, too.”