13. Paige
Paige
T he zombie hand Blossom severed is gone when I arrive in the basement the following morning.
I have no idea whether the gnomes removed it and disposed of it or Bingo made it a meal.
Either way, I decide it’s best not to think about it and instead focus on the task at hand.
Somehow, the stack of books in the basement looks even more imposing than it did before.
I stare at them, as I have been for the past ten minutes, all but willing Hoc to pop out of one of them. Thankfully, tears elude me now.
I’m all griefed out.
Seeing Mag bleeding out all over Blossom’s couch cemented the fact that Hoc is never coming back. Risking the library and its keepers is not something he would ever want me doing, which means our search ends here and now.
It has to. Even if doing so tears my heart out.
I step forward and run my fingers over the covers of the books we collected when Hoc vanished through that portal.
He’s somewhere inside one of these worlds, and now I’ll never know which one—or what truly became of the man who was the only father I ever knew.
Looking up, I all but will the Athenaeum to appear.
To show herself and deliver me the answers I seek. But I know she won’t. Deep down, I know that I am on my own with this even if I am surrounded by friends.
The door opens and I glance over as Blossom stops in the doorway. Her eyes are puffy from lack of sleep, her white hair up in a bun on top of her head. She already has a massive cup of coffee in her hand, and I’d be willing to bet it’s not her first one of the night.
Honestly, since it’s not even dawn yet, I can’t help but wonder if she didn’t sleep even when Aries took over watching Mag a couple of hours ago. “I thought I might find you down here.” She closes the door and moves down the stairs toward me. “You okay?”
“How’s Mag?” I ask because unpacking the can of worms that is my current mental state seems like a poor idea.
“Alive. Tough bastard.” She shakes her head, eyeing the book he’d come out of as it lies off to the side. No one’s touched it since that moment, and thankfully, it hasn’t moved on its own.
“How are you handling him being hurt?” I eye her closely, noting the telltale signs of a relationship I’d somehow missed.
She levels her steely gaze on me. “I’m assuming you’ve figured it out, then.”
“Anyone within a ten-mile radius of you two would have figured it out. When did it start?”
“A few weeks ago,” she replies, sighing. “I needed someone and he was just—there.”
From the looks they were giving each other, I’m pretty sure he means more to her than just being “there” at an opportune time. But I don’t point that out when she’s clearly not ready to admit it yet. “Mag is a good man. Once you get past his more—”
“Irritating qualities?” she questions with a grin.
“Exactly.”
She hesitates. “So, you’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad?”
“It’s technically against the rules for keepers to date.”
“Look, I’m not saying you should send an announcement to the council members, but I’m not going to stand in the way of your happiness. You both deserve the best. And besides, it’s not like I have any room to talk. I’m in love with a man who I accidentally and unknowingly ripped from his world.”
Blossom laughs. “I guess you wrote the book on forbidden.”
“Ha-ha. Good one.”
“I thought so.” She takes a drink from her coffee. “But seriously, thanks, Paige.” Blossom looks relieved.
“Is that why you kept this from me? Because of the rules?”
“No,” she admits, her cheeks flushing. “I mean, come on. It’s Mag.
My rep is built on hating him.” We both laugh, and she shakes her head.
“I don’t know when it happened, but I really like him.
Seeing him hurt like that—” She shakes her head, looking far more vulnerable than I ever remember the unicorn shifter being.
“I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn't pulled through.”
I sling an arm around her and squeeze gently, wondering if she realizes that she’s in love with the gargoyle. Because now that I’ve been in it, that particular emotion is one I recognize well. “I know exactly how you feel, and all we can be grateful for is that he did survive.”
“When Aries was hurt, how did you not lose your mind?”
I think back to finding Aries with a basilisk bite, bleeding out on the floor of my bedroom after he’d come through a tunnel Constantine used to get in and out of my apartment.
It had been full of creatures he’d released, and Aries walked right into it without backup.
“Honestly, I had you, Hoc, and Mag. I knew with all of you on my team, he’d be fine. ”
“And now we’re down one.” Blossom shakes her head. “I know I’m here to serve what essentially equates to a prison sentence, but I really liked Hoc.”
I nod because my throat tightens.
“I’m really sorry you lost him,” she tells me. “I know he was like a father to you.”
“The only one I’ve ever known,” I reply.
She glances at the stacked books. “If you want to keep looking—”
“No. Hoc wouldn’t want us risking our lives for him. In fact, he’d be rather disappointed.”
Blossom laughs softly. “Can’t you hear it in his Hoc voice? ‘Paige, you are being reckless again. You need to stop, or you’ll end up with your memories wiped. And Blossom, you know the rules about fraternization. Now, both of you, stop giving the gnomes candy.’”
We laugh, and instead of focusing on my grief, I’m allowed a brief moment of joy at the memories I shared with him. “He was a great man.”
“The best,” Blossom agrees. “Have you given any thought to what we talked about?”
“Using my magic?”
She nods.
I sigh. “I don’t know how to do it. And even if I could, do I really want to? Last time it was used, monsters got into the library, and Hoc was taken. Maybe I’m better off leaving it alone.”
“Mag was right, Paige. Magic isn’t good or evil. It’s based entirely on the user.”
“Fair enough, but Constantine wanted me to use it. Doing so feels like I’m giving into what he wanted.”
“Except you’ll be using it to bring Hoc back,” she says. “Not to destroy the library.”
“And if I accidentally do destroy the library in the process?”
“You’ll have your team to build it back, brick by brick.” She sighs. “Now, I need to go check on Mag again. I came down to get him one of those cups of noodles he insists on eating.” She rolls her eyes. “You good?”
I nod. “Aries still patrolling the stacks?”
“He is. And trying to keep tabs on our least favorite council member.”
“Tawny is a handful.”
“Not Tawny,” she replies, eyes narrowing. “Oliver.”
“Oliver? Why?”
She arches a brow. “Tawny is predictable in her hatred of you. But Oliver keeps doing things that leave me questioning his motives. Sorry, Paige, but I’m with Aries on that one.
” She takes the stairs quickly then pauses to look back at me.
“Do you want me to send the gnomes or Bingo down? They can help until I can get back.”
“Nah. They need to be patrolling. I’ll be fine. These are all sealed.”
Blossom nods. “Well, I’ll be back to help you shelve them. Don’t try to do all of it alone. You already have too much on your plate.”
I smile, though I imagine it looks as hollow as I feel. As soon as she shuts the door, I turn and face the stack of books again. No better time than now to get started, I suppose.
Crossing the floor, I bend and lift the book Mag was attacked in. I stare down at the simple-looking journal, looking for a title, but see none. It’s likely the handbook for a dark sorcerer or some curse manual. Still, it would have been nice if Hoc had been inside.
If he’d been in any of the ones they’ve already searched.
“Magic is neither good nor bad.”
The words ring out in my mind as I set the book on top of the stack. I stare at them once more. This is our last chance. After today, these books will be re-shelved on the main floor of the library in their own stacks. In their own rows.
I close my eyes.
And even though my fear tells me not to risk it, I can’t help but give my magic a shot. I’m not even sure what else I have to lose. “Okay, Paige,” I whisper to myself as I reach down inside myself to feel that still alien part of me. Power that I don’t quite understand and, frankly, terrifies me.
It’s always there, though. Lurking deep within.
Once, I’d thought it was my keeper magic or some wellspring of the library’s alchemy inside me.
But now I know it’s all mine—whatever it is.
For a moment, I hesitate, unsure what to do with it.
But then an idea forms. Reaching back through my memory, I picture the spell book I’d read through the other day and the words written for a locator spell.
I’d tried it and failed, but if I’m being honest, I’d only pretended to call on my magic.
I hadn’t been willing to actually engage it.
Here goes...
Almost silently, I whisper the spell aloud now.
“Near, far, through time and stars. I command these worlds by thought and sound, let the one whom I seek finally be found.”
Once. Twice. Then on the third time, power unlike anything I’ve ever felt surges through me. Like lightning in my veins, it snaps through me then crackles in the musty air of the basement.
My eyes snap open.
The books begin to shake.
I back away from them, though I maintain my hold on the locator spell because, although it’s faint, I can feel something. Like the tugging of a string inside of me. Then, I stumble backward as light suddenly explodes from the stack of books.
It’s so bright I have to close my eyes, and when I open them again, I’m no longer alone in the room. A familiar body lies prone on the floor, unmoving. Dread coils in my stomach moments before heart-stopping grief shoots through me.
“No!” I scream and rush forward, falling to my knees beside a pale corpse.
Hoc’s eyes are closed, his face gaunt and pale.
The stench of death fills my lungs, and I realize with horrific clarity that he’s been dead for quite some time.
His brown hair is matted with dried blood as is the front of his shirt.
Tears stream down my face and bile rises in my gut. I lean over and wretch, my shoulders shaking as the contents of my stomach come up. Through it all, tears flow, and sobs wrack my body.
The basement door flies open. I can’t see who is there through the sheen of my tears.
But then Aries is beside me, pulling me against his chest. “I’ve got you, my love.”
Another set of boots sounds on the stairs as someone else joins us. “Shit!” Blossom.
“Come on.” Aries lifts and carries me from the basement, but the stench of death remains in my nostrils. And the sight of Hoc’s lifeless face is burned into my mind. Seared into my soul. If knowledge is power, then why the hell does knowing he’s gone make me feel so powerless?
The image of him flashes into my mind, over and over again, a horrific playlist on repeat.
Hoc is dead.
Gone.
Forever.