Chapter Ten #3
“You don’t have to do anything for me,” I say quickly, sensing the rising tension between the guys, though I don’t know what caused it.
Surely True can’t be lacking in potential hookups.
The guy looks like a wet dream. Scratch that—he is a wet dream.
I’ve had the sheets to prove it on multiple occasions.
We’ve been getting along well after a bit of a rough start, though, and I don’t want to ruin it over a silly holiday.
“We should,” Pax says, smiling at me over the rim of his mug. “Not just for you. I’ve never seen a real Queen’s Day celebration either. We can leave True here to sleep if he doesn’t want to go out.”
“It was her idea,” True says, turning back to the iron. He lifts the lid to reveal another perfect, brown hotcake.
“You made my favorites,” I say, my heart melting at his thoughtfulness.
He shrugs in response, then hands Pax the next hotcake on a plate.
“I gave you the iron,” Pax reminds me.
I shake my head and hand him a fork. “True takes such good care of us. We can’t leave him here to sleep by himself.”
“If you’re offering…” True says, and a swear I catch a little gleam of mischief in those usually-serious eyes before he turns back to the iron.
My face flames when I realize how my words sounded—and his response.
“She’s not,” Pax says, cheerfully shoveling food into his mouth. “We’ll all go out together. Drink some mead, hang out like regular students for an evening.”
“We are regular students,” I point out.
“I don’t think it’s a great idea to get sloppy tonight,” True says. “Things can get a little wild on Queen’s Day, and not just the humans. Supes too.” He gives me a pointed look, as if to show he’s not singling out humans.
“Yeah, I heard the local goblin glen sacrifices a virgin for Queen’s Day every year,” Pax says. “The Goblin King goes first, and then the whole lot of them takes turns until they literally fuck her to death. Afterwards, they drink her blood to show their thanks for another prosperous year.”
True glares at him. “And you want to expose Vynessa to that?”
“She’s not a goblin,” Pax says. “She’ll be fine. Plus, she’ll be with me.”
“Us.” They stare each other down for a long minute.
“That’s what we’re here for,” I say, clearing my throat. “To experience student life. You only live once. Let’s do it.”
Pax raises his mug and bumps mine with it. “Let us treat you right for an evening,” he says. “We’ve hardly shown you a good time since school started.”
“Oh, so now you’re going to show me a good time,” I tease. “I thought you reserved that treatment for your many lovers.”
“What lovers?” Pax asks, quirking a smile at me as he slips an arm around my waist and pulls me close. “You’re the only one I care about, Ness. You know that.”
Suddenly, my throat is dry, and the previously delicious hotcake is paste in my mouth.
My heart hammers in my chest, terror and paralyzing hope mixing inside me.
If only I could believe his words. If only I really did know that.
He’s admitted he wants me, and he said that it could never be no strings attached.
But he never said anything about a relationship.
If I tell him that I love him, that I’ve always loved him, that I’m in love with him, I have no idea what he would do. If he’d say it back.
I can’t bring myself to say it because then I’ll know the truth once and for all. And if it’s an ugly truth, I’ll lose him forever.
I know he’d say we could still live together and nothing would have to be different, but it would.
How could I face him every day after the rejection, after being that vulnerable and having him tell me he wants to stay just friends?
It would be too pathetic to stay after that.
I’d be forced to move out to save my pride, not to mention my mangled heart.
It would break all over again every time I saw his face. Living together would be too painful.
A pounding on the front door makes all three of us spin around. In the months we’ve lived here, Sadie is the only person who has visited.
“Maybe for you…?” I look over at Pax. A dropping sensation in my stomach follows. The question buzzing around my head—whether the tension between us indicates that he feels the same—would be answered in a definitive way by having his lover show up at our door.
He shakes his head. “I’m not expecting anyone.”
True growls, “Stay here.”
He stalks toward the front door. Pax and I stare at each other, both of our brows furrowed. Then True is back, holding a box wrapped in red paper. My name is on the card, but True starts to open it.
“Hey!” I protest. “It says Vynessa.”
I reach for the present, but True blocks my path, ripping the present open and revealing a second box. He’s so fast that I don’t even have time to protest before he opens the box inside, revealing what looks like a bodysuit made of gems and feathers.
“Whoa.” I lean past True, staring at the garment I’m not even sure what to call. Queen’s Day suit? Bejeweled undergarment?
True makes a low sound in his throat and then turns around, holding the box up. “It’s safe.”
“Who’s it from?” I can’t even muster anger at True while looking down at the dress-corset thing. It’s too colorful and mesmerizing to my eyes. True fiddles with the packaging and pulls out the card.
When I open it with a finger, I find a card inside but no name. The card simply has a picture of leaves blowing in the wind, and inside, it says, “I’m sorry.”