Chapter 11 #2
“I already took care of that. I gave Yuless a call, imposed on him, gave him a card with money on it, and sent him off to the feed store. I even paid penance and bought him a new truck, as he is quite taken with yours. I also got you a trailer that does not have luxury accommodations within it but can haul an obscene number of horses. It’s your horse evacuation trailer, and you’ll just cram everyone in.
It even comes with dividers, so you can segregate your livestock if needed.
So, the trailer is part of your compensation for making a mess of your barn, but the truck is his because I’m cruelly abusing him.
I heard about the pie requirements, and I admire your cunning.
I regret I had not considered such a condition first. Then again, my darling would have just beaten better manners into me and sent me to a bakery to buy her pie.
She does not trust me with cooking anything other than baked potatoes.
My baked potatoes are perfection, this is true.
However, I question her stance, as I am perfection. ”
“No, she is perfection, you’re just a lucky laze who benefits from her perfection.”
Lucifer gasped, clutched at his chest, and fell off my desk.
I ignored his antics and returned to reading the obscene number of emails cluttering my new email box. “A replacement barn, Lucifer. My cows and my horses need posh accommodations, and they currently have rubble.”
“You do realize that your horses and cattle are perfectly capable of spending a few nights outdoors, right?”
“Fix my barn, you brain-dead hussy!” I bellowed, snapping my fingers and pointing in the direction of my door. “Do not make me send the Four Horses after you again.”
“That was delightfully ruthless, and you deserve to be rewarded for that. They actually made it hurt when they caught up to me.”
“Go ask your perfect wife to kiss and make it all better for you. I have work to do, and you’re getting in the way of me getting it done.”
“I usually have to coach the minions before they get mouthy with me,” the Devil complained.
“If you wanted me docile, you wouldn’t have destroyed my barn.”
The Devil whined from his place on my floor. “But the barn would have hurt your horses.”
“That is why I’m not actively trying to kill or curse you right this moment.
I just gave the horses some exercise along with a reminder they like me more than they like you.
For good reason. They’re going to get groomed, given treats, and set out to the pasture with the other horses, and everyone will be a happy family. ”
“The Four Horses are stallions,” Lucifer warned me.
That caught my attention. “But can I register their foals as thoroughbreds?”
It amused me that my question made the Devil splutter. “No.”
“I’ll ask them nicely not to breed with my ladies, then.
Anyway, I don’t want to breed my ladies until they’re at least four years old.
But if they are interested in sessions with my ladies, arrangements may be made.
It would be nice to have some horses who will be nothing more than beloved pets from birth. My current children are all rescues.”
“That stands a good chance of working,” he admitted.
“Go away, Lucifer. Take your family home, and so help me, if you cause me any more problems today, I’m getting on Conquest and giving you a reason to remember you can inconvenience me but you best not bother my animals.
Before you go, fetch Joy, bring her in, and don’t you even think about stealing my phone to unlock the gate again.
Yuless can use the buzzer even when driving a truck. ”
“Tyrant!”
“Bring me my chicken, and I meant it, if the feed was a lie, the entire universe will learn why I should never be crossed, and I will use you as the example.”
A pop announced the departure of the Devil, and I got up to confirm the bastard had left.
Shaking my head, I returned to work, waiting for the arrival of my frizzle.
Ten minutes later, after knocking on my door like a civilized being, Lucifer released the beast into my office.
Joy chirped, and I got up to claim the pullet, take her to my desk, and settle her on my lap. “Thank you, now bugger off. I’m busy.”
“So mean,” he complained, but rather than add to my evening woes, he disappeared with another pop.
I questioned everything about my life, reading over the reviews of what the next few weeks of my work life would look like.
Tomorrow, I’d need to put in a full day around taking care of my beasts and dealing with the consequences of losing my barn.
When I wasn’t actively working, I petted Joy.
Once the chicken showed evidence of needing a nap, I settled her on the bed I’d made for her out of one of my old shirts, stuffed with moss and fluff from cattail plants.
As the last thing I wanted was my darling bird to become ill, I regulated the bed to be a comfortable temperature for her.
With luck, the working would keep her asleep even when I moved her around while I handled my evening chores.
I hated I wouldn’t be able to set my horses up in their stalls and runs, which kept them safe and close to the barn.
Before I could work myself up over it, my phone chimed and informed me someone was at the gate.
I checked the display and tapped on the button to activate the video.
As warned, Yuless had come calling in a truck the match of mine but blue instead of red.
Nice.
I pressed the intercom button and said, “Bring the rig right up to the front door. If you’re worried about the trailer, stop when it starts to curve towards the house.” As he couldn’t see me, I smiled while opening the gate. “I’ll be down shortly.”
“You got it,” he replied before easing the truck and trailer towards the house.
Careful with Joy, I picked her up and carried her downstairs, resting her bed in the crook of an arm. When I stepped outside, Yuless pulled the truck up to the garage, brought it to a halt, and killed the engine before opening the door and hopping out. “Lucifer really destroyed your barn?”
“He really did.”
The tall, dark, and handsome sighed, shook his head, and headed for the back of the trailer. “None of your animals were hurt, right?”
I pointed in the direction of the castle in the lake.
“I’m pretty sure the poor dragon got beaned with a barn.
He seemed capable of flying, so hopefully he survived.
If not, is it really a loss?” I laughed at my own joke.
“But being serious, I think the Destroyer of Georgia survived the barn’s destruction.
Considering how much stone was involved in that building, I’m genuinely impressed it fell from some wind. ”
“Wind took out a building made of stone?”
“There was a lot of wood underneath the veneer, apparently. I thought the building was stone since there was veneer on both sides.” I shrugged. “It’s ultimately my fault. I didn’t have the barn inspected closely enough. I’m just upset I wasn’t able to get my feed and tack out of the barn first.”
As I would need both hands to help haul the feed, I gestured for Yuless to follow me with my free hand. “In good news, I do have a harness and a cart for David, and they weren’t stored in the barn. With some luck, we can make use of him to move everything.”
On the way back to the rubble, I encountered Isaac, who stared at the debris while whistling.
One whistle I understood. The fact he kept doing it over and over pushed my buttons. “Teleportation is rude, and I’m thinking I should build some wards to make certain I’m aware when someone is paying me a visit.”
“I’m just amazed he actually went and did it,” Isaac confessed. “He has been eyeing the barn ever since you moved in.”
Sneaky Lucifer. “I take it he’s been waiting more than a few months to bother with the employment offer?”
“You deserved your slice of paradise, and he didn’t actually need you right then. You needed your moment of happiness.”
That counted as an understatement. “Did you change fields from sex demon to psychologist?”
“It seems so. I’m just lucky there are two dragons entertaining Ashley right now, freeing me to check in on you. Hey, Yuless.”
Yuless, who’d grabbed one of the grain bags, shunted his load onto his shoulder with a grunt. “Did Lucifer goad you into serving as a mule?”
“Yep. Apparently, he has to keep his family from killing him. Crystal, are you aware there are four new horses in your pasture?”
“If you mean the Four Horses, yes. I sent them to beat up Lucifer after he broke my barn. I promised them grooming and treats and pasture time.” I laughed, shook my head, and headed for the utility shed where I’d stashed David’s cart and his harness, neither of which had actually seen any use yet.
After setting Joy’s bed on an empty shelf and making certain she’d be safe while I was gone, I grabbed the harness, careful to keep the straps organized, one of his spare halters, and headed for the track pasture.
Upon spotting me coming, the entire herd trotted over to see what I was about.
I dumped the harness on the fence, made use of the nearby gate, and took the time to give everyone pettings and kisses on their noses.
Aware I had two open mares, I asked the Four Horses of the Apocalypse if they would be polite enough to keep their prowess to themselves until a later and planned date.
They huffed and puffed but bobbed their heads in agreement.
For my first task, I haltered David before dropping the line, his cue he needed to stand still while I worked.
The big horse obeyed, which allowed me to go to work situating the straps on his back and buckle everything.
When I’d bought the set, I’d practiced on the manufacturer’s dummy until my fingers ached and I had memorized the entire process, taking care to listen to the numerous tidbits of advice from the man kind and patient enough to deal with my novice mistakes.