Chapter 18 #2
“Your parents are going to be gloriously confused that they’re in the VIP section with Lucifer,” Isaac reminded me.
“They might be ready to kill you once they realize their baby girl is one of the jockeys. I’m sure you can handle their disapproval.
Yuless and I will be riding with Lucifer once we get to where they live. ”
“That’s going to send a weird message. We’re going to be blocking the street while we pick them up.”
“Lucifer already notified the locals of the disruption. It’ll only take ten minutes, and we’re leaving one lane open.
There will be a pair of cops directing traffic.
Lucifer will be sitting on his rig and posing for the public while you pile your parents into the truck.
It’ll be a madhouse, but it’ll be safe for everyone involved. ”
Lucifer blew his horn on his way by, and I laughed at his antics before closing the gate with my phone, making certain my house was locked, and putting my truck into gear to follow.
For the Lord of Lies and Harbinger of Sin and Debauchery, he took care to follow the posted speed limits and making certain the rig and its precious contents made it to my parents’ home without incident.
As promised, their street had one lane closed, and as we pulled up, the cops moved their vehicle so we could get through.
We parked in front of my parents’ home, a single story stone home in a sea of prefab homes, which survived hurricanes with staunch dedication to defying nature.
My parents waited with their luggage by their car, and I smirked, killing the engine of my baby before hopping out.
I gestured to my truck and trailer with pride.
“Surprise! I am a real adult now. Look what I got.”
My mother, who was an older version of me with dark brown rather than blonde hair, eyed my truck. “Well, there goes your plan to drive her, babe. It appears she came prepared. However, I was not aware we needed an entire trailer each to go to Churchill Downs.”
I grinned. “I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, I’m surprised at the excess, that’s for certain.”
Lucifer kept his engine idling to spare us from having to get the monster restarted. As promised, he got on the hood of his rig and posed for the people cursing having to wait to get down the street.
“Crystal Magnolia Culling, what have you done?” my father burst out.
I laughed at my father’s delayed reaction. Rather than be deterred by his dismay, I bounced forward, hugged both my parents, and hurried to my trailer, getting to work releasing Zenzi and Moon so my baby could have a snack.
The colt behaved, and I beamed at my parents with pride.
“I stole Zenzi from the Devil so I could give Moon a new mommy. His had died, and he was up for sale at the feed shop I frequent. He’s friendly, so go ahead and pet him once he has his meal.
” With that taken care of, I went to retrieve the true surprise of the day, Alligator Bait.
My mare whinnied at the chance to stretch her legs before the next part of our journey. I brought her out, positioned her for display, and announced, “This is my precious angel, and her name is Alligator Bait. The Iroquois Stakes will be our second race, and I’m her owner, trainer, and rider.”
My father dug his phone out of his pocket, spluttered, and checked the device. For a long moment, he stared at the screen, likely comparing her race photos with the flesh and blood horse. “You’re her jockey?”
I scowled. “That’s the part you’re questioning?
I am a lithe, perfectly weighed woman of exceptional breeding and skill.
Of course I’m her jockey. I pulled her out of a slaughter pen for a pittance.
I run her at home, and she missed the track so much I took her to Tampa for a race.
She won. It was the kind of low stakes race nobody pays attention to, so there might be one or two people in the world who realizes she’s actually a good horse.
Since she’s the right age still, I decided I’d give her what she wants the most, and that’s to race.
I’m registered in the jockey club, and I use the loopholes allowing owners to ride and train.
I threw Alligator Bait’s name into the hat, so here we are. ”
“And you knew you were going to be racing when you planned this?”
“Yep.”
“Coal,” my father muttered. “You are so getting coal for Christmas.”
I laughed at his complaints. “I may have lied a little about the hotel, too—well, I kinda lied. You have a suite in a hotel near the track. I’ll be staying elsewhere, but I have a bunch of grain guzzlers with me I need to care for.
You’ll appreciate that on race day, as I have to get the horses settled early for the race.
You’ll be riding with me and my friend Ashley in my truck.
The others will be going with Lucifer in his rig. ”
The Devil waved at my parents.
My mother stared at the Lord of Lies. “When did you start keeping company with him?”
“When he offered me an obscene amount of money to work for him. He’s a great employer, too. My other boss is something else.”
“And who is your other boss?”
“The Destroyer of Georgia.” I shrugged. “So far, he’s tame enough, and when he really irritates me, I pick him up, take him out back, and punt him into the lake. Most of the time, he’s roughly the size of a football. When he behaves, he rides on my shoulder and intimidates people from there.”
The first time I took him to a business meeting, I expected those stuck with him would faint from horror upon realizing a being capable of devouring dead cities could transform into a shoulder dragon.
My parents stared at each other before gaping at my horses, who behaved and enjoyed their time out of the trailer.
“I’ll explain more in the truck, okay? I’d rather not make the horses stay in the trailer any longer than necessary. They’re good babies, but one is a literal baby, so let’s not stress him more than needed.”
* * *
As I couldn’t drive and show my parents pictures of my home, Ashley handled the task, twisting around in her seat to present the various pictures she’d taken of the estate.
My father had gone from gifting me coal for Christmas to dishing out praise, especially when my housemate showed evidence of me having a shoulder dragon from time to time.
She’d also captured pictures of Joy, Mr. Magic the Bold, and Lady. My mother freaked over the alligators, swearing she would teach me my manners, and if I was just creating trouble, she would take me out back and give me a reason to cry.
I busted a gut laughing over the threats, which had stopped working when I turned eight and realized my momma wouldn’t actually beat me for being naughty.
As planned, we stopped for the night halfway to Churchill Downs, although we made use of one of Lucifer’s estates rather than a hotel. My father adored Joy, and to my horror, I realized the living quarters portion of my trailer had a hitchhiker.
I had not planned on an alligator coming along for the ride. Fortunately, at eighteen inches long, she wasn’t a threat to much of anybody.
Lady chirped and cooed at me, engaging in aggressive cuddling the moment she spotted me. Joy joined in, as there was nothing Joy loved more than cuddling.
“Lucifer,” I wailed, hoping the Devil could save me, both from my chicken and the pint-sized predator.
To my amusement, my distress summoned just about everybody, and they caught me holding my poor alligator, who had gotten chilled while riding around in the trailer with Joy, who’d grown into a huge ball of fluff with a tiny tip of visible beak.
I loved my ridiculous frizzle of a chicken, and I would be inconsolable the day she died.
Yuless stared at my reptilian pet, heaved a sigh, and shook his head. “I see. Despite you having asked us to please confirm that blight was in her pond, the blight was not in her pond.”
At least the tall, dark, and handsome, who would work as my groom for the race, understood the severity of the situation. However, I needed to teach him that my precious little girl was not a blight. I kissed Lady’s nose before holding her out to Lucifer. “Please address this problem promptly.”
Laughing, the Devil accepted my pet and settled her on his shoulder before heading off. I assumed he turned the corner before teleporting to keep from startling my parents. They’d accepted his presence readily enough, but he’d done his best to behave for a change.
Darlene giggled. “She loves you, and Lucy will set up a room for her so she can come with us and make sure she has a warming mat in your trailer. He’ll also take care of the transit permit you’ll need for her.
Try not to worry. You’ll be happy she’s with you.
We can keep her at our seats. All your horses will be with us in our area. ”
Right. My magic had made it so Lady couldn’t thrive without me. The other alligators I’d saved did better being left on their own, but Lady? No. Lady needed to be near me to be happy.
She even had a heated bed in my office, and there was a shallow tub so she could hydrate as needed. She wouldn’t be able to stay with me in my office forever, but I’d cross that bridge when we got to it. Fortunately for my sanity, she grew at a slow pace compared to other alligators.
My magic likely had something to do with that.
Sometimes, it did what it wanted, and sometimes, I failed to notice.
I frowned. “Where are your seats if you can keep the horses with you?”
“We have three sets of suites at the finish line, and it’s rather spacious.
It was part of our agreement with the race coordinators to do the demonstration.
After the demonstration race is over, you’ll go to the gate while they’re grooming the track.
Lucifer paid for the practitioners to do the work to allow the demonstration to occur immediately before the race itself. ”
Ah. That was right. Lucifer had more money than sense, and he had no problems with spending excessively. “But I bought tickets for my parents.”
“We’ll give them to someone hoping for seats to the race, never fear.
That’s a race day issue.” Darlene grinned at my parents and winked.
“We have a hobby of messing with her immaculately planned schedule. She’s fun once she realizes her meticulous schedule is no longer organized precisely as she likes it. Crystal, I do have a question for you.”
“What is it?”
“Why did you dump an absolutely obscene amount of work on Durant?”
“Mr. Durant deserved it,” I announced, and I lifted my chin and sniffed.
“He attempted to add me to his hoard again. This time, he attempted to slip a marriage license in with a health insurance and life insurance policy, hoping that I’d just start signing and initialing without reading.
That earned him a punt into the lake after I beat him with the papers. ”
Darlene snickered. “I see. At least it wasn’t pie, right?”
I put some serious thought into crying. “He tried to make a lemon milk pie. It became a curdled horror show, and I’m pretty sure someone failed to explain what custard is to him. I admire his persistence and willingness to make an utter fool of himself, but really? A lemon milk pie?”
“That does sound like a crime against the universe,” the Queen of Hell admitted. “Please tell me that’s everything.”
“Well, that’s everything from yesterday.
I think the only reason I got off lightly was because I was working with the horses for most of the day to prepare for the race.
Then I had to take care of the orchard, teach the house sitters the drop off route for the eggs and fruit, and try not to go insane.
I’m not sure I succeeded on the last part. ”
“You’re fine. But is he even going to be able to make the race with the to-do list you gave him?”
“He’d probably try to eat the horses!”
Yuless burst into laughter. “Why would you think that?”
“I caught him licking David. I punted him across the pasture for that stunt. Because she’s a perfect girl, Zenzi helped.
” I raised a brow at Darlene. “For the record, that was the day before yesterday. When he isn’t trying to slip marriage documents into my paperwork, he’s doing something to push my buttons.
” I pointed at Yuless. “At least all he does is keep trying to figure out how he screwed up a cherry pie with premade crust and canned filling! Rather than go home and destroy his kitchen, he goes to the third floor and attempts to murder Isaac through hysterical laughter. At least Isaac helps with the cleanup.”
The succubus regarded the tall, dark, and handsome with a despairing expression. “Please tell me she’s joking.”
“She’s really not.”
“I regret that rule now. I also regret hanging a sign on my gate informing the world that all single men wishing to enter my domain must bake me a pie, in my kitchen, while supervised, to confirm it hadn’t come from a bakery.
The only good news is that the other dragons, who keep insisting on coming over, have half a clue about how to bake pies.
In better news, they come as a pack and bake enough pies so everyone gets a slice and only a slice, which has spared the poor bathroom scale. ”
“Crystal, are you okay?” Darlene asked.
I thought about it, allowed my shoulders to slump, and I shook my head. “I haven’t had pie or coffee today. Or even tea. I was trying to be a responsible driver.”
The succubus gasped. “Lucifer, it’s an emergency. She hasn’t had coffee yet today.”
Deeper in the mansion he’d taken us to, the Devil chortled.
He came back, and he held Lady in his arms, who had been dressed in a fluffy neon pink onesie.
The alligator dozed, and I assumed he’d handled her hydration and temperature needs in the time he’d been dressing her.
“I know this is going to be one of the greatest sins I have committed today, but make her a decaf. The last thing she needs is to be bouncing off the walls. I’ll handle the pie problem, however.
I have a baker downstairs who has been behaved enough to earn a day off from the dungeons. ”
My father considered my ragtag group of friends before staring at me. “If you ever need a break from this, you can use your old room at home for a while. We really don’t mind. It sounds like you could really use a break.”
No kidding.