Chapter 26 #2
“Sold. Can you secure the sale while I wine and dine Yuless? I have no interest in meeting the mare before she arrives at my home. Just buy her on my behalf as a proxy. And if there was any abuse involved with her sale, do not tell me about it. When did that asshole sell her?”
“He sold her right after Alligator Bait weaned.”
I couldn’t fault that timing, so I nodded.
“All right. Please arrange for transport. I do not have the time to drive my rig to Los Angeles. I’ll pay whatever the transport fee is.
Put her with the best money can buy, make certain she’s insured for her actual value for the trip, and do set up a most excellent stall for her so she can quarantine in comfort.
If you pay for her on my behalf, I will not be paying you back and will view her as a gift you so kindly showered upon me. ”
Lucifer burst into laughter. “That was much better on the selfishness front. Just because you dared, it shall be as you ask. Yuless, she is going to handle the teleportation with a great deal less grace than you, so please don’t allow her to fall. It would be a pity to damage such a pretty dress.”
Yuless held his arm out to me, and I wasted no time linking mine with his.
“If I end up at any risk of falling over due to teleportation, and you save me, I will feel sorry enough for myself I’ll need a pie, and I’ll share it with you.
Now that I have learned that I can, in fact, bake a pie, I am willing to do this in emergency situations. Requiring salvation counts.”
He laughed. “I would have helped without pie being on offer, but I’m not going to refuse pie.”
Lucifer approached, and I resisted the urge to ward against evil, aware I’d endure the equivalent of a punch in the gut. Sure enough, the instant he touched me, I yelped. The world spun around me for two breaths, and I staggered a step before catching myself.
If asked, I would claim Yuless’s hold on my arm kept me from smacking into the ground.
I deserved pie for dealing with teleportation again.
Once I regained my bearings, I realized we stood outside of a restaurant, the kind that oozed opulence. I sighed at the evidence I would be paying a ridiculous amount for a meal. “Thank you, Lucifer.”
“You’re welcome. Your reservation is under Culling. Have a good time. Someone will be around to pick you up when you’re done. Don’t worry about texting or anything. If I don’t notice, one of my obnoxious brothers will.”
Before I had a chance to say anything, the Devil vanished off in a flash of silvery light. “Well, I hope you like steak, Yuless.”
“As a matter of fact, I do. Is it a bad time to confess I look at your cows, accept they are delicious and I cannot eat them, and torture myself daily?”
I giggled. “I thought about naming them all everything that goes well with steak. In good news, when they are old and happy cows, and their lifespans are coming to a close, they will serve their next purpose, which is to be steak. My plan is to have a freezer or ten in my cellar and freeze the meat, and after a few weeks, I’ll forget which cow I put in which freezer, which means they’ll be ready for consumption. ”
“That’s clever. Do you have a butcher?”
I raised my hand. “I’m going to be my own butcher.
After the racing season is over, I’m going to go learn how to process my own cattle.
I will have a vet handle euthanizing my animals when the time comes, and I will be hiring someone to skin and tan them.
By the time they’re far enough in the process, I’ll probably have stopped crying enough to actually butcher them.
But they will die old and happy cows, and I will have given them a good life before making certain food stays on the table. ”
“Well, that’s one way to handle it. But what about the horses?”
I allowed my shoulders to slump. “It’ll be the same.
If their meat can be used, it’ll be used.
There’s no point in wasting the meat and hide.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat the meat, but I have a bunch of dragons hanging around, so after the hide is claimed, I will look the other way while they strip their bones.
I’ll bury the bones assuming the dragons leave bones to bury. ”
“That is painfully practical.”
“I swore when I bought the land that I would not abuse the gifts I was given. The alligators will return to the circle of life, but the cattle, the horses, and the chickens don’t have that purpose in nature there.
But it’s okay. I’ve already come to terms with it.
” I straightened, glared at the restaurant, and lifted my chin.
“I am prepared to assault the cellars of this fine establishment.”
Yuless laughed, released my arm, and went ahead to open the wooden door for me. “We can discuss my role in your household if that would help.”
“It would, actually.”
Inside, the dim illumination added to the sense of opulence and elegance. The host offered a smile and a greeting as we approached. “Good evening. Do you have a reservation?”
Yuless took the lead and said, “It’s under Culling for two.”
Without missing a beat, the host grabbed two leather wrapped menus. “Your private room is waiting. Louis will be your server tonight. Please do not hesitate should you have any special requests. Do you have any allergies we should be aware of?”
We shook our heads.
“Excellent.” The host led us through a packed dining room to a staircase, pausing to offer usage of the elevator if we wished.
We opted for some exercise, although by the time we reached the top, I regretted my stubborn ways and intended to kick my shoes off the instant after sitting down.
The staircase opened to a small lounge and bar, and we crossed the candlelit room to a hallway lined with doors, some opened and others closed.
I peeked inside one to discover small dining rooms with one to two tables each meant to serve between two and eight people.
We were escorted to the dining room at the end, which featured a round table meant for four with only two settings, a grand piano in a corner, a violin displayed on a stand, and walls decorated with old paintings I could spend an age admiring.
Yuless beat the host to the nearest chair and held it out for me.
The host left us to our business, and I sat, grinning at the ridiculousness of the restaurant Gabriel and Lucifer had arranged.
“For the record, this is not something I would normally do. I think about it sometimes, though. I can certainly afford it. Then again, it’s a pain in the ass getting to anywhere like this from where I live—and where you will live should I get my way. ”
Yuless joined me at the table, chuckling over my commentary.
“It won’t be a hard sell, I promise you.
You don’t live far from my regular work, and I’m sure I can handle a commute should we decide we wish to go on another date to a fancy restaurant.
However, I enjoy things like picnics and sitting outside with homemade food.
I’m also willing to make the food. I can cook.
Baking pies is a bit beyond me without the instructions, but I can make bread. ”
I stared at him with wide eyes. “You can bake bread but you can’t bake pies?”
“That’s correct.”
Only marriage would do. While I loved pies, I could down an entire loaf of bread in a day without regret. “Next you’re going to tell me you know how to make cheese.”
“Actually, yes. I know how to make cheese. If you don’t mind assigning part of your cellar to me, I can age cheese down there, especially if you can work some magic to control the temperature.”
“Easily done. You can even have raw milk if you need it. Whatever you need to make me cheese, it will be yours.”
“I take it you like bread and cheese.”
I nodded. “They’re defeated only by pie.”
“Honestly, I thought pizza was your favorite, judging from how you fight Darlene over the last slice.”
One day, I might understand why I lost my mind when it came to Darlene and that precious last slice of pizza. “Technically, pizza is a pie, so perhaps I understand we are waging war over a most sacred object.”
He snickered. “I’m just going to bring an entire extra pizza in the hopes I tame you two gluttons if pizza is involved in anything I’m arranging.
You seem to be fine if there are two pizzas for you to fight over.
If there’s only one, all hell breaks loose, and even Lucifer struggles to separate you. ”
“She’s a safe outlet, and unlike my boss, I have no desire to actually punt her into the lake.”
“May I ask why you like punting him into the lake so much?”
I giggled, opened the menu, and began the sacred tradition of searching for my next conquest. “I will answer only if you swear not to tell anybody how much I’m planning to gorge on tonight.”
“Your gluttonous secret is safe with me. I also plan on gorging, as it has been a long time since I’ve gotten to go to such a nice restaurant.”
“Then it’s settled. We are united in our need to eat so much Lucifer is going to have to retrieve us. We will not be capable of walking.”
“That sounds like a great plan.” Like me, he checked the menu, and he made a pleased sound in his throat. “I will be opening the show with the mussels, and mine will have bathed in hot wine and spices.”
“A most excellent choice.” I browsed the available appetizers. “I am going to explore the seafood appetizer meant for two, and I might even be inclined to share it with you.”
“Clearly, I better order two of the mussels, as I have noticed they are not present in the seafood exploratory dish.”