Chapter 29
“Tiger’s fucking tits,” Kitay said.
“I know,” Rin said.
“And you just dumped him in the harbor?”
“Weighed him down with rocks first. I picked a pretty deep stretch by the docks; no one’s going to find him—”
“Holy shit.” Kitay ran a hand through his bangs and yanked as he paced around the library. “You’re going to die. We’re all going to die.”
“It might be all right.” Rin tried to convince herself as she said it, but she still felt terribly light-headed. She’d come to Kitay because he was the one person she trusted to figure out what to do, but now both of them were panicking. “Look, no one saw me—”
“How do you know?” he asked shrilly. “No one caught you dragging a Hesperian corpse halfway across the city? No one was looking out their windows? You’d be willing to stake your life on the fact that not a single person saw?”
“I didn’t drag it, I dumped it in a sampan and rowed out to shore.”
“Oh, that solves everything—”
“Kitay. Listen.” She took a deep breath, trying to get her mind to slow down enough to work properly. “It’s been over an hour. If they’d seen, don’t you think I’d be dead by now?”
“Tarcquet could be biding his time,” Kitay said. “Waiting until morning to set an army on you.”
“He wouldn’t wait.” Rin was certain of that. The Hesperians didn’t fuck around. If Tarcquet found out that a shaman, of all people, had killed one of his men, then her body would already be riddled with bullet holes. He wouldn’t have given her the chance to escape.
The more time that passed, the more she hoped—believed—that Tarcquet didn’t know. Vaisra didn’t know. They might never know. Rin wasn’t telling anyone, and the refugee girl would certainly keep her mouth shut.
Kitay rubbed his palms against his temples. “When did this happen?”
“I told you. Just over an hour ago, when I was walking Kesegi back to the barriers from the old warehouses.”
“What on earth were you doing by the warehouses?”
“Southern Warlords ambushed me. Wanted to talk. They’re thinking of defecting back to their home provinces to deal with the Federation armies and they wanted me to come along, and they had this insane theory about the Hesperians, and—”
“What did you say?”
“Of course I refused. That’d be a death sentence.”
“Well, at least you didn’t commit treason.” Kitay managed a shaky laugh. “And then, what, you just wandered back to the barracks and murdered a Hesperian on the way?”
“You didn’t see what he was doing.”
He threw his hands up. “Does it fucking matter?”
“He was on a girl,” she said angrily. “He had her by her neck and he wouldn’t stop—”
“So you decided to scorch any possible chance we have of surviving the Red Cliffs?”
“The Hesperians aren’t fucking coming, Kitay.”
“They’re still here, aren’t they? If they really didn’t care they’d have packed up and gone. Did that ever cross your mind? When your back is to the wall there’s a massive difference between zero and one percent but no, you’d rather guarantee it’s zero—”
Her cheeks burned. “I didn’t think—”
“Of course not,” Kitay snapped. His knuckles had gone white. “You never think, do you? You always just pick whatever fights you want, whenever you want, and fuck the consequences—”
Rin raised her voice. “Would you rather I had let him rape her?”
Kitay fell silent.
“No,” he said after a long pause. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—I didn’t mean that.”
“I didn’t think so.”
He pressed his face into his hands. “Gods, I’m just scared. And you didn’t have to kill him, you could have—”
“I know,” she said. She felt drained. All the adrenaline had gone out of her at once, and now she only wanted to collapse. “I know, I wasn’t thinking, I saw it happening and I just—”
“It’s my life on the line now, too.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.” He sighed. “I don’t think—You didn’t have—Fine. It’s fine. I understand.”
“I really don’t think anyone saw.”
“Fine.” He took a deep breath. “Are you going to go back to the barracks?”
“No.”
“Me neither.”
They sat together on the floor for a long while in silence.
He rested his head against her shoulder.
She clutched at his hands. Neither of them could sleep.
They were both watching the library windows, waiting to see Hesperian troops lined up at the door, to hear the fall of heavy boots in the hallway.
Rin couldn’t help but feel a twinge of relief at every additional moment that passed.
It meant the Hesperians weren’t coming. It meant that, for now, she was safe.
But what happened when the Hesperians woke up in the morning and discovered a missing soldier? What happened when they started to search? They wouldn’t find him for days at least, she’d made sure of that, but the sheer fact that a soldier was missing might derail Hesperian negotiations regardless.
If the fallout didn’t land on Rin, then would they punish the entire Republic?
The southern Warlords’ words rose unbidden to her mind. You shouldn’t fight for an alliance with people who think we’re barely human.
“Tell me what the southern Warlords said,” Kitay said, startling her.
She sat up. “About what?”
“The Hesperians. What’s this theory?”
“Just the usual. They don’t trust them, they think they’ll bring a second coming of the occupation, and .
. . Oh.” She frowned. “They also think that the Hesperians let the Mugenese invade on purpose. They think Vaisra knew the Federation was going to launch an invasion, and that the Hesperians knew, too, but neither of them acted because they wanted the empire weakened and ripe for the taking.”
Kitay blinked. “Really.”
“I know. That’s crazy.”
“No,” he said. “That makes sense.”
“You can’t be serious. That would be awful.”
“But it tracks with everything we know, doesn’t it?
” Kitay gave a short laugh that bordered on manic.
“I’d been thinking it from the start, actually, but I thought, ‘Nah, no one could be that insane. Or evil.’ But think about the Republic’s ships.
Think about how long it took to build that entire fleet.
Vaisra’s been planning his civil war for years—that’s obvious.
But he never launched an attack until now. Why?”
“Maybe he wasn’t ready,” she said.
“Or maybe he needed the country weakened if he was ever going to wage a successful war against the Vipress. Needed us shattered so he could pick up the pieces.”
“He needed someone else to attack first,” she said slowly.
He nodded. “And the Federation was the best pawn for that task. I bet he laughed when they marched on Sinegard. I bet he’d been wanting that war for years.”
Rin wanted to say no, say of course Vaisra wouldn’t let innocent people die, but she knew that wasn’t true. She knew Vaisra was more than happy to wipe entire provinces off his map as long as it meant he kept his Republic.
Gods, as long as he kept his city.
Which meant Hesperian passivity during the Second Poppy War had not been some political mistake, or a delay in communications, but entirely deliberate. Which meant that Vaisra had known the Federation would kill hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, and he’d let it happen.
When she thought about it now, it should have been so easy to realize that they’d been manipulated. They had been trapped in a geopolitical chess game that had been years, perhaps decades in the making.
And she hadn’t simply been fooled. She’d been deliberately blind to the clues around her, and she’d sat back and let everything happen.
She’d been stupidly, passively asleep for such a long time. She’d spent so much effort fighting in the trenches for Vaisra’s Republic that she’d barely considered what might happen after.
If they won, what price would the Hesperians demand for their aid? Would Petra’s experiments escalate once Vaisra no longer needed Rin on the battlefield?
It seemed so foolish now to imagine that as long as Vaisra vouched for her, she was safe from those arquebuses.
Months ago she’d been lost and afraid, desperate to find an anchor, and that had primed her to trust him.
But she’d also seen, over and over again by now, how easily Vaisra manipulated those around him like shadow puppets.
How quickly would he trade her away?
“Oh, Kitay.” She exhaled slowly. She suddenly felt very, very afraid. “What are we going to do?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
She thought through the possibilities out loud. “We have no good options. If we defect to the south, we’re dead.”
“And if you leave Arlong, then the Hesperians will hunt you down.”
“But if we stay loyal to the Republic, we’re just building a cage for ourselves.”
“And none of that even matters if we don’t survive the day after tomorrow.”
They stared at each other. Rin heard a heartbeat echoing against the silence; hers or Kitay’s, she didn’t know.
“Tiger’s tits,” she said. “We’re going to die. None of this even matters because Feylen is going to wreck us under the Red Cliffs and we’re all going to die.”
“Not necessarily.” Kitay stood up abruptly. “Come with me.”
She blinked up at him. “What?”
“You’ll see. I’ve been meaning to show you something ever since you got back.” He clasped her hands and pulled her to her feet. “I just haven’t had the chance. Follow me.”
Somehow they ended up in the armory. Rin wasn’t entirely sure they were supposed to be there, because Kitay had kicked through the lock to get in, but at this point she didn’t care.
He led her to a back storage room, pulled a bundle wrapped in a canvas sheet out from a corner, and dropped it on the table. “This is for you.”
She peeled the sheet back. “A pile of leather. Thank you. I love it.”
“Just unfold it,” he said.
She held up the contraption, a confusing combination of riding straps, iron rods, and long sheets of leather. She peered at it from all angles but couldn’t make sense of what she was looking at. “What is this?”
“You know how none of us have been able to defeat Feylen?” Kitay asked.
“Because he keeps flinging us into cliff walls? Yes, Kitay, I remember that.”