37. Chapter 37
Sienna pulled a fresh shirt over her head and pushed her damp hair out of her face from the hot and very welcome shower she just finished.
After leaving John’s room, she’d gone to her bedroom to freshen up, only to fall asleep for a few hours.
Now she was rushing to get dressed and see how John was doing.
She tried not to take him wanting to be alone personally.
He needed some time to adjust to everything that happened.
Now it was time for them to have a conversation.
A knock on her door had her calling out to the person to come in. Ryan poked his head into the room. “Hey. Just wanted to check on you.”
“I fell asleep against my will. I’m heading to see John.”
Ryan looked away from her and her nerves jangled.
“What’s wrong, Ry? Is John okay?”
He held up his hands. “He’s fine.”
“But?”
“But Dr. Murphy came to check on him a while ago and told him he could get out of bed. And then I took John back to his cabin.”
“What? Why did you do that?”
Ryan’s eyes widened. “Because he said he was going to walk back, which I didn’t think was a good idea, so I drove him back instead.”
Sienna pulled her hair into a low ponytail. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“He was in full grumpy John mode like when he first got here. Told me not to wake you up. That you needed your sleep.”
“I shouldn’t have left him alone earlier. He’s shutting down.”
Ryan grabbed her hand. “He’s scared.”
Her chest tightened. “Did he tell you that?”
“He didn’t need to. Think about it from John’s perspective. His whole reason for existing was due to the curse. A curse that he spent all that time trying to break. And he thought as a result of that, he would have to sacrifice himself. Now he’s living a life he never thought he would have.”
Her heart seemed to whimper, or maybe it was Veronica. “And he’s pushing us away again. Pushing me away.”
“So don’t let him.”
She frowned. “It’s not that easy.”
Ryan shrugged. “Who said love is supposed to be easy?”
She narrowed his eyes at him and he chuckled. “What? You said that to me not too long ago. You can dish it out, but you can’t take it? Did you honestly think that loving someone as complex as John was going to be a walk in the park?”
Did she? “No. But I didn’t say I love him.”
Ryan gave her his don’t-lie-to-your-best-friend look. “I’m not the one who should hear it first anyway. You already told him that he’s stuck with you. Remind him again. I left the UTV out with the keys in it. Go get your man.”
“What about your man?”
“I asked Jonas out yesterday and he said yes.” Ryan patted the gauze on his arm. “I think he likes a scarred hero.”
“Ian said it was a graze. Did you even get stitches?”
“Harsh. Get a move on.”
What he said, Veronica added.
Sienna jogged down the stairs and outside to the driveway where the UTV sat waiting.
She started it, flipped on the lights in the fading sunlight, and headed toward the cabin, trying to figure out what she was going to say to John.
Him backing away wasn’t acceptable. He needed her and the clan now more than ever. She just needed to help him see that.
Too soon, she came to the small clearing in front of the cabin and parked. She sucked in a breath for the count of four, held it for seven, and then released it for a count of eight. She did the breathing exercise one more time before heading to the cabin.
Before she could lift her hand to knock, John opened the door. His hair was damp and mussed like he’d just run his fingers through it. He was too pale for Sienna’s liking.
He scowled. “I told Ryan not to wake you up.”
“He didn’t wake me. Why did you come back to the cabin?”
“I needed time to think.”
“About what?”
He glanced away. “Sienna.”
Heat bubbled in her chest. “No.”
John looked back at her. “No to what?”
“No to you having to do everything on your own. No to you backing away from the clan. No to you backing away from me.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“That’s a good thing. Why are you worried that you will?”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “Because we don’t know what’s going to happen to me now that the curse is gone. I could wake up and have aged fifty years.”
Sienna shrugged even though she was feeling far from calm. “The girls can call you Grampy Grumpy then instead.”
John settled his hands on her shoulders as if he was trying to break bad news to her. “Don’t make light of this. I could die tomorrow.”
Sienna couldn’t hold her own sigh back. “John. I know you’ve spent your whole adult life being invincible, so your perspective is skewed, but you’re living in the real world now.
You’re scared and that’s okay. We are all fragile beings.
I could die tomorrow. Does that mean you can’t love me?
Because I love you, John Baker, and I told you before and I’ll tell you again, I’m not going anywhere. So what do you think of that?”
He blinked at her, and she held her breath, waiting for him to push her away. His hands moved down her arms, and he gripped them for a moment before pulling her into his embrace. “I love you too, Sienna Simonson. I didn’t think I was capable of love until I met you.”
Joy filled her heart as she wrapped her arms tight around him and breathed in his pine scent.
After a few moments his fingers lifted her chin, and he bent to kiss her.
His lips were soft and seemingly on a mission to bring her to her knees.
But she stayed upright by sheer will and returned his enthusiasm as she explored his mouth.
He groaned and broke away to look at her, his normally light eyes now a smoky slate blue. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
Sienna smirked. “I have some interesting ideas if you need help. But you’re recuperating, so maybe we should take things slow.”
“Everything in my life has been glacially slow. It’s definitely time to speed things up.” He rested his hands on her waist, and the next thing she knew, he lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his hips, and his arms banded around her as he walked to the bedroom.
He shut the door and leaned her against it, taking her mouth hungrily before moving to her throat. She gasped when he reached the spot where her neck met her collarbone. He stopped and looked at her, his eyes dancing. Dancing! Her eyes filled at seeing him finally letting go and being happy.
His right eyebrow rose. “What is it?”
“You’re mischievous, John Baker. I think you’re going to surprise me.”
“And you, me. But that’s a good thing, right?” he asked, his voice a touch uncertain.
She kissed him quickly to alleviate his concern. “It’s a very good thing.”
He smiled before spinning her around and pressing her to the bed.
His hands landed on either side of her head, and he caged her in.
But instead of being overwhelmed, she felt protected.
She bit the tip of his chin lightly, and his eyes flared before their lips found each other again.
He kept his weight off her but she wanted to feel him against her, and she coaxed him down until he was pressing her into the mattress.
She reached under his shirt and ran her hands along his back, feeling the muscles move as she touched the various scars from his battles, a history on his skin. His kisses ramped up as he started exploring as well. After a few heated minutes she broke away to let him know that she was all in.
“I’m on the pill.”
He nodded. “I haven’t been with anyone in a long, long…really long time.”
Sienna rested her hands on his cheeks, the stubble tickling her palms. “No worries. I’ll take it easy on you.” Then she winked.
He growled and pulled his shirt off and threw it before reaching for her shirt as well.
He helped her remove it along with her pants, leaving her in her everyday underwear and bra.
Before she could regret not changing into some date-night undies, he growled again, his eyes taking her in like a starving man.
He ran his lips along the swell of her breasts before helping her take off her bra.
Her heart ratcheted up as he smirked at her before heading farther south and divesting her of her panties.
She could get used to this. Especially when he stood a few earth-shattering minutes later while she was trying to calm her breath, and dropped his pants.
Now she couldn’t breathe at all.
He went commando. She checked him out in all his glory, and when she reached his face, the cocky male winked at her.
John crawled up her body and settled against her as she relaxed, and he slotted inside her and pushed home.
Her breathing raced as he moved above her.
And then she joined the dance and lifted up to kiss him, needing that connection as she plummeted over the edge.
He lost his rhythm and followed her over as well.
He collapsed on her for a few moments. She wrapped her arms around him before he could move.
“I’m crushing you.”
“I don’t care,” she said as their heartbeats pounded erratically and then synced in harmony. She finally let him go and he rolled away from her.
“I’ll be right back.” He returned with a warm washcloth and they made quick use of it before settling back against the headboard. “I still can’t believe this is actually happening.”
Sienna rested her head against his chest after he wrapped his arms around her.
“I’ve been thinking. I know that when you saw the scroll and it said, ‘Forgiveness and sacrifice,’ that it reinforced your belief that you had to sacrifice yourself to save us.
Did you ever think that maybe your path is forgiveness?
Forgiveness of those who would try to blame you for the curse but more importantly, forgiving yourself, John.
You did not cause the curse. I would argue you were the one who suffered the most from it. ”
He sucked in a breath but didn’t say anything.
“And I know you’re worried about the future, but we can worry about it together. As long as we let each other know what we’re feeling. And you’ve got a clan now too.”