Chapter Five Dragon
All the way to the hospital, I was on edge.
Then getting there and having to place myself in the waiting room, even with all my brothers.
Nothing is fucking helping. I don’t know what’s going on and it’s killing me.
I know there are things that can go wrong during labor, I know she has two people with her that I trust, but I can’t just sit here.
As I am pacing, Terror walks over to me and hands me his phone.
I give him a confused look and take it from him.
He nods his head to the corner, “You’re going to want to take that over there.”
I nod my head and look down at the screen, seeing my dad’s name on the screen. Once I sit down I take a breath and put the phone up to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Hey buddy. Heard we were welcoming a new family member today. It would've been nice to hear from their daddy.”
I sigh, “I know dad and I’m sorry. A lot of shit has been going on and I just thought you’d hear from someone else.”
“I’m not wanting to talk to you to give you a hard time, Cane. I just want to know how you’re doing? I heard Liza isn’t letting you in the room and you’re on edge. What’s going through that head of yours?”
I rub a hand down my face, “I don’t even know where to start dad. I screwed up. I’m scared about so many things, but most of all that I can’t fucking protect her. Everything feels so out of control lately. It’s felt that way for months.
Now I’m sitting out here waiting for news about my son and I can’t do anything about it.”
“Buddy, even if she allowed you in there, there wouldn’t be anything you can do. Now I don’t know what happened between the two of you, Cane. But giving birth is an extremely vulnerable experience. I know you are the baby’s dad, but she’s about to be the most vulnerable she’s ever going to be.
You need to let her have this. She doesn’t trust you. But what I can say Cane, is that I know you are going to be a beautiful father. Everything will work itself out. You just are going to have to grovel.”
I sigh, “I wish you were here dad.”
“Yeah, I know, but I’ve got a lot to do.”
“I know you are looking into shit in all the chapters, but I just wish you were here to meet your grandson.”
“I’ll meet him buddy, I won’t be gone for long I promise. Now you need to relax and calm down. Everything is going to be okay. I’m proud of the man you are Cane. No matter what mistakes you make, you are a good man. I love you and I want you to know your mama,
she was proud of you too and she loved you more than anything. So you give my grandson a kiss for both of us. Let him know that I will be there to meet him in person when I can. Also let him know that I love him. And your ass better make sure you send me some fucking pictures.”
“I love you too, dad.”
With that we say goodbye and hang up the phone. Terror comes over and pats me on the back before taking his phone back. I still don’t know how much time has passed since they brought Liza in and I fucking hate that I haven’t heard anything.
Finally I hear steps coming down the hall and I shoot up out of my seat. I look over at the man whose woman is currently towards us. She ignores him as he stands up and looks at her and heads over to me.
“She wants you to come to her room.”
“Is she okay? Is the baby okay?”
“They are both wonderful, Dragon. He’s beautiful. Come on, I’ll walk you back. You’re gonna want to stop by the nurses station for a bracelet.”
I nod my head not sure what to do, but I follow Rose down the hall.
The walk passes in a blur and I don’t even remember getting the bracelet on my wrist that tells me that I am the daddy of baby Jacobson.
My heart clenched knowing that she gave him my last name, we never talked about it because, well I didn’t know and she wouldn’t talk to me after I found out.
I walked into the room and stopped in my tracks at the view in front of me.
Sitting on a bed is my beautiful woman, looking like she has been through it.
She is nursing a little bundle in a blue blanket with a head of dark brown hair peaking out.
“Hey big brother.” Peyton whispers from the side of the bed. She gets up and walks over towards me, “It was the most amazing thing, watching my newest nephew being born. She did so amazing. He is so perfect. He definitely is a Jacobson.” She gives me a hug and kisses my cheek, “Go meet your boy.”
I nod my head and I haven’t taken my eyes off the woman in the bed with the baby at her chest.
She hasn’t looked up at me once, but I can see tears on her face.
I walk over towards the bed and come up alongside Liza.
Looking down at my boy for the first time.
His fist is clenched up by her chest and his eyes are closed as she feeds him.
I move my hand and place a finger on that baby boy’s cheek and his eyes begin to flutter and when he opens them I see the most beautiful blue eyes.
“He’s beautiful, Liza. You did so good, baby.”
I look at her, but she still has her head down and her eyes on the baby. I bend my head down and place my forehead against the side of her head.
“I’m so sorry, Liza. I was sorry after I did it, but I promise you I didn’t do anything with her. Her straddling my lap and making it look like we were doing something is all that happened. I thought I was protecting you. My head was such a mess. I’m sorry. I will do anything.”
I can feel her start to shake, I lift my head and tilt her chin to me so that I can look her in the eyes. She had tears coming down her face and I used my thumbs to wipe them. She’s quiet for a moment and then she talks.
“I never thought I’d be here again, you know having a baby alone. I thought that the twins would be the last time. I swore to myself that the next time I had a baby it would be with the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. But here I am, three babies with two different men.
I honestly thought I found a man who would be there for me and my boys. I let my guard down. Trusted you, when I know I shouldn’t have. I think that we will have to work out times for visiting him, right now since he’s nursing you can’t have him overnight or by yourself.
So we will have to figure something out.”
I shake my head, “That’s not what I want, Liza. I want to do this with you. I want to figure this out. We can work through all this.”
She looks at me and I see tears in her eyes and as much as I want to push the subject more, I know I fucking can’t.
I know for now I’m just going to have to let her have her way and pretend that we are just going to co-parent.
Basically just going to have to make her realize she’s mine, but right now I’m going to have to let the fucking shit go.
I sigh, rubbing a hand down my face, “Fine. We will figure out co-parenting, but it’s for all the boys. This one and the other two. They are mine just as much as this little guy. So did you decide on a name?”
She smiles and looks down at our boy, “Jaxon Colter Jacobson.”
“I love it. It suits him.”
“I thought so too. Do you want to hold him?”
“Hell yeah I do.”
She lifts him up and passes him to me. Putting this small boy in my arms, the boy we made together.
I remember the night, the night I was careless because I knew it would be the last night I’d have her.
Because I was planning on pushing her away to keep her safe, I just needed one more fucking night with her.
It was selfish, but that selfish act came with this handsome boy.
This last month has been really rough without mama, everything has been changing and I know that I am driving my brother crazy with what I’ve been doing.
You see, I've been with my girl, Liza, for months.
I’ve told her were casually fucking and that I was not going to do a relationship with her, but I made it so we were only exclusively fucking each other.
No one believes that I am not head over heels for this girl, not even me.
I know I’m in love, have been since the moment I laid eyes on her.
She has become my whole world. Her two boys have become a big part of that too.
When mama died a lot shook me. I don’t feel like I can protect her or her boys and I don’t want to put them at risk anymore.
I’ve been pushing her away, at least I’ve been trying to.
I always find my way back to her home though even when I do not want to.
She calms me down, I hate that I feel like I cannot protect them and that I have to give them up.
I’ve been distant, I’ve been moody and she has been putting up with a lot.
We have been fighting like crazy, but she keeps pushing and keeps coming back.
She is resilient. I will give her that, I think a lot of it has to do with her past and how she was raised.
We haven’t talked much about her past, but I know there are some things that are very dark, like her boys’ father.
As I walk up to her door, she opens it and looks at me shocked. She must have heard my bike pull up.
“Hey. What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you, I know last night ended badly, but I needed to see you.”
“You know that you don’t have to do whatever this is you’re doing. I know you are trying to push me away, I know that you are having a hard time and you’re grieving. I understand all of that, but you don’t have to protect me. I let you in Cane, I opened up and I want to be with you.
You don’t have to worry about anything happening to me. I’m not going anywhere.”
I know she thinks that, but mama thought it too.
She thought she wasn’t going anywhere, she thought she was protected and could take care of herself, but look what happened.
Look what happened to Dallas and Dash. They are currently somewhere being held captive and according to the letters we keep receiving we have five more months to find them or they are going to be sending them off to the Russians and they will be selling them.
I know they have other clubs on this, other allies, law enforcement we work with, politicians, and even the mafia allies we work with and the Morettis have.
I’m just so scared that this could happen to her and happen to her boys.
Those boys have become like my boys, I love them.
Snapping myself out of my thoughts I look back at her.
“Are the boys here?”
“No, they are at daycare for the day.”