Chapter 30 NADINE
Morning came without mercy. The ship's lights shifted from night-cycle dim to a sterile approximation of dawn, and with it came the certainty I'd been trying to avoid since I woke gasping in the dark. I couldn't wait any longer.
I found Xandros and Ashley on the bridge, already armored, already awake in the way commanders always were, half a step ahead of everyone else, posture rigid with responsibility.
"I want to see him." It wasn't a request or a plea.
Xandros stopped whatever he was doing. Slowly, he turned to face me, his expression hardened the moment he saw my eyes. "No," he stated flatly.
Ashley stood a few steps behind him, silently watching.
"I'm not asking," I informed him, surprised by how even and steady my tone was, even though my hands were clenched so tightly my nails bit into my palms. "I need to see him. Now."
Xandros crossed his arms. "You're emotionally compromised."
I laughed, sharp and humorless. "Of course I am."
"That's a dangerous condition to be in near an Arkhevari who nearly killed you."
"He didn't," I stood my ground.
"That's not the point."
"It is to me."
Xandros exhaled slowly through his nose, clearly restraining himself. "Whatever happened to him on Cronack hasn't passed. We're keeping him unconscious for a reason."
"And that reason is killing him," I shot back. "You feel it too. Don't pretend you don't."
Silence stretched between us. Ashley shifted her weight.
Xandros glanced at her. "You're awfully quiet."
She shrugged slightly. "It's her life."
His jaw tightened. "That's not—"
"She knows the risk," Ashley continued.
Xandros looked back at me, searching my face for hesitation. There was none. The bond felt thinner this morning. More distant. Like something stretched past its limit, threads were fraying with every second of separation. I could feel him slipping.
"I won't stop you," Xandros said at last. "But I won't pretend this is safe."
"I don't need safe," I said. "I need him."
His gaze sharpened. "There will be guards."
"I expected that."
"They'll surround you," he continued. "Every angle. Every exit." I nodded. "If he so much as breaks containment—" He paused, choosing his words carefully. "If he tries to make it out of that room, he dies."
The words hit hard in their finality. I swallowed, my throat suddenly tight.
I knew Xandros wasn't bluffing. But I also knew that Dravok would be lost if I didn't do something.
Now. My only hope was our fraying bond, once that was gone…
I wasn't sure that even Nox Eternum giving him back his powers could save him.
There was no time. We couldn't afford to wait until we got there.
I didn't reply; Xandros read the decision on my expression.
He nodded. "Very well. May the starlight guide your path."
I didn't have the words to respond. I knew he had just given me the greatest honor a Pandraxian could.
It was their ceremonial blessing to one another when they parted on a dangerous mission, or so I'd read somewhere.
I just jerked my head up and down in acknowledgement and followed him out into the corridor.
Ashley fell into step beside me. She didn't say anything, and I appreciated that.
The further we walked, the more guards surrounded us.
Each one wore the same closed-off expression as Xandros.
One that said that they would do whatever needed to be done to keep the universe safe.
I pressed my hand to my chest again, reaching inward. The bond answered faintly.
Too faint.
Hold on, I begged silently. I'm coming.
Because after last night, after hearing that voice claim him like property, I knew something with terrifying clarity: If I waited any longer, there might not be anything left to reach.
The containment level was colder than the rest of the ship. Not physically—though the air had a sterile bite to it—but in the way places felt when they were built for one purpose and one purpose only. Control. Suppression. Ending things.
Guards lined the corridor. Too many of them. They didn't look at me. Their attention stayed fixed on their stations, their weapons, their readouts. Professional. Detached. As if acknowledging me would make what they were prepared to do feel more personal.
Xandros walked ahead of me, his steps measured, his posture rigid with command.
Ashley stayed close at my side, just far enough not to crowd me, just close enough that I could feel her there.
I pressed my hand to my chest again. The bond was still there.
Thinner than it had ever been. Like a filament stretched until it hummed with strain.
I could feel him at the other end of it, distant, muffled, wrapped in something heavy and wrong. Still alive. For now.
"This is as far as we go," Xandros said, stopping in front of a reinforced door that looked less like an entrance and more like a warning. I swallowed.
"There are no guards inside," he continued.
"Drones only. No personnel." His gaze flicked to me.
"If he reacts—if he so much as shifts wrong—you step back immediately.
" I nodded, though my legs already felt like they were moving without me.
"You don't touch him unless you're absolutely certain," he added.
I almost laughed. That ship had sailed.
Ashley squeezed my hand once, brief and grounding. "You don't have to say anything," she murmured. "Just… be there."
I nodded again, unable to trust my voice. Xandros keyed the door. There was a low hum as the seals disengaged; the sound vibrated through the floor, through my bones. My heart began to race, each beat loud enough that I was sure everyone could hear it.
This was it.
After Cronack. After the darkness. After the voice that had wrapped itself around my mind and tried to convince me he was already lost. I didn't know what I was about to see.
I didn't know if he would recognize me. I didn't know if I would recognize him.
But I knew—absolutely, with terrifying clarity—that if I didn't do this now, I would lose him forever.
The door slid open. Light spilled out, harsh and clinical, cutting into the dim corridor like a blade. I took one step forward. The bond pulled tight.