Chapter 39
Captain Kendra’s Log: Time to set things right
I heard the rumbling of the pirate ship as I tied off the final line of the Sea Duction. I didn’t reconnect her to shore power and amenities. I wouldn’t need it. My heart raced with a blend of excitement and nervous energy.
Heavy footsteps on the dock captured my attention, and I turned to see Rowan rushing toward me.
He must have hopped off the ship before they even put the gangplank down.
I could feel the anticipation crackling in the air.
I tried to steady my breath, but it came in quick, excited gasps, my pulse thrumming.
“Kendra!”
I swallowed thickly. “Hey, Rowan.”
When he caught up to me, he was out of breath. “You’re here.”
“For a few hours,” I said.
His face fell. “What do you mean? A few hours?”
“I’ll tell you in a little bit, but first - Seeger?”
“Fucking wanker told you.”
“You don’t deny it.”
Rowan shook his head. “No.”
“Why didn’t you say anything when your dad came to visit? You called him Judge. We used to work together, my ass.”
“All of that is true. We did work together,” Rowan began. “Father hired me to work at his company building ships when I left the service. It was one of those ships that crushed my leg.”
I pressed my fingers to my lips. I still struggled to imagine the horror of going through something like that. I couldn’t imagine watching my son go through it.
“He tried to put me in a desk job after the surgery, and I refused,” Rowan continued. “I didn’t want his pity job. I didn’t want to wither away. I had money from my mother’s trust that I inherited when she passed and found the most ridiculous thing to do with it.”
“Pegleg Pete’s.”
“Yeah.”
I nodded. “Why not tell me that from the beginning?”
“Kendra, I don’t use his name because people treat you differently when they know you come from money. Women, especially, see dollar signs in their eyes.”
“Fuck you,” I fumed and strode away from him.
Rowan caught up and stepped in front of me.
“That night in Flamingo Cove was a game-changer for me.” He frowned when I opened my mouth to disagree.
“Please. Listen. I’m talking about the bar—the conversation.
I felt like myself for the first time in two years.
You gave me shit. You didn’t know who I was.
You didn’t know about my leg. You didn’t avoid looking at me.
You were you. There was no middle ground.
You knew exactly how you felt about me and what you wanted from me.
You were Athena, Aphrodite, and Wonder Woman all rolled into one.
A goddess who wanted me and demanded I take you. ”
My veins felt like they were full of champagne. I’d never had someone say this kind of thing to me before. But then again, I had been lapping up bullshit scraps for more than twenty years, so I had that going for me.
I leaned against the side of my ship, and Rowan leaned next to me, facing me. “Goldilocks—”
“Why do you call me that?”
He smirked. “You don’t know?”
I tugged my unruly hair. “Hair color?”
“No,” Rowan said, moving to stand before me. He took my face in his hands. “I call you Goldilocks because you’re just right for me.”
Tears ran down my face when he pressed his lips to mine. His tongue swept in, claiming me as he had done countless times. But this kiss, this time, felt like an ending. A goodbye. The last good kiss between us. The tears rolled harder down my cheeks as I pulled away.
“Don’t go, Kendra.”
“I have to.”
“I love you.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat as I saw the sincerity in his eyes. “I know you do.”
“And you love me. I know you do,” Rowan insisted.
I closed my eyes and leaned into his embrace. He smelled so good, and the warmth of his arms was tempting. I could stay right here and be with him and—
“No.” I pulled away, wiping my eyes. “I mean, yes. I probably do love you. But we both deserve to know for sure.”
“What are you talking about, Goldilocks?” Rowan wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb.
“I’m 44 years old. And for 26 years, I’ve been in a holding pattern. Waiting. Right here in Pleasure Point. Do you know I’ve never been outside of Florida?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“The farthest I’ve been is the Keys, and that was for a three-day charter I worked when I was 19,” I said. “I have a passport with no stamps. I have a suitcase that’s never been used. That’s sad, Rowan.”
“So, we’ll travel. Together. Please, Kendra.”
I paced the deck. “I’ve been waiting for someone to rescue me. For someone to take me away from all this. And you taught me something valuable.”
“What’s that?”
“You showed me that I needed to rescue myself. To accept myself as I am. That I’m enough right now.
If I went off with you, I would never know if it was because I truly loved you or because I fell into my old habit of waiting for someone to rescue me, and you came along at the right time.
” I kissed his cheek. “You are wonderful and supportive and everything a woman could want. You deserve a woman who wants you for you, not what you can do for her. And deep down, you know I’m right. ”
Rowan put his hands on his hips, clenched his jaw, and stared at the deck. “How long do you need?”
“How long does it take someone to learn to love themselves and trust their instincts?” I chuckled. “Will you give me that time?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw as he considered the question. “I will,” he sighed. “I love you. Take all the time you need. But will you keep in contact? Will you let me know you’re okay?”
I smiled at him through my blurry vision. “I promise.”