17 #3
The drowsiness finally took over my eyes, and I was haunted once again.
I was no longer here, in New Zealand, about to head to bed.
Instead, I was back in my room in boarding school, a fourteen year old kid.
Dev leaned against the doorway, his eyes scanning me, and my posture as I held his phone tightly in my hands.
“How do you feel now?” Ma’s voice rang through the phone.
I swallowed. “Good. The nurse said I should only have a few more days before the lethargic feeling goes away but I should be fine. Are you coming home, soon?”
“Not Soon-Soon. But I was thinking about your Christmas break. I talked to your Dad and he’s okay with it—and maybe you could come for a visit when Dev comes? We could do an early celebration for your birthday?”
“But…all my friends are here. Why can’t you come home and we can celebrate on my actual birthday? You know my break ends on the 8th, so I’ll still be off.”
“I know, but—”
“I don’t want to fly there and come to the place you left us for.”
“But Dev said you wanted to see Mehar Villa.”
“Yes. And when he visited during half term, he took pictures for me and showed me. I want you to come here and meet my friends. You haven’t even seen my new school, you know?”
“I saw it in pictures, too,” I could hear her smiling. Before I could interject, she continued. “Fine. But what do you think about taking a trip to Edinburgh? I could finally show you the cabin you’ve wanted to see since you were little.”
“Really?”
“If you promise to stop skipping classes. Your father said they can pull you off the team if you continue to do that.”
I frowned, my heart sinking. My gaze flicked to Dev, and he raised a brow before making his way over to me. “Did she hang up?”
“No, I’m still here,” Ma’s voice echoed through the phone. “Rihaan. Do you promise?”
I forced myself to reply. “Yeah.”
“Thank you, baby. I love you.” The words were audible as Dev took the phone from me.
“Ma. I’ll call you in twenty minutes. I saw one of the housemasters coming in for bed checks.” Dev’s narrowed gaze focused on me as he nodded to whatever Ma was saying. “Fine. Love you too.”
“What?” He asked once he made sure the call had ended. He slid his phone inside his pocket, resting his hands there.
“You told her I was skipping classes because Dad wouldn’t let me go with you to see her?”
Dev sighed. “Well, it wasn’t like Dad was going to tell her.”
“I thought she called because I got sick.”
He nodded. “Yeah, that too.”
I huffed, annoyed that he’d snitched on me.
“Why? What did she say?”
I raised a brow. “She said Dad told her what Coach said.”
He tilted his head, like silently asking me to continue. But I had nothing to add.
“I don’t know if they talk. How would I know?”
“You seem to know everything,” I muttered.
“Rihaan.”
“Fine. She said she’ll come during Christmas break and maybe we can go to the her cabin for my birthday”
He frowned. “Really?” He paused at my confused expressions. “Well, you better not skip classes then. Not unless you want to be kicked off the Cricket team, and then you know what will happen.”
I nodded. “Dad will get Mr. Frank fired, replace him and then you’ll be stuck with him. Again.”
The corners of his lips lifted, and he shook his head. “And no Edinburgh.”
“Fine.”
He nodded, ruffling my hair once and I swatted his hand away.
“Are you going to talk to her again?”
“No. It’s almost 3 AM in Delhi, she’s going to bed.”
“Liar.”
“Go to bed, little brother.”
“Love you. Even though you’re a snitch.”
Dev laughed. “Love you too.”
The sound of thunder clapping broke that memory, and I was back to the real world. Her letter tight in my hold as I closed my eyes once again.
But even with closed eyes, it’s not the depths of silent darkness I was so desperate for. It’d been her voice I heard, and the contents of the letter that read back to me.
A letter from my mother, beyond the grave. The one that she’d written sometime between the call we’d shared that night, and the last one after that.
My mother had broken her promise. She never did come to visit us, or take me to the cabin.
It was also then I’d finally made her the villain in my mind like my father had wanted.
It hadn’t been until last year when I’d finally learnt that she’d gotten sick enough that was bared from flying.
But I was sure that as a kid, I wouldn’t have believed her.
Because making her the bad person in the story had always been easier.
Turning on my side, I hear the end of her letter again, as they sing me to sleep.
If you’re reading this before your twenty-fifth birthday, that means my vice has finally taken my life from me.
I’ve left all you with things, but yours is a little special.
I know I broke your heart when I didn’t keep my promise to take you to the cabin.
Which is why, it’s now completely yours.
Devyant can help you keep take care of it until you’re old enough to do so.
But, he knows that, the cabin is just yours. And everything that’s in it.
I know it may never be enough.
But I hope that you get to relieve the memories with me when you finally find the pieces I’ve kept hidden there.
I love you so much. I’m sorry for everything.
- Ma x