Chapter 22
“Now is the time to look away.” Fian heard the words, spoken to Kai, his landbride, the human who tasted like no other under his suckers, the human who should be long gone, but was apparently right here.
In the very small positive column, the speaker was Mikano. In short order, there were screams and crunching noises.
Mikano was taking care of what was rotten, such a very sharkish thing to do.
“Stay there, Kai, just for a moment,” Mikano said when the screaming had ebbed, and then he walked into the boathouse.
Mikano wore a human suit, his work clothes. He’d put a protective spell on them, something like a bib but magic, and as he looked down at Fian, he was licking some Nick off his lip. Or maybe some James.
“What on earth were you thinking?” Mikano kneeled next to Fian.
He didn’t work on the rope but throttled the magic that had kept Fian’s very own magic at bay.
After a second, Mikano leaned forward so he could whisper into Fian’s ear. “Look, I like him. You’re thinking you can get him to be your landbride, a heart half fated and half won, right?
“But, Tickle, you need to be a little more human. Humans need to be able to reach you via text at all times of the day. What if he gets horny and needs your help? What if he wants you to go to the store and bring him whatever treat it is he likes?” He gently shook Fian.
“Tickle, think with all your arms for once. I cannot possibly admit to Tom that you need to be set up with someone if you fail at winning Kai’s heart. ”
Several things about all of that were distressing, but Fian knew none of them mattered. He wiggled and tried speaking despite the gag.
“Yes, yes. Just do what I tell you for once.”
Mikano used a magenta bright spark of magic to slice through Fian’s bindings, and Fian jumped up.
“You didn’t make him watch you eat, did you?” He wasn’t waiting for Mikano’s response, ran out the door instead.
Kai, lovely Kai with windswept blond hair, was right there, slowly walking toward the boathouse while at the same time focused on the crumbs that remained of Mikano’s meal. The crumbs and the jelly filling that had spilled.
Fian didn’t think, ran and shifted, and within the next moment, he had Kai in all his tentacles, safely wrapped up. He felt him over with his suckers, but Kai tasted…okay. There was a small cut on the tip of one finger, but other than that, Fian’s landbride was fine.
“I came to save you. I fell asleep, and your brother tried eating me. He says he was just pretending, but I’m not so sure.”
“I heard that, little dreamer, and I was pretending!”
Mikano was still inside the boathouse, either out of consideration to give the two of them a moment—Fian doubted that—or to survey the scene and confiscate anything that was potentially dangerous, the most likely scenario.
“He wouldn’t have eaten you, actually. Mikano is very by the book when it comes to eating people. I think,” Fian said.
“I heard that too, Tickle!”
“Kai, don’t look.”
Fian tried turning Kai’s head away. He was still staring at what was left of the barnacle man.
“No, it’s fine. Sort of. I think I’m fine. I still have to move out and find a job, but now I know that he won’t come after me. That’s a good thing.”
Fian exhaled. “That’s true. That’s definitely true.”
Mikano came out and threw the door to the boathouse shut behind him.
“Nothing left in there that can cause any harm anymore. You two. Ready to head back to town? I have a team coming. I figure it’ll take us all night to get all the witches rounded up, undo all the magic, and see to any other humans who were trapped by this lot like Kai was. ”
“You have a team?”
Kai couldn’t know, and the question was completely innocent, but for some reason, it pleased Fian. He smoothed the tip of one of his arms around his human’s neck, let his suckers hold on to the sensitive skin there.
“As a matter of fact, I do. This really sucks because I promised Tom I’d be falling asleep next to him, but it can’t be helped. They plastered a lot of spells all over this place.”
“I saw that,” Fian said.
His brother put both hands in his pockets and started walking back down the path.
“Yup, and I saw you undid some of it. Nice work.”
Fian turned a deep blue black at the compliment. It hit like a punch to the side of his face, hard and unforeseen.
“Th-thanks.”
Mikano whistled. “Don’t just stand there. Let’s move.”
“Your brother scared a cat,” Kai said when they were walking, hand in hand, but also, Kai was properly tentacled. Fian had restricted himself to just four, but he didn’t want to hold on to Kai with anything less than that.
Mikano clicked his teeth. “I did not scare the beast. I told you, cats love us.”
“Do you like cats?” Fian asked.
Kai shrugged. “I guess so.”
Fian beamed. “So do I.”
Mikano snorted. “You just volunteered to cat-sit when we take off for our honeymoon, Tickle.”
One of Fian’s tentacles twitched. “What!?”
Kai bumped into Fian as they reached a road, the pavement there aged and cracked. “That’ll be fun. I’ll help.”
“Oh.” Fian’s color shifted to dark purples.
“Why does he call you Tickle?”
“Because when he was little, he would tickle me with absolutely no provocation whatsoever,” Mikano said, showing Fian his teeth as he spoke.
“You stole my toys, and then you bit off one of my arms!”
Kai nearly missed his step. “You what now?”
Fian had to hold him back. His feisty landbride looked ready to throw a punch.
Mikano shrugged. “I don’t remember that. Plus, even if, they grow back. Look at them!”
He gestured. Kai stroked the tentacle that was currently wrapped around his arm.
Mikano rolled his eyes. “In my defense, I only ever did that once.”
“That’s no defense at all. And you do remember. You told me to ask you how you know they grow back.”
Mikano stuck out his tongue. “And now you do know.”
Kai turned up his nose at Mikano.
They took a right, passing yet another aggressive garden gnome display, this one on a bench next to a disused bus stop, and with Main just around the corner, Fian spotted something yellow.
“It’s Zazine!”
Mikano looked at him, confused. “Who?”
“A colleague. She drove us to the mall. She’s here to help Kai move.”
Mikano’s brows rose. “You arranged that already?”
“I just told him I wanted to go to a hotel,” Kai said.
Mikano pulled out his phone again. “Good call. That’s probably best. There is one that’s nice nearby, White Anchor Inn. Yeah, they have rooms. I’ll book you a double room for the night through Human Liaisons. Kai, your contact?”
Fian watched them exchange numbers by simply touching their phones to one another.
“Tickle, you’ve got this, right? And Kai, you don’t mind having him around, do you?”
“Huh? Of course not.”
Fian’s tentacles tightened as ahead of them, he saw Zazine get out of her car and walk around a mail truck that stood abandoned in the middle of the road.
“We’ll just have to get some of Kai’s important things.”
Mikano nodded. “That’s fine. I’ll follow along.”
Fian turned to Kai. His landbride looked tired, but those black circles around his eyes, they had vanished.
“Ready?”
Kai smiled. “Ready.”
“What the fuck happened here?” Zazine hollered over, but Fian was okay letting Mikano explain, just this once.